by Sailor M
The new 'James Bond' has been kidnapped. Will the studio pay his ransom?
|Unknown Actor, Ned Barrett, The New James Bond!
The studio spent tons of money to get those headlines, with pictures of a fit stylish Londoner, smiling into the camera.
His secretary rushed into the studio Chairman's office.
"Ned's been kidnapped!".
"How do we know?" the Chairman asked.
"The kidnappers demanded 750,000 pounds! We'll have to pay it."
"Hmmm," the Chairman mused, "maybe."
Hands and feet tied, Ned realized as his head cleared. A drafty room, seated on a wooden chair, facing a wall covered with mildewed, faded wall paper.
Twisting the knots didn't loosen them.
"A word of warning," with a chuckle from behind him. "You're stuck here until the studio comes across."
A door closed. A lock clicked.
Leaning forward to shift his weight, Ned leveraged off the chair, and to the floor. Twisted his arms under his legs, and brought the knot tying his hands to his mouth. A couple of minutes working with his teeth, and he was free.
The lock was ancient, only slowed him down for seconds.
A stairway took Ned to an attic. One dirty window. Three stories to the ground.
A weather-beaten trunk contained old blankets. Simple twists to braid them into a rope, tied to the trunk as an anchor. Ned tossed the other end out the window.
The kidnapper saw the open door, pulled his gun, and scanned the empty room. Ned was gone. The ropes used to tie him were too, but the kidnapper missed that. Up to the attic.
The open window, the rope made from blankets. Outraged, the kidnapper roared down the stairs. Where Ned tripped and tied him up with the missing ropes
Ned was telling the studio chairman the tale when his secretary came in.
"Here's why I wasn't worried," the Chairman said. "Meet Agent 005."