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Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Food/Cooking · #2271117
A sweet argument

“What are you doing up so early? It’s still dark out.”

“I’m buying donuts for Junior’s birthday breakfast. You do remember he turns seven today, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. Look, no need for you to get up. I can run to the store and grab a box.”

“No, no, no! That’s okay. I’ve got it.”

“Wait a minute. Is this about the -”

“Of course not! I’m just...just better at picking out donuts than you are.”

“Uh huh. Right.”

“C’mon, honey. You’ve got things you’re good at like that awesome creamed chicken dish you made the other night. But you have no taste when it comes to donuts.”

“This is about the apple fritters, isn’t it?”

“Psh, no. Can you hand me those socks?”

“Don’t change the subject. You’re still mad about the apple fritters I bought for your birthday.”

“Fine! I’m still mad. Now gimme the darn socks!”

“No! Not until you apologize!”

“Me apologize? You’re the one who needs to apologize for those stale rocks you dared to call fritters!”

“It was the only store open so late!”

“And there’s the rub, sweetheart. You wouldn’t have had to resort to day-olds if you’d remembered my birthday and picked up a box of donuts in the morning before all the good stuff sold out!”

“I’ve already apologized for forgetting your birthday.”

“I could care diddly-squat about you forgetting my birthday. It’s the apple fritters, dear. It’s all you ever buy. But other donuts exist! Boston creams, old fashioneds, powdered, jelly filled!”

“If I’d known what a crazy donut-loving family you came from…”

“What? You knew what you were getting into when you married me! This has been a tradition for generations and you wrecked it in one day! The least you could do is apologize!”

“It’s a stupid thing to apologize for.”

“So now I’m stupid?”

“I didn’t say that! You’re twisting my words!”

“Cinnamon Twists! You could at least add one or two of those to our baker’s dozen, but do you? Never!”

“They’re too sugary. It’s like glitter or sand coating my hand after I eat one of those. Besides, nobody really likes them. They’re too plain.”

I like them. In fact, they’re my favorites. Why are you laughing?”

“I know what your favorite is, and it’s not cinnamon twists!”

“Oh, yeah, mister smart guy? What’s my favorite then?”

“Maple Bars.”

“Don’t look so smug. I’m still not sending you out there to pick out donuts. I’m putting my foot down on this one!”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna go out and prove you wrong! I’ll buy the best variety of donuts you’ve ever tasted!”

“Get out of the car! I told you, donuts are my purview from now on!”

“And I told you, I’m gonna prove you wrong! I’m coming with you!”



“You know...I think we forgot something.”

“Chocolate Long Johns?”

“Noooo. Junior! We left him home alone!”

Crap! This is all your fault!”

“Are you blaming me?

“Not you. The apple fritters!”

The Crumbs
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