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26
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Review of A Writer's Prayer  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! What a wonderful prayer and such a compliment to know you read and took my Newsletter to heart! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* I can't tell you how much that means to me! *Heart* I also love the Poet's Note. Of course, it's nice that I'm mentioned. *Blush* *Bigsmile* But also, I just love to know extra stuff about the items I read, so that's always fun. I see not only the form, but the inspiration. *Delight*

My only comment is that I think "your" (mentioned twice) should probably be capitalized since it's referencing God, but you might not have done that on purpose for some reason.

Anyway, thank you for sharing! What a wonderful poem and I love to see your love of God. *Pray* *Heart* *Pray*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
27
27
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to WdC! It's great to see you getting started so soon after joining. *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

I found your story on Read & Review. (That's on the left side of the computer screen--you can earn extra GPs --gift points, the WdC version of money by reviewing items you find there.)

Remember that I'm not a professional reviewer. I'm simply another member of WdC. Take the comments I make with a grain of salt. Use what you find useful and ignore the rest. *Wink* It's your writing, so you know what's best for it.

Since you're new, I'll also be talking about WdC some in this review. *Bigsmile*

You don't need the quotation marks around your title. You also don't need the beginning quotation marks you have in the description. Good thing you forgot the ending ones. *Laugh*

Great job including all 3 genres! *Delight* There are people who have been here for years who still don't do that all the time. *FacePalm* Including all 3 genres is really important for a number of reasons.
1. The #1 way people search for things to read here is by genre.
2. Moderators write Newsletters here. They are required to include stories from other people. How do they find those? By searching, often for genres since we have several genre Newsletters. And even those that aren't about a specific genre, that edition might be about a specific genre, so they'll still search it.
3. We have an award, uh, thing (used to be a ceremony, but it was too much work, so now it's just awards handed out) called "The QuillsOpen in new Window.. Items are nominated for categories like Best Flash Fiction, Best Nonfiction Short, etc. After an item is nominated, it is automatically put into the genre categories the author added. But no matter HOW OBVIOUS the genre is, if it's not listed by the author, the item isn't included in that category. So, even if it's a bit of a stretch, it's better to include a genre than to not include all 3. Though there are some that you shouldn't use much, if at all. Contest shouldn't be used unless you really created a contest that you plan on people entering and you'll be judging. Contest Entry shouldn't be used much, if at all, because it's not a genre people search for and it's not a genre category for "The QuillsOpen in new Window.. If you REALLY want to remember that you wrote it for a contest, perhaps include that statement at the top of your item, along with a link to the contest, or at least a sentence saying which contest you entered. Activity is another you should only use if you actually created an activity for people to participate in such as a challenge. But even if you did, it's not wrong to not include Activity as a genre if you have 3 others that do fit well. *Wink* Never use Other. It's not a Quills category and no one searches it. I also don't recommend Writing.Com unless you're writing instructions on how to use the site or something like that. *Wink* Anyway, great job choosing 3 useful genres! *Delight*

Okay, to your writing...

Between paragraphs, I'd recommend leaving a blank space (like I do here) to give the eyes a place to rest. Your piece is short, so it's not a huge deal, but if you write longer things, they become too intimidating if there's not any blank space.

"The Philippines finds itself engulfed in the relentless onslaught of heavy rains, floods, and landslides, wreaking havoc and leaving a trail of destruction and tragedy in its wake. Here, we gather the key insights from our search results:" Good use of commas. They can be tricky to master, but you're doing well. *Smile*

"Numerous provinces in the Philippines have borne the brunt of this calamity, with lives lost and thousands of people displaced..." Since most people on WdC aren't from the Philippines nor have most ever even visited (though I have--great place, IMO), I encourage you to give more information about it. How many provinces are there? How many are impacted? How many lives are lost? If it's still ongoing, you can say X lives have been lost as of Y date, but as the rains, floods, and landslides continue, that number could continue to rise--something like that to give us an idea of the scale.

Under "Nature's Perfect Storm," what are "shear lines"? Maybe explain those?

WOW! 20 typhoons or tropical storms a year?!? See? This kind of number/description makes an impact, thus why I encouraged you to include numbers before. For such a small nation, that's a LOT of storms! What about including data on the amount of damaged caused on an average year and maybe also include a really bad year. Since this is a US site, while it's good to describe it in Filipino money, consider also putting it in US dollars so more people can understand it better.

I can see why the Philippines is worried about climate change. What about rising oceans? I assume that's a concern there as well.

"A Trail of Tragedy" needs numbers. If you can find some numbers on the average number of people who die from each thing on an average year or in the last couple of years, list the number, that would improve the impact, I think. I'm especially interested in in deaths from electrocutions. When you say that, I can see it as a thing that could happen, but TBH, it never occurred to me before because I've never seen or heard of anyone dying of electrocution in a flood. *Think* If you can give a better explanation of why this happens, that would be good, too. Does it happen everywhere and it's just not reported or is this something unique to the Philippines' power grid or something?

In "A Widespread Menace," you mention also the loss of livelihoods. Try to find some numbers about the loss to the economy or the number of people who are now out of work or something. Also, I don't think you need "A" and "The" with these titles. I think it reduces their impact, IMO.

"The Shattered Landscape" might be a better place to put how much money this costs in an average year. Also, I don't think you need "The" or "A" on any of these titles.

"A Tectonic Truth" is an AWESOME title! Great work! Maybe include how many earthquakes happen each year.

"In the face of these trials, the spirit of the Filipino people stands strong, resilient, and unwavering. Amidst the challenges that nature hurls their way, they strive to rebuild and renew, drawing strength from the unity that binds them together. As the tempest rages, they continue to stand tall, ready to face whatever tumultuous tides lie ahead." Powerful ending! Excellent job with that! The beginning and ending are really important. The beginning gets people interested in reading and the ending leaves a lasting impression, especially if it's a well-written ending. *Smile*

I know I made quite a few suggestions, but overall, I think this is a really good piece. Yes, there are some things you can do to improve it, but in general, I think it's well done. I like the way you have the information divided up. It's simple and easy to understand. Consider using the Bold tags to make the section headers (or whatever you call them) bold. *Smile* You can highlight them, then click the capital B in the box at the beginning of the row of buttons at the top of your item. That will put bold tags {b} and {/b} at the beginning and end of what you want bolded. It's a quick and easy way to create code. *Wink*

If you haven't already discovered how to edit, click the gear in the upper right corner of your item and I use Quick Edit, myself. Another window will pop up so I can see the old and new together. *Bigsmile* Then I make my changes and scroll down to save them when I'm done. *Smile* There are a lot of older adults on this site, so you can also consider putting this is size 3.5 or 4. To do that, you can click the button with the 3 S's that are gradually getting larger (next to the cursive F, which is where you can choose different fonts, if you care to). When the size buttons appear below the top row of buttons, you can highlight the entire thing (be careful not to accidentally hit something and delete the whole item--if this happens, DO NOT SAVE IT, but just close that edit box and start again), then after you highlight everything, you can choose the font size you want. Then you will discover the beginning of your item will now have {size:4} (or whatever you chose) at the beginning of it and {/size} at the end. *Smile* Just so you can see, here's what some of the font sizes look like.

This is just the normal font. I believe it's size 3.
This is the font size of 3.5. Some people choose this.
This is the font size of 4. This is also a good choice, but it's up to you.

You're not obligated to enlarge the size, but older eyes might appreciate it. *Wink*

Overall, this is a good piece. It can be made better with some more research, which would include numbers, and just adding some finishing touches like spaces between paragraphs. I'm glad I came across this. Nicely done! It can be even better, but you should be proud of what you did.

Thank you for bringing this situation to people's attention. And thank you for sharing your writing! Stay dry and stay safe! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
28
28
Review of Lilac Rose  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Welcome to WdC! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* Great job posting a story so soon after joining...and this might not even be your first. I don't know. It just came up on Read & Review (on the left side of the computer screen where we can earn even more GPs--gift points, the WdC version of money--for reviewing people's items). *Bigsmile*

Remember that I'm not a professional reviewer, so take my thoughts and opinions with a grain of salt. *Wink* Take what you find useful and ignore the rest. *Smile*

I would like to see a better description. Yes, this is a fairy tale, but what's it about? More description might draw in more readers. *Smile* Maybe say "A fairy tale about magic, fairies, and unicorns" or "A fairy tale about how Lilac Rose because Queen of the Fairies" or something like that.

Also, you can advertise on the Newsfeed as well. Granted, when you are new, you don't have many people (if anyone) who has clicked your plus sign to follow you. Note: Double clicking is best when you decide to follow a person because it notifies them that you've become a fan and some people, like me, will reward their fans or even fan you back. If you only click their plus sign once, they aren't notified so you can't get rewarded. *Frown* And to clarify, I'm talking about the plus you see after people's names sometimes such as...
Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author IconMail Icon

Anyway, a few of us get on the Community Newsfeed where you can see what everyone is posting (within your rating limit, of course), regardless of if you have clicked their plus sign or not. *Smile* I highly recommend you get on the Community Newsfeed so you can see more of what's going on beyond your tiny corner of WdC. When you click Newsfeed, it takes you to your Personal Newsfeed by default. Here you will only see official WdC notes as well as things by anyone whose plus you have clicked at least once (but preferably twice). To find the Community Newsfeed, click Newsfeed, then along the top of your Personal Newsfeed, click "View the Community Newsfeed." Then start scrolling. Like, comment, and start making friends. *Smile* It takes time, but as people start noticing you commenting on their notes more and more often, they'll look forward to you and may eventually click your plus. Then you're on your way to having your own following! *Bigsmile*

Anyway, back to your fairy tale... *Angelic* Good job filling in the genres of Fantasy and Children's, but you want to avoid Other. *Pthb* There are several reasons for this. Mostly, Other doesn't do anything for you. *Think* Genres are the #1 way people here search for something to read. Probably no one searches "Other." They're looking for something specific. Try to find another option. *Wink* Along those same lines, we have Newsletters here written by Moderators. Mods are required to include writing from other people in their Newsletters. How do they find other writings? By usually by searching genres...sometimes with a keyword as well. I would encourage you to fill in the keywords, if you didn't do that as well. *Wink* Some keywords you can use would be fairy tale, fairy tales, fairies, fairy, unicorn, unicorns. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure if you need both the plural and the singular when using keywords, but if you have room, use both, I guess, and if you don't have room, don't *Laugh*. You don't need to put "and" before the last one--actually DON'T use "and" or the computer will be confused and will only show your item when someone searches "and unicorns" not just "unicorns." *Pthb* Anyway, choose keywords about specific points or characters or whatever. You can choose other keywords, but these are examples of what I'd put, personally. *Bigsmile* So, if a Moderator was going to write about unicorns in children's literature in a Newsletter, they might find this if you include "unicorn" as a keyword and use Children's as a genre because they might search the Children's genre for the word "unicorn." Or if they are just going to talk about writing fantasy stories, they might find this by searching the genre "Fantasy."

Another reason to include all 3 genres is that we have a competition here called "The QuillsOpen in new Window.. It's an annual award uh...thing (used to be a ceremony, but not starting last year because it's so much work). If a person nominates something for a Quill Award (this would qualify for Best Flash Fiction because of the length, if someone wanted to nominate it), it will automatically be put in the genre categories for Children's and Fantasy. But you'd be missing a chance for a 3rd genre opportunity, thus a 4th chance to win a Quill. You can't nominate for genres. The items automatically go into the genre categories after being nominated for another Quill. But no matter HOW OBVIOUS it is, if a genre isn't listed on the item, the item isn't put in that genre category to win a Quill. *Frown* Always do your best to fill out all 3 genre options. *Bigsmile* Consider maybe Animal or Nature as a 3rd genre. No, they aren't perfect, but they can get you more visibility. *Wink* Some categories to avoid are Contest (unless you created a contest for people to enter), Contest Entry (unless you simply want to remember that you wrote it for a contest, but I think if that's the case, you're better off simply saying so in the item), Activity (unless you created an activity for people to participate in here), and Writing.Com (unless you're writing about WdC, maybe instructions on how to do something or whatever). I recommend avoiding these simply because they aren't categories that you can win a Quill in, in case you are nominated one day. *Wink* (Well, you can win if you list your contest you create as Contest and the same thing with Activity, if you create a challenge or some other activity, because there are Best Contest and Best New Contest, etc. But in general, avoid these genres. *Wink*)

Okay, to your actual item... lol

Good use of commas in your opening sentence.

