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Rated: 18+ · Non-fiction · Personal · #2192584
Basics about my life.
Life may be pointless for me right now but I know I will grow up and see the meaning of life, like its supposed to be.


Well it all starts off as like any other person is brought into this world, but did not stay that way.

When I was 3 I got put up into foster care, got adopted when I was around the age of 5, good thing my sister and brother did too and by the same people. I never understood about adoption and foster care, until around the age of 13.

I started getting really defiant and distancing myself from my parents. There was no reason why but I just had that thought of betrayal by someone who was supposed to love and care for me and I took it out on the one who came into my life to help.

At the age of 14 I got caught up with a guy that was 19, ( kids its not wroth losing everything for a person who knows your age like this guy did and does not care, because even though you may love him/her at that age you are not ready for adult relationships. Trust me I learned the hard way.) while my parents where on vacation I invited this guy over while I was at my aunt and uncles house. At the time I was using a phone I was not allowed to have. Yes he seemed nice and a person I wanted to be with in the future, but what I didn't see was that I wasn't the only girl or the youngest he had been with. after 3 days of him over I had still not came aware of my life as he saw it. He saw me as a young girl who was vurnable and at the age of wanting to do new and risky things. My parents returned from their trip aware of what happened, I had no clue they knew, while on the drive home they stopped and made me give them the phone. That night I was brought to Cooks Children's Hospital for a whole evalv. and head to feet to prove to my parents that we did not have any sex. I went home mad has hell at my parents. They pressed charges and later he was deported and lost his family he had and reputation.

As for me I could not handle it I started being violent towards my parents and made allegations against them. CPS took custody of me in 2017. I was sent to live with one of my teachers, I was unstable and no longer was safe at the teachers house. I was later tooken to Red River Hospital and was admitted for treatment for suicidal ideation and depression. My life had evolved around a loving family and it was taken by a single mistake. I ended up staying at Red River for over a month, until CPS could find me another placement. At this time I was put on several different kinds of medicine. On the 26th of June 2017 I was admitted to an RTC (residential treatment care) called the Settlement Home. It was all girls and really was not so bad. I soon started to be defiant toward the placement and ran away.

This is the time when my life changed in a flash. It was night in Austin a big city. I was walking when a guy pulled over and asked if I needed a ride, I being dumb and unaware said yes. From that moment on I had never felt more scared in my life. I ended up losing my virginity to this guy, scared and unaware of what could happen if I refused. The next day he dropped me off at a mall and left. About 6 in the morning I got called in to the cops. Not knowing what was going to happen I started to fight, more and more cops showed up and arrested me. Later I was told I was getting arrested for assault on public officer and resisting arrest and transportation. I spent 4 days in Taylor county juvenile detention. On the 7th I was moved to Miracal's Place and again only stayed for 5 days before I was moved to (Sun Behavioral Psychiatric Hospital) for a month. I was diagnosed with a Bipolar disorder, Unspecified anxiety, and Alcohol use disorder, and was put on Risperidone, Oxcarbazepine,Benztropine Meyslate, and Wellbrutrin HCL XL...I was discharged and was placed in Hector Garza for my non-compliance and stabilization of behavior, if your not sure ( Hector Garza) is a horrible place.... https://abraxasyfs.com/hector-garza.html.... I was placed on the 27th for 6 to 9 months stay at Hector Garza, while I was there we had over 12 riots and I got restrained probably 3 times a day. The restraints where horrible and painful.

It was so hard to focus on myself and get the treatment i needed there so I refused my treatment,school,and got in restraints which got me kicked out over 2 months. Audrey Grace House was the next place I went to, TEP placement which is a shelter. That place probably was the best place because of the freedom you had. I think because I was already use to going and coming I just left one night and didn't return. Yes I was picked up by the police of Houston and let me tell if you don't already know Houston police literally do not give a crap about people. I was put in Harris county juvenile detention for overnight for runaway. My CPS worker came and picked me up and brought me another hospital, stayed there for a little while and was sent to a place called New Life. New Life was so bad I literally had to choke myself so I could get taken somewhere else..

I did things on purpose because I knew they got me want I wanted.... Finally I was sent to place called Prairie harbor... This is where everything came to an end.... One of the workers was very nice and sweet it seemed like he actually cared and worked at this job because he wanted to help kids like me, I can tell you this if it wasn't for him I would not be home right now... I spent 6 months there and got released home in June 2018...

Special thanks to my - Case Worker
- Therapist
- Casa Worker
- My Family
- Ricky Norris
- and many others I did not mention that helped me or was part of my treatment in getting me to where I'm now....

Since I have been home I have still had some trouble with my parents, its just hard for me to see them as my parents when I know that I had someone out there that should have been. But I ended up running away after Christmas over an issue with my phone, I let things get to me that I shouldn't. I spent over 6 hours over night which I thought was a couple because I feel asleep after a ran into a tree. That morning around 6 I woke up and got some hunters to pull over and help me at this time I could not feel my feet and I just wanted to be warm. These nice hunters weren't even from around this area they are heroes to me. Later the cops got called and my parents, when they arrived I refused to go home so I was sent to a Psychiatric Hospital. On my way home from there I was focused in the reason of why my mom came and picked me up, at this time I'm still not wanting to have anything to do with parents. I was getting irritated by my mom and on the drive home I threatened to make her crash so she pulled over and called the cops, when the cop arrived I had the attitude of fuck y'all so I didn't talk. he decided it wasn't a life threatening threat and it would be OK to just take me home. So here we are fixing to drive off after the cop left when something just came over me, I grabbed a charger cord and tried to choke my mom..... I'm so sorry mom....
The cop was soon back and took me in for family assault but they found my journal which was full of suicidal stuff, enough reasons to put me back in a hospital..The officer later came and got me after my 7 day treatment and arrested me for the family assault and a couple of other charges.
I was sent to the juvenile detention in Wichita falls, where I spent about a week and went to court in Decatur, at court I had the idea of simply I was getting out well that wasn't the case my probation officer was set on me learning something from this and the judge thought so to so here I am really pissed off even to the point I was crying because they decided to detain me again for another 15 work days.. As they where taking me back to the patrol car I got loose and took off the cuffs which led to an altercation between me and the officers... I was charged with 2nd degree felony of assault on public officer and was tooken back to detention... After another 2 or so weeks I went back to court this time being released but me always having something to say didn't want to apologize to the officers I assaulted which made my probation officer on edge if she should let me go home so there I am sent back to detention again..

I was released home on the 19 of March 2019... went to court for my probation which was set on the 22 or 23 for a year and 20 hours of community service and 2 classes I had to take.... So here I am trying to become someone better.....

I'm now home... But still not stable and working on redoing what I have messed up....

I'm on my 2 month of probation I get off next March (wish me luck) I have now got multiple felony's and misdemeanor's on my records from coming home... But I have learned that the law is in control on some things and is best just to do the right thing so you don't have to bother with them...

I'm doing much better now ( 6/13/19 ) I have got two jobs which are keeping me out of trouble... I see me probation officer ever 2nd and 4th Wednesday.... So any prayers or help will be much grateful....

Yes I am getting the help I need I have started seeing a counselor regular now which truly brings me joy to have someone to just sit down with and be able to talk about anything I want to.... My counselor is one of a kind.... thank you counselor!!!!!
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