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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2230463-a-grim-spec-of-DID--schizophrenia
Rated: E · Non-fiction · Personal · #2230463
Some of my experiences with these conditions. It's a sort of memoir
I don't want to list this in the psychological section since both were triggered to the current extent (mostly) by a sociology experience; but,.. be as it is, I am very much hoping this will hook the interest of some readers from that field: even though most psychology problems are caused (triggered) by social -* (living our 'worldly' life) *- experiences. ... Sociology debunks psychology.

A big word for me!, just remove the 's' from the end:... and I might even apply "adore" to its rhymability with "spirit".

This all happened in Colorado. My first chakra opened in Medicine-bow Route Ntl. Forrest, in the second half of October, 2019, when I was 36; and I believe my third eye became much more finely tuned as well: all I know is I discovered I had some new abilities in the weeks and months that followed:... this part is very real!... And this little bit has to be mentioned before the rest.

I had listened to - and felt with - the world and universe:... and myself... so deeply:... I had unknowingly connected with a different realm;... ... and awoke a few new personalities.

I hope this is flowing well... perhaps one of my challenges as a schizophrenic DID writer.

There were times when I was quite delusional and became very aware of that later:... and there is another big word with me... "aware". ... Also the bulk of this happened between late January and early March 2020.

Now... I don't really care how choppy the rest of this gets:... perhaps this is partly a reflection of these conditions; and these are just scraps of thoughts about those months anyway. ... And I'm hoping this will be something of a blog. This'll be a bit of free writing.

I'll start with my spirit guide's, who can interact with me in some crazy and interesting ways. Some of the people who I believe are with me left this world long before I was born. And I will add that I practice shamanism:... something of Calling for me:... and, I'm well aware there are secrets and mysteries to this world and universe far beyond our current understanding. But I do know I got in touch (or connected with) some really deep stuff when I was in the mountains.

A lot of their interactions I believe were to prevent the wrong personalitie(s) from "taking over the driver seat"...

This was, I think, one of the psychosis issues...
I believed for many weeks I was talking to the subconscious spirit of various actors, actresses, musicians, authors

There was one evening, I at least thought I was talking with an ancient Native American spirit. It started at 6PM, and my awareness of time passing was 1 hour, but when it ended, with me sensing several presences looking at me (and I think at each other) with a very odd unsettling feeling, and I suddenly realized how tired I felt, I checked my SUV dash clock and it was 12:06... ...

Missing time:...
Left, walking - out of money and gas - for the homeless helping building, stayed there most of the day, then on the walk back I eventually got a ride from a good citizen, and discovered very quickly I was quite the ways off from where I thought I was (also largely due to some other dillusion I had experienced a couple nights before), and after I got dropped off at my SUV and checked my phone I noticed something funny with the date being a week later, and I remember realizing that morning (of the day I was aware of) that my birthday was 2 days away... ... and shocked my SUV was still there. ... ... I'm stumped...

Another missing time thing also happened within a couple weeks of previous two events. I was walking down the street - thinking I was being invaded in various ways and tormented by someone who for some reason was very angry with me - when I was suddenly a long ways past where I'd meant to make a left.

Sorry for this just kind of suddenly ending, but any more and I think it would get too confusing. And my time at the homeless shelter in Fort Collins, where the schizophrenia got a lot worse, is whole other story.

I'm staying in NC with some family now... "getting my ducks in order"... waiting for my disability case to be reviewed. In recent months I've read many articles and watched a lot of documentaries and TED talk about these conditions.
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