Lilac Rose is a beautiful name! *InLove2*

Maybe consider including how her parents treated her unkindly. Give us an example or two. Was she made to work all day from sun up to sun down with no food or drink? Did they beat her? Was she put to bed with no dessert when they ate dessert? Show us a little about her life. *Smile*

"The child wandered for days eating the berries from the bushes. She found herself in a totally different world." I'd like some sort of a transition word here. Maybe "Eventually she found herself in a totally different world." It's weird that she ate berries and then she found herself in a totally different world. I don't think it's because of the berries. *Laugh* I'm sure it's from the wandering, but make it more clear for the reader. *Smile*

I'm not sure you need quotation marks around "The Enchanted Forest." Is it something that's titled and talked about in her other world? Even if it is, you can probably still just say it without quotation marks because they suggest that maybe that's the name, but perhaps it's not really enchanted. But we know it is (because I read ahead *Laugh*). *Bigsmile*

"They stared at each other in amazement, then smiled." I like this part. Yes, it's simple, but sweet. *Heart*

"After hearing Lilac Rose’s story of her mean parents and wonderful journey in the forest..." Was Lilac Rose's journey through the forest really wonderful? She was wondering for days and eating berries. I picture her worried and scared. If it was a wonderful journey, show us more of that. Maybe she got to bathe in crystal waters, being clean for the first time in years or perhaps she enjoyed napping among the flowers. Maybe the berries were the first time she'd ever eaten something sweet? What made the journey wonderful? Or remove that word. *Laugh*

You said--Deeper and deeper into the forest they went. Lilac Rose said, “no one in the world could possibly know this beauty exists..." You need to capitalize the N in "No" because it begins a quote from someone.

"As they rounded the curve, Lilac Rose saw the most beautiful creatures she had ever seen in her life." Consider creating a new paragraph here since this is beginning a new idea--the introduction of the unicorns. *Smile*

I'm pretty sure that should have a hyphen as "mid-forehead" when you are describing the unicorns.

I really like how you don't just SAY they are unicorns. You describe them as horses at first and leave the discovery of them being unicorns to a brief moment later. You could extend this out even more by having the horn hidden in some way. Maybe they are facing away from her so she can't see them well? Or perhaps they are among trees so she can't get a good look at them? I don't know, but I think it might be nice to save that surprise for another sentence or two. *Delight*

Sparkle seems more like a girl's name to me, but that's just my opinion. *Laugh* Name your unicorn what you want. *Bigsmile*

"Lilac Rose’s story was repeated once again, and the beautiful creature, whose name was Sparkle, welcomed her into their family of fairies, and yes, unicorns!" You seem to have REALLY mastered commas! Great work! Those are tricky little things that give writers no end to their grief! I'm very impressed with your command of them! Fabulous!

Nice story with a sweet ending. *Smile*

I know I made a lot of suggestions, but remember--these are just my own thoughts. Do what's best for your story. *Smile*

Good luck and welcome to WdC! Thank you for sharing your writing! If you'd like me to re-review this after you've made changes, let me know. *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Meet Me There  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your story with us! This review is only my opinions, so do with them as you see fit. *Wink*

I don't fully get the title and how it fits with the story, unless Joe is running from his pain and has decided to stop, but we don't actually see that in the story, that he was running. Yeah, I should have mentioned that last time. *FacePalm* SORRY!

Great job selecting all 3 genres! *Delight* I'm not sure I fully get the paranormal one, unless she's sort of taken him over, as he's hearing her laugh and seeing his smile, but I'm not convinced that's exactly what happened. This doesn't seem dark and creepy enough for that. *Think*

I like how we start with a stray leaf rolling out of Larry's yard. One could imagine that's symbolic of Sarah. You could amp that up (if you have the space in your word count) by saying something like a "dead leaf" or even a "stray dead leaf" or something much more creative. *Laugh*

I believe you need a comma between "eyes" and "against" in the 2nd paragraph. I think this because if you remove "against my will," the sentence still makes sense. I forget what that's called, but I think if you can remove a part like that, then it means you put a comma on both sides of it. At least, that's what I think the rule is. If you have Grammarly, check with it. *Bigsmile*

If it's only been a week since Sarah died, I'm offended. What's wrong with Larry that he wants Joe to move immediately?? What is that funding for and how badly do they need it? His friend needs time to grieve and when you experience a big loss like that, you're not supposed to move for a year. Shame on Larry! I wonder if he's really looking out for Joe or if he's a selfish jerk. *Think*

I like how Larry doesn't get to finish his word. Great detail! So often people are cut off in the middle of a word in real life, but in stories, we like the tidiness of them finishing the word, and maybe even the sentence, before we "cut them off." Great work here!

I also love the ending with the blackbird nodding and flying away. Wonderful work!

Fabulous work on this story! I can't believe your not a native speaker. You write virtually perfectly. *InLove2* Wonderful story, which is hard to do in such a very short space. Great work! Keep it up! Thank you for letting me read this. *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
30
30
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your contest has really come a long way since it was first created! *Delight* Well done! *InLove2*

You've got a descriptive title, appropriate rating, 3 genres, large enough font for the many older members, clear instructions, and a nice use of color without being overpowering. *Delight* Wonderful work!

This will be my last review because your item is nearly as perfect as I can make it. Everything in this review is now just me being super picky and isn't impacting the rating, obvously. *Bigsmile*

The 1st line bugs me each time I read it. I've tried to ignore it because there were bigger problems and because it's not wrong. But it sounds awkward to me. Though it could simply be a difference between where I'm from and where you're from. *Laugh* You have "We all have misheard..." but for me, I think "We have all misheard..." sounds more natural. *Think* Again, this review is being super picky. *Wink*

Consider centering that line and the one below it since they are at the top, introducing the contest. It's not bad how you have it and it might not look any better with my suggestion. *Think* *Laugh* But I think of those 2 lines like an intro/title of sorts and think I'd like them centered...maybe. Try and see what you think. It might then throw off the next bit that's not. I can't say for sure until I see it. *Angelic*

With the other usages, I agree with you choosing "malapropism," but I feel like when it comes to the definition portion (which is really well done, BTW), you might should use "malaprop" instead. But I'm not sure about the parts of speech here so I could be wrong...and I'm too lazy to look to see. *Blush* *FacePalm* But you're using "mondegreen," not a "mondegreenism," so I think maybe define "malaprop" instead of "malapropism." *Bigsmile* Okay, I did look it up and am still a bit confused about which you "should" use, but I still think it's "malaprop." *Angelic* Also, when reading, the example they used was "Jesus healed the leopards." *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling*

Be sure your comma placement outside the quotation marks in "for all intensive purposes" is correct because it bugs me. *Laugh* It's wrong in American English, but perhaps it's correct for British English. *Angelic* In US English, commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks. But I know in British English, it's not always the case. I think it depends on the usage, if I recall.

Your mondegreen example always amuses me. *Rolling*

Consider putting some spaces after your definition of "mondegreen," before you say which round this is and when entries are due. That part isn't really connected to the part above. *Wink*

So, you'll post prompts at noon WdC time, but they are due at midnight? Cool. Seems simple enough and if you are near WdC time, you're not having to stay up all night just to post the next prompt on time. *Laugh*

Are you sure you want to lock yourself into judging those 2 days? Very few people (if any) post the exact days they'll be judging because things come up and expectations are set. If the can't be met, people are disappointed. If it takes you 4 days to judge and you have these dates posted, people will be unhappy. If you have nothing posted about judging, people won't notice and certainly won't think your judging is "late." *Wink* Things come up. You might not be feeling well. You might win an all expenses paid trip to a foreign country but the dates are July 14-16... *Think* *Laugh* *Bigsmile*

I like that you accept vicarious stories as well. *Smile* That opens up opportunities for folks because we only have so many examples. You could consider a future round, when people have exhausted their real world examples, where people can write fake stories that include them...just a suggestion for a future round. Though I still think you won't be able to get too many rounds out of this if you run it monthly. It's a fun idea, but there are limited entries possible from our lives. *Pthb*

Consider not putting spaces between the sentences where you are talking about how to post the links since all that goes together. *Think* Also, when telling folks where to find the entry ID number, consider "...not at the top of the item for the book as a whole" instead of "...not for the book as a whole." Also, you need a period at the end of this, whether you opt to change it or not. *Laugh* You and your randomly missing periods. *Laugh*

I love that you bolded just the 13+ and not the whole line regarding the rating. I think that's not commonly done, but actually makes the rating stand out more than bolding the whole line. Excellent choice that I hope to remember to suggest for folks in the future. *Bigsmile*

Ohhhh...I FINALLY understand your "Note." I thought I did, but just realized I didn't. *FacePalm* I thought the bit about previously written stuff was just an aside, but no. It's referencing the previous bit about things not needing to be written during the contest timeframe. I thought that 1st part was saying you could write it after, but you could also enter previously written stuff, but if you write it and enter late, it won't be judged. *FacePalm* Yeah, I've read this several times now and JUST understood what you meant. I'd rework that part. *Think*

Maybe just delete that first part about it not needing to be written in the timeframe of the round (since I thought that meant it could also be written after the round *Blush*) and just say "Previously written items are accepted." And you can tighten up the next part by saying, "Late entries are not accepted."

Good job putting the "under 500 words" in bold so people understand that you REALLY mean 499 is the max. *Wink* I love that you are clear about how you'll be checking the word count. *Heart* Consider adding something about author notes, links to your contest, and other parts of the item that aren't the story will not be counted as a part of the word count.

Consider suggesting people link back to your contest and giving them the link for it using the double braces method so they can just copy and paste the link. It might help you get another entry or two if someone reads/reviews someone's entry and are like, "What a fun story." They can also be like, "Oh, it's written for a contest? That's cool. Let me check it out!" *Delight* You never know... *Bigsmile*

Yeah, I know. I'm giving ideas you might want to have incorporated into the 1st revision. *FacePalm* I'm not the best reviewer and am clearly not great at coming up with all the ideas on the first try. *Blush* *Laugh*

A note about the ribbons, the ribbons at the very bottom of the awardicons, the ones that are like a strip of ribbon folded onto each other, those are intended for awareness-type items, not for regular awards. People don't always know that and will award them as a regular awardicon instead of for items that are specifically like a story about breast cancer getting the pink Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon. I know this because not only have I seen it, but in the very beginning, I did it. *FacePalm* It's technically fine, but it's not what those ribbons were originally intended for. The more regular looking award-y ribbons just above them are the ones you should probably use in most cases when handing out awards. *Bigsmile*

Here's another idea that just came to me. *Headbang* (Sorry I can't think of all my ideas on the 1st review. *Blush*) You could post all the previous winners in a dropnote. That might be fun for people to read. Of course, from time to time, a person will delete something and you'll see the blue "invalid item" thing pop up and so you'll need to delete that, but still, since your entries are short and probably regularly funny, it might be a great idea to add. You can post them as a bitem or not. But I wouldn't do a regular item entry, personally, unless you said "written by ____" just because I think it's nice to recognize the writer. Actually, if you did that, tagging the author, even if they delete the item you could just change it to "Deleted item written by Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author Icon." Optionally, you can use the item-type link that includes the author's name--litem. It looks like "The Contest Challenge"  Open in new Window. by Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author Icon . But when the author deletes the item, you have no idea who entered what. Whereas if you post the item and the author separately like "The Contest ChallengeOpen in new Window. by Schnujo NEEDS to do homework, you at least know who won if they delete their tiem.

In my contest, "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for NowOpen in new Window., I post all the people who entered each round (but don't include their entries--didn't occur to me to do that when I 1st got started) and when I declare winners, I put the little gold, silver, and bronze trophies next to the names (you would only use the gold one, of course *TrophyG* = {e:TrophyG}) and HM by them if they get an honorable mention. Naturally, you don't have to do this, but it's what I do. *Wink*

Do you know how to create dropnotes, in case you want to do that to post all entries or to post winners?

{dropnote:"Previous Winners"}
July 2023 Round
FORUM
The Contest Challenge Open in new Window. (13+)
Join by entering a contest a month for 12 months--Win Badges! Catching up is allowed!
#2109126 by Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author IconMail Icon

{/dropnote}

Okay, yeah, my challenge isn't a legit entry. I'm using it for illustrative purposes. *Laugh* Anyway, no pressure to post previous entries or winners. Most contests don't. However, your contest entries are short and I would imagine many are hilarious, so I think it would be fun to include that. *Delight* Also, remember there are different ways to tag folks, if you choose to post their item and their name separately so the winner isn't lost if they delete their item. There are a variety of ways to tag, but the 3 most common are user, suser, and huser. In case you aren't familiar, here they are...

