A Writer's Cramp prompt: Compose a Christmas letter using suggested, random lines.
|Dear Friends, I don't know where to begin. It's been quite the year for my family. Just when I think I've found something sturdy under my feet and I'm getting my bearings, wham, something knocks me off kilter. It's like I'm dangling from the t.v. antenna on the roof, and I'm just waiting for someone to open a window so I can crawl back in out of the wind. Wait a minute. That really happened. Don't quote me on this, but I believe it was a Tuesday. It was early in the week for sure. I know it couldn't be a Monday. The only thing hanging that day is laundry. Between you and me, I miss poor dear old Granny. That woman could work. We had to pry the clothes pegs from her cold, stiff hands. She was carried off wrapped in one of my best sheets. I'm going to visit her Saturday at the old folks' home. I hope she'll be there this time. Two weeks ago, Granny wandered off. They found her in the local grocery store opening bottled drinks. People say she was mixing brews and offering them to shoppers. I can see this. Her dream job was to be one of those product sample ladies. Anyway, the apple cider went bad, or so I heard tell. Oh, remember Reginald? Not the one from Ms. Clare's class, the other one. The short one with bottle eyeglasses. He finally retired. It was kind of sudden though. Come to think of it that happened about two weeks ago, too. I hear he managed a grocery store. It's a real shame about ol' Granny losing her marbles. We in the family were always saying that woman had her head screwed on right. She's set up in a room at Shady Pines Retirement Home. We made sure to hang her diploma on the wall next to her bed. She thought it was a joke that she graduated from college before Billy. Speaking of Billy, I haven't seen him for a while. One minute he was going to classes and studying real hard, the next he disappeared. Strange because he missed an unexpected visit from old friends. They showed up at our door with their loud motorcycles, tattoos, and scruffy beards. It's too bad. They really wanted to re-connect with him. Oh, silly me, I left you hanging. I did break my ankle after my rooftop swing. Walking with crutches is a real pain. People are always tripping me, and saying stupid things like, "you don't have a good leg to stand on." Just like that odd creature, a kitten with an extra toe. I climbed up to the roof to re-position the antenna. One of Billy's old friends accidentally hit the tower with his motorcycle, and I confess, I still enjoy watching my afternoon romance stories. There's always a cliff hanger isn't there? The wee kitten was curled up next to the antenna. Honestly, at first I thought it was a dead squirrel, and since I was already up there, I thought I could throw it off the roof. Lordy, what a fright! That paw with an extra toe had an extra claw, a sharp one. I'm not saying this animal pushed me, maybe I stumbled backwards. The good news is the doctor won't have to put on a fourth plaster cast. I think the kitten is happy to hear this. I adopted him, but he doesn't seem to like me stepping on his tail. He's so sensitive. Well, take care. I'll write again next year. Merry Christmas! ( 597 words )|