by Estrella Mae
not sure what this is..maybe might be story with more chapters??
| She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall of photographs with a blank expression on her face. Over thirty images of her and her friends laughing and making ridiculous faces. Half a smile creeps its way onto her face. There's the one of her best friend doing a handstand and falling on top her her and the one of them when they went to the semi formal dance at her high school. Each picture takes her back to a time when she felt alive. If only she could have more than the memory of what it's like to feel something.
Emotions, thoughts, and creative ideas have slipped away, all being replaced by an overwhelming numbness. Even choking on tears from the pain of heartbreak would be better than this. She'd trade a year of her life as it was for a single sensation. The idea of most tasks made her nauseous because no matter how well she did them, she wouldn't get any satisfaction. Some days she thought that maybe all she needed was a change to motivate her, but every time she began to think about actually working on it, a feeling of apathy consumed her and she found herself loosing hope all too quickly. Every day she promised herself "Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be my day." but tomorrow always turned out to be a repeat of the day before. Anger and frustration at her inability to snap out of the fuzzy state she was living in didn't help either. She wanted to have goals again, to find what makes her tick, but every passing day left her without much hope. She was so, so numb. She just kept waiting, waiting for something to feel real.
"Gabby! Get down here and set the table for dinner," her mother yelled from the kitchen. Gabby had always been the most helpful child, known for always doing what people asked of her and never talking back to adults. She was an honors student, well-rounded, and never quarreled with her classmates. She was the child who respected the rules, behaved perfectly, and treated others with kindness. So, how could she possibly be this unhappy?
"How was school today, honey?" Her mother, Lucy.
"Alright," Gabby answered quietly as she meticulously placed forks and knives at each plate.
"Did you talk to Mr. Plant about signing up for Academic decathlon? You need to do that soon. Plus, I noticed your Spanish grade dropped to a B. I hope there's still enough time to bring that up before grades for this semester are finalized."
"Mm-hm," was the only thing Gabby could manage to let out.
These days, everything was so damn tiring. Gabby followed her usual routine of struggling to stay awake through dinner, cleaning up the dishes, and then heading upstairs to do homework until it was time for bed. Even though it was the same ritual every single day, it still managed to wipe her out, leaving her with no energy to do anything. That is, except for sleep. Sleep was an escape. It was the one place where she didn't have to put in effort and feel like it wasn't going to amount to anything. Each day was a battle, and the worst part was she was fighting it entirely by her