My perspective on solitude as a concept

A stream of thought about solitude

Living in solitude is best for me, in my opinion.

If I didn't have solitude, I wouldn't be able to work on self development or better myself as a human being, amongst other things.
I realise that solitude is not always good but I find comfort in being alone - it empowers me to thrive and gain enthusiasm to tackle people again.
This is controversial and a lot may disagree, but I only need very few people in my life. I need people for the physical transition to help with my disability and my care needs but mentally I'm quite happy in myself and my own skin. It didn’t happen overnight, nonetheless I got to where I wanted to be, after years of working on myself - the bits I didn’t like and creating a new self that I have more confidence in. It’s an ongoing process and I’ve still got lots of questions, which hopefully can be answered through philosophy and psychology.
The self is so fascinating, with many parts to it that need rejigging, like a puzzle. In which solitude is necessary, to pay attention to these things and contemplate who you are and who you want to become. The self has different needs at different times.
Sometimes, to me people can be a big hindrance. They’re there but you're still on your own and in your own thoughts. If somebody can bring something to the table and say something worth listening to then I’m happy to have them there, but if they don't contribute anything of value then most of the time I feel really sad when I have to see people, because they’re not changing at the same rate as I am.
The winter time of year makes it worse.
The seasonal disorder.
“The impending doom”
Solitude allows me to cope with it, when things shut down, since it’s an opportunity to reset. The quiet times create space for your thoughts to be clearer.
Some people need to be social but I'm on the other side of the spectrum, processing everything, mentally and physically, trying to comprehend the world around me.
Some people’s mood fluctuates more often and if someone's mood isn’t constant, it doesn't help with mine. When I have my period, my mood goes everywhere and the power of my thoughts is fast but my physical capabilities are slow. These times are when I’m in desperate need of solitude.
The deepness takes away the pain in my solitude. We cope with pain by intellectualizing it, analyzing or rationalising emotions instead of feeling them.
People may argue that solitude is not a healthy concept, some people really benefit and might prefer to be surrounded by others. However in my view, although it's nice to have things planned, to look forward to. I’ve always preferred being 1 on 1 with others and still you can come back to your own thoughts and the silence allows for introspection. This way I can debrief behaviours, ideas, etc.
I need that time to grasp the learnings I've gained from people, if any. As I really like to understand why people act and behave the way they do, and say what they say and think what they think. If you haven’t experienced solitude, you need to step back and think about what I have learnt from this experience. In order to appreciate others and to not get so worked up if people do not behave in the way you anticipated. What you observe from other individuals, the self can depict parts constantly - everchanging and blending from the way they are. The way people imitate others, what they take on and show the world.
When the busyness of life takes over, it holds back checking in with every part of you and your soul. Slowing down grants appreciation for nature, like listening to the birds sing.
The light can bring about what has been dark times.

I’ll leave you alone now to reflect on this piece of writing…

I’d love to hear your feedback!