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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2146313
by TJ
Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Comedy · #2146313
A Valentine I once wrote for my Love ... (she didn't like it)
Like a bullfrog on a lily pad
I would croak if I lost you
Cuz with a love that knows no laxative
I'm really full of it for you

Like a bucket full o' shark bait, Love
I'm so happy you're my chum
So I wear your name inside a heart
that is tattooed on my bum

An' it says for all eternity
that my love's forever yours
An' it's there for all the world to see
every time I drop my drawers

I would climb the highest potato tree
just to pick you a bag o' chips
Then I'd set you down upon my knee
an' I would kiss your salty lips

Like a urinary tract infection, Love
really stings when I go pee
I could never really bear the pain
if ya said, "Piss Off!" to me!

Sure as herds o' ducks take to the sky
at the very first quack o' dawn
my love is true, sure as cow-birds moo
as they doo-doo on my lawn

Like the frizzy hair upon yer head
I sure hope we'll never part
Cuz like a samwich loves a loaf o' bread
I love you with all my heart

Like the paper on a toilet roll
hope ya never run out on me
I could never wipe ya from my mind
because I love you, yes siree

If you ever told me to hit the road
then I don't know what I'd do
Cuz like the pond scum on a croakin' toad
I am forever stuck on you

Like a big ol' honkin' pot o' beans
makes me wanna fart all day
even if you smelled as bad as me
I swear I'd love you anyway!

The End

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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2146313