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 |  probably stuff i think is funny. or aggravating. or both. |
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so, i'm watching the westminster dog show, and during commercial breaks we keep hearing from pedigree. if you visit their website (dogsrule.com), you can follow the links to volunteer opportunities--some are in shelters, and some are virtual. i provided the link to the virtual opportunities, because many of them are for writers and web/graphic designers. i know wdc has many talented folks as members, so please take a look, if you have the time and inclination to help out tha critters.  http://dogsrule.volunteermatch.org/opportunities/virtual.jsp?submit=y&radius=vir...  |
| i loves the internets, and what's more, i loves these british protesters: http://deathboy.livejournal.com/1082404.html thanks, deathboy, for making my night!! verrrry hilarious....unless you're a scientologist, perhaps. |
we'll be finishing the first of the guest bedrooms tomorrow, so yay! it's fresh and pretty, clean. pale yellow walls, cherry wood floor tiles, and white trim. i love the smell of paint.  i keep having moments. my mother's dying. while this may seem like a simple, yet heartwrenching situation, like everything else family-related (for everyone), it isn't. but, back to the moments. i'm a little more emotional than normal...well, the emotions are closer to the surface. makes sense, with what's going on. i've had strong urges to stuff my face, with food, mostly, but sometimes to just jam anything in there to keep it all from coming out. pillows, my fist. part of me is afraid to feel anything, and the other part is afraid i can't. so i'm caught in between, as i wait to hear the news i know is coming. we may lose friends, uncles, beloved pets, but losing our mothers is a singular experience. whatever our relationship with our mom, she is still the fundament of who we are, and that we are at all. no way to prepare for this, even if i've been trying to for the past fifteen years. stupid to even try. sorry to be such a downer, but really, where else am i gonna talk about this stuff? "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." gilda radner |
woof. boy, now i know i'm on vacation. i haven't blogged for two days!!  our plan this week: 1. sleep 2. play copious amount of video games into the wee hours 3. paint and lay floor tiles in back bedrooms 4. finish guest bathroom IF we can get all that done, we will officially be molto-supremo asskickers, who kick much ass while said ass is just happy to be getting kicked by the likes of us. oh, and 5. write for p an ode to pepper. (maybe don't ask.  )all of this doesn't even address the wdc things i haven't done....like Acme  's history workshop!! and actual writing, on my own. it's turning into a while since i've been productive like that. must climb back into writer mode, and soon.all right, i've gotten the signal. time to get to work!! where's that frickin' paintbrush? |
| i came upon a story idea today, the sketch of one. a story of betrayal, haunting, remorse, and ultimately a purging of all that and a resultant peace of mind. i haven't worked out all of the plot points yet--let's be honest, i rarely do beforehand--but i know this will be a ghost story, that the betrayal will be neither intentional or avoidable, and that the haunting will be justified, as well. no one's a bad guy, or completely good, either. just like real life. i'm big on emotional truth in my stories. i'm not interested in writing a memoir, but i believe everything we experience in our life is fodder for storytelling, emotionally speaking. my new story idea is true, but i've never seen a ghost (or been one). but betrayal? sure. remorse? oh yeah. resolution? someday, i hope to hoohah. i've had an unsettling few days, news from the family which has rubbed some old scars raw once again, and i'm pimping out my life to my imagination in hopes i'll discover some peace of mind, regardless of whether i deserve it. yes, yes. tears of a clown. i'm a cliche. how else do i reach beyond this wall of self-disgust to the other side? and how can i hope to when she's ill, soon to be dying? broken by her own open wounds, and abandoned by those she both loved and betrayed? the situation seems impossible. the people deserving of amends no longer exist, but they're not dead. my only possible solution is to find peace which i'm not convinced i deserve. so, in my story, i'm opting for truth; which i hope means more, at least to me. honesty is just too . . . real. all right--who wants ice cream??  |
