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 |  probably stuff i think is funny. or aggravating. or both. |
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| hi, everyone. i'm reading this book, choosing civility:the twenty-five rules of considerate conduct, by pm forni. i like much of what he says. here's a quote: "A greeting is a minimal yet meaningful conferrel of honor on a person just for being a person." how simple! how easy, to take a moment, a flick of the gaze and flicker of smile, to communicate respect and basic well-wishes to another soul. how much more pleasant would our days be, if everyone conveyed this level of consideration. after i read this passage, i began taking notice of how strangers around me greet one another. sadly, most avoid any form of contact. if you can manage a quick meeting of the eye, you may be able to slip in a smile, or nod. no guarantee of receiving a reciprocal response, though. older folks are generally more open to neighbourly acknowledgements, and they'll smile when a young whippersnapper like me instigates such a thing. they seem genuinely pleased. young men seem most likely to ignore any attempt at a friendly passing, perhaps taking such a gesture as a cramp to their style, or a sad come-on from a frumpy middle-aged woman. neither would lend them much street cred, i guess. young women seem to fall on either end of the spectrum. i received the highest number of positive responses from women overall, but many young women come across as excessively self-absorbed, assuming others would naturally notice and smile at them. sheesh. you ain't all that, honey.  to me, the question is, how will we relate to each other even on a superficial level, when most of us seem to prefer not relating to others at all? interesting book. i highly recommend the read. |
| another eenteresting website, dedicated to showcasing the short story. and they take submissions! http://www.short-stories.co.uk/ |
| today we get the new AC system installed. the doggies are at the kennel, the furniture's moved all outta whack to make space, and i'm a few minutes away from the shower and work. hubby's staying home to watch over the installation. the cat's not too freaked out...yet. the old system is over 20 years old, crapped out last week. and last night it started leaking all over the adjoining bathroom, so it looks like we timed this right. you may be wondering why someone would need AC in september. well, we live in the desert. nights get down to the 60s, which is loverly. but the days are still hitting the 90s. stinky when there's no airflow. when i get home after work, we'll be but mere hours from fresh, invigorating, high-efficiency conditioned air. ahhh!!! we shall bask in the waves of crisp frosty airflakes as they settle around us in our undies. we shall shiver with joy, my friends!! joy, i tell you!! have a good day, y'all.  |
| what is today? wednesday? jeez. i told ramona i'd start blogging every day, regardless of whether i have anything to talk about, so send all yer complaints her way, y'all. i give up responsibility for quality control around here. i was thinking today about how feeling good about how you look can make such a difference in your day. no matter what you've got on your plate (barring a bone marrow transplant, perhaps), feeling confident just makes everything a bit more fun. ironically, and i haven't figured this out yet, while i did feel a little better about my outfit today, i felt more defensive than usual about myself. so, hm. i go through my days with a thin film of guilt covering me, for all the different ways i haven't reached my potential in my life--yes, i grew up a perfectionist, and haven't completely escaped that pall. i've relaxed a LOT, but it's still there, that insidious voice behind my ear. i'm perfectly okay, but i'm not perfect. gives me something to aim for, but keeps me from trying so many different things, too. the catch is, the only way to get past this is to try those new things i keep myself from....gotta push that cloying, pillowed envelope, open up my breathing space. room to move. okay, so what do i get pierced first, y'all??  |
| i was talking with sully about the writing habit. developing a regular habit, regardless of how many words, or whether it's a daily habit, or weekly, whatever. i have a hard time writing anything substantial during the week, and on weekends, i spend my time relaxing. if i'm going to get anywhere, develop my skills to the point of being published, i gotta make it more of a priority. or, i need to decide what i want. dabbling is fine, as an end in itself. nothing wrong with that. i've always wanted more, or so i thought. maybe i'm not as ambitious now. or, maybe i am. i have lots of fantasies, but what am i willing to do to get there? good question. |
| endless compliments always cheer me up! http://ourstereo.com/compliment/ |
| hi, all. i wrote this story back in july for a workshop which has just completed--please take a lil read when you have a chance. i'd appreciate your thoughts, your feedback--i'm happy with it, and not only because it's one of the few stories i wrote in one sitting. i never do that! 