{user:schnujo} = Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author IconMail Icon

{suser:schnujo} = Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author Icon

{huser:schnujo} = Schnujo NEEDS to do homework

Most folks prefer suser for this type of thing (and for most things, though I tend to lean towards huser, but in this, I'd probably do suser as well). But you choose what makes you happy, if you do this at all. *Bigsmile*

This is me being uber picky. *Blush* It bothered me from the start and continues to do so, but I thought it was being too picky and there were so many other things to address in previous reviews, that I left it alone. But it still bothers, me and you have so little to think about changing now, that I'm going to bring it up. *Think*

Your Judges section--I'd prefer either the whole thing be together without spaces between you and the "and" and Empathy or there being a space between "The judges of this contest will be" and you. I prefer them all together without spaces (or so I think without seeing it lol) since they are all part of the same idea, but I'm also okay with the spaces, if it's all spaced out. But as it is, it just bugs me. Yeah, I know. I'm being completely ridiculous. *FacePalm* *Laugh* Well, that's what you get when I review--RIDICULOUS! *Rolling*

The contest page is looking FABULOUS!!! (Despite the really long list of suggestions I made for possible corrections. *Laugh*) You've done a fabulous job with this! *Delight* I love it and am so happy to see it come so far! *Heart* I also appreciate that you take so many of my comments and implement them. *Bigsmile* I hate when I put a LOT of time and effort into a review (as I do with pretty much every one, which is why I hate reviewing so much lol), but then the person doesn't do anything with it. *FacePalm* Granted, if they didn't ask for the review, that's on me. Also, I hate revising things, so if it's not an activity like my contest or challenge, I also don't usually do anything to fix it up, even after a review. *Blush* But still...don't be a Schnujo. *Angelic* *Bigsmile* *Laugh*

Great work on your contest! And I see you have a few entries now as well. YAY! *Party* Fantastic! Good luck and have fun with your entries!!! And remember, if you find anything that you absolutely LOVE, feel free to nominate it for "The QuillsOpen in new Window. through "Quill Nomination Form 2025Open in new Window.. *Smile* Also, consider you and your co-judge (ignore the made up word *Laugh*) doing reviews for the items. Though if you do, I strongly recommend not giving 5 stars to anything or at least not until you've chosen a winner. If you have 2 people who get a 5-star review, but you only choose 1 to be the winner (though you can always have a tie, of course), the other person will question why they didn't win if their item was also 5 stars. Yep, it not only happens, it makes sense. *Wink* So, I tend to give everything 4 1/2 stars (or less) when judging because I can nearly always find SOMETHING wrong. Then I can freely choose the winner from among the 4 1/2 star items. *Wink*

If you decide to review every item, I'd put that on the contest page since people tend to love that. *Wink*

If you are looking for reasons to choose one over another and give it words (because sometimes we know we like something better, but it's hard to say why), you can say things like the title wasn't attention-grabbing, the description wasn't interesting, they didn't include all 3 genres (though they could argue that that's not a legit reason not to choose them as a winner and I would agree, but still, it's a thing you can comment on and give them reasons for why it's important to include all 3 genres--it's the #1 way people search for items to read or review, Mods search for Newsletter items using genres, and you're automatically entered into all the genre categories you list if your item is nominated for "The QuillsOpen in new Window....now back to the reviewing list), parts were confusing, they language was to wordy (things like "He said that he was hungry" instead of "He said he was hungry" though doing that once might not knock a person from the winner's circle, but a lot could), it wasn't clear who was speaking, the descriptions weren't useful to the story (with only 499 words, every bit needs to play a part--even if it's only adding interest), the rating wasn't correct (in your case, they'll probably rate something higher than necessary--again, probably not a reason to not allow them to win), punctuation or spelling is off (but remember British and American English are annoyingly different *Laugh*), etc...meaning I can't think of any more examples. *Laugh*

Okay, now that your eyes are probably bleeding from my excessively long review, I'll let you go. Great work on this contest! It's looking fantastic! *Delight* Good luck getting lots of entries and remember that though not every entry is Quill-worthy, if you find anything that is, it should be nominated for "The QuillsOpen in new Window.. *Bigsmile* (You can click the plus sign in the upper right corner of the item to keep up with it better because it will then appear in your favorites--same with "Quill Nomination Form 2025Open in new Window. or you can just remember the item alias, {item:quills} and {item:quillnominate}. (That 2nd one is singular.) If you can't remember all that, just try to remember {item:quills} because you can find the nomination form on there. *Wink* You'd nominate for Best Flash Fiction. The genres are an automatic thing. We can't nominate something specifically for Best Comedy. And if they don't have Comedy listed as a genre, no matter HOW hilarious it is, it won't win Best Comedy without Comedy being listed in the genres. *Wink*

Okay, really, I'm winding things up now (for like the 3rd or 4th time *Laugh*). Wonderful work on this! Keep it up! Good luck getting lots of great entries!
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Review of Meet Me There  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

I saw your note on the Newsfeed asking for opinions, so while I don't normally review, I thought I would this time. *Bigsmile* Remember that these are only my own opinions. Take the ones you find useful and ignore the rest. *Wink*

First, I want to address the genres. You should always do your best to fill all 3 genres. Though good job not filling this with Contest Entry (or worse, Contest or Activity) or Other. *Smile* Those are all worthless genres to choose. (Well, Contest or Activity aren't, IF this were a contest or an activity, but it's not. *Wink*) But there are several reasons you want to fill out all 3.

1. The most common way for people to search for something to read here is by genre. If you don't have all 3 genres filled out, you could be missing out on 1/3 or, in this case, even 2/3 of your potential readers.

2. Moderators write the Newsletters. (If you haven't checked them out, definitely do.) Each Newsletter contains usually 5-10 items from around the site. How do the Comedy, Romance, Mystery, etc. Newsletter editors find items to include? They search by genre, of course. *Delight* But if you don't have all 3 genres filled out, you're missing a possible chance to be chosen for a Newsletter. *Sob* (Note that for some reason, Newsletters don't tag you when your item is selected. I'm not sure why, but if you don't scan every Newsletter every issue, you might be highlighted in one and not even know. *Pthb*)

3. If someone nominates an item of yours for "The QuillsOpen in new Window., such as in the Best Flash Fiction category, it automatically is nominated for each genre category listed as well. However, no matter HOW OBVIOUS the genres are for an item, if they aren't listed, it doesn't go into that category. So, not only are you missing out on readers and opportunities to be highlighted in Newsletters, but you're missing out on possible Quill Awards. *Shock2* *Sob*

So, fill out those genres as best as you can, even if it's not a perfect match. Something is better than nothing because it still brings in readers, etc. Of course, don't choose something totally unrelated... *Think* Some of my suggestions for this one are Dark, Death, Drama, Relationship, Romance/Love, and Tragedy. Choose what you feel best fits. *Smile*

Okay, now to the actual item. *Bigsmile* In the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs (if you can call them that lol), you use "up" twice. I think it sounds redundant. But it's also not necessary, IMO. If you leave it out of the 2nd one, when you say the bird is on the powerline, we probably assume you are not, so we figure you looked up.

I love rock climbing, but I only do it inside. At first, it was because I don't like spiders, snakes, getting sweaty and dirty, etc. But now it's from the shear danger of it. I lost a cousin (made nation-wide news a few years ago because he was a Green Beret who died when the anchor gave way while he was climbing something called the Army Trail with his BFF, another Green Beret on the 4th of July weekend) and my ex-boyfriend lost his brother. He was supposed to go climbing with him that weekend, but he'd just met a new girl (why we'd broken up...but that's another story *Irritated*) and decided to spend time with her instead of going climbing with his brother. His brother had a tendency to climb without safety gear, but my ex- always made him wear it. He carried a lot of guilt for many years after that. *Cry* Climbing is super fun, but I only climb in gyms where it's (at least somewhat) safer. *FingersCrossed*

I digress...

The ending is intriguing, but also confusing. I don't fully get it. So, Joe is the person in the swing, right? Was he romantically connected to Sarah? That's the feeling I get. But who is Larry? Larry is the owner of the house with the swing? Or the former owner? And he's related to Sarah? A brother, maybe? And how does the house figure into funding? They need to sell the house to get funding? Ohhh...Okay, I'm getting it now. Though rereading it like 5 times didn't do it, but typing it up did. *FacePalm* *Laugh* So, Larry is the next door neighbor and trying to get Joe to move after the death of Sarah, presumably his wife or girlfriend or something, though I suppose she could be an older daughter. They need funding for something and Larry wants Joe to sell his house (not sure what kind of a friend wants his friend to sell his house when he's not selling his own for funding as well...though maybe he is). Joe doesn't want to sell it. Okay, I think that's right. *Bigsmile*

When Joe picks up the phone, you have a comma. That should either be a period or the next line should be with it. Since we don't get to hear the phone ring (a little confusing to me as to who was calling whom, but I know you have limited word availability), so consider...

Her laugh, her smile on my lips.

I picked up the phone, "Hey, Larry, I'm sorry."

Though I think you might be allowed to also do...

Her laugh, her smile on my lips. I picked up the phone, "Hey, Larry, I'm sorry."

Oh, I'd been assuming Larry had called Joe, but I just realized Joe called Larry. *FacePalm* Even the best-written short things can be confusing due to a lack of space. *Headbang* So, if Joe is calling Larry, I'd go with the 2nd option unless someone says that's not allowed. *Bigsmile* Maybe try something like "I grabbed my phone to make the call, 'Hey, Larry, I'm sorry.'" You'll need 2 more words. Deleting one of the times you used "up" will help. You can combine something in the next sentence since it's dialogue. Instead of "We're going to have to get our funding somewhere else," you could say, "We're gonna have to get our funding somewhere else." BAM! Back down to 300 words! *Party* *Laugh*

I love the ending with the blackbird nodding and flying away. *Delight*

I enjoyed this short piece, but as you see, I did find some parts a bit confusing. But for the most part, it's really well done and I enjoyed it. Keep working on this and, if it's for a contest, good luck! *4leaf* It's a nice story that piques my interest in whatever their business venture (I assume) is. I want to know! Did you have something in mind when you wrote this? *Laugh* What were they going to do with the money they need???

Nice story! Keep on writing! You obviously know how to hook a reader into caring for the characters and wanting to know what happens next. *Laugh* Expertly done on that part! *Bigsmile*

If you make some changes and want me to rereview this, let me know. *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Fun Fact: If you forget to clear the rating before you start typing your review, it erases the review you currently have just written. *FacePalm* Lesson learned. *Pthb*

Yeah, I know it's not important and I keep picking apart the back end of the madlib, but hey, this is the level of (low quality) reviewing you get from me. *Laugh* Anyway, for the most part, the back end is now looking great! The only thing I'd suggest is that you have foods as Food1, Food2, Food3, but you have places (or was it things? now I forgot, but I think it's places) as Place1, Place, and Place2. I'd switch that to Place1, Place2, and Place3. *Bigsmile*

How have I NOT noticed all this time that you only have 2 genres?!? *FacePalm* I'm so sorry about my quality of reviewing. *Blush* That's something I normally always comment on. *Headbang* I assume you're aware that it's important to use all 3 because people search most often using Genre. Also, Mods search for a specific genre to use in their Newsletters. And finally, if this were to get nominated for "The QuillsOpen in new Window., it gets automatically entered into the genre categories listed, but it's not nominated for any category that's not listed, no matter HOW obviously it fits in that category. *Sob* There's probably other options, but to me, since it's a madlib, the obvious answer is to put it in the Comedy genre since madlibs are supposed to be funny. *Bigsmile*

It's been a couple of days since I did this, so I didn't remember a lot of it. Them taking "Jerry's junky old horse" literally made me laugh out loud! *Rolling* I'm also amused that Jerry felt uncomfortable that Jules wrote his name on an elm. Are her feelings not reciprocated or is he a tree-hugger and doesn't approve of writing on them? No telling, but I like it! *Laugh*

Wow! It's looking really great! It's virtually impossible to get all of the boxes so every option could fit perfectly, but you've done as near a job as I can figure. Them deciding to go to "the home" sounds like they are going to a nursing home. *Laugh* Oh, well. It still provides humor. Thank you for all your hard work! If you're planning to include an example, I can purposely create one with the answers I found most amusing like being packed like a measuring cup and them riding Jerry's junky old horse. *Laugh*

Yeah, I know it's not important and I keep picking apart the back end of the madlib, but hey, this is the level of (low quality) reviewing you get from me. *Laugh* Anyway, for the most part, the back end is now looking great! The only thing I'd suggest is that you have foods as Food1, Food2, Food3, but you have places (or was it things? now I forgot, but I think it's places) as Place1, Place, and Place2. I'd switch that to Place1, Place2, and Place3. *Bigsmile*

