A tasty banquet of a unique and excellent cuisine prepared by a chef, distorted.
|They hang around dangling from tree limbs, but I find it better when they are horizontal. For our banquet, they are specialty items and for this, it is that we appreciate the criminal justice system. These delicious morsels already are well seasoned with our favorite spice the blowfly. Sometimes though, we have added spice of eyeball invaders consisting of insect eggs or squirming larva or the vestige of slime clinging to the membrane.
Before our festivities are in full swing, haha, Our victuals are procured and cleaned but not with Lysol. The sound of the rope crying as our meal sways is music to our ears. The botflies do a marvelous job of inspecting and depositing larva in the right places which if I say so myself is one of my favorite things about being the coroner and in charge of disposing of the dead.
My taste however is of a requirement that the bodies lay exposed to nature for a few days upon the ground allowing more intricate invasions of tasty treats. I inspect closely listening for the sounds of flesh being displaced by those wonderful and dedicated creatures who think they’re going to raise a family. Nope, not happening ‘cause I prepare the meals and I will use all the creepy crawly scratching, wiggling, and grotesque body invaders for spicing up the flesh, innards, and bones of our less appreciated humans, especially the hanging ones who have been deemed useless and dangerous. I can leach blood from the feet and catch this delectable and tasty gold for our dining pleasure, taking delight in my abilities and the art of my job. Oh, the sounds of dining are such wonderful music as…hum, we have something new.
Pressing the chest makes a gurgling sound which has never happened before. AHH, a rare find I have. I will be rich!
“What’s that? Who’s that? Get out of my kitchen!”
Any way I slice it, our festival feasts are the very best nature and the justice system can provide. Oh yes… about the rest of the preparations, well it’s like a work of art it is and I enjoy every bit of flesh in my hands, the feel of muscle, the sight of the botfly eggs and large yum such wonderful tasty morcels…
“Who’s creaking and sliding around here? If you think you can get my recipe or steal our food, you’re seriously mistaken. Get out of here before I catch you.”
As I was saying, we garnish our meat with sprinklings of fine ground cartilage for effect and to hold onto the wings of botflies that are newly hatched as a decorative accent. Butt check is tender and a special treat. It is usually reserved for our royalty who takes generous care of everyone by granting special times for hangings as needed. When we’re not hungry the condemned wait a while. Eventually, it’s time to swing so the criminal is trusted up and allowed to ferment. I get the fun of food preparation. But some of the fun…
“Geeze, what the heck is that noise!”
Worm and slug sauce works well with the ribs, stomach and intestines are relished immensely because I adorn this with my special maggot and eye glaze that I roll them in and then place on a bed of fresh bone meal and fingernail oh sometimes toenail blanket while the sun is bright and baking everything. This is how I get it crispy, but don’t tell anyone. Want a taste, or can you…
That horrible noise! The humming and squeaking and hissing and knocking, it’s got to stop it. stop it! stop it! Shut up!
Am I imagining things or has the noise become louder and closer? Well, I need to get this done so would you please excuse me?
Wait! A favor please, would you carry the main dish to the dining room? It would save me a trip and besides this fellow was very overweight and full of fat so I really don’t want to strain my back. The fat by the way is wonderful for times when we want cooked snacks. It does well with toes and fingers they come out crispy and are easier to eat.
“noise, noise, noise, it’s getting closer, what is that? My sauce is being interrupted by that noise! Where is it I want to kill it, that noise is screeching and scraping that causes me to think our tunnels are haunted.”
Get a good hold and sling carefully the torso over your back evenly. Don’t drop it. Thank you for your help. For this, I’ll make sure you get the heart.
You know once we had an invasion and somebody used Lysol to clear us out but we prevailed. Well, you go and I’ll see you later.
“ I’ll find that blasted noise I sure will. Those botflies had better not be trying to get a free meal before our banquet starts. Shut up! I’ll get you.”
Now as I was saying the preparation takes a long time but the cleanup is very easy. Whatever is left is thrown into barrels and put above ground for the critters to claim. Usually, it only takes a few days for everything to vanish but oh my the stench.
All Of us underground dwellers take pride in having the best food around. The other humans who live on top have no idea we’re here most of the time.
“What was that snap! Did you hear that? Oh, right you left. oh well.”