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| oh, bloggy blog, why for do you lie there like roadkill? you so unhelpful, you leave all the work to me. and after all i've given you. *sigh* a friend of mine kinda forced me to admit i'm a writer a couple of months ago. i've always hemmed & hawed my way around that particular label...mostly for embarrassment. who am i to declare myself as anything? well, as anything besides a prison guard's son? (singsong) goooofyyyy. but i've finally decided the sobriquet fits, and i've gotta wear it like that fancy french sweater i keep in the back of my closet. not so much because i'm outputting more than i have in the past, or because i'm getting published. (i'm not. yet.) more because i acknowledge my brain works like a writer's. i'm an observer, of people, of my environment, of ideas...i like to watch.  even more, i like to understand. and i like to tell the story. there are few highs as heady as knowing the stories i write grab people, make them wanna keep reading. so, i admit it. i'm hooked. and i'll say whatever i have to to keep that feeling going. now, back to the action! |
| do you ever just lose track of the days? i used to have the mind for details...i'd remember random phone numbers i'd come across, social security numbers for a few hundred employees, which night and channel my favorite show was on. but lately, wow. i forget which day it is. which day i made potato salad, and how long has it been sitting in the fridge? (smells okay) which day i washed my feet this week. (  okay, that one might just be mine.)but, it's spooky, and not in the 'woohoo-it's-halloween' kinda way. more the 'do-i-have-early-onset-alzheimer's?' kinda way. jeesh. funny thing, i still remember stuff at work. titles, authors, which shelf to go to, that customer's name from last week (garcia  )...so it can't be that bad. maybe i'm just losing gray matter i don't use, like they say. i really haven't ever put much effort into thinking. it's just so hard. or i could just be getting....older. *sigh*who here thinks it's alzheimer's??? hands in the air, please. one...two.... |
everybody knows halloween is my most favoritest holiday of the year--and now the fabulous Acme  has gone & just done it!!you gotta check this out:
must go to work, will be back later to *gurgle* properly. woohoo!!!!! |
| i've never said i have character. i don't think. okay, i probably did. i bet it was a statement of intent, like, 'i'm gonna go get me some character someday.' like that. well, i've done something. not something terrible. but certainly not something i'm proud of. so, i wonder if i could get some help. i came across a new WDCer a few weeks ago. a very nice girl, who knows a friend of mine, who actually steered her my way here at WDC. i promised her a meaty review of her short story, and haven't gotten to it yet. those who know me know this is fairly common laurie behavior. i plan to get to that review this weekend dammit, but the guilt from pushing her off keeps building.....i had the urge to dip into confessional the other day over it. life is busy for everyone, i know. i got no excuse. here's where you guys come in. would you please visit her port, give her a read or two, maybe send a few comments? i know she'd appreciate the reads, and would love any comments you'd feel compelled to leave. even if they're along the lines of 'laurie's a lazy ho-bag'. (bow to your partner....and allemande left! )ahem. don't know why i thought that was so funny. yyyyeah...i need some sleep. long week. feels like murphy's hanging out in my house, messing with my bidness. will explain later. okay, here's a link or two: morrningstarr
thanks, y'all. you're good people. |
| i talked a little about magic yesterday. i was talking about the magic in writing, but today, i have a different magic to talk about. yesterday was my eleventh anniversary with my company. i've worked in several capacities for this organization, and have learned from each. i've learned from my coworkers, too, many of which have become friends. one became my husband. well, today, they conspired to give me a gift to commemorate my milestone. the gift itself was fun, and silly--perfect for me--and was thoughtful. what struck me most was their willingness to play the game, hiding it from me, distracting me with unnecessary questions in a different area of the building in order to set it all up. several people pitched in, and for that i feel real gratitude. the gift of being seen, of being on their minds when out of sight, that's the magic i felt today. i feel appreciated, and that makes all the difference.  |
