I would love some feed back on the first chapter of my story.
“Are you one hundred and ten percent sure that you want to send Lexis on this mission?” Storm asks.
“I am positive Storm.” Ander says.
“She has been on several missions in a row without any down time what so ever. Not having down time can be dangerous to her health and you know this.” Storm says.
“This mission is highly sensitive Storm or do I need to remind you of this?” Ander says.
“No.” Storm replies.
“Lexis is the only one that we can trust with this mission. As far as the down time goes Lexis will be fine.” Ander replies.
“I am worried about Lexis.” Storm says.
“There is no need to worry about her.” Ander says and he is getting tired of Storm and his voice.
“This mission is a dangerous mission and Lexis is your sister for Christ sakes.” Storm says.
“I know she is my sister. Tell me something I don’t know.” Anders says.
“Do you really want to risk her life like this?” Storm asks Ander and Storm is really concerned.
“Lexis is my one and only Elite Time Runner and this mission demands to have an Elite Time Runner assigned to it.” Anders says.
“But it is dangerous. I don’t feel comfortable sending her.” Storm says.
“Lexis can take care of herself. I doubt she will be in any danger.” Ander answers.
“How the hell do you know that?” Storm asks.
“Call it gut instinct.” Ander says.
“Jester Harold is supposedly the commander of Hell’s Gate.” Storm says.
“What do you mean by supposedly?” Ander asks.
“It is just a rumor that I heard.” Storm says.
“Go on. What else?” Ander asks.
“Jester is extremely vicious. Hell’s Gate is the worst terrorist group in this century. He will probably kill Lexis as soon as she goes though the portal.” Storm says.
“I know he is vicious Storm, I heard that too, and I highly doubt he will kill Lexis.” Ander says with confidence in his voice.
“I wish I could believe that but I don’t.” Storm says.
“I am the President of this country you know and what I say goes or did you forget that?” Ander says with authority.
“I know that.” Storm says and he is angry that Ander has to remind him of this simple fact.
“Where is Lexis?” Ander asks.
“Lexis is not even back from her current mission. I know you know this.” Storm says to Ander.
“When is Lexis due in?” Ander asks and he ignores Storm.
“Later this morning.” Storm says and he rolls his eyes.
“I will assign her this mission then. I have already entered her name as the Runner of this mission in the computer.” Ander replies.
“You’re gonna send her right back out? What about her down time? Ander, she really needs this down time especially if she is going on this mission. We want Lexis in tip top shape.” Storm says and he is shocked that Ander wants to do this.
“Let me worry about the stupid down time and as far as I am concerned she can skip the down time one more time without any issues.” Ander says firmly.
“I don’t like this Ander. I really don’t like this.” Storm says and he means what he is saying.
“You don’t have to like it. You are only my assistant. You only transport the Runners to either my office or to the Portal. That is your job description and you know this. You have absolutely no impact on my final decisions.” Ander cruelly says.
“Then why are you discussing this mission with me?” Storm asks with an irritated tone in his voice.
“Because I needed to hear it out loud.” Ander says.
Ander thinks that Storm has been a nuisance for months now. Ander knows that Storm has developed a crush on Lexis and Ander does not like this little fact. Lexis has no interest in Storm romantically or so Lexis says. Ander has petitioned the council to replace Storm many times in the past six months but the council has never responded to him. Ander believes that Storm’s behavior is out of control and his work is being compromised. In reality Storm’s work is top notch but Ander is being paranoid. Ander believes he must take matters into his own hands and he knows what he must do. Ander opens a draw in his chrome desk, he reaches into the draw, and he removes a silver plated pistol. Ander aims the pistol at Storm’s chest and Storm begs him not to shoot him but Ander ignores him and his pleas. Storm wets his pants out of fear and Ander smiles. Ander knows he has Storm where he wants him. Ander thrives off of people’s fear and their weaknesses. Ander thinks that Storm is very weak and he is full of fear. Ander shoots Storm in the chest several times. Storm falls to the floor with a loud thump, blood splatters everything surrounding him, and Ander has a sense of relief. Storm is instantly dead but to make sure Storm is dead Ander shoots Storm in the head, right between the eyes. Storm had been getting much too close to knowing Ander’s dark secret and Ander could not have that. Ander could not have anybody knowing his secret and he obviously would kill to protect it.
Ander calls the Federal Police and he pretends to sound shaken up like he has been traumatized by having to shoot Storm. Then Ander makes a call to the cleanup crew and he sounds very official when he calls the illegal cleanup crew. When the Federal Police arrive to Ander’s office they question Ander on what has happened. Ander cries crocodile tears as he says that Storm tried to physically attack him and Ander says he had to shoot him. The Federal Police ask why Storm would try to attack him and Ander lies and says that he was trying to fire him. The Federal Police accept Ander’s answer as fact for why would the president of this country lie about something like this? When everyone clears out of the office, the cleaning crew included, Ander gets back to work with relief. Killing Storm has been his plan for months now and this is the first opportunity that he has had to put his plan in action. Ander makes a call to Jinx King. Jinx King is Ander’s bodyguard. Ander orders Jinx to meet Lexis at the Portal building in four hours when Lexis is supposed to arrive. Jinx is to bring Lexis to Ander’s office right away. Jinx says that it is Storm’s job to retrieve the Time Runners and deliver them to Ander. Ander states that Storm is dead. Jinx is stunned and asks how this happened. Ander explains what has happened to Storm and says that he had to kill him out of self defense. Jinx is shocked to hear that Storm tried to attack Ander. It is not in Storm’s nature to attack anyone but Ander is saying he tried to attack him. Ander is positive that this is what happened and he is sticking to his lie. Jinx finds Ander’s story to be bizarre and he does not believe it but he does not say a word about it. Jinx does not want to start anything with Ander because Ander has been more than a little unstable for years now. Jinx thinks that Ander might have someone kill him too and Jinx knows better to confront Ander when he is in these moods. Jinx says he will retrieve Lexis from the Portal.