| hallo. i admit, tonight i am torn. i have a new obsession, born the day before yesterday, when i first glimpsed the stark yet highly-detailed world of 'assassin's creed'!! i love this world. set (sort of) in 1191, somewhere in the middle east, you play altair (can't remember his last name but which means 'son of no one' or something like that), a member of a secret brotherhood cult and skilled assassin. their creed? to harm no innocents, to stay low-profile, and something else i can't remember. not important. the important thing is how freaking cool this game is!!!! *pant, pant* anyhoo...i've only just begun playing, and really am no good at it yet, but i can't stop thinking about the game. altair has two sets of actions, one low-profile (normal behavior) and one high-profile (jumping, running, climbing buildings, attacking people--behavior that stands out from the general populace). at work today, granted i was a bit woozy & kittenish, i kept cataloguing my behavior throughout the day. or trying to. would cackling in an unladylike manner be construed as high-profile? dancing a wee jig at thinking of a new book to read? growling at my supervisor after he poked me with his finger in the shoulder? i dunno. but it was fun imagining myself clambering up the support beams and catting across the exposed girders way up above the mortal shoppers....unaware....vulnerable...'beware the judgement of the book assassin!!' in other news, i have decided to devote a solid ten minutes per day to chastising myself firmly for not getting anything done on my fantabulous (in a completely latent-potential kind of way) unfinished novel... rather than work on it, which--i know, i know, you're asking yourself if this wouldn't rather be the simpler path to success--would be productive, fulfilling and completely against my new aimless slacker creed of avoiding all possible avenues of success and achievement. (this is my first attempt at overt reverse self-psychology. think it'll work?) it's almost bedtime, so i'm gonna spend my teeth-brushing time learning how to pickpocket soldiers. yes, it's dangerous, but apparently vital to working my way up the executive assassin career ladder. good day to you. i said, good day!! |
| hi, all. so many wonderful things to pass on: 1. i'm over the hump with this cold! back to work tomorrow, i'll still be coughing and asthmatic for a while, but the worst is gone. yay! 2. my computer's back!!!! yes!! 2 days early!! i'm not a big truster of tech support, but hp really came through this time. they even fixed my wonky 'L' key, which henry had pounced upon a few months ago. no charge! not for any of it.  3. i got my income tax refund yesterday, so we splurged on a....wait for it....playstation 3. oooOOOooooh. it's so shiny. we also got a few games: assassin's creed, motor storm (which came with it), resistance: fall of man, and uncharted:drake's fortune. they all look amazing, and we don't even have an hd tv. woof. 4. super tuesday! i was hoping for results which ended up unrealized in some cases, but really, the race is going well. obama and clinton are close to even, and the remaining states yet to hold primaries are not especially strong states for hillary. so, i'm hopeful. superdelegates, y'all!! get crackin', obama. i'm curious about what's going on with the republicans, what effect huckabee's gonna have on the voting, whether romney's gonna continue. all very eenteresting. either way, i do believe the democratic nominee will be a strong contender, will be able to defeat whichever republican nominee he/she faces. um, otherwise, i'm just plain relieved to have most everything back to normal. p and i are taking a week of vacation from work next week, to pound out some work on the house, and then we start looking for an agent to help us sell it. all very surreal and foreign to me...the whole process. now, to catch up on erverything wdc, and get going myself on this darned novel editing. whooee!! |
| does sick blogging count? it's kind of like drunk blogging...i have little to no control over my fingers and eyeballs, everything's spinning, i'm positive i'll discover aches tomorrow i'm not aware of now (cold medicine)....and whooeeee, am i hot!! no? i'm not hot? aw. see, fever sets me askew about these things. so, this is gonna be short. (readers all release sigh of relief) tomorrow's super tuesday, feb 5th, wherein 22 states around the country hold their primary elections. if yer in one of them, go vote!!! y'all know who i'm voting for (obama! ), but even more important to me is that as many people as possible get involved in the process. how can representational voting happen if half the voters stay home?? feh.all right, that's all i gotta say about that. (go vote, and drag a friend with you. make them vote, too.) hope all is good with everyone, and hopefully tomorrow i'll be back to my 'normal' peppy self. |
| one thing that was not ordinary about today: the wdc elf struck again!!! and they brought wisdom: "Take time to enjoy the small things. Don't stress out over things or people you can't change. Just take a deep breath, and work right through it. Then come here to WDC, and tell us how we can help." such good friends, so smart. everything elfie said is true, and i believe worth posting. hey, everybody-- take it easy, eh? master the art of the LOUNGE. have a great night, all! |
| you know, today was pretty darned ordinary. i worked, came home, smooched on p and the puppies (kitteh's too dignified for that sort of behavior), and then caught up a little on wdc. i still owe a few reviews to different people, and i am determined to honor Acme 's history writing workshop, even if i'm so late it's ridiculous. today, i got a response from one of the online publishers i submitted stories to last october! it wasn't an acceptance, but it also wasn't a rejection, so i'm happy. the site (http://www.sniplits.com) is just getting started up, and they're behind on submissions--so they sent out emails apologizing for the delay, and asking writers to hang in there. so, that was nice. my heart went pitterpat when i read the subject line, which was exciting.i started another book this week, 'black magic woman' by justin gustainis (isbn:1-84416-541-8). brand new, and this author's first book, it's getting really good! i'm on p.93, so far, and the further i read the better it gets. if you like dark supernatural sf with a dash of humor and a great descriptive style, give it a looksee. i first checked it out because jim butcher endorsed it on the front cover. ugh. i've had so much diet coke with lime tonight my teeth feel fuzzy. or my tongue does.  wooooo, caffeine!!!! (sing like bb king)have a good night, y'all! |