How have I NOT noticed all this time that you only have 2 genres?!? *FacePalm* I'm so sorry about my quality of reviewing. *Blush* That's something I normally always comment on. *Headbang* I assume you're aware that it's important to use all 3 because people search most often using Genre. Also, Mods search for a specific genre to use in their Newsletters. And finally, if this were to get nominated for "The QuillsOpen in new Window., it gets automatically entered into the genre categories listed, but it's not nominated for any category that's not listed, no matter HOW obviously it fits in that category. *Sob* There's probably other options, but to me, since it's a madlib, the obvious answer is to put it in the Comedy genre since madlibs are supposed to be funny. *Bigsmile*

It's been a couple of days since I did this, so I didn't remember a lot of it. Them taking "Jerry's junky old horse" literally made me laugh out loud! *Rolling* I'm also amused that Jerry felt uncomfortable that Jules wrote his name on an elm. Are her feelings not reciprocated or is he a tree-hugger and doesn't approve of writing on them? No telling, but I like it! *Laugh*

Wow! It's looking really great! It's virtually impossible to get all of the boxes so every option could fit perfectly, but you've done as near a job as I can figure. Them deciding to go to "the home" sounds like they are going to a nursing home. *Laugh* Oh, well. It still provides humor. Thank you for all your hard work! You've done a fabulous job here! I've given you 5 stars with the assumption you'll find another genre to include. The back end part is just me seeking perfection. *Wink* You did a wonderful job and worked very hard on this! I suspect my constant reviewing gave you another point to add to your Newsletter--while these are fun, perfecting them can be a PITA. *Rolling* But you've pretty much done it, I think. Wonderful work! And you can breathe easily knowing this is my last review for this item. *Rolling*
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Review of Plot Survey  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I didn't know enough about this, so I called my financial planner to ask questions. *Laugh*

He said you have to make some assumptions and you can make up some information because depending on where they work, different institutions have different rules.

You have to assume they work at a company that is both a brokerage firm and a bank. (I didn't think to ask if there were other options.)

There is, by law a 2-day settlement period for all stocks, so the plan you have with only 2 days to do everything, isn't likely to work well, unless that's how he gets caught, but if he works there, he should know the rules, I would expect. (Yes, I'm assuming it's a guy. *Bigsmile*) But he said there are banks that have up to 7-day holds on money, so it's fine to make the hold time of the checks longer. It's just the rules for that bank. *Wink*

He must have a access to the bank's house account (which all banks have) for all deposits and credits. (Not sure of the difference between a deposit and a credit, exactly, but I can ask tomorrow if you need me to. The credit might be the amount the bank gives you immediately while the deposit is the total amount you will get when the check clears, but I'm not 100% sure on that.)

He said this would work best for large checks where part is withheld and part is made available to the depositor. So, someone deposits a $1000 check, they get $400 immediately, but $600 is held for X amount of time, dependent on the bank. Also, he said there's not a set amount that is withheld or a set amount that triggers a withholding of money.

That above part is important because that's how he's doing this--with the bank's money. Otherwise, the depositors or whatever the name is for the people who are the ones who wrote the check, some would notice the weirdness in their bank account. This "float" money isn't magically in some account that no one sees. If he withdraws money, it's being withdrawn from the person's bank account. Thus, he needs part of the money to be held by the bank in the bank's house account so that the individuals who own the accounts won't notice anything happening in their own account.

The reason for large checks to be held for a certain number of days is to ensure that the check is real and funds are really available to be withdrawn. It typically takes 1 day to do all of this and the check is (theoretically) settled on the next day (but remember that some banks have longer hold times), but the day the check is deposited is Day 0. Day 1 the check is validated and by Day 2, the funds are available.

He recommends: Day 0 = large deposit and money withheld. Day 1 = early in the day, check is validated and he makes stock purchase. The rest of this is my own thoughts based on his comments because I don't want to bother him again on a Sunday. lol Maybe he dumps the stock the same day or if he's not happy with how much it's gone up, maybe he does more on Day 2, then sells by the end of Day 2, if he didn't sell on Day 1. The money is back in the bank's house account, depending on if there is a hold on the money after a large sale--not sure if that's a thing. Sorry, I didn't think to ask that, either. Then Day 3 and Day 4, the stocks are settled. Day 5, everything is back to normal. So, maybe a 5 day hold?

However, if this happens too often, the FCC will likely notice, though he didn't mention this, either. He was busy so it was a quick conversation. Sorry.

I hope some of this helps! Fun idea, but too complicated for my poor brain. *Laugh*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm loving this! It just gets better and better! *InLove2* Great work!

I think this time I only have a few things to suggest a change for and none are really imperative, so fantastic work!

1. When we are choosing words, you have Feeling1, but there's no Feeling2. I'd erase the 1.

2. In that same area, you have Place2, but the other one is just called Place. But you have Thing1 and Food1, so I'd change that first one to Place1 to go with Place2.

3. Are you sure it should be that the kid "gave them stink eye"? I think thought it was "gave them the stink eye." I don't use the term much, but I was sure that was how it was used. I'm too lazy to look it up, though. *Blush* Yeah, I know. That's been there since the very first review. *FacePalm* I notice different things different times. *Angelic* Plus, it's getting so close to perfect, it's easier to see the smaller problems. *Bigsmile*

4. When we pick a verb, it should probably be required to be past tense since the rest of the story is in past tense. *Wink* Mine suddenly changes to present tense for 1 sentence, then back to past. *FacePalm*

5. In the last sentence, I'd change that to "but (Mickey) wished he hadn't eaten..." because "and" indicates that it's a similar thing, however, "but" indicates a different one. His experience was different from Jules. She wouldn't change a thing, but he'd change what he ate. *Wink*

6. Since the foods are plural, the ending should probably be "because they make him" instead of "because it makes him."

7. That last verb, I just realized it does need to be present tense, but it's the same as the previous verb, which needs (IMO) to be past. So, maybe have Verb1-Past-Tense and Same-Verb1-Present-Tense?

It's looking great! And as I get more familiar with it, it's more fun to do because I can plan for better answers. *Bigsmile* I like something being packed like a measuring cup. I think that's a great description! *Delight* And I found my water store to be funny. *Laugh* Taking coconuts on a picnic seemed funny to me as well. *Bigsmile* I also love the change that you made with Jules writing his name on the tree instead of writing him a letter. Good choice and it was a nice surprise to see. *Delight*

Well done! You're really rocking this madlib thing! Though maybe part of your Newsletter might include how hard it can be to find all the various ways the user can mess it up unintentionally and you have to try to dummy-proof it as much as you can. *Rolling* But good luck with that. The Army has been trying to dummy-proof things since the beginning, yet Soldiers always manage to find a way to show the Army that it's impossible to dummy-proof EVERYTHING. *Rolling*

You've got a great piece here! Thanks for sharing and thank you for the MB! *Party* Good luck with this and your Newsletter! *4leaf*
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I back to pick apart your contest again. *Laugh* Remember that these are only my own opinions. Do with them as you see fit.

I love that you've added the word "contest" to the title. I think that was an important change! I've seen things that I didn't click on (back when I was entering contests regularly) because it didn't say "contest" so I didn't know. I thought it was some educational/how-to thing or a challenge or something else, but not a contest. Great change!

Your prizes are still enticing, but reasonable for a twice-a-month contest...and the description matches what the "prizes" section says. Good work.

In your description of malapropism, you have a comma outside the quotation marks in "for all intensive purposes." That's a great example, BTW. I hear that regularly. *FacePalm* Anyway, somewhere I got the idea that you might be British. I used to be somewhat familiar with the British rules on commas, but have now forgotten them. *Think* But in American English, the comma ALWAYS goes inside the quotation marks. I meant to mention this in the last review, but got distracted by who-knows-what. *Think* Anyway, so if you use British English, then maybe the comma is correct...or maybe not. But if you use American English, it's wrong. *Wink*

In the "Current Round" section, I noticed the parentheses before, but just wondered briefly about them and moved on. Now I'm really wondering about them. Why are there parentheses? Why not just say when the submissions are accepted and when they will be judged? I don't see any point in the parentheses. *Confused* Sorry. I know. I'm bringing up brand new things that could have been fixed before. *FacePalm* Well, think of it as this is getting better and better, so I'm no longer being distracted by big errors. *Bigsmile* So, speaking of being nitpicky, there should probably be a colon after "Judging" since you have one after "Current Round" and "Submissions accepted." *Smile*

I just noticed you have the contest ending at 11:59 am. Oh, noon! I didn't expect that! I think only your contest and "The Writer's CrampOpen in new Window. end at noon. You'll likely have some folks who misread that and assume it's 11:59 pm because it's so uncommon. In fact, I misread it at first. I'm currently down in the part about the word count being done by MS Word and realized I should double check the time the entries are due. Yep, I misread that. *FacePalm* Maybe put the "a.m." in italics? Though I'm still sure someone will misread it. But you can't fully dummy-proof anything. Believe me, the Army has tried, yet Soldiers continue to show the Army that such a thing is actually impossible. *Rolling*

In the last paragraph of black before the words turn blue, you say "Write a flash fiction about the most..." This is okay, but I feel like "Write a flash fiction story about the most..." sounds better to me. *Think*

Personally, I would mention that the book entry link is found in the upper right corner of the entry. Too often I see people posting a link to the whole book because they use the book link, not the entry link. But since you told them to use the code for "entry," they now might end up with "Invalid (whatever--I forget what it says)" because they are using the "entry" code, but they are using the book item's link, not the entry's link. Remember, newbies might be entering. And also, I SURPRISING number of non-newbies don't know basic stuff. I have lost count of the people I've taught how to just do a basic item or bitem link even though they've been here 5+ years. Seriously?? I think the oldest was like someone who had been here 16-17 years and didn't know how to link anything. *FacePalm* I'm telling you, your current knowledge is WAY ahead of probably 90% of WdC. *Headbang*

Since you've been using periods, consider one after the max rating sentence and I'd add one after the next sentence about being disqualified for linking wrong. Though I hope you'll let people know if you notice it before judging. Mistakes happen and some people are just not good at it. Did I mention that for "The Contest ChallengeOpen in new Window., I ask people to post a link to the contest forum post where they actually entered the contest to prove they entered? They use {post:#######}. I have an example literally just above the forum. I had a woman who somehow managed to complete 12 consecutive entries, as required by the rules and though I corrected her EVERY SINGLE MONTH and directed her to the examples, in case she needed help, and EVERY SINGLE ENTRY WAS WRONG! Month after month after month...wrong, wrong, wrong. *Shock2* HOW?!? I have NO idea. *Headbang* Luckily for her, I say the challenge is supposed to be entering 12 contests, not posting the proof. *Laugh* Every month, I reexplained it and redirected her to examples, but it made no difference. *FacePalm* What's my point? Aside from saying that there are some, uh, less smart people on here, I'm also saying, "GOOD LUCK!" *Laugh* Though if you are only asking for bitem and entry links, maybe it will be okay. *Bigsmile*

Great job putting in bold that the entries are to be "under 500 words." That helps make sure it's clear that 500 is not acceptable, though it's a common max in other contests. Well done with that clarification!

The prizes seem much more sustainable now! Great work! Though you can bump them up later if you decide to move to a quarterly contest. For that matter, if you decide to run it monthly, you can literally double the prizes and still not spend any more. lol If you later decide to increase the prizes, I'd recommend increasing the GPs instead of the awardicon since no matter the size of the awardicon, it will only count for 1 CR. But a lot of people on here have to earn GPs to pay for their membership, so they'll appreciate more GPs. *Wink* That's my opinion, but if you're unsure, feel free to set up a poll and ask. There's literally a poll thing on here that you can do. *Bigsmile*

Your contest is nearly perfect, IMO. But if you don't make the suggested changes, at this point, I won't be bothered. It's come a long way and is looking great. These changes are pretty nitpicky, I know. *Wink* But that's because you have nothing huge to complain about. Great work on this! *Delight* I do hope you get several entries. If not, don't give up. And remember, if this contest doesn't hit it big, you've learned a lot through the process. Maybe your next idea with be "the one."

