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2,653 Public Reviews Given
4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review of The Pianist  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Very smooth read.
You set this scene up very well, with the piano and the pianist.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
I'd like to 'hear' more of this music!
Expanding on this~maybe add a stanza that touches on the sounds from the piano and/or more on how the notes make you feel.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!

Reviewed by
tammy
127
127
Review of Day Of Fear  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title fits well.

Very sad poem on a very sad incident that rocked the whole world.
It's a tribute for you to dedicate this poem to that day.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
I think you should rate this ASR...for the general content on violence that it holds.

Add some genres, they help your item get more exposure.
Death, murder, emotional would work.

A little confusing in places.
Work on the punctuation throughout.
You have a comma after almost every line and it is not needed in most of those places. Maybe remove some of those and add periods where needed to end some of these thoughts. They can make for a choppy read.

ex
Walking the halls
Listening for a clue,
The ring of your locker slamming shut
Or the soft thud of your shoes, echoing all around,
I sit and I wait, watching for you ,
try
Walking the halls,
Listening for a clue,
The ring of your locker slamming shut
Or the soft thud of your shoes.
I sit and wait watching for you,

I see your smile, so bright against the pain,
try
I see your smile bright against the pain

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
tammy
128
128
Review of What I am  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.

I loved your poem.
The ending is so good.

I like how you are using shapes to define people.
Very creative.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre, I think philosophy would be good.

Maybe a too neat and precise
A little confusing, maybe cut the a.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
Tammy
129
129
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering
Rising Stars Shining Brighter  (E)
Contest for existing Rising Stars...Monthly award of "Shining Star" status.
#1215871 by Tornado Day
and good luck.

*Star*Overall Impressions:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

In writing a piece like this I think one has to be careful and not push their ideas onto others (which is part of your message too.) I think you have got your points across with out trying to convince your readers that your way is the only way.
Good job with that!

I think you make some very good points in this.
I agree with you on the majority of them.
I do believe that being silent tends to be what is taught.
I have taking some college courses and I can see in the younger kids..right out of high school...not all of them have their own opinions...or the voice to share them if they do have them.

I like the message that you include in this.
Thanks for sharing.

*Star*Suggestions
I din't notice any typos or errors.

*Star*Keep writing!
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130
130
Review of The Star Sign...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
I like your use of the zodiac signs to tell your story.
Very creative way to do this.

You rating, title and genres are good.

Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your repetition of filler words (the, and, that)m it can be distracting for the readers and stump the flow/read of the poem.
(especially the)

This line is a little confusing, it may be due to the punctuation...
The care shame and pain, and lonely sentiment
try
The care, shame, pain and lonely sentiment
or cut the care maybe
The shame, pain, and lonely sentiment

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.

Keep writing!
Reviewed by
Tammy
131
131
Review of The Window  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Your story has a poetic feel to it.
I love the comparisons you show and the feelings that you allow your readers to feel as they are reading this.

Anyone who has had a breakup or divorce will identify with this.

Suggestions/Errors:
Para six, sentence two is an incomplete sentence.
I think you have it for emphasizes but maybe use semi-cpolons or something for the proper grammar.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.

Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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132
132
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
IMPRESSIONS:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Beautiful tribute to your friend.
Sorry for your loss.

What a strong friendship you two had!
Everyone needs a 'best' friend.

Suggestions:
I stumbled on these two lines:
So He called to His Angel and gave her her wings,
And she placed her hand into His Glove.
try
He called to His Angel and gave her wings,
As she placed her hand into His Glove.
Or something that is a bit more smoother.

Work on the repetition of she that you have throughout....get rid of some of them if you can to break the repetition.

Keep writing, Tammy
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133
133
Review of Beautiful Girls  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
In a perfect world, this would be true.
And this is how it should be.

I wish everyone could get past the external and get to know others for their internal ways, thoughts, feelings etc.

I like how you show a setting like this to get the big message across.
Your message is good and it comes over strong.

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
In lines four and five I would re-word that to get rid of the repetition of make.

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
134
134
Review of Path Not Taken  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Your rhyme pattern works well and helps with the overall flow of this.

You show well how you have owned up to accepted your choices in life.
It's not always easy to do this.

I like the part in stanza three where you show yourself pleading with pride.
Great concept.

I like these lines, they are very strong.
'As pain builds
Over the ground it spills
Like careless destruction'


*Star*Keep writing.

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135
135
Review of Danté Ridgemar  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for entering my contest
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~
and good luck.
Your title, rating and genres are good.

You do this very well.
I think it would be hard to have all the lines start with the same letter.
You do it without it being forced.

I love stanza two with all the names you have in it.

Keep writing.
Tammy
136
136
Review of Night Watch  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are appropriate.
Your poem flows well and your rhymes work good together.

favorite part:
'Mind and body tuned to a daze,
winter tendrils creeping to the bone,
slowly passing the weary phase,
I no longer feel as if I am alone,'

Love your ending about having a reason to care.

Suggestions/Errors:
Change your static item from other to poetry.

Add some genres, they help your items get exposure.
Relationship, love, drama or experience would work.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by,
Tammy
137
137
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Overall Impressions:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

Very pretty image you have for this.
I love the color you use for this.

Your rhymes work well together.
And your poem flows well.

