by crys tyler
A creative writing piece that made its way into my book
| From "The Most Popular Freak in School" by Crystal Tyler
In the darkness, I see nothing. Yet I convince myself I see everything there is to see, or at least that I think there is to see. It's always been so easy for me to manipulate my brain to see anything I could think of. It's so easy to tell myself there's someone in this dark room with me and the only reason as to why I can't see them is because it's too dark. Just because you don't see it, it doesn't take away from the possibility of its reality. It's easy to believe any thought that comes to my head. It's been a gift, as I've been able to bring amazing ideas and concepts into reality and create beautiful things. But that same gift has also been a curse. Anything I choose to believe, I will, including the bad. If I think someone doesn't like me, they don't. If I think someone's saying something bad about me, they are. If I think I'm unwanted, I am.
In the shadows is where the darkest creatures lurk. The ones that don't want to be seen because of their own fears. Because they believe they're too ugly, too awkward, or too weird to come out and be seen. So the shadows are the safest place for them to stay. But maybe what they believe isn't true. Maybe they are beautiful. Maybe they are valid. But the perceptions of those around you can create a whole different reality. That is if you allow them to.
My Island is home to the third biggest high school in America, where the only two colors in existence are purple and white. From my own experience in this school, I can tell you it's a breeding ground for young bigots, being raised to carry on the traditions of a red island in a blue state. Fortunately, some lost souls manage to fall through the cracks and deviate from the expected closed-mindedness. And by lost souls, I mean the ones who dare to be different. Those who are brave enough not to let what they grew up in shape their morals. All the way at the North Shore of the island is the Pride Center. The one small but real resource for queer youth in a community where most of the parents are too old fashioned and ignorant to be having kids. But no matter how small, they offer a safe place for the kids who feel too scared to be themselves in their own homes.