Though, also remember that even big-name contests on here don't get tons of entries most of the time. I think "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for NowOpen in new Window. is one of the few contests that got a lot of entries pretty regularly, but that's because I paid for entries. *Angelic* *Bigsmile* Like I said, people use GPs to pay for memberships. *Wink* I have deep pockets...Well, probably not as deep as I like to pretend, but that's a different issue. *Laugh* Anyway, I pay 5k-50k per entry, depending on how much work it requires. If I was running something like this, I'd probably pay 5k for each entry, then have the prizes on top of it. Though I usually pay the same as first prize, so I would probably pay the winner 5k (and an awardicon) instead of 10k. The winner would end up in the same boat since they'd get 5k for entering and 5k for winning whereas you're giving them 10k for winning. But the losers in my contest are happier. *Laugh* I'm not saying to pay for entries, though if you don't get many, it's something to consider, especially if you run this less often.

But just remember that if a contest like "The Writer's CrampOpen in new Window. has rounds with no entries and other contests, even when I highlight them on "The Contest ChallengeOpen in new Window., will sometimes only get a couple of entries, yours isn't likely to get 10 and especially not after you've run it several times back to back. *Think* So, don't get disappointed. Rethink the plan (like paying for entries and/or running it less often or even moving on to another idea) and be happy with how much you've learned through this. You've done a FABULOUS job! Keep it up! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* It's looking great! Good luck! *4leaf*
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey! I finally made it back to rereview this. *Bigsmile* I know. It took me long enough. *FacePalm*

Again, these are just my opinions. Do with them as you wish. *Whistle* *Laugh*

I'm curious as to why you "(2023)" as part of your contest title. *Confused* I'd consider deleting that and trying to squeeze the word "Contest" in there so it's obvious that it's a contest. *Wink* If you need more space, you can delete the "&" and the spaces before and after it and put a forward slash between "malaprops" and "mondegreens." Maybe that will work? I really think you need the word contest in there somehow. Speaking of which, did you list it under Community (on the left side), Contests? If not, definitely do that! *Delight*

Nice work on the genres and rating, though it knocks out my story. *Laugh* My friend has narcolepsy, the illness where you suddenly fall asleep. His roommate, of course, knew and he'd told his girlfriend. The roommate overheard his girlfriend telling one of her friends, "My boyfriend's roommate has necrophilia." (That's the desire to have sex with dead people, in case you didn't know. *Yikes*) You could hear the roommate yell from the other room, "NARCOLEPSY! HE HAS NARCOLEPSY!" *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling*

Anyway, so that's my story that I can't post because it's not 13+, but I wanted to share. *Bigsmile*

Your description says we can win 30k GPs and an awardicon, but the prizes say a 25k awardicon and 10k GPs. *Think* *Laugh* Aside from fixing the differences, consider a 10k awardicon and 10k GPs. I say this because most contests don't even give an awardicon, so no one is not going to enter this contest because the awardicon is "only" a 10k awardicon. *Wink* They both count for CRs, so I think people will be happy with that. Right now, you have the 1st place person getting 35k in prizes. That's not a small amount, especially if you run this twice a month. *Yikes* That's 70k GPs per month...with no honorable mentions. *Scared* Add 1 honorable mention per round and 2 rounds per month, that's 100,000 GPs per month in prizes! *Shock2* Maybe the honorable mention should just get GPs--5k or 10k if you feel a need to be really generous. *Wink* Just my thought... Whatever you do, update the description. *Bigsmile*

Great job with the definitions and examples. They are very clear and that mondegreen example... *Yikes* *Laugh* Yeah, that's definitely memorable! *Laugh*

Good job putting that the deadline is in 2023. I hate when I find a contest and I'm not sure if the upcoming deadline is for this year or not. *FacePalm* Of course, now I know to look in the top part of the item, where it says Modified. If it was last modified a year or more ago, definitely not an active contest. *Wink*

However, for your times, I'd encourage you to put 11:59 pm. 12:00 is confusing and leaves people wondering if you mean lunchtime or midnight. And even if you put am, some people still get confused. Also, you say your deadline is 12:00 (I'm assuming midnight) on the 14th. So, that means that since the 14th starts at midnight after the 13th, the deadline in a normal WdC contest would be listed as July 13th at 11:59 pm. Is that what you meant? I suspect you meant July 14th at 11:59 pm. If so, see how it's confusing and why we use 11:59 pm instead? *Laugh* Wait...Judging starts the 14th, so maybe you really DID mean 11:59 pm on the 13th. Or are you talking about noon, so July 14th at 11:59 am? Just before lunch? Okay, now I'm not even sure when the deadline is. *FacePalm* Or did you REALLY mean midnight at the start of the 14th? In which case you should put it as July 13th at 11:59 pm. Confusing. *RollEyes* *Laugh*

I encourage you to give instructions about linking a book entry as well, since you're explaining how to link a bitem. *Bigsmile* You use {entry:#######} where the entry number is found in the upper right corner of the book entry.

You say the item will be disqualified if the bitem isn't properly linked. But I'd say "b-item or entry"--well, I wouldn't include that rule, personally, but that's because of the AMAZING number of people I've met who don't know how to link items on here. *FacePalm* I literally just had to teach a yellow case how to link a bitem a little while ago. *FacePalm* If you choose to keep that rule, I do hope you at least check the forum regularly for errors (sometimes a person just puts a square bracket by accident because their fingers aren't in sync with each other) and tag them to get them to correct it as much as you can. Do you know how to tag folks? If not, let me know and I'll be happy to show you. *Smile*

A couple of sentences don't end in a period, but it's not a huge deal. *Wink*

Good job making it double clear that you don't want 500 words! Since most folks have a max of 500 or 1000 or 1500 or whatever, it would be natural for folks to think the max is 500, even though you did say 499. It's just what they're used to. But between saying it twice and putting it in bold, they have no excuse. *Laugh* Good job! *Bigsmile*

I also like that you say what you will be using for the word count so there's no confusion about that. Great addition!

You say to donate "over 25,000," so does that mean if a person donates 25k, they won't get anything? I recommend not saying "over 25k" but maybe "at least 25k" so they know that 25k will get them something. If it won't, tell them "at least 30k." 30k is still a pretty common price for a community MB. *Smile*

There's still a little work to be done--especially with ensuring you can keep up with those prizes (and that they are posted correctly everywhere *Laugh*) and clarifying that deadline. But it's looking really good! I'm super pleased with what you are doing! I hope you advertise it well and get some really good submissions. In case you haven't noticed others doing it on the Newsfeed (which means you probably are only on your Personal Newsfeed, not the Community Newsfeed), people often post the winners on the Newsfeed and sometimes even link the winning entries there as well. I think the winners like that, so consider doing that. *Smile*

Also, consider getting on the Community Newsfeed, if you aren't already. Clicking Newsfeed on the left only takes you to your Personal Newsfeed. Here you only see official WdC stuff and things posted by people whose plus sign you've already clicked at least once to set them as a favorite. Though I encourage you to double click until you see the megaphone as this makes you a fan of theirs and they are notified and some folks, like me, reward their fans. *Bigsmile* Thus, I always say double clicking to the megaphone is better since there's no real difference except whether you're secretly stalking them or actually supporting them. *Rolling*

Okay, that was a bit of a joke, but anyway, to get to the Community Newsfeed, go to your Personal Newsfeed (the default when you click Newsfeed) and along the top of your Personal Newsfeed, you'll see "View the Community Newsfeed." Click that. Now you'll see what EVERYONE is posting (within your rating limit). Scroll, Like, comment, and start making friends. If you hang out there a lot, more and more people will start looking forward to seeing you Like or comment on their items and eventually they will (hopefully) double click your plus. Then your adds will appear on their Personal Newsfeed. *Bigsmile* And, of course, when you meet folks you like, double click their plus as well. *Wink*

Good luck with your contest! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* It's such a fun idea! I do hope you get a lot of entries, but if not, keep building a fan base and try it again later. *Bigsmile*
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

I'm back and I see you've made some changes to your fun madlib. *Delight* Nice!

As I said before, madlibs are fun and this is no exception. *Party* I definitely enjoyed it. Some parts, well, that's just how madlibs are--you aren't going to be able to get them so that every word sounds right. But I do think there have been improvements.

May I suggest some others? *Angelic* Remember that this is your masterpiece and these are only my own opinions, to be taken with a block of salt. *Wink*

Consider reviewing the initial thing where we type in the words. If this is going to go in a Newsletter, you might strive for perfection. If not, it's good enough. *Laugh* But there's discrepancies like you have Food1, Food2, and Food3. But you have Thing and Thing2 and you have Feeling2, but no Feeling1 or Feeling. I know the feeling one is just left over from previous changes. *Wink* None of these are ruining the experience. The inconsistencies are just something I noticed and wanted to mention, in case you planned to put this in the Newsletter. *Bigsmile*

As for the madlib, itself, some changes are definitely improvements, IMO. Well done! Others, did I miss a problem before or do we have a new problem? *Blush* *FacePalm* I don't know. I'll explain and let you decide what the situation is and if you want to fix it. *Smile*

Some of the things I changed were just to test them out. "50 degrees" works okay as a temp, but not as much as if I'd said hot or cold. Meh. Whatever.

While I wouldn't run to the Mai Tai store like I would my previous hot chocolate store, I'd definitely stop in out of curiosity. *Delight* This is a fun idea for a store. Very creative!

"They took (Greg) junky old (moped)..." Didn't it show possession last time? Or was the sentence different? I don't remember this not showing possession. Did it have an 's outside of the box I put the name in? If not, maybe include one. *Laugh*

"...a picnic basket full of (sandwich) and (chips) and (corn on the cob)." I wanted to see if you'd changed it so that singular foods work. Uh, not really. lol I know I suggested this before, but I still think it might be best to request plural foods instead of just food, but that's my opinion. It's your madlib. *Smile*

Shouldn't that be "(Greg) burst through the crowd..."? *Think* Though it's more colloquial, you can probably say "busted," if you want. *Laugh*

I love that Jules goes to a tree to write him a card or letter or whatever. But consider adding "tree" or is it just me that thinks it sounds better if you say "She went to the nearest (maple) tree and wrote..." Or "She went to the nearest (ash) tree and wrote..." Or "She went to the nearest (oak) tree and wrote..." Try reading those sentences with and without the word "tree." It could just be how I speak, but I think it's better with it, especially since there's no other reference to trees. Now, if this was about a forest, that would be different. *Bigsmile*

I think the last paragraph may need the most work, not that it's hard. *Smile* "At the end of the day, Jules and (Greg) went (park)." I'd add "to the" or "to a," depending on what you think works best for the most variety of places chosen. *Smile*

"Jules confessed she wouldn't change a thing and (Greg) wished he hadn't eaten (chips) because it makes him (jump)." There are a couple of things here, that you may have already noticed as you read what my madlib says. Since Jules and Greg have someone different experiences, I'd say, "Jules confessed she wouldn't change a thing, BUT (Greg)..." Naturally, that's not supposed to be capitalized. I just did that to ensure you noticed the change. lol

The other thing is that above, we see the singular foods don't work. Here, there's a combination of singular and plural needed to make this work. lol If we use "sandwich" as a singular food, it doesn't work in the 1st part, "...(Greg) wished he hadn't eaten (sandwich)..." But it partly does with the 2nd part because you have a singular food and you use "it." But it doesn't go well with the whole thing. I still think you should request all plural foods and then change this to "they make" so using the plural of "sandwich" in this example you would have "...(Greg) wished he hadn't eaten (sandwiches) because they make him (jump)." My chosen word of "chips" would also work in this sentence--"(Greg) wished he hadn't eaten (chips) because they make him (jump)."

So, yeah, still several suggested corrections, but it's still a fun madlib. Thank you for the MB, BTW! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* I look forward to seeing what you do with these in the Newsletter! *Delight* Good luck! Exciting!!!
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey! I saw this advertised on the Newsfeed and for some reason, couldn't resist reading it. That says a lot because I resist reading 99.99999999% of things I see advertised there. *Laugh* Good job grabbing my attention! *Delight*

I think the title and description were instrumental in getting me to read this. Great work! I also see you filled in all the genres like a good WdC-er. Well done. *Bigsmile*

I tend to review as I read. Here are my thoughts and suggestions. But remember they are only my opinion. Do what you know to be best for your writing. *Wink*

"My name is Mildred, I'm 105 yo." I'm pretty sure this should be a semicolon, not a comma. Funny that in class just yesterday, we were studying older adults and one case we looked at was about a woman named Mildred. *Laugh* Though she wasn't 105 yet. *Wink* I'd also recommend writing out "years old." But you probably already know that. *Bigsmile*

I love the conversational tone you open with, especially the end of the 1st paragraph, "I guess I'll start at the beginning. Well, maybe not at the very beginning. I don't think anyone wants to take that long reading this here writing of mine." Fabulous! I feel like I want to sit by her feet and listen to her story. Excellent work here! *Delight*

In the 2nd paragraph, you have "They cared about their neighbor, even if that meant traveling miles to see their neighbor. We took care of one another. That's what neighbors did." I feel like you use "neighbor" too much here. Perhaps the 2nd use could be simply "...traveling miles to see them." Ah, yes, those were better times--at least in that respect. *Wink*

The 3rd and 4th paragraphs really draw me into the story and the care they took with their preparations and the concern they had for their work. It made me want to go and see them. *Smile*

In the paragraph where Lilly-Mae finally hears the wind (great name, BTW), I don't think you need to capitalize "lobelia" (though I'm supposed to be in the shower right now so I'm not going to take the time to double check that) and I know you don't need to capitalize "charcoal." I don't mean the one where the wind is speaking, but the one where she tells her mom about it.