| top o' the evenin' to ye! i am so far behind on stuff. everything except the blog! the biggest news for me today is: i've been highlighted by the fabulous Talent Pond ("Invalid Item"  ) this month!! woohoo!!! i'm so happy!! thank you for nominating me, whoever you are. and thanks to Brooklyn  for running the show. lessee...otherwise, we spent $400 on my car today. sheesh. brakes and belts and an oil change. well, it lasted 8 years before...should be good now for another 10-20. my computer is scheduled to be back in tucson next friday!! oh, i can't wait! i will hold it and squeeze it and love it and pet it and scold it and hug it..... ...i miss getting up on saturday mornings to watch three hours of unadulterated cartoons. cartoons tinged with smartass rabbits, and dundering wabbit hunters, wagnerian opera adaptations and galoot dragons breathing fire when they sneezed. *sigh* i used to think real life was like that, back then. do you remember that scene from 'the fisher king', in the subway station? everyone's walking along, bustling to their rush hour destinations, when smoothly and almost imperceptably they swing into a grand waltz, not speaking or looking at each other, that same empty expression on their faces, but their feet sweeping across the floor of the station in time with the blue danube...love that scene. terry gilliam with his surreal imagery. anyway, i have little daydreams sometimes, sorta like that. not always elaborate dance productions. sometimes i just see total strangers hug, or begin to thumb wrestle. or a screaming child suddenly discovers the humor of the situation and giggles instead. sometimes i walk outside, look up at the roof of the shopping center, and see ninjas creeping along the edge, poised to swoop down and engage in some serious shopping. have i mentioned i miss my computer? (beads of sweat gather on my upper lip, eyes bugging out just a bit) all right, well. have a good night, y'all. i'm off to watch the pilot episode of 'twin peaks'!! (bought the special edition boxed set today!!!! *gurgle*) |
| *pant pant pant*.......so, we picked up a yard sign today from the obama office in town. the last one. people had been coveting it all day, but i'd reserved it, so i breezed in and talked briefly with the nice lady sitting at the front desk. she made it to the rally in phoenix wednesday, and said it was amazing. her face lit up, and i wished even more i could have gone. once in a lifetime experience, you know? ah, well. i got the yard sign. so we raced home, planted it outside in the most efficacious spot for traffic visibility....and it looks tiny. it doesn't match the size of the feelings inside me. and it's close to the ground. which doesn't seem right, somehow. well, he is of a grassroots organization... ...but we decided to tape it up on the side of our house tomorrow. the side facing a busy street. we may even spraypaint the side of the house, too. no, i'm not kidding. why do you ask?  so, that's my day. hope you guys are all good, and writing like the mad geniuses i know you are. |
| yep, i'm just twiddling my thumbs....waiting for my poor sick laptop to reach its destination, be prised apart and then fiddled with until it begins working again. *sigh* fwap fwap fwap....(the sound of my thumbs smacking against each other and the tabletop)...i'm a forceful thumb twiddler. only 7-9 days to wait....i read this horrifying short story ('the people of sand and slag') in an anthology entitled 'wastelands'. p pointed it out to me. (that'll learn me. )set in the far future, people had evolved to the point of subsisting on hard minerals found in the sand covering everything (at that point). tiny worms had been introduced to their digestive systems, which processed the silt to nutritive value. we also had developed the ability to regrow limbs, and freedom from pain sensation. the technology and science was expensive, so our species deliberately allowed other animals to fall extinct, leaving only us behind in our self-absorbed state. we'd lost the ability for compassion, since very few people died anymore, and injury did us no harm. people would slice into their own flesh for entertainment and adornment purposes, even. then, out of the blue, a dog appears. a small crew of young soldiers guarding a huge slag heap pick up movement on their sensors, which is odd because almost every sentient being at that point has cloaking technology, so they storm out to track it down and kill it. they find this feral mutt, radiation burns covering its body, scars. they have trouble identifying it, but do, eventually, after forcing it into a cage (consequently breaking a few bones). they don't understand its injuries, or its pain. they see no value to keeping it alive, except curiosity. it bites one of them, but cannot swallow his flesh because of contamination. they do keep it long enough for it to