| if you could model your writing career after any one particular author, whose path would you like to follow? (besides stephen king. everybody'd like to have stephen king's publishing career.) in the wee hours, when you fantasize about bucking the odds, gaining a massive readership, and becoming a published author several times over, which author out there right now do you identify with most? their writing style, genre, persona, jacket covers...the whole schmear. i like to see myself as an alice hoffman, maybe. or a jim butcher. i like very much how they blend aspects of different genres into their writing, though the respective results are fairly different. i'd love to weave a spell with my writing, like alice does, but don't have real confidence in my ability to do that. i think i can tell a story, and be convincingly funny and serious. i don't have aspirations (or the desire) to conquer the literary world...too many people seem to takes themselves too seriously. i believe in the transcendent qualities of great literature, but i think stories which affect people on a spiritual level are much fewer and farther between than some authors would have us believe. but then, every story has a little magic in it. each time we experience that connection with someone reading what we write, when they see into our heads and hearts and understand what we're trying to say....well, that's a magic all its own. maybe that's all i want. a little magic. |
| day four sans blogging...i guess i needed a break. before i start, let me assure you guys i'm not nuts. i'm not depressed, not clinically, but i am feeling a bit blue. maybe some of it is a comedown from the excitement of our new addition to the house (yay, henry!). but i think more of it is a shift in my attention from home--which is great right now--to work--which ain't so great. i've been with my company for eleven years, on sept 10th. i've held some positions of responsibility, i've avoided others, but i've always tried my best. i've always cared. i'm competent, intelligent, fair-minded, compassionate, knowledgeable in my field, and good with people, whether i'm supervising them or waiting on them. but lately i've been feeling invisible. i still work hard, do my best to get the job done regardless of what extra effort i need to pull off for that to happen, but i've noticed a definite shift in my coworkers, peers and otherwise. i'm not respected. not anymore. maybe i've jumped the shark. maybe i had a finite window of opportunity to either promote up out of the store, or jump ship altogether. i'd jump ship, but i don't have the opportunity. so i've been slogging along, doing my job, trying not to taint others with my malaise...but going to work is getting harder. the problems i see there are systemic, beyond my control to change. and others seem less interested in contributing to the whole and more in 'what's mine'. i've been to school, a few times, and haven't found any solutions there. i can't stomach the idea of working for a 'straight' organization, in an office, wearing the power suit. free-lancing would give me ulcers. so, what do i do? i've gotten advice ranging from convincing myself i love my job, to applying everywhere and seeing what sticks, regardless of whether i want the job or not. neither seems right. i understand the importance of perspective on the subjective experience, but at some point reality butts back in, regardless of how many early-morning peptalks you give yourself. i've tried targeted applying, but even the organizations i'm eminently qualified to work for gave me no response. after they assufred me they were looking to hire. after i checked back, only to be brushed off. do i give up? is my fantasy of being happy just that? i know i'm fortunate in many ways, and that other people might be ecstatic to be in my shoes. that doesn't keep me from wanting my life to be better. anyhoo, tonight was a whiny blabfest. thanks for reading along with my treatise of ennui. next, i compose a theme song. |
| i'm so goofy with lack of sleep! i keep starting different activities around the house and forgetting about them...until i find them later. i've started this entry two other times. no brainy brain. and i'm back to work today!! i've had the last five days off, gloriously off....and well, you guys know the rest. gotta pull it together. food might help. okay, i'll go eat something. what a freakin' useless blog entry!! i got the pity look from a couple of friends the other night, because they'd attempted to read my blog a few times & just didn't come back. they like more substance in their entertainment. they're new yorkers. well, originally. but you can't take the new yawk outta the goil. september's already blown for blue blogging, so i'm gonna concentrate on getting the story going again. my god, are you sick of hearing about this story?? i kniw i am. less talk, more scribble. i hope you all have a good day, with frolicking and cupcakes aplenty. |
| finally, i've managed to upload some pics...i make no promises for their quality, but i had fabulous models. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** henry giving us the coy face. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** daisy plotting to get her pillow back. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** henry curling up for a nap. (guess daisy's plan worked.) ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** calcutta totally uninvolved...on her perpetual search for tasty snack treats. now i just need to find some oj pics... |