Oh, no--as I'm reading, I'm getting feelings of "The Monkey's Paw" because Momma isn't ready to say goodbye. I started to have a little lump in my throat when Daddy was dying, but now I'm creeped out. *Scared*

Way to pique my curiosity and ratchet up the creep factor with "Doing things that shouldn't be done. Saying things that shouldn't be said." *Yikes*

In the really long paragraph, I think you should start a new paragraph with "About a month after she started this, Daddy started to come around."

"Daddy's eyes weren't right anymore. They were as black as the midnight sky, with no sparkle of light anywhere to be seen." Okay, definitely glad I'm reading this in the morning and not at night. EEK!

I'd probably start another paragraph here. "In the background was my daddy, well, not my daddy, but the thing that now lived in my daddy."

The part about him being able to hear her praying at the other end of the house? YIKES! Yeah, DEFINITELY glad I am about to be up and about for the day! *Scared* Are you taking stevengepp's horror class? *Laugh* I might use this as one of the items I discuss for assignment 1 (which I haven't even started yet lol).

"Dug a hole as deep as we were able to, over four days long." I love how you describe the depth with the time it took to dig. Really creative idea!

"She buried him under an oak tree for the love of the man he once was, but down deep enough for the devil that he became." Nice contrast here. *Smile*

"Listening to the voice on the back of the wind is a good thing if you know that voice is good." I'm not 100% sure how I feel about this and/or the end. I feel like the wind was good, but it was Momma who strayed and she should have kept listening to the wind, but perhaps I'm wrong.

Anyway, WOW! Yeah, definitely a horrible story in a wonderful way! Very well done! I'm glad I stopped to read this...or at least so I say now in broad daylight. *Laugh*

Keep up the great work! I'd forgotten how talented you are! You rock those words and I love it! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Madlibs are so fun! I don't do them much, but I do enjoy them. *Delight* And it looks like you'll be including them in your next Newsletter, so that's extra exciting! Thank you for sharing your creation and allowing us to be a part of it! *Party*

While I enjoyed this, there were a few spots that I struggled with, though I can't offer a better suggestion--probably just one of those madlib things. But also, I found what I think were three typos in the original madlib.

Typo--"Jules need a vacation..." That should probably be "Jules needed a vacation..."

Also, in the next to last paragraph, where we included a writing utensil, we were asked for 1, but I can't come up with a single writing utensil that fits well into the last space of "She went to the (house) and wrote (Ralph) using (pencil)." Nothing singular fits for me--pen, marker, well, now that I get more creative, "blood" would work, but it's not an actual utensil. *Laugh* I think you should include "a" before the utensil since most probably begin with a consonant...a pencil, a pen, a marker, a feather dipped in blood. *Rolling*

The last typo is in the last madlib sentence, "...(Ralph) wish he hadn't eaten (tacos) because it make him (run)." That should probably be "...it makes..." Though I would recommend specifying that the food should be plural and changing that to "...because they make him..." because earlier you say they "...bring a picnic basket full of (pizza) and (tacos) and (spaghetti)." If I had put singular words, it would have sounded weird--"...bring a picnic basket full of (sandwich) and (cookie) and (hotdog)." It was only chance that I put in plural words. *Wink*

One of the things that might simply be one of the things about madlibs is when it says, "Together they decided to go to the (Texas). You asked for a location. Well, I don't know a way you could have said that more clearly so that I didn't choose a state. MAYBE if you sort of cheated and asked it like "Location (the ...)" But is that spoiling the fun of madlibs or making them more fun because they make more sense? I can't say. *Think*

In the 3rd paragraph, it says, "Jules (happy) it." This is a tricky one. It asked for a feeling. To be fair, I get feelings and emotions mixed up, even though I know they are technically different, but I'm not sure your random madlibber knows the difference, either. *Laugh* Anyway, there are things that would fit there, but they are generally past tense like "enjoyed" or "loved" or "hated." So, you might be able to improve this one with specifying it should be a past tense feeling, though I would have said "depressed." Okay, it would have still worked, but not with the same meaning. lol But I can't think of a present tense feeling that works here...well, now that I review it, the whole thing is written in past tense, so that would explain that. *FacePalm* *Laugh* I'm not a grammarian! *Laugh*

All in all, I enjoyed this, especially since I haven't done one in a long time. *Delight* Fun! My favorite part was the hot chocolate store. Yep! If I saw one, I'd DEFINITELY go in! *Coffee* *Cookie2* *Laugh* Thank you for sharing this! If you want me to rereview it, if you decide to make changes, let me know when you are done. *Smile* Madlibs are definitely tricky to make so that they are mostly fun and mostly not frustration. lol Good work! Keep it up!
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

I'm sending you this review because you asked for feedback about your new contest and I ended up having more feedback than expected. lol Well, I do love to give an opinion... *Think* *Laugh*

Anyway, here goes...

First, good job having all 3 genres filled out! Also, I see you listed Contest as one of those. Great! Definitely don't do that if it's a contest entry you are writing for someone and don't bother using Contest Entry as one of your genres because no one really searches for that when looking for something to read, even if what you wrote IS a contest entry. *Wink* It's really a category that shouldn't hardly ever (if ever) be used. *Wink* But good job with your genres here. I might not go with Writing, because to me, that suggestions perhaps info on writing rather than actually a written item since anything that's an item is almost always a written item. lol If the contest is always going to focus on mondegreens, I'd use Music as one of the genres, myself. Also, since these so often involve humor, you could use Comedy as one of your genres. But at least you filled all 3 in, which makes you a step above half the site, so well done! *Bigsmile*

You rated your contest E. I saw that both of you seem to be underaged, so good job not creating something you shouldn't be judging. *Laugh* But E is REALLY restrictive. Consider 13+? Not saying you HAVE to do that, but consider it. Also, list the rating in the rules, especially since it's not 18+.

I also really appreciate that you used a larger font. Smart! There are a lot of older adults on WdC and even some people with vision problems, so it's a good idea to use a larger font. I encourage people to at least use 3.5, but I tend to use 4, myself. *Smile* Anyway, well done. *Heart*

Are you sure a malapropism is when you HEAR something wrong? I'm pretty sure it's when someone SAYS something wrong. *Think*

This is a link that says a mondegreen is sort of the opposite of a malapropism and is when you hear it wrong, but that it often happens in music.

http://www.fun-with-words.com/malapropisms.html#:~...

Here's where it says saying it wrong is the malapropism.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/malapro...

In your second sentence/paragraph, you put the period inside the quotation marks. In your third sentence/paragraph, you put it outside. Are you British or American? Because for Americans, the period always goes inside the quotation marks. (Question marks and exclamation points vary, depending on the usage.) Just making sure you're using it right if you're American. *Bigsmile*

Just so you know, 500 words or less isn't usually considered a short story. Depending on who you ask, it's either flash fiction or micro fiction. Here's a link that talks about the various lengths of things. Though that link leaves a gap between 500 and 1000 words. lol

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/word-count-gu...

I think here we consider anything below 1k flash fiction, but I've seen micro fiction thrown around and it's even the title of a couple of contests. But for here, either is probably acceptable. But I wouldn't use the term short story.

Also, in that bit where you are saying it's a short story and we can write whatever, that it can be funny or crazy or just plain weird, that is a run-on sentence--the last part, especially.

I would put the word "Rules" in bold, personally. But what you have isn't wrong.

The 1st couple of rules don't have periods, but the rest do. *Laugh*

Be sure to mention the max rating limit in the rules. Otherwise, you're definitely going to get some non-E (or even non-13-+, if you raise it) stories. *Laugh* *FacePalm*

You say each round is 2 weeks, but I recommend also including the current deadline because we don't necessarily know when you started counting the 2 weeks. *Wink* Maybe say that the rounds last 2 weeks, then immediately under, in bold, put something like "Deadline: July 15, 2023" or whatever. I do encourage you to include the year so that when a newbie runs into this, they know it's still active (or not) because they don't know all the clues like the last updated date in the lower right corner of the top part of an item. *Wink*

When you talk about the entries being submitted as a b-item link, I can show you how to write that example so it's more clear. *Bigsmile* You literally use 2 sets of braces such as {{bitem:2109126}}. To show you those 2 sets, I created 3 sets. When you create 2 sets, the reader will see only 1 set because 1 set always disappears. See this 1 set of braces? {bitem:2109126} I created 2 sets to show them to you. *Bigsmile* (Also, you don't need the dash, in case you didn't know.) And consider using # instead of X as {bitem:#######} to help them understand it's numbers they should be including. And I would call it the item ID number and mention that it's 7-digit number at the top of their item, between the title and description. But that's how I'd do it. *Whistle* *Laugh*

Also, I see you aren't allowing book entries like from blogs and such. A lot of folks use books/blogs for writing their contest entries to save space in their port. I'm not saying you have to allow them, but most folks do. When the person creates their entry, they then use the 7-digit number in the upper right corner of that entry and create a link with {entry:#######}. If you use the number at the top, you link to the whole blog, not that specific page. *Wink*

You say it's not necessary to write an entry in the timeframe of the round. Does that mean you allow late entries? I assume that means up until the judging, of course. But then, what if you are judging right now and just before you post the results, someone else posts an entry. So, before each time you post the winners, you'll double check the forum to make sure no one else has entered in the meantime? If that's what you mean, that's quite generous of you! If that's not what you mean, maybe rewrite that part because that's what I'd assume. lol And if you are going to allow late entries, perhaps say something about entering late at their own risk and that you don't announce when judging begins, but when it does, late entries will no longer be accepted. That way, if you get a late entry right before you announce the winners, you don't have to go back and rejudge. *Pthb* Just my opinion...but if you want to check the forum for late entries before you post winners, by all means, do so. That's very generous of you! *Smile*

You have the word count as "under 500." Consider putting in bold below that something like, "Max word count 499." These types of things like the bold deadline and bold word count help new folks quickly see what they need to do. *Smile*

You say that the entries will be disqualified if they exceed the word count, but you don't require one. Just so you know, different sites give different word counts. I think it's good that you don't require it. I once lost a contest when I was the only entry because they wanted the word count in 2 places and I only put it in one. *FacePalm* But maybe state the site you'll be using for determining the word count? And are you going to test everything? Otherwise, a person can just lie. *Whistle* Not saying you need to. No one does...to my knowledge. But just asking questions here. *Wink* You can also just leave that bit out because it's assumed you are disqualified if you don't follow the rules and one of the rules is a max word count of 499. *Wink* Also, those 2 lines (over word count and wrong bitem link disqualify you) don't have a period. lol And this isn't something to necessarily put on the page, but if you are going to look at the page throughout the month, if you see someone who linked wrong, are you going to let them know or they're just on their own. It's something to think about. Newbies may link wrong (thus why it's important to have clear instructions on how to do it) and even those who know better will occasionally use a square bracket instead of a curly brace because their fingers weren't in sync. *Wink* I'm not saying you have to call people's attention to it or help them if they are new, but it's something to think about. What are you going to do in that case?

I'd bold "Prizes."

WHOA! Those are some really good prizes! Are you able to afford that on a regular basis? Or is this contest not running regularly? If not, that's totally fine. But you make it sound like it will run every 2 weeks since you didn't say that it will run for 2 weeks once a month or every other month or whatever. So, if you run it every 2 weeks, that's 80,000 GPs in prizes (the GPs and awardicons together) if you only have a winner and 1 honorable mention. And if you run this twice a month, that's 160,000 GPs per month. *Shock2* Do you have that ability? If not, either back off the prizes (just GPs or just an awardicon is fine and don't mention a specific number of honorable mentions, only that they will be awarded at the judges discretion) or mention how often you plan to run it.

