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In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

May 8, 2020 at 9:25am

#983068

I'm going to lay down now.

The taxes must have worn me out yesterday because today I find myself rather tired. There's a running problem I've had since I was an adolescent where my energy suddenly collapses to the point that I feel weak and barely able to hold myself up. It seems to come and go without any logic or reason. Some days I'm fine and other days I can barely keep my eyes open. Usually it falls within the hours of 2 and 6 but sometimes it comes earlier.

Back when I was at Brandeis they tested me for a variety of things, thyroids, diabetes, iron deficiency, and they all came back negative. Another doctor in France encouraged me to have my thyroid tested again, but I never did it. I probably should have. Nothing really seems to help except laying down and taking a nap, but even then, I often wake up feeling worse than I did before I laid down so I'm just trying to push through it today.

I did some studying, read some blogs, went shopping. I bought a new nail polish color because my nails are growing since I haven't been biting them, since I haven't been at work. Funny how that seems to work. No smoking, less drinking, long nails, healthy diet, all because I'm not working. Like I wrote yesterday, I don't hate my job, but I often wonder if I should return to it when the restaurant reopens. I won't say that I'm more productive now than I am when I'm at work because my job takes up so much of my waking hours, but I am more focused and I've spent more time doing things I enjoy than I did on my weekends when I was at work. For instance, I might have an evening off from work and go home around 6 or 7pm. Instead of going home and spending an hour studying or shopping or enjoying myself, I usually order delivery, get drunk, and pass out. Or if I have a long break in the middle of the day, I nap rather than exercising, reading, studying, writing, etc. On the weekends I sleep, run, and spend time roaming aimlessly around the internet. My waking, off hours are spent just recovering rather than being enjoyed. And that has always bothered me about this career that I've chosen. I don't expect to go home after a 10 hour day and spend another 5 hours writing or studying but an hour here and there would make me feel like I'm doing something for myself. I don't even have the energy to go out and make friends or be social. Therefore, my only friends are people I see at work. And I'm not really allowed to socialize with them all that much because of my rank within hierarchical structure.

I started a story for the Short Shots competition but I haven't made much headway since Tuesday. I should go back to it later. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to enter since I've already won once, but it's a nice exercise. The word count limit is 1500 but I'm aiming for 5000 words at least for the first draft and then we'll see if we can either cut that back or abridge it for an entry. If not, then I'll have a 5000 word story.

I should also get back to my novel prep. Now that NaNo is over and I don't feel crushed by the weight of my crappy NaNo story, I might be able to concentrate on creating a mood and narrative for my novel. I'm struggling with finding the voice of many of the characters as I develop them. I realize I will probably have to write in the 3rd person POV which I'm not thrilled about, but I think it will be the best way to tell the story. So narrative is going to have to be key. I always feel like even in the 3rd person POV the narrator needs to have a role, a voice, a developed character in the story, even if they are totally impartial.

That's an interesting idea. I'm not the first person to make it, but it's something I've never put down into words myself. Something to think about and develop...

It's been a long time since I've written a haiku.

I'm going to lay down now.

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