Harry, Louis and Zayn hypnotise a cruel critic into loving their music...with their feet
|Credit for the story goes to Jyter the good socialist. I wouldn't have had the idea on my own :)
'Like a cat and a dog falling down the stairs with a lawnmower and symbols.' Matthew thought this summed up One Direction's latest album pretty well. Which was evident in the way he had given this opinion to every major newspaper and magazine he could get his hands on.
He felt pretty pleased with himself; now maybe people would hate them as much as he did.
It was around the time he'd finished publishing all these reviews when he got an anonymous letter. Opening it, he saw the signatures at the bottom: Harry, Louis and Zayn.
"You've got to be kidding me." Matthew scoffed, he read the rest of the letter.
Thanks for being so honest in your opinion about our music, it was a nice
change of pace from all the fakes who enjoy fawning over us.
we were wondering if, as thanks, you would come and stay with us
at our summer home in Madagascar. We'd be happy to have you.
Address and invitation attached.
"Wow, didn't see that coming." Matt mused to himself. "Screw it, why not?"
He went to his bedroom and began to pack.
Within 12 hours he was standing outside of the summer home, though it looked more like a summer palace to Matt.
He rang the doorbell and all three of his hosts answered the door.
"Glad you could make it Matty." Harry put his arm around Matt and guided him inside.
5 hours later you were sat with a glass of vodka, laughing and joking with the boys like the oldest of friends.
"Oh, we meant to ask." Louis said suddenly, "Do you think you could maybe tone down on the hate for our music?"
"Yeah." Said Zhan, "Believe it or not dude; it kinda hurts."
Matt sighed; "So that's why you invited me? to try and get me to change my opinion? no can do boys, sorry."
"Ok then." Harry said. "Fair enough."
Harry made a weird head gesture to the other boys and in unison, they began to remove their shoes.
Matt frowned at this; wondering what they were doing.
Simultaneously, they pulled their shoes off, each revealing a pair of sweaty bare feet.
Immediately, a putrid smell invaded Matt's nostrils; the smell of three different foot odours combined. He could smell vinegar, cheese and sweat all at the same time.
He began to gag slightly.
"Who wants to go first?" Harry asked the other two.
"I'll do it." Zayn replied.
Matt was perplexed by this, he was barely given time to ask what Harry meant when Zayn's moist bare soles made contact with his face.
"MPHFF" Matt tried to pull away, but Harry and Louis held him in place. Zayn started to rub his sweaty soles up and down Matt's face.
"Breathe deep dude. Breathe. Deep." Zayn told him.
Matt didn't want to listen, but the more the sweaty smell invaded his nostrils, the more he felt compelled to obey. Little by little, he began to take gentle, then quite deep sniffs of Zayn's feet.
Harry and Louis let go, but Matt stayed where he was. Taking deep whiffs of Zayn's smelly foot odour.
"This isn't right." He thought. "I shouldn't be doing this." He started to struggle feebly.
"Your turn Louis." Zayn said, he rubbed his soles up and down Matt's face one more time before he stood up and let Louis take his place.
Without the musky scent to hold him in place, Matt started to shuffle away, but he simply slipped and fell onto his back before he could get anywhere.
Louis stood up and raised his big bare foot above Matt's face, Matt could see dirt and grime on his soles.
"Get ready Matty, here I come." Louis laughed, before lowering his rank foot onto Matt's face and rubbing it all over.
Louis' feet were way worse than Zayn's, they stunk of sharp, strong vinegar and made Matt want to retch. It's true what people say: Louis Tomlinson had really rank feet.
Louis was smearing his toes all over Matt's face, he paid special attention as to where Matt's nose was in relation to his toes, Matt squirmed under him, but wherever his face went, it found Louis' feet.
After a while, Matt simply lay there, enduring the stench of Louis' feet and feeling strange. As if he wanted to do whatever Louis wanted. Matt didn't know why he felt like this, but he also had a feeling that as soon as the putrid foot left his face, he might be free.
"Okay Harry, time to finish him off." Louis said. Lifting his foot off of Matt's poor nose, which was beginning to become moist with foot sweat.
"Yeah Har, if anyone can break someone with their feet, it's you." Zayn added.
Harry gave a cheeky grin and sauntered over to matt on his dirty bare feet, caked in sweat and grime.
Before Matt could even begin to comprehend what was happening, Harry's foot had forced itself into Matt's face and Matt was lost in a world of cheese and sweat.
Harry had, by far, the worst smelling feet of the whole group, like strong cheese and butter, with sweat and vinegar.
The sweat of Styles' feet was drenching Matt's face and Matt was openly gagging under the sweaty singers feet.
But now Matt felt it completely: a desire to serve.
Without even realising what he was, Matt began to lick Harry's rank soles and suck his grimy toes.
"Look lads, he's ready." Harry laughed. The others joined in.
Harry stepped away from Matt and sat down next to the others, they all put their still sweaty feet up.
Matt was lost by this point; he crawled over to the boys feet and began to worship them all, licking the dirt, gunk and grime off of the One direction lads smelly feet.
"Now tell us Matt, do you want to tell the world how much you love our music?" Zayn asked.
"Yes sir." Matt said, muffled by a mouthful of Harry's toes.
"Good" Louis grinned.
The lads all sat back and enjoyed the sensation of the cool tongue on their hot feet.
"One critic down..." Harry said.