The Bad Boy

How Ivan got his rep.

“How do I look?’ Ivan did a slow turn.

“Like a bald fifty year old having a seven year itch he can’t scratch because his fake wig is in the way.” Harriet, Vian’s older sister ogled him up and down. “How much did that leather outfit featuring your bulging stomach cost?”

Ivan sucked in his gut. It made his next comment defending himself come out like an injured whisper. “It’s my new bad boy image. My artificial intelligence guru said it would turn me into a girl magnet.”

Harriet raised an eyebrow, stifled a laugh, and asked, “Okay. You finally got a date lined up on that expensive dating app. Show me who it is with.’

Ivan stood a little taller and pointed. “Just look out the window. I made her come to me instead of picking her up. All the other male duffas are roleplaying big time spenders. I win. I’m the only fifty something bad boy around. That’s Mavis. She’s the most sought after semi eligible female on the site.”

Harriet wasn’t looking at the plastic surgery re-conditioned wonder outside. “You rented a Hog? You’ve never been on a motorcycle. What were you thinking?”

Mavis waved and honked the horn of her $600,000 Lamborghini Aventador SVJ. “Dawling. I brought my toy. I want to show you what its got. Zero to a hundred and twenty in six seconds flat. What a turn on.”

“See? She can’t wait to spend a fortune on me.” Ivan grinned maniacally and threw open the front room door. “Want me to drive, sweetheart?”

‘Only if I can sit on your lap and press the gas, you big hunk. I’ll let you take it for a spin after you give me one after I show you what this baby is capable of. Mavis leaned over, spilling abundant fake cleavage to open the car’s side door.

“Geez. I’ve won the lottery!” Ivan tried not to wobble in his new leather boots, managing to swagger his way to the open invitation of a date to remember.

“Hop inside, darlink. I’m ready to fly.” The sound of Mavis’ foot on the throttle turned the car’s motor into the sound of a taking off jet plane.

Ivan thumped down into position, an arm carelessly flung around his new date’s shoulders. Six seconds later, he'd lost his toupee, had windy tears in his eyes, and was making permanent dents in the upholstery with his fingernails.

The only thing holding him down in his seat was Mavis’ free hand searching his crotch. “First gear. He’s all right. Second gear, I’m going down Third gear, He’s a mushroom cloud.”

The red stoplight passed in the blink of an eye. A siren blasted the air into shockwaves as a highway patrol car faded in the dust. “Do me, do me, Hunk.” Mavis stopped trying to tie Ivan’s manhood into knots and tugged his hand deep between her thighs.

Ivan’s whole body was shivering in fear. With eyes closed his fingers sought steadying purchase and clamped tightly on her. Mavis’ body arched in pleasure. “Oh wow. Wow. Baby. You bad, bad boy. Yes. Yes. I’ve never cum so fast. Do me again and I’m your’s forever.”

The Lamborghini didn’t bother trying to take the sharp curve, it soared as high and fast as Mavi’s screams of delight.

Ivan opened his eyes to see their downward spiral making a big splash in a lake down below. Somehow he got his and her seatbelts off, swam her limp body up into the air. The detaching filled airbags ended up becoming makeshift rafts floating the couple to shore.

“Baby. Baby. Baby,” Mavis’ eyes opened as Ivan gave her mouth CPR. She clutched him to her, grinding her hips as she pulled him over her.

Applause broke out from the onlookers attracted by the accident standing up on the ridge. “Wait until I get you in my $80,000,000 Vibe jet. I’ll really teach you how to fly.”

Ivan hadn’t lost all his sanity in the crash crush Mavis had inspired. “Uh. Let’s build the anticipation, sweetheart. I’ll get back to you.”


“You’re playing hard to get, bad boy. It’s working. There’s Mavis, again, moaning for you outside our door.” Harriet shook Ivan awake from his nap in front of the Cheaters episode on their TV.

“You answer it. I’ll pay you fifty bucks to get rid of her.” Ivan sunk deeper into his cushions.

“Hi. I’m Harriet.” A hand shot out and pulled her outside.

“Good idea. A threesome! Why didn’t I think of that?

The police weren’t sure how to report what they found,m whether it was the most sordid sexual event beyond imagination or the strangest fight for survival they’d ever met.

“I’ll pay for bail and for any damages. What a hoot, Hunk and Babe. You’ve worn me out. I’d like to take you on vacation with me to Jamaica, but I don’t think I’d survive another round.”

WC 828