heal, feeding it special food they pay for. they train it to 'shake' hands, and it sleeps with them in bed, offering up its loyalty and friendship. then, on vacation at the beach, it catches itself in some razor wire, slashing itself up, breaking more bones in its struggle, and they debate what to do. they end up eating it on a spit. of course. why do i read these things???? harrowing, yes. a disturbing view of what we might become, sure. apathetic dog-eaters?? aw, man. *sniff* so this got me to thinking about werewolves. i might even say, the 'plight of the werewolves'. the beast inside, an easy metaphor. but comforting in that the werewolf myth at least brings us closer to our furry friends, instead of turning us into selfish, bored, amoral monsters. werewolves kill a lot of stuff, but only some of the time...and how aware of their actions are they, really? running on instinct? do we blame cheetahs for eating pronghorns? or whatever those bouncy deer-type things are? i think not. i mean, we can't just have man-eating predators roaming around, so we relocate them or kill them. but like the best parenting, we don't act out of anger. so, back to werewolves. werewolves are innocent of their affliction, and most (in stories) do their best to fight the descent into pure animal urges, only giving in after having held off the transformation as long as possible. and then they give in to the deliciousness of the hunt, the rending of flesh, the hot blood staining fur and fang....it's the best of both worlds, right? werewolves are human (noble, self-sacrificing) and they're beast (revelling in those fabulous base urges we deny ourselves). this is all obvious, i know. i like the beginning of a good brainstorm, tho. i sense a story coming on.... |
| okay, if you like monster movies, you have GOT to see 'cloverfield'. seriously. we saw this the other night, and i cannot get it out of my head. it's in there, lodged like a piece of meat between my teeth, except much tastier. MAN, what a great flick!!!! i'm not gonna pretend it explores deep issues, although a bit of existentialism may have crept in there, but this movie takes you in there. you live it, right along with the small group of feckless heroes doing their best against terrifying odds and beasties. the first few moments of the attack are like nothing i've seen before, in filming style and overall effect....with the adrenaline surging through my body, my eyeballs all tingly, the one thought repeating in my head (other than, 'oh shit oh shit oh shit') was, 'i wanna be able to write like THIS. i want people to feel like i do right now when they read my stories.' but for rampant, fast-moving, horrifying-in-a-giddy-&-hilarious-way kinda fun: check this movie out. on the big screen!! don't wait to watch it on your piddly 32-inch. it deserves better than that. good god. a few of my favorite quotes from the movie: "Beth McIntyre: [sees monster] What is that? Hud: I don't know. Something Terrible. [while trying to get to a flight of stairs, Rob encounters a parasite and kills it] Beth McIntyre: Oh my God! What is that? Hud: I don't know! Something different! Something also terrible!" and: "Hud: Do you guys remember a couple years ago when some guy would light homeless people on fire in the subways? Rob Hawkins: Now is not the best time. Hud: I was just thinking about how scary it would be if a flaming homeless guy came out of the dark right now! Marlena Diamond: Shut Up! Lily Ford: Shut Up!" okay, good enough. go see it!!! oh, and do you remember that banana cream pie i made a few weeks ago? yyyeah. it kinda ended up vanilla soup with banana slices floating in it in a pie crust. i don't know what happened, as i followed the recipe to the LETTER....i guess i'm just not meant to make pie.  *sigh* but it was gross. i'm kinda turned off banana pie now...picturing those mottled brown chunks bumper boating against each other in the watery muck....*spew*....ack.in case you're wondering how i'm 'on', when my computer's still broken....i dunno. it's the damnedest thing. some nights, the connection comes through. i have no illusions about the amount of control i have over this gadget, so i've backed up my novel on a disc, and am shipping my beloved lappy off to the factory for fixin'. they said it'll take up to 9 days. DAYS!! *sigh* i'll be around, popping in as i can on p's pc...but i expect i'll get a lot of reading done. miss me? i miss you guys!! |
| these are the sounds i make when i want to curse, but am out in public, or standing next to a nun... yeah. my computer's still freaking messed up. i gotta send it away for service!! 8-10 days, they say!!! arrrgh. just so you all know....i'm not up to full YYYEAHH!! capacity. thppt. hope yer saturdays are going all right...*sniff* |
