Evil Sentence Fragments Torment a Sardine Sandwich in County Mayo
|It was the best and worst of times.
The Sardine Sandwich, throwing caution to the wind, actually parted with a few Euros and decided to splurge on buying a published book of romance.
Sure as I'm swimming here, it happened in a bookshop in Westport, County Mayo, Ireland one fine breezy March day.
And so it was an intriguing story and the book was obviously successful since it was in the bestseller pile at the bookshop.
From the first paragraph, the Sardine Sandwich was hooked and barely glanced up as the Connemara whale swam around him for many hours. Feeling saucy, the Connemara whale even executed a few figure eights and spouted water in the direction of the sandwich, who paid him no mind.
"This can't be! I don't believe it!" screamed the Sardine Sandwich, breaking the whale's concentration.
"What is your problem?" snapped the Connemara whale.
"This story breaks the rules. It uses sentence fragments! That's just not done!"
The Connemara whale thought he was pretty amusing with his witty, fragmented retort. Connemara whales are like that, you see.
Not content with leaving it at that, he added, "You bought it didn't you? And you're reading it. I haven't seen you move from that spot. Maybe using language to tell the story effectively and in an original way takes precedence over always following some rigid rules."
Alas, the Connemara whale's brilliant and erudite remarks were lost on the Sardine Sandwich.
He was too busy.