| you guys, i'm truly happy. my life is perfect! we brought little henry home today, and introduced him to daisy. there was much barking and tail wagging and freaking out, but right now, they're both sacked out on the floor, about two feet from each other. they've made tentative efforts at playing, and had a snarl or two between them...it's been wonderful. what's even more amazing is henry and calcutta. my cat. i wanted to make sure he knew about her, because she spent the afternoon on top of the tv in the bedroom, and didn't want him to be surprised when she emerged later. but, later on, she strolls out, stops dead at the sight of him, and just stares. stares at him for a solid hour, from different vantage points, and he took little to no notice. he saw her, but didn't care. i'm thinking, maybe he doesn't realize she's another critter? but a little while later, they're standing nose to nose, licking each other. like they were already friends. incredible!!! i'm sure there'll be setbacks over the next few weeks, with squabbles and toy stealing. but my heart just swells thinking about my clan. mine mine mine. also, P said something wonderful yesterday, something upon which hearing i vibrated at a higher, silvery frequency. i had no words. still don't. but i'm high, you guys. high on love, on a good life. i am a lucky girl, indeed. okay, i'll stop gushing now. i know you guys are stunned at me looking on the bright side. i hope everyone out there is safe and happy and loved, and knows it. peace of mind like this is priceless. |
| we found him!!! we found the perfect puppy to make our home complete--daisy will have a fun buddy, calcutta will have another dog to lord over, and we'll have another male in the house. P's been outnumbered for a while, now. the new guy is an australian herding dog mix (with what, we don't know--any guesses, you guys?). he's already agreed to handle the humping issue. we're picking him up tomorrow, after his neuterizing, and bringing him home to meet the clan. i'm so excited!!!!! nervous, but excited!!!!! here's a link to a photo: http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=9128020# the humane society named him something goofy like 'd'artagnan'...we're thinking 'henry'. we'll see how he feels about it. we're feeling a bit of poignancy, too, since our beloved OJ just died last december...this feels like we're moving one more step away from him. but i do believe he'd be happy to know we were giving a great life to another shelter dog, like him. P said he felt an 'OJ vibe' with henry. i take that as a very good sign. henry will never take OJ's place...those paws are too big for any pooch to fit. i bet henry will be a blast, though. and really good for daisy, and us. |
| omigod! i almost forgot to blog today. that's just how tired i am. i haven't anything to report on my writing book, or for that matter, my writing...haven't written a lick for over a week. it seems so long ago....i can almost see the slezaks hunkered down behind the prehistoric ferns back there with it. they're kinda wrinkling the pages with their costume claws. as of seven hours ago, i've been on vacation!!! i'll be away from work (but not you lovely people) until next tuesday. so, almost a week. yay!! maybe i'll get back in the groove, writing-wise. i've been watching season three of 'house', and obsessing a bit about doing something seemingly innocuous but which will land me in the hospital for its unforeseen consequences...by chewing my fingernails, i'll unknowingly ingest the microscopic larvae of a voracious louse, which will gestate in my intestine, then hatch and eat all the cilia, leaving me unable to digest food...i'll eat and eat, whatever my heart desires, but will slowly waste away to a petite size 4. then, the parasite will drop dead and pass harmlessly through my digestive tract, having been unable to procreate due to the amount of lsd stored in my fat cells (from various psychotropic experiments performed many, many, many years ago) having affected its tiny hermaphroditic sex drive as it was released throughout my system due to my body cannibalizing itself. i'll emerge slender, miraculously cured, and with a fabulously gross story for cocktail parties. i've already got my dress all picked out. |
| you ever just forget what day it is? my schedule's all off, and i keep thinking it's later in the week than it is. and i have to figure out how to make myself fall asleep in two and a half hours. arrgh. what a weird week. not bad, just weird. "Away she hurried, not beautiful, not supremely brilliant, but filled with something that took the place of both qualities -- something best described as a profound vivacity, a continual and sincere response to all that she encountered in her path through life." -EM Forster what a great sentence. i'd like to be this woman, not brilliant, not beautiful--because really, i am neither of these--but filled with a profound vivacity. wow. to see the world as new each day, and invite each new experience as i'd greet a new friend...i'd have achieved greatness, i think. a girl can dream, eh? |
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