I continue my narrative so that you completely understand our lifestyles and cultures down here. We are able to work together to make certain that those above do what we want when we need. Sometimes we need extra human criminals so we tinker with their societal plans and they execute and sometimes bury the dead, but usually, this is wonderful because, the dead wind up in one of our tunnels after they’re dumped and filled in then I get the body and start processing, then…
“it’s loud and close what the heck!…did you hear that?”
I remember now, you left oh well. Wasn’t I supposed to be doing something else, I think? Oh yeah, I need to find that noise. Are you coming? It’ll be great fun especially if there’s another criminal available. Either way, I don’t mind. I hope we’re back in time for our banquet.
“Oh that’s right you left, I’ll do this myself.”
We should light a torch or candle. That scratching it’s too much.
“I’ll put this to rest right now, you gonna join me? Well! … Hey! …oh yeah you already left.”
All this way through all these tunnels because some scratching, thumping, and now buzzing noises are beyond annoying. I’ll be livid if I don’t get this stopped and I mean stopped immediately. Hum, this must be a new tunnel. Why not, maybe it will be a short cut to where these horrible noises are coming from. I would rather be working in the kitchen but these noises have to be stopped and never to happen again.
“Am I right my friend? Where’d you get too? Hey common! I’m waiting for ya! Oooh, common will ya, hurry up and get with it before I leave you alone to find your own way back. Did you hear… oh … that’s right, you already left.”
It’s getting louder and I believe soon I will discover what all these noises are so that I can get them to stop. My weapon so marvelous is ready for that little nuisance or group of them, or whatever. It’s like old times I’m good at this. I’m hungry guess I’ve been traveling’ longer than I thought. Yum, I can just taste the deliciousness of our banquet meal, I must hurry. The banquet calls to me. Sorry to interrupt our kitchen tour but this is absolutely necessary, you understand.
Stay behind, it looks like the tunnel is widening and the sounds are really loud now. You got any earplugs? I surely could use them right now.
“Do me a favor, put your fingers in my ears, and block this retched horrible bunch of noises. Please? It would …oh yeah, you already left.”
Wow, what the heck is this? For the record, I haven’t seen anything like all these silvery ropes. They aren’t like the ropes used to hang criminals. Why did the noises stop and who’s making them I know not but I’ll find out. Are those white jewels? They could be valuable. I’ll have to get some and then further investigate the noises. This is eerie, it’s quiet, wonder if whoever it is left already.
“Did you see anyone leave? Are you keeping an eye out for anything that moves? For goodness sake answer me. He … oh yeah you already left.”
I guess then all this treasure whatever it is is all mine. Finders keepers, finders keepers, finders keepers. I must get this stuff and return to the banquet before there’s nothing left. After all, we have a few visitors. Oh shut up stomach I’ll feed you in a bit. Now, as I was saying about the banquet it is wonderful, the smells tickle your nose and start the salivating process. We all gather round the huge table and start carving whatever body part we’re interested in feasting on, and by the way, it’s most wonderful raw with a pinch of this and that seasoning I told you about a while ago depending on taste.
I’m out of breath trying to climb this robe like stiff, it’s a bit sticky. Let me catch my breath and I’ll tell you more in a moment. I need to stay still and rest.
Ok, let’s go. It seems I’m stuck. I’m stuck, where did you go. I was going to tell you more about our banquet, get back here, where are you?
“Hey, where are you? Hey, hey, where are you? I’m stuck help me. Get back… oh, you already left.”
I’m going to miss the banquet. I sure wish someone was around to help, I don’t want to miss the banquet. I’ve got to get to the banquet!
“Hey! anybody… anybody, hey help! “
That sound oh those sounds they’ve started up again. The horrible clicking, scratching, sliding, and scraping sounds. They’re very close now. Maybe someone can help me get free from these sticky clingy threads.
Ahhhh! HELP! What are you? Who are these things?
“What are you and what are you doing down here?”
“We’ve been invited to the banquet.”
“Well then help me out of this stuff.”
“Oh, we most certainly will.”
“Thank you so much. I wouldn’t want to be late for the banquet.”
“Neither would we, and you’re just in time.”
Write a story that includes blowflies, Lysol, and auditory hallucinations.
9817 characters, 1816 words. Readability level: 9-10th grade student