| hi, everybody!! i'm back!! the nice computer company sent us a replacement wifi card and all is right with the world. well, okay, to be honest, all may not be right with the world, but inside my lil laptop things are pretty darned cool. now, all i've got to do is catch up on....everything. yeek. i've got a lot of emails fermenting in my inbox; i apologize to everyone who was nice enough to send me mail and hasn't heard back. i've got a workshop i'm woefully behind on, and my last week of academy class which has frittered away to a frightening level of non-activity. so, i've been thinking a bit about music. i used to love music, and i still do have a visceral reaction to some of it. my tastes have both mellowed and polarized, so the music i like is across a broad spectrum, but the music i LOVE falls into a narrow category. what i use it for, mainly, is to evoke a mood. maybe this is normal? i use it to set a tone, to bring out an emotion, to help me get into the mindset i'm aiming for in a story i'm writing. here's an example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=me8aQA0VlI8 i listened to this song while thinking up an idea for a "Terrace Assignments and Entries" [E] assignment. the story eventually resulting was "Invalid Item" . if you haven't read it, it's about a woman who murders her newborn child for a chance to dance with the devil. other songs that set a mood for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkU5-PJY6B8 "...wanna chase you 'round the table, wanna touch your head" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUlgN__Jrxk "you're a microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan..." hee. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsHKoJM8uv8 awesome flash movie to match http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd_8m241vYg "...where the fuck is that waitress at with my drinks?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5o5UmeKJ3s "tell me everything or not but don't ever tell me to stop." right on, sister. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wod092NnBg "say what you want" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkuOAY-S6OY zack drops the f-bomb a few dozen times in righteous fury. (fist in the air) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jym-RtHHG0s "don't believe the hype" (both fists in the air) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzaFGMQRBfs "...i'm gonna shake 'em down let it flow like a mud slide..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78eQbwe3-9o ignore the goofy jon cryer movie inserts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd60nI4sa9A nothing like a lost soul and his guitar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI delightful! i crack up every time. it might be the shoulder rolls...  oh, man...i could go on all night....what songs get you going? send me clips!! |
| hi, everyone. my computer's on the ole fritzola right now. of course, the timing is just PERFECT  , but then i guess, when is it ever the right time? *SIGH*hopefully, i'll get the help i need to figure it out soon--one of my friends is computer-minded. (i'm more bean dip-minded ). till then, i apologize to the people i'm neglecting, and i miss hanging out with you guys!! *sniff* be back asap!! |
| my lovah, p, sent me barack obama's atlanta speech today: "Barack Obama's full remarks in Atlanta this morning. Know hope: 'The Scripture tells us that when Joshua and the Israelites arrived at the gates of Jericho, they could not enter. The walls of the city were too steep for any one person to climb; too strong to be taken down with brute force. And so they sat for days, unable to pass on through. But God had a plan for his people. He told them to stand together and march together around the city, and on the seventh day he told them that when they heard the sound of the ram’s horn, they should speak with one voice. And at the chosen hour, when the horn sounded and a chorus of voices cried out together, the mighty walls of Jericho came tumbling down. There are many lessons to take from this passage, just as there are many lessons to take from this day, just as there are many memories that fill the space of this church. As I was thinking about which ones we need to remember at this hour, my mind went back to the very beginning of the modern Civil Rights Era. Because before Memphis and the mountaintop; before the bridge in Selma and the march on Washington; before Birmingham and the beatings; the fire hoses and the loss of those four little girls; before there was King the icon and his magnificent dream, there was King the young preacher and a people who found themselves suffering under the yolk of oppression. And on the eve of the bus boycotts in Montgomery, at a time when many were still doubtful about the possibilities of change, a time when those in the black community mistrusted themselves, and at times mistrusted each other, King inspired with words not of anger, but of an urgency that still speaks to us today: “Unity is the great need of the hour” is what King said. Unity is how we shall overcome. What Dr. King understood is that if just one person chose to walk instead of ride the bus, those walls of oppression would not be moved. But maybe if a few more walked, the foundation might start to shake. If a few more women were willing to do what Rosa Parks had done, maybe the cracks would start to show. If teenagers took freedom rides from North to South, maybe a few bricks would come loose. Maybe if white folks marched because they had come to understand that their freedom too was at stake in the impending battle, the wall would begin to sway. And if enough Americans were awakened to the injustice; if they joined together, North and South, rich and poor, Christian and Jew, then perhaps that wall would come tumbling down, and justice would flow like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream. Unity is the great need of the hour – the great need of this hour. Not because it