Here I am. Send me.--Chapter Ten

Evelyn and Chris talk through all they have seen and ponder their next steps.

CHAPTER TEN

Evelyn decided that pacing and shivering was better than sitting and shivering. She established a route across the hospital waiting room with one end of the path ending at the window where she would glance out after each lap and look for a car that might belong to Chris. She had no idea what kind of car he drove. She knew almost nothing about him.

So, why had she called him?

Was it because he was a pastor? That would be a significant and sudden life change.

Was it because he was attractive, her age, and single? Probably getting warmer.

That led her to the question of whether she was so selfish and shallow that she could walk away from a scene of mourning and use that to improve her romantic life. She had long since quit believing that there was a ceiling on the selfishness of the average human being. Why should she be immune?

He arrived in an older Dodge Ram pick-up truck with a few dents and plenty of scratches. She waited for him to come to a stop before stepping out into the cold and climbing into his truck. It took a couple of bounces to pull herself up into the high cab. He obviously didn't have a girlfriend. If he did, the girlfriend would have demanded that he add a step to this thing.

"I didn't picture you as a pick-up truck kind of guy."

"I'm probably not. My parents offered it to me for free and I am a beggars can't be choosers kind of guy."

That was when she noticed that he was as wet as she was.

Her mouth dropped open. "You were at the school! If I took you away from that, leave me here and go back, I'll get an Uber."

He shook his head, "The last children were picked up by their parents. I stayed a little later to talk with some of the teachers. They're a strong group with strong faith. They support each other. I was finishing up when you called."

She asked the question she didn't want to ask, "I haven't seen the news. Were there... any children hurt?"

"No. Just Officer Toland and one of the shooters. How are you doing?"

It was a simple question with an impossible answer. She could go the strong, silent route, which would force him to push, or she could go the melodramatic route and try and play on his heartstrings. Both fake. But what was the honest answer? Internally, she was a maelstrom of swirling emotions wrapped in her selfish thoughts and motives.

She answered as honestly as she could. "There's no good answer to that question."

"Then give me a bad one."

"I shouldn't have called you."

"Why not?"

She wasn't ready to be that honest. "I just shouldn't."

He shrugged. "Well, you did. And here I am. And I'm glad."

"Why?"

"There's something I want to talk to you about."

The dust devil of her emotions turned into a tornado. What did he want to speak with her about? She remained silent.

He continued, "I spoke with a lot of teachers, and they told me that the shooters seemed to be less about random shooting and more focused on finding one specific child."

She finished the thought, "And the name they were calling out was Leyla."

This startled him. "Did you talk to some teachers, too?"

"No, but I spoke with Leyla. She heard it."

"How was she taking it?"

"The same way she reacted to her mother attacking her. She was almost emotionless, maybe shellshocked. I didn't get a chance to speak with her for very long. Her grandmother showed up and shut me down. I recommended again that Leyla get therapy. She told me her church would handle it. Do you think they're Christian Scientists?"

"No. The church that Rachel mentioned was non-denominational. Churches of Christ, Scientist are usually clearly named."

"Did you ask the teachers how many Leylas attend that school?"

He nodded. "Just the one."

"Gunmen went into a school looking for one specific little girl whose mother had just tried to kill her."

Chris nodded. "It seems so."

"Have you heard anything about the second shooter?"

"He escaped through a back door into the woods. There's a police manhunt."

Evelyn watched the streaks spreading back and forth across the glass in front of her and thought that Chris needed to replace his windshield wipers. How could he see to drive?

"What do we do about it?" He asked.

For a second, she thought he was talking about the wipers and then realized she had never spoken. "Nothing. I'm sure the police will follow that lead and figure everything out. That's not our job."

"I think it is."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I just think we need to do something."

"Like what?" She tried and failed to keep the frustration out of her voice.

"I don't know."

That answer didn't help. There was so much wrong in the world around her. Good people were getting killed, and children were being targeted, and there was nothing she could do. And here was this neophyte in his first week on the job, demanding that she do something!

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just a little wound up, I guess."

She looked over and saw him leaning forward in his seat. Nothing about his posture showed anything but tension. Once again, she was so self-involved that she didn't think of anyone else. With no experience and it being his third day, he was thrust into one of the most horrific scenarios imaginable. She was barely coping. She didn't know how he was keeping it together.

She took a deep breath. "This is an extreme situation for your first week. How are you holding up?"

"I feel like a rubber band stretched to the point that it's about to snap. If I were alone in this, I'd be non-functional."

Her first thought was that he was feeling supported by her, but then she understood that he was talking about his faith.

"I'm glad you have that."

"Me, too."

His sentence seemed incomplete. She let it lie. She didn't want to give him an opening to start preaching at her. She didn't need that right now. She was saved by his pulling off I-65 and into the Metrocenter area. The CTC was minutes away.

The parking lot at the CTC was fuller than usual. There were two Metro squad cars backed in next to the front entrance, one in the handicapped spot. As they stepped in through the rear employee's entrance, they were surrounded by intense quiet. There were no sounds of conversation, only a soft backdrop of whispers and some sniffles from silent tears.

Evelyn recognized the atmosphere of the repressed emotions of the day flooding in. People would be calling out sick the next day, not from weakness but from the effects of the extreme stress on their bodies. It was usually gastrointestinal, but sometimes it manifested as migraines or even flu-like symptoms. The symptoms were real and would take a day or two to pass. Although she felt physically okay now, she might be on the list. It could hit at any time.

Chris's head turned toward the sound of crying, and he followed it into one of the cubicles.

Two police officers were standing in the front lobby. One of them saw her and called out down the corridor. "Excuse me! Are you the social worker who works with John Toland?" His use of the present tense made a lump in her throat.

She remained silent as the pair walked up to her and was finally able to force the words out. "Yes. I am."

"Have you heard anything about his condition?"

"I just came from the hospital. I didn't hear for certain but it didn't seem good."

The one who had spoken nodded. "Thank you." Both officers turned away and left through the front door.

Amanda's voice came down the hall from behind her. "Evelyn, can I see you for a moment?"

After Evelyn crossed into Amanda's office, the older woman closed the door. "What's the update on Officer Toland?"

How many times was Evelyn going to have to say it? "I think he died."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I only spoke with him once during the interviews, but from your reports, he seemed like a good man."

How does someone decide that from reports? Evelyn kept silent and nodded.

"The company is sending over a therapist tomorrow, and I recommend you book some time with her. Do you know Angie Graham?"

"I've met her once or twice. I don't really know her."

"She's good. Please pass the word that everyone should spend time with her in the next few days."

Evelyn didn't understand how to pass the word, but that wasn't something you said to the boss. "Sure thing. There's something I would like to speak with you about."

"What's that?"

"Both Chris and I heard that the shooters today were calling out for Leyla..."

Amanda immediately interrupted, "That's part of the police investigation."

"I know. But I would like to check with them and make sure that they are investigating it."

"No. That's outside of our mandate. It would be overstepping."

"I'd just like to ask the question."

"No. We've all had a very difficult day, especially you, and on top of your last few days. Take a few hours of paid leave. Get some rest. Everyone who was at the school is going to have to go to the police headquarters and fill out forms tomorrow. I'll see you in the morning."