In your number of entries vs. number of honorable mentions, you have a period on the last one, but not the others. I'd say it's okay to leave that period off since they aren't really regular sentences. *Smile*

I'd put "Judges" in bold and add a colon since you did with the other parts. Also, I do prefer the blank space between that headline and the info, so consider putting a blank space between "Rules" and the rules as well as "Prizes" and the info on prizes. Though I'm not sure you need to say, "The judges of this contest will be" because you just labeled that part as "Judges." lol Will both of you be judging? That's how it sounds. If not, or if sometimes yes and sometimes not, consider putting "and/or" and maybe something like "depending on the number of entries received" so you have some flexibility. *Wink*

If you are running a round where for sure only 1 of you is judging, you should probably take off the other person's name. You can do that with hide tags {hide} Put text to be hidden in here {/hide} or with these type of hide tags... {-- Put text to be hidden in here --} Usually you use the hide /hide ones if you are hiding larger amounts of text, but in the case of just hiding a judge temporarily, the others might be more commonly used. Though it doesn't REALLY matter since we won't see what you used. lol

I really like that you used "user" instead of "suser" or "huser" tags for the judges so folks can see who is online if they have a question. Smart. *Smile*

For "Donations," I'd also put that in bold and add a colon and a blank space between it and the info below. *Smile*

I like the simplicity of the contest and rules. Good use of color. You can consider adding a GIF, if you want to make things a bit more interesting. I did a quick search and found {embed:giphy:26BRO4GNTxgD3jVwA} which creates



I'm not in love with it, but didn't care for the others...well, I did like 1, but it used the b-word, so you can't use that with the current E rating. *Wink* But you can see what you find with different searches, if you want to use a GIF, but don't like that one. Click the black box on the far right of the list of buttons at the top of the text box. It's the one that has a colorful rectangle and is next to the smiley face button that lists all the emojis. Click that black button and then search a word or short phrase. I checked for both "malaprop" and "malapropism." They both yielded the same 4 options. Usually there are a lot more, but not for "malaprop." lol When you find one you like, click it and the code will appear above the GIFs, just below the search bar. Copy that, of course. lol

You are both newbies, so you're going to need to advertise in more creative ways. You have just 1 fan and your judge has only 6, but one is you, so really only 5. *Laugh* When you post on the Newsfeed, only people who have clicked your plus sign at least once will see your notes...unless they're on the Community Newsfeed, but since barely anyone gets on that, don't count on that option. *Pthb*

Ideally, you need more fans, but those are hard to get suddenly. I do encourage you to get on the Community Newsfeed and start socializing to make friends who will hopefully turn into fans eventually. To get there, click Newsfeed. It will take you to your Personal Newsfeed by default. This is where you only see people whose plus you have clicked and official WdC stuff. You have your Newsfeed rated as E, so you won't see too much. Consider changing it to 13+. You can do that in the settings or in the upper right corner of the Newsfeed, though I don't recall if that changes it permanently or not. I have mine set to 18+, but rarely see anything worse than 13+ and most is probably E. The problem is that even if the thing is actually an E post, you won't see it because you have your rating set to E, but they have theirs set higher by default, regardless of what that specific post should actually be rated. Does that make sense?

Anyway, when you get to your Personal Newsfeed, click "View the Community Newsfeed" on the top of your Personal Newsfeed. This will allow you to see what everyone is posting within your rating limit. (Double check what rating it's listing in the upper right corner as I'm not sure if it changes or reverts back or whatever if you switch to the other Newsfeed, but had just changed your rating limit.) Anyway, scroll, Like, comment, and start making friends. It takes time to make friends, but as you do, people will eventually start clicking your plus. *Smile*

In the meantime, since right now, almost no one will see your Newsfeed notes, you need to find other ways to advertise. Consider clicking Community on the left side, then click Newsletters. Go to the Contests & Activities Newsletters and look for ones that talk about how to advertise. I know there have been several over time and I feel like 1 was within the last 6-8 months, but I might be wrong. Anyway, those can be useful for creative ways to advertise besides just posting on the Newsfeed. *Smile* You can advertise by going to Community, then Contests and filling out the form there to get your contest listed. If you see the Newsfeed Highlights, at the bottom, it has a link for how to get added to that, but if you don't plan to run this regularly, that might be hard to plan for since you can't be guaranteed when your contest will be highlighted. *Pthb* I know there are other ways to advertise, including asking your fans to post on their Newsfeed, but I can't think of anything else right now. Like I said, check the Newsletters for ideas. *Smile* Oh, you can add a link to your signature block (if you have a membership level that allows that--not sure what does and what doesn't). Check the membership info for that and/or Settings.

Well, overall, nice job! There are a few things that need to be just tightened up such as a period or colon here and no period or colon there. But overall, nice work. It's a fun idea for a contest! Do know that it's not easy to get entries, so don't get discouraged, especially since you're both so new. But the fact that this is asking for something short, that might help. Yes, there are plenty of folks here who think even 2k isn't enough words and refuse to enter contests because of word count limits, but many people are happy to enter a shorter contest and this short might find many people interested...if you can get them to know about the contest. *Wink*

One thing you can do is when you are on the Community Newsfeed, when you see a person who is saying their bored or looking for a contest, you can link yours. *Bigsmile* If you see a person who posts like, "Read my new story I just wrote" but they don't include a link, teach them how to create a link using your contest as an example. *Bigsmile* Be sure to use the double braces so they can understand and explain where to find their item number. I tend to show both item and bitem links, myself.

I do hope you two find great success on here! If not, remember that your newness might be part of the problem and wait until you have a larger fan base. You can see how many fans you have by clicking the Fans tab along the top of your Portfolio. It's just after the Community tab. The fans are the ones who have double clicked your plus. Those are the best because you can see who is following you. If a person clicks only once, they set you as a favorite and you can't track them as favorites are private. Thus, I always encourage people to double click my plus. *Bigsmile* Fans see the megaphone. Favorites see the finger with the string in place of the plus, after clicking it. No pressure, but have you double clicked mine? *Angelic* *Bigsmile* *Laugh* Schnujo NEEDS to do homework Author IconMail Icon If you haven't, you don't have to, but I do pay all my new fans 10k GPs. *Delight* Anyway, I definitely encourage you to work on making more fans. It's a long, slow process, but without fans, very few people see what you put on the Newsfeed. *Frown*

Back to the contest, nice idea and good job with the plan. I like it and hope you get a lot of good entries! The prizes are definitely impressive! Just be sure you don't go broke if you are planning to run this repeatedly. *Laugh* You are definitely generous! *Heart*
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm giving this 4.5 stars because it doesn't come across as poetry to me, though it's labeled as such. That's the only thing. If this was a blog post or listed as something else, I'd give it 5 stars.

Mainly, I'm sending you a review because I wanted to encourage and support you after reading this. Remember that church is only a gathering of flawed people. What (I presume) they did was not okay. But also, that has nothing to do with God or your relationship with Him. You can still get good things from bad situations. You can still find the peace and love of God in a church that is horrible. You just have to separate them in your mind. We shouldn't (but often do) allow other humans to separate us from God.

You had a good experience for part or most or even all of that year before you found out what was happening. Don't let them steal that from you in the same way that they stole innocence and light from others. God is everywhere, including in the darkest places. And if you did or feel you did (because sometimes we take more responsibility for things than we should) or even didn't do anything when you should have because you were fully in the know, it's nothing that God can't forgive. That redemption isn't lost forever. And no, you don't deserve it, but none of us do, no matter how "bad our sins." That's why it's given in God's grace and mercy. We are fallen beings and can't deserve it.

When I came back from Iraq, I returned with horrible survivor's guilt over deaths that happened there that, while not 100% my fault, I could have maybe prevented if I'd tried harder. I spent years hating myself and refusing to get help because I didn't deserve it. I wouldn't go to church because I knew God loved me, but I didn't deserve or want Him to so I actively avoided Him. After finally getting some trauma treatment (I HIGHLY recommend Accelerated Resolution Therapy, though insurance won't pay for it, but they will pay for EMDR--Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which ART is based off of, so it's a good 2nd option), I finally came to realize that I can't blame myself forever for the things I didn't do. That only destroys the future good I can do in the world. If I believed that making up for it through doing good things or doing better in the world is important, than I had to get over/through this time in my life or I'd never be able to make the world a better place because I was holding myself back and through that, hurting the world and working against my own moral compass.

What I had and what I suspect you have is a moral injury. This is where we act or don't act in a way that contradicts our personal belief system. They can be very hard to overcome, but we can do it. *HeartBroken* *HeartBl* *HeartP* *Heart* I encourage you to seek treatment for this. Don't let other people's sins define you and don't let your past sins (real or imagined) define your future. It's okay to be angry, but not okay to take it out on yourself and not okay to allow that to hinder your personal and spiritual growth. That's what Satan wants. That's what makes him happy when he makes these things happen. That's his whole purpose--to destroy the church and God's people. Don't let him win.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can reach out to some of the victims and offer support. You can even apologize for not supporting them more at the time. Some may reject you out of anger. Some may ignore you, wishing to put that part of their life behind them. Some may accept your apology and even appreciate it. I can't say. I only know that you need to do what will help you so that that you can move forward from this. If you hold this against yourself or others or God, you will be hurting yourself and your own future and the future of those that you could have helped in so many ways if you had allowed this time to only be a part of your past and not to be something actively a part of your future. You have so much to offer the world. Don't let this define who you are or the things that you can do for others.

It's okay to be angry. But it's not okay to let the past destroy what God has in store for you in the future. *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* I do hope you are able to find and get help. (Though remember that sometimes your first therapist isn't a good fit. Keep looking until you find one that is. And let them know you are specifically looking for trauma treatment such as EMDR. Otherwise, you can fall into the habit of just chatting about your life and never getting any real work done. *Wink* You might need to start there to build rapport, but don't let that be everything you do in therapy.) Don't let Satan steal more from you and others than he already has. Everything from this that holds you back from God or from the best you that you can be or, perhaps worst of all, that keeps you from doing everything you can for others in the future is another victory for him. He wins enough. There's no need to hand him victories. It won't be easy, but you can get through this!

If I'm way off base here, I do apologize. I just saw the hurt and wanted to reach out. I, too, am only another flawed human. I've done terrible things and I've blamed myself for the terrible things of others. I've allowed Satan to win and I've stolen the victory that was rightfully God's from Him. But I've also done wonderful things and helped so many other people. I've allowed God to work through me and helped others find Him because of me. At times, I've held myself back and at other times, I've allowed God to set me free. Like everyone, I'm still a work in progress.

I pray that you and the others can find some peace and that this doesn't permanently separate you or them from God. Nothing can undo the damage. But there is still love, peace, hope, and even redemption to be found in God, despite humanity. They are gifts He freely gives to us. We just have to ask...and sometimes work through our own brokenness to see them. *Pray* *Heart* *Pray*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Soldiers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! What a powerful piece of writing here! Thank you so much for sharing this. Even the opening line grabbed me, "When bombs start bursting..." But of course, I was in war, so... *Wink*

I love that you centered this instead of putting it off to the side. Not sure if you meant for it to help bring more attention to the words, but I think it does--putting them front and center. Well done!

The only criticism I have is "...brutality is measured by soldier's bodies." Amazing description, but shouldn't that be "soldiers' bodies" instead?

Thank you so much for sharing this poem! You are, indeed, an excellent poet! *Heart* I just checked to see if I could nominate it for "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. Alas, I don't think they existed when this was written in 2005. *Frown* But know that I live it that much! *InLove2*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of SELF ESTEEM  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi! Welcome to WdC! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Thank you for sharing your item. *Smile* This review is just my opinion, so take from it what you find helpful and ignore the rest. *Wink*

You say you have "little experience about life." I'm wondering if that means you are young? If so, I'm especially happy to see you here. *Delight* If not, well, me neither, so it's fine. *Laugh* Anyway, I believe you need a comma after "life."

Don't forget to capitalize "I." And it would make a bit more sense if you said, "human actions are born" or humans act out of their self-esteem." BTW, that should be "self-esteem." *Laugh*

I'm not sure I think it's "either good or bad." I think sometimes our self-esteem fluctuates and sometimes even just in the middle, but that's my opinion. *Angelic* However, I definitely agree that a BIG part of how we act is based on our self-esteem, for sure! Great point! And we can often tell something about a person's self-esteem from their actions, though not always. Of course, we all have a bad day or someone is mean to us sometimes, so that can impact our behavior. *Frown*

That should be "each and everyone's self-esteem" because it is their self-esteem, so it should be possessive. And that is "either way," not "either ways," even though it is talking about more than one way that can be gone, ultimately, it is talking about choosing only 1 way, if that helps you remember. *Smile*

You are 100% that we all need to work on our self-esteem, though perhaps to also be sure to guard against becoming too prideful or even egotistical. But I think that's much less common than having low self-esteem.