sounds pleasant or because it makes us feel good, but because it’s the only way we can overcome the essential deficit that exists in this country. I’m not talking about a budget deficit. I’m not talking about a trade deficit. I’m not talking about a deficit of good ideas or new plans. I’m talking about a moral deficit. I’m talking about an empathy deficit. I’m taking about an inability to recognize ourselves in one another; to understand that we are our brother’s keeper; we are our sister’s keeper; that, in the words of Dr. King, we are all tied together in a single garment of destiny. We have an empathy deficit when we’re still sending our children down corridors of shame – schools in the forgotten corners of America where the color of your skin still affects the content of your education. We have a deficit when CEOs are making more in ten minutes than some workers make in ten months; when families lose their homes so that lenders make a profit; when mothers can’t afford a doctor when their children get sick. We have a deficit in this country when there is Scooter Libby justice for some and Jena justice for others; when our children see nooses hanging from a schoolyard tree today, in the present, in the twenty-first century. We have a deficit when homeless veterans sleep on the streets of our cities; when innocents are slaughtered in the deserts of Darfur; when young Americans serve tour after tour of duty in a war that should’ve never been authorized and never been waged. And we have a deficit when it takes a breach in our levees to reveal a breach in our compassion; when it takes a terrible storm to reveal the hungry that God calls on us to feed; the sick He calls on us to care for; the least of these He commands that we treat as our own. So we have a deficit to close. We have walls – barriers to justice and equality – that must come down. And to do this, we know that unity is the great need of this hour. Unfortunately, all too often when we talk about unity in this country, we’ve come to believe that it can be purchased on the cheap. We’ve come to believe that racial reconciliation can come easily – that it’s just a matter of a few ignorant people trapped in the prejudices of the past, and that if the demagogues and those who exploit our racial divisions will simply go away, then all our problems would be solved. All too often, we seek to ignore the profound institutional barriers that stand in the way of ensuring opportunity for all children, or decent jobs for all people, or health care for those who are sick. We long for unity, but are unwilling to pay the price. But of course, true unity cannot be so easily won. It starts with a change in attitudes – a broadening of our minds, and a broadening of our hearts. It’s not easy to stand in somebody else’s shoes. It’s not easy to see past our differences. We’ve all encountered this in our own lives. But what makes it even more difficult is that we have a politics in this country that seeks to drive us apart – that puts up walls between us. We are told that those who differ from us on a few things are different from us on all things; that our problems are the fault of those who don’t think like us or look like us or come from where we do. The welfare queen is taking our tax money. The immigrant is taking our jobs. The believer condemns the non-believer as immoral, and the non-believer chides the believer as intolerant. For most of this country’s history, we in the African American community have been at the receiving end of man’s inhumanity to man. And all of us understand intimately the insidious role that race still sometimes plays – on the job, in the schools, in our health care system and in our criminal justice system. And yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that none of our hands are entirely clean. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll acknowledge that our own community has not always been true to King’s vision of a beloved community. We have scorned our gay brothers and sisters instead of embracing them. The scourge of anti-Semitism has, at times, revealed itself in our community. For too long, some of us have seen immigrants as competitors for jobs instead of companions in the fight for opportunity. Every day, our politics fuels and exploits this kind of division across all races and regions; across gender and party. It is played out on television. It is sensationalized by the media. And last week, it even crept into the campaign for President, with charges and counter-charges that served to obscure the issues instead of illuminating the critical choices we face as a nation. So let us say that on this day of all days, each of us carries with us the task of changing our hearts and minds. The division, the stereotypes, the scapegoating, the ease with which we blame our plight on others – all of this distracts us from the common challenges we face – war and poverty; injustice and inequality. We can no longer afford to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down. We can no longer afford to traffic in lies or fear or hate. It is the poison that we must purge from our politics; the wall that we must tear down before the hour grows too late. Because if Dr. King could love his jailor; if he could call on the faithful who once sat where you do to forgive those who set dogs and fire hoses upon them, then surely we can look