|A New Book on Marriage Relationship
Flowing from ‘Day One’, we shall have a conversation around letter ‘A’ of the DASYN HUB. ‘A’ stands for ‘Actor.’ The actor husband has the following character traits: • Self-captivating. • Focused. • Self-asserting. • Believes in hindsight, insight, and foresight. • Controlling with unquestionable authority. • Understands wife a great deal. • Macho-manifesting. • Fights the wife. • Knowledgeable about the wife. • Protector. • Time-sensitive. • Improvement-conscious. • Violent. • Painstaking. • Entitlement mentality.
The actor husband is a very self-confident, kingly, focused and assertive husband who believes in bettering his marital relationship with the total experience garnered from his hindsight, insight, and foresight. He controls his wife because he understands her to a great extent. He manifests his macho-power and makes the wife a punching bag. Nonetheless, he protects the wife from external aggression and violence. He is very painstaking when it comes to seeing his marriage survive.
Actor husbands always expect to be treated like kings, rightly or wrongly. They expect that their authority is not questioned in the home. They expect their wives to genuflect. They do not like their wives to call them by their first names. Whenever that happens, they sense something somewhere has gone awry.
I remember reading a joke of how a little boy is reprimanded by his mother, and he demands his wife. The joke has it that soon after the boy is reprimanded the father enters the scene and sees the boy in an unhappy mood. The father asks the boy what happened and he replies: “Dad, I can’t handle your wife anymore! I want my wife!” The attitude of the boy points to how a lot of authoritative baby husbands become finicky and whimsical over issues of unimportance. A joke of mine goes thus: “Dad, what is marriage?” The dad replies: “Marriage is just a glamorous word that licenses a man to live with an over-trained lady whose mother is no longer comfortable with her continuous stay in the father’s house.” The uncomfortability, perhaps, is the reason why the actor husbands show authority to cow the wives into submission. Actor husbands, like the ideal baby, display entitlement mentality to show their preeminence in the marriage relationship.