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Because I usually am in Vino ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine. Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird. Perhaps it's me who's weird. |
| Yesterday, Julien called to freak out about some work stuff. Even when the restaurant is closed, it seems there is something to freak out about. I won't go into details because it's all rather stupid and irresponsible on the part of the administration and as usual, they are trying to put it on me and Julien when we have emails that show we were just following orders like good little soldiers. Anyway, he gave me an update on the situation in Paris and the restaurant. While restaurants in the "green zones" might be able to open on June 2nd, they still aren't sure about the "red zones" which of course, Paris is one. We, according to the Prime Minister are all allowed to go on vacation within France in July and August. So maybe restaurants in Paris might be allowed to open in July. That's all great except in Paris, anyone in the city who is not working in tourism or hospitality leaves - the non-touristy parts of the city are EMPTY - and all of the restaurants like ours are full of tourists. Full. Of Tourists. We get a few French tourists of course. People who are passing through from one place to another and decided to make a stop over in Paris for a night or two, but the ratio of non-French to French is pretty wide for those two months. So even if our restaurant is open, and Parisians are not quarantined to the city, well the restaurant will be empty. It's still not sure if inter-European travel will be allowed. Long story short, the owner of the restaurant has said that if we can't fill the restaurant properly, he's not going to open until September. For a long time I've wanted to find a way to have complete freedom to "figure shit out" while not worry about money and it is quite possible that I am now going to have that opportunity for at least a few months. I'll still have 75-80% of my salary, which is enough for me to get by even if I won't save much and I won't have to work. Of course, for the past two months, I've been in the same situation but it's different when the entire country is confined to their homes and no one is really sure what's up anymore. It was like a weird purgatory. Knowing that there is a very good chance I won't be going back to work until September feels very different. The question now is what is the "shit I want to figure out?" What do I want to do? Write? Study wine? Find a new job? Learn woodworking? Study medieval philosophy? Play oboe? Three and a half months of freedom to reshape myself. I can do whatever I want. If I decide it's all bullshit, I can spend the next 3 months in bed. I feel like I should take suggestions. Open up a poll to those who know me. What would you do if you were me : 38, childless, with many useless degrees, and free from any serious money concerns? (And can't travel) It's a huge opportunity that has dropped into my lap and I'm afraid if I put to much pressure on myself to "figure shit out" I'll just cry and hide in my bed. At the same time, I feel the pressure, because I know that I should take advantage of this opportunity to accomplish/change/grow/learn. Especially considering how much I bitch that my job doesn't allow me to have time for the things I love. In three months with nothing else to do, I could probably get back into oboe-shape if I really kicked my own ass about it. |
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I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.
Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe. 