past what divides us in our time, and bind up our wounds, and erase the empathy deficit that exists in our hearts. But if changing our hearts and minds is the first critical step, we cannot stop there. It is not enough to bemoan the plight of poor children in this country and remain unwilling to push our elected officials to provide the resources to fix our schools. It is not enough to decry the disparities of health care and yet allow the insurance companies and the drug companies to block much-needed reforms. It is not enough for us to abhor the costs of a misguided war, and yet allow ourselves to be driven by a politics of fear that sees the threat of attack as way to scare up votes instead of a call to come together around a common effort. The Scripture tells us that we are judged not just by word, but by deed. And if we are to truly bring about the unity that is so crucial in this time, we must find it within ourselves to act on what we know; to understand that living up to this country’s ideals and its possibilities will require great effort and resources; sacrifice and stamina. And that is what is at stake in the great political debate we are having today. The changes that are needed are not just a matter of tinkering at the edges, and they will not come if politicians simply tell us what we want to hear. All of us will be called upon to make some sacrifice. None of us will be exempt from responsibility. We will have to fight to fix our schools, but we will also have to challenge ourselves to be better parents. We will have to confront the biases in our criminal justice system, but we will also have to acknowledge the deep-seated violence that still resides in our own communities and marshal the will to break its grip. That is how we will bring about the change we seek. That is how Dr. King led this country through the wilderness. He did it with words – words that he spoke not just to the children of slaves, but the children of slave owners. Words that inspired not just black but also white; not just the Christian but the Jew; not just the Southerner but also the Northerner. He led with words, but he also led with deeds. He also led by example. He led by marching and going to jail and suffering threats and being away from his family. He led by taking a stand against a war, knowing full well that it would diminish his popularity. He led by challenging our economic structures, understanding that it would cause discomfort. Dr. King understood that unity cannot be won on the cheap; that we would have to earn it through great effort and determination. That is the unity – the hard-earned unity – that we need right now. It is that effort, and that determination, that can transform blind optimism into hope – the hope to imagine, and work for, and fight for what seemed impossible before. The stories that give me such hope don’t happen in the spotlight. They don’t happen on the presidential stage. They happen in the quiet corners of our lives. They happen in the moments we least expect. Let me give you an example of one of those stories. There is a young, 23-year-old white woman named Ashley Baia who organizes for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She’s been working to organize a mostly African American community since the beginning of this campaign, and the other day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there. And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that’s when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom. She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat. She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too. So Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they’re supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who’s been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he’s there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, “I am here because of Ashley.” By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children. But it is where we begin. It is why the walls in that room began to crack and shake. And if they can shake in that room, they can shake in Atlanta. And if they can shake in Atlanta, they can shake in Georgia. And if they can shake in Georgia, they can shake all across America. And if enough of our voices join together; we can bring those walls tumbling down. The walls of Jericho can finally come tumbling down. That is our hope – but only if we pray together, and work together, and march together. Brothers and sisters, we cannot walk alone. In the struggle for peace and justice, we cannot walk alone. In the struggle for opportunity and equality, we cannot walk alone In the struggle to heal this nation and repair this world, we cannot walk alone. So I ask you to walk with me, and march with me, and join your voice with mine, and together we will sing the song that tears down the walls that divide us, and lift up an America that is truly indivisible, with liberty, and justice, for all. May God bless the memory of the great pastor of this church, and may God bless the United States of America.'" i haven't ever felt this way about a politician. some people may dismiss obama, pooh-poohing his inspirational speechifying. they may say he's not outlining his plan for change, in these speeches. i would say they're missing the point. the first step to creating true change is to connect with others. we know how difficult