That last sentence in your first paragraph is super long and could (probably should) be broken down. Wait, I just realized, that first paragraph is 1 giant sentence. *Laugh* We call that a run-on sentence. Try to break it up some. Usually where the thoughts change is a great place. I think this is part of why it ends with "either solid or weak." I think the point got lost in the sentence because you are talking about the importance of working on self-esteem. If you work on your self-esteem, then the result should be a solid ability to fight through when things get rough. *Smile*

I, again, disagree that you have either low or high self-esteem and that you can't have medium self-esteem or it can't change throughout the day or week. But, this is a matter of opinion and doesn't make a difference to my review rating, of course.

I'm SUPER excited to see you filled out all 3 genres for your item! *Party* GREAT WORK! SO MANY people don't do this and they really should! Though I will recommend you change some of the genres you chose. Activities is usually reserved for challenges, social forums, and things like that. Adult means, uh, things that kids shouldn't be reading, if you know what I mean. *Blush* *Laugh* Maybe consider things like Cultural, Educational, possibly Health or Medical (for the mental health side of the idea of self-esteem), definitely Psychology, and self-help would be good as well. Other ones not to choose are Other, Contest (unless you are actually creating a contest for people to enter), or Contest Entry.

There are several reasons to use all 3 genres--1. People search using genres more than any other way to find something to read on here. But this is also why I don't recommend things like Other or Contest Entry. People don't search for that. *Wink* 2. Moderators write Newsletters and they are expected to include 5-20 items in their Newsletter so they have to search for items to include. Obviously, they search based on what the Newsletter is about, so whether it's the Horror or Romance Newsletter, they aren't searching Other or Contest Entry for something to include because that wouldn't give them a very defined set of items to check. 3. We have an activity called "The QuillsOpen in new Window.. People can nominate exceptional items they love. They nominate them for categories like Best Long Poem-Structured or Best Flash Fiction. (Anyone can nominate something...except their own thing, of course, so feel free to nominate stuff written this year through "Quill Nomination Form 2025Open in new Window..) Once an item has been nominated, the item is then put into the genre categories listed by the author for further opportunities to win a Quill. You could not win Best Short Nonfiction, but then win Best Psychology, for example...or, you could win both. *Delight* However, no matter HOW OBVIOUS it is, the genre categories it gets judged in is ONLY what the author lists. So, if they write something called "The Terror of a Home Invasion" and write all kinds of scary things, but only label it Other, Other, and Other, they won't have any chance except to win in the main category it was nominated it because "Other" isn't a judged genre category.

So, all this is to so I'm very happy you filled out all the genres, but I do recommend maybe considering some different ones. *Wink* When you do reviews, feel free to see what people are listing. (It's in the top left area under the image.) And if you disagree with what they used or they didn't use anything, click Browse by Genre on the left side of the computer screen and it will bring up all the genre options and you can give them some suggestions to help them out. I also recommend explaining why they are so important to list and to list good ones--search results, to maybe be included in a Newsletter, and to get judged in more categories if their item is nominated for "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. But only things from this year can be nominated...unless you are nominating a contest, activity, etc. But of poem, stories, etc., only things this year can be nominated.

Remember that my comments about your item are only my opinion. It's your writing, so do with it as you please. *Smile*

It looks like maybe you aren't a native speaker. If that is the case, I'm even MORE impressed with you and your writing! Stick around, read, review, and participate in activities and your English will really grow! *Delight*

Again, welcome to WdC and thank you for sharing your writing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
WELCOME TO WdC! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

This review is intended to be helpful. Take what you agree with and toss what you don't. It's all just my own opinion. *Wink*

Okay, well, it's not ALL my own opinion... *Angelic* The intro is rated as Non-E, but that's not accurate. The title is "Where Lost Trinkets Go" and the description is "Uress discovers something strange about his couch." There's nothing non-E about this. *Wink* You can check the rules for how to rate things here *Right* "Content Rating System (CRS)Open in new Window. While no one is going to complain that you rated it too high, you won't get as many views as you would if you rated it appropriately. *Wink* The content does seem to be appropriately rated. *Smile*

This is totally just a suggestion. There are a LOT of older members here with older eyes. Consider enlarging your font to 3.5 or maybe 4. I have a touchscreen so it's fine for me. But not everyone here does. *Frown*

"Uress woke up with his head feeling like a blocked drain, stuck with lumps of ancient pudding and bits of chicken legs pounding against his skull." WOW! What an opening like! I love it...and am pretty sure I've felt like that before, though not for the same reason. lol

"In the corner stood a counter, it's top stacked with magazines and pokemon cards. an old man stood behind it, he reminded Uress of a stone beside a road, eroded by eons of water erosion, winds pushing while the earth sunk him deeper down and moss as old as time itself grew beneath." Another great sentence! You really have some talent! I'm super impressed!

The only error I spotted was "Well, strike me in the bowels and call me jitterbugged, If it ain't some luck," "If" shouldn't be capitalized there...or that comma needs to be a period. *Wink*

The only other correction I'd recommend is to change 2 of your genres. Other and Contest Entry aren't searched for much (if at all) by readers here. Plus, Moderators look for items to post in their Newsletters and they don't search for those, either. And we have an awards ceremony here called "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. If an item gets nominated (for example, Best Flash Fiction category), then the item is automatically put in the genre categories that are listed by the author. You would only qualify for the Fantasy genre. While I agree that it's the best option, anything is better than nothing. *Wink* Consider Folklore, Mystery, or Supernatural for your other 2 genres.

You're a very talented writer who obviously put a lot of time into his story! Wonderful work! I do hope to see you around with lots more writing! Good luck and welcome to WdC!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of The Door  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Welcome to WdC! I hope you are finding it to be a nice and friendly place. *Smile*

I enjoyed your poem...and I usually don't like free-verse...or really poetry at all. *Laugh* Nicely done. *Smile*

I would definitely recommend you try to fill in all 3 genres. I realize it's a bit harder for this poem. Maybe Dark, Gothic, Tragedy, Tribute, or even Home/Garden. *Laugh* There are several reasons to fill out all the genres. 1. Many people search for things to read and/or review via the genre. The more you have filled in, the more folks are going to find your poem. 2. We have newsletters on this site and the people who write the newsletters include examples of writing in their newsletters. Thus, they need to search by genre. *Wink* 3. We have an award ceremony called "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. It's like the Oscars, but much more low budget and low key. *Laugh* But still, it's an honor just to be nominated. *Laugh* Anyway, if this poem were to be nominated, it would be nominated for the poetry category for unstructured, short poems. That's automatic when it's nominated. But then there are genre categories it also automatically goes into if there are enough items of that genre for judging that year. Yours would only have a chance at willing a Quill Award in the mystery genre. If you have all 3 filled out, you get 3 chances instead of just 1 chance to win a genre award. *Bigsmile*

Anyway, to your poem...you do an excellent job of describing the door. My favorite part is the bit about the window looking like oilslicked water. Cool!

Well done! Keep it up! Also, as you browse the site, feel free to nominate things you love for a Quill award using "Quill Nomination Form 2025Open in new Window.. Static items like stories and poems had to have been written this year, but contests, interactives, activities, etc. just need to be active this year. *Smile*

Again, welcome to WdC! It's great to see you here!
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In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Howdy!

I saw your request for a review and thought I'd throw in my 2 cents since it was a short poem. *Angelic* *Bigsmile*

As with any review, take what you find useful and ignore the rest. These are only my own opinions, so do with them what you will. *Wink*

The first thing I notice is a "mistake" I used to make in my poetry. I used to capitalize every line as well, but have since been told that that isn't the style (anymore?). Like with regular sentences, you only capitalize when you come to the end of the sentence. *Confused* *Think* That's what I've been told, so I pass it on to you. Mind you, I'm not a poet, so take all my advice with a box of salt. *Laugh*

BTW, I love the addition of the rose images! *InLove2*

You wrote, "As the rose petals fall into place;" but I sort of want that to be "...fall out of place" because what I'm imaging is that the petals are on the rose when we are alive, but then as we die, they fall to the table or ground or whatever, so they are falling out of place from where they originally were. But maybe you are thinking of death as the place we should all be and thus the rose petals are falling into place as we die?

Nice rhyme scheme. I prefer poem that rhyme, so good job in my mind. *Laugh* But I have to say, I don't get the bit about...

So I may have a chance;
To know it will defend.

What are they defending? I don't get that.

I like that you centered the poem. But I was looking at the shape and thought it would look even cooler if you tried to create a rose petal-type shape with the poem. You can keep the spacing, IMO, but just fill out some of the center lines so the middle of the poem is fatter. Yeah, it would mean reworking a LOT of the poem, but it would look cool, IMO. *Bigsmile* *Angelic* It's easier to make giant suggestions to other people's work. *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling*

I have a couple of favorite lines here.

Inside one's soul;
Lay one's dreams;

and

The time says goodbye.

Nice work on those especially. *Smile* They are cool ideas and images to put in my mind. Thanks for that!

Nice work on your poem! Keep at it! BTW, next month is National Poetry Month and I'll be doing a prompt where you pick a poetry style you've never done before and you explain it, then write a poem in that style. *Smile* My contest always pays people for entering, so I encourage you to post an entry to "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for NowOpen in new Window. next month. *Bigsmile*

Good luck with your efforts to learn to write more poetry! The fact that you are asking for critiques so you can learn more is huge! Good for you! But remember that these are our opinions, not necessarily fact. Keep at it! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of The Bird  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a fabulous poem! Thank you so much for sharing it! You're very talented and I'm glad to see you are sharing it on here. Thank you for that, for sure.

I think my favorite lines are the 1st and last...

A bird which flew on wisps of thought,

And flew out to creation's edge.

These are fabulous lines that show us the bird in new and interesting ways. Great work! I was actually going to nominate it for "The QuillsOpen in new Window., but then I saw it wasn't written this year. Alas, for Quills, it has to be written in the current year (except in January when you can nominate for the previous year or the current year). I'm sorry I can't nominate this, but know that I really enjoyed it. *Smile*

My only suggestion isn't about your writing. I'd just suggest you see if you can find a picture of the inspiration postcard for this on the internet. You can even just edit the poem and post a link to it if you are low on port space. Let me know if you need help with editing or posting links here. Actually, I think SM has now made it so you can just paste a link in and it automatically becomes clickable so you don't need the ML code for that, but if I'm wrong, let me know if you need the code.

Anyway, thank you for sharing your talent with us!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of 88 Keys  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey! Welcome to writing.com! I'm so glad to have you join us all! *Bigsmile*

I was reading entries from Test Your Poetry and found yours. This is a very nice poem about your piano. How sweet. *Smile*

I did notice you included (or accidentally included, I'm guessing), the item number in the first line. *Think*

He is white and black and played with love 2258777

I was trying to figure out where that number came from and thought it must be the phone number given in some song I wasn't familiar with. All I could remember was *Music1*867-5309*Music2* (I think is correct). *Laugh*

Anyway, I like how you personified music and also enjoyed some lines where you were especially poetic such as "I can bend sound..." Nicely done!

If you decide to edit this piece, you will find a gear in the upper right corner of the item. Click that. I generally pick Quick Edit, myself, but do what makes you happy. Thanks for sharing this piece!

Keep it up and welcome to WdC! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Ode To Why  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a fun poem that I'm sure has been recited in many different ways throughout the last couple of years. *Laugh* I'm glad you worked to put voice to the thoughts and words of so many, especially the little kids who don't have much understanding at all about what is going on.

I did find 2 things that appear to be errors...

Tom,”
“My son does make a valid, Mom.”

They are back to back lines. The first is missing the opening quotation marks. The second, I think, is missing the word "point" after "valid."

Otherwise, nice work and thank you for putting it out there for the rest of us! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of 14 (Fourteen)  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a great poem! I really enjoyed the line structure and how you broke things up. I also think you did a great job of describing how people feel and what is going on when their adolescence is dying and they are growing every closer to becoming an adult. Great work!

We aren't allowed to tell people if they get nominated for "The QuillsOpen in new Window., but I think I am allowed to tell you I was going to nominate this poem for a Quill, but then I discovered I can't because it wasn't written this year. *Frown* Well, know that I thought it was good enough to nominate. *Bigsmile* That's something, right? *Wink*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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