| Looking into what I call me, I am seeing the real me I don't want to see. Leaving the abandonment issues I feel so deep. Not sowing the seeds of depression that I reap.
So lovingly, so awkwardly I did release the opening of emotions w I am not pleased. Surrendering the opinions I thought so rare. Surrendering the mountains I just couldn't bare; to climb, to assimilate, to make mine. Instead I chose the valley in search of nothing to find w such a closed off mind. To my surprise and my conclusion, I am the creator of my own illusion. Scraping of claws, gnashing of teeth, from my hell, I set myself free. This pain is great in the suffering I seek, w full intent to initiate the new me. The one I lost so long ago. When it was, I don't exactly know. One of the many times I fell so far, deep, so deep down are the many scars. Too deep to show. Reopening old wounds infecting my blood, opening my gates, to enter the flood, of healing. The reckoning, the feeling, the me I haven't been. All is well, this is a learning not a sin. In this knowing, my truth in self & happiness begins. The waiting the longing comes to an end. I know, I am truly loving myself again. Unconditionally in love my healing I send to the others who are waiting on the fringe.