reaching that kind of connection is, especially nowadays, after decades of cynicism felt toward our government and authority in general. we've had good reason not to trust those in power, having watched them reveal over and over their true motives for seeking power. so few want to work to benefit the greater good, but i honestly believe obama does. i believe he has known discrimination firsthand, has worked hard outside the spotlight of celebrity to help those around him live better lives. i believe he campaigns for the highest office in the nation not out of rampant ego gratification, but out of a desire to make our country a better place to live, to make us a power for good in the world. i've been trying not to let myself hope too much, fearful of the heartbreak i'd suffer if these long-neglected wishes for the world i live in were defeated one more time, after having been a sad-hearted cynic for so many years. but i understand that sort of fear will never make anything worthwhile happen. sitting back and watching with my hands to my mouth will only result in a loss of heart and a sluggish soul. i have to stop caring whether people think i'm silly and naive for believing in obama's dream, because it's my dream, too. it's the dream of millions of people, whether they dare to hope in earnest. let's all stop giving in before the battle is even met, i say. let's stand up for what's right, and good, and true. so the first step is connecting with enough people willing to make an effort for this shift in the country to happen. the second step is the plan, and if you visit obama's website, i think you'll understand he has one: http://www.barackobama.com/index.php thanks so much for tolerating my political spouting--i know listening to someone else's excitement for something you may not think much about can be off-putting. i hope everyone's having a great day, full of strawberry poptarts (the kind without the icing). |
| this place is insidious...it really is. i keep reaffirming my commitment to writing, to improving, to editing, to finally finishing something i can be proud to start contacting publishers/agents with....and yet, i keep finding....myself......distracted. distracted by fun stuff in the outside world, by fatigue and sore feet and sleepy eyes, by books i wanna read, and yes, by wdc activities. most wdc contests and campfires are beneficial--i've written a few of my favorite stories prompted by contests. so i don't begrudge them. anything to keep me writing, right? the blog is good, too; more for me than anyone else, i think. keeps me barely disciplined, enough to write something down every day besides grocery lists and merchandising display ideas at work. a couple of weeks ago, though, i was approached to instruct for the A-1 Academy. you guys know this. i was flattered, and intrigued, but ultimately declined because i knew. i knew that this would be a potentially HUGE distraction from my larger goals. even though i only clock maybe 1-2 hours a week working on this stuff (editing lessons, posting and communicating with my 2 students, reading and commenting on assignments, reading articles on the genre i 'teach', because i don't know what the hell i'm doing), having the responsibility leads me to neglect my creative aspects. i knew it would. i declined the permanent position, but accepted on an interim basis with the understanding i would only facilitate the course until a replacement was found. well, it's been two weeks, and unfortunately i have not been replaced. so, what are my options? * i could abandon the course, the administrators, and the two students. * i could reaffirm the deadline for finding a replacement (which i've already done... ), and walk away regardless of the course's status at that time.* i could stay and teach the course through the term. none of these options appeal to me, either from guilt and a bad taste in the mouth, or resentment and a bad taste in the mouth. either way, i got a bad taste in my mouth. so, i'll be pondering and deciding this weekend...as i read and grade the current assignments. i would like to emphasize that i'm sympathetic to the Academy administrators and the work they're trying to accomplish, as well as the students i'm currently working with. both are excellent writers, and i'd be happy to continue offering them feedback after i leave the class, if they desire. i just don't want to slip through the cracks, and end up spending my valuable brain energy on this distraction. also, i'm essentially selfish. i surely don't mind helping out, but not at the expense of my own goals, and it's coming to that. *sigh* anyhoo, more whining from your favorite overgrown kid. i'll figure it out, i know. worst-case scenario: i walk away, alienating some very nice people, and losing the respect of my fellow wdc writers. no one dies, or loses a foot. i'll do my best to avoid any of that, but it always helps to add some perspective. have a great saturday night, y'all. |
| can't blog now....eating chips. *nom nom nom* here, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phpu9oYyRjk&eurl=http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_ove... pure happy!!! best part is about 32-33 seconds in, when the puppeh lunges at the camera in perfect sync with the music. woohoo!!! i may be back in a bit, if i run out of chips... |
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