Unconditional love is hard to find.
This reminds me of my parents and the love I have for my children.

*Smile* Keep writing,
Have a good weekend.
hugs, Tammy

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138
138
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Overall Impressions:
Your title fits well, and who doesn't want to drown in the beauty of nature.
Your rating is appropriate.

Your words flow together well.
The imagery throughout is really good.

I could see nature on this pretty morning.
Even your ending, though sad, is pretty.

*Idea* Suggestions:
Add some genres, they will help your item get exposure.
You could use, family, death, nature, emotional or personal.

*Smile* Keep writing,
Tammy

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139
139
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

Very pretty poem.
Your memories flow well with each one that you share with your readers.
I love the ending and your special guest.
I like that each memory is personal and unique to you/your family.

This makes your readers conjure up ones they have lost.
Thanks for sharing.

Suggestions/Errors:
Instead of having other, I;d change this static item to prose or even poetry...it flows very well and would fit as either one.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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140
140
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
I really enjoyed this trip home.
This brings back all kinds of memories for your readers.
It evokes melancholy, sadness but also strength and freedom.

I love your thoughts on owning it all and leaving the bad memories there.
I think this shows you as mature and strong....not many get to go back home and leave like this.

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Suggestions/Errors:
I did not notice any typos or errors.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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141
141
Review of Drusilla  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres fit well.

I think your twist on this could be funny and entertaining if you expanded a bit on it.

Suggestions/Errors:
I'm not sure this would stand alone...without your reader knowing the Cinderella Story... Maybe add a little background and set this up.

What happens?
You kind of leave your readers hanging at the end.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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142
142
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
GREAT title.
You rating and genres are good.

This reminds me of a relationship that I have been in..

I like the parallel of nature and the relationship that you are showing.
It fits very well.

Very dramatic ending.
I like the tick/tock and the long line afterwards...kind of reminds me of a flat-line with the relationship being dead!

I like stanza two the best~ it flows well and I like the image it shows your readers.


*Star*Keep writing.

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143
143
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Cute poem.
I like the questions you ask, they evoke your readers to remember!!

I like stanza two the best/ the part about a bug in a jar~~haven't we all did that!?

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
In line five should remember be remembered?

I wasn't sure what this was in stanza four?
A B.B.Q.,

*Star*Keep writing.

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144
144
Review of Twisted  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.

You show well how your ex has left you feeling.

my favorite lines;
'Look at all the invisible blood I've bled

I'm not gone my mind has drifted'

Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre~relationship, personal or emotional would work.

I think this would benefit with some punctuation~end some of your thoughts, add some commas for some pauses ~I think it would help the flow and help make your thoughts dramatic and overall I think it would help evoke more emotions.
It could also help with your filler words, like and. Try reading your poetry aloud after writing it to see where pauses are needed and to check the flow of it.
ex;
Harsh words and violent blows

Hidden secrets nobody knows

Eyes are open hands are fisted

Deep inside I'm warped and twisted

try
Harsh words, violent blows

Hidden secrets nobody knows.

Eyes are open, hands are fisted

Deep inside I'm warped and twisted.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by Tammy
145
145
Review of Visitors  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Unique and slightly creepy way of getting inspiration for your writings!
You end this very well~the last two lines are my favorite part of this.

Suggestions/Errors:
You have one period at the very end of this, I'd remove it or go in and add more punctuation where needed.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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146
146
Review of Shadows  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

Your story is believable and well-told.
I wasn't left with any questions.

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres to your story, they help it get more exposure.
Mystery, death and horror would work.

I didn't notice any typos or errors.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by tammy
147
147
Review of Whither My Soul  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your use of punctuation in stanza one is effective for pauses and for making your point.
Your rhymes are good and creative.

I put my parents through some rough times too...and think most do in some way or another.
Which is a bit scary because I now have a teenager and a pre-teen!
;0

I like the role of your mother that you show throughout in this.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You have one question mark in the last line..I'd remove it or add more ending punctuation.

This almost feels unfinished~are you going to add more?

*Star*Keep writing.

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148
148
Review of Snowflake  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Very pretty words and image you show your readers.
Stanza one sets this up well for the readers to see the snow.

I love the use of the writing ML..I think the colors add to your thoughts here.
I like the flow/read of the poem~it's a steady pace throughout.

Your ending is as sweet as the snowflake on the cheek!

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
149
149
Review of For My Son  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

I've been through a divorce and I too left for my kids.
It's always hard to look at a situation through the child's eyes but once you do and can clear up what needs to be done. The things we were putting them through was harmful and unfair.

Your poem is truthful and shows you as being a strong woman..for your son!

Suggestions/Errors:
You have some punctuation a couple of ? and period..I'd go through and add punctuation where needed. Close a few more of your thoughts.

So here we are we have moved on
I think this would be a more effective read if you have a comma after are~which would make for a pause there.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by
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150
150
Review of All That Glitters  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title fits well and your rating is appropriate.
Your subtle message on judging comes through well.

I like that you start this out with a strong quote.
Your story flows well and I like the humor you slide in.

Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre~they help your item get exposure.
Comedy would be good.

Maybe expand just a little and tell your readers where this relationship ends...do you guys date any more or end up being friends or??

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed by Tammy
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