Blast Off Journaling

The glory of journaling while in a space station

Ten, nine, eight ... my jaw tightens.

Seven, six, five ... I can feel my hands getting sweaty under the massive gloves I'm wearing.

Four, three, two ... my heart starts beating a bit faster.

One would think that after all this time, after all these trips to the space station, my hands, my jaw, my body would not react at all. But truth be told, it all still thrills me. My head, my heart, and my body still react with the same emotions as if I were on my first trip into outer space.

Interestingly, as a young girl, I never aspired to visit outer space. That was a guy thing. It makes me laugh just thinking about mentioning such a desire to my parents, who had very strong opinions about what girls could and could not do.

For one, a girl could not play the saxophone, which is what I wanted to attempt learning in fourth grade. "That's not an instrument for girls," said mom. "How about inviting some friends over and we could start a sewing bee that meets once a week," she proposed.

I did take up her suggestion and managed to wrangle together five nine-year old girls who wanted to learn to sew. As if sewing could replace the music I was hoping to create with a saxophone.

Nevertheless, after six weeks, we each had produced a hand-made apron. The apron even had a pocket! We proudly put on our aprons, wrapped them around our waists and managed to tie neat bows at our backs, sight unseen. We celebrated this womanly achievement with mom's delicious peanut butter cookies and milk.

Yes, rocketing into outer space, let alone living on a platform there for several months wasn't even a germ of an idea for a pre-pubescent female learning to sew. Besides learning to play the sax, I wanted to write stories, which seemed to be acceptable to my parents - as long as I became a teacher as well. After all, who could argue about the acceptability of the revered Jane Austin, or the Bronte sisters?

Indeed, the closest I ever got to outer space was watching Captain Video and his Video Rangers in black and white on our tiny Motorola television. I even sent away for a Captain Video belt adorned with a spaceship buckle. It glowed in the dark ... the plastic belt, not the buckle.

"T minus 1. Main engine start, and we have liftoff!" comes the faceless voice off the coast of Florida.
Here we go! Sometimes the G force still takes my breath away. The ship's launch is powerful, indeed, with an abundance of shaking and vibrating. For me, the sensation is like a powerful wave pushing me forward. During my first launch experience I actually passed out for what seemed like hours but were actually mere seconds.

But during those seconds, a multitude of ideas swirled within me. They were ideas I never even thought of while earthbound. And the best part? When my eyelids snapped back to attention, I remembered each and every idea - an achievement I had always longed for: to remember ideas upon waking that I conjured during unconscious sleep.

I was driven to write them all down. Of course, as an experienced and well-trained astronaut, I don't lose consciousness any more during liftoff. But the shake, rattle and roll still stimulates my imagination with endless ideas that beg to be written.

Writing during the long hours of inactivity on the space station - following all the checks and rechecks and physical workouts - became the most fruitful, bountiful, and creative times of my life. It is now my favorite place to write entries into my journal.

It's so quiet up here. And peaceful. No sounds of engines revving, doors slamming, leaf blowers, or lawn mowers. No sounds of sirens, doorbells, no cars driving by blaring music. There is no tension or fear of being late for a meeting, there is no road rage, or endless detours.

There is a special peace being so close to heaven, watching our busy earth slowly rotate, and countless stars gleaming or winking at me. There is wonder in meteors passing by. There is fascination in watching airplanes flying so far beneath us and curiosity about where people are going to or coming from.

Seeing the Aurora Borealis is spectacular. The Northern Lights from our vantage point is truly incredible, especially when they approach and surround us. We are actually in the lights themselves. There is nothing like it.

Yes, there is an abundance of ideas for expression up here. It is my favorite place to add to my journal.