by Avari W.
She's broken-hearted. He regrets hurting her.
|“Hey dude, isn’t that your ex?” his friends joked.
“Haha, yea the most recent one.”
He looked to the girl they were gesturing to and it was her.
“I’ll be back,” he said and walked over to the dance floor where she was. He didn't know why he felt he had to talk to her, he knew he probably shouldn't go over, but he always felt drawn to her. There was something about her, something familiar, something bad that he felt he had to deal with.
“Hey… how- how have you been?” he asked her, tapping her shoulder. She whirled around to see him and chuckled, her eyes looked dazed and she had mascara down her cheeks from tears.
“Honestly, I eat my dinner in my bathtub… then I go to sex clubs. Watching freaky people gettin' it on, it doesn't make me nervous, if anything I'm restless.” she giggled and he just looked at her, confused.
“Sounds like you've been having fun?” he said, not sure what else to say.
“Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all." she paused before adding, "I get home, I get the munchies, binge on all my Twinkies, throw up in the tub, then I go to sleep.” she says, and stumbles on her feet a little bit.
“Are you drunk?” he asked, concerned. She smiled.
“I drank up all my money… I’m… dazed and kinda lonely… hahaha.” she said and tripped again, falling into a fit of laughter.
“But… I don't get it, you had stopped, you were doing so well…” he said, trying to make sense of the situation, “You finally loved your life again…” She looked at him as if he were dumb.
“You're gone and I gotta stay high... all the time…” she said.
“Why though?” he said, hurt flashing in his eyes.
“To keep you off my mind…” she said and for a second, she dropped, her eyes flashed with hurt and loneliness and she looked like a wreck before the drugs pulled her back up and she started giggling. She never could stop talking when she was high though.
“Spend my days locked in a haze, tryna forget you, babe. I fall back down… gotta stay high all my life… to forget I'm missing you.” her eyes fogged over with sadness and her breathing got shorter and quicker as tears fought to spill from her eyes but whatever was in her system kept her in the clouds. She took a deep breath. “Staying in my play pretend where the fun ain't got no end.” she said and the smile was back, but it didn't quite reach her eyes like it usually would when she was happy. Her eyes didn't light up with life. She wasn’t really happy. She started looking around.
“What are you looking for?” he asked, his voice cracking with hurt. He had done this to her and he hated himself for it.
“Can't go home alone again. Need someone to numb the pain.” she muttered, still searching the room with her eyes.
“Please, you don’t have to,” he said, reaching out and grabbing her arm before she could find someone and leave him again.
“You're gone and I gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind.” she reminded him, her eyes almost pleading and he released her.
“I’m tryna forget you, babe.” she said, the look in her eyes apmost apologetic. She took a single step back, then another before saying, “Gotta stay high all my life, to forget I'm missing you…” her eyes teared up and a single tear ran down her cheek, blackened by mascara. She turned and walked away. Gone.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as a tear ran down his cheek and he was left alone.