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In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

May 27, 2020 at 11:38am

#984424

In which there was a birthday and a pity party

Monday was my W.com account anniversary. 19 years. I always remember it because it's also my sister's birthday. I wanted to write something. I wanted to celebrate and write about my time here in my blog and take a trip down memory lane, but I didn't any of that. For two reasons:

1) I've done it before.
2) I was feeling bad about myself because I was injured, tired from lack of exercise, annoyed at the world and feeling down about myself. Monday was an all around pity party.

Still 19 years. Off and on of course. There have been plenty of times I've abandoned this site and I've seen so many changes. But 19 years. I think that should give me some sort of seniority. I feel like strutting around and puffing out my chest.

The pity party went on for all of the weekend. Saturday, Sunday, Monday and kind of Tuesday. I was depressed about not being able to go running. Depressed because... well because. So I decided to allow for the pity party and played video games all weekend.

I'm slowly trying to wind things up again, but it's a slow process. Yesterday and today, I went for a short and very slow 6 kilometer run. My ankle still hurts but in a weird way where I'm not really sure what the injury is. I can run on it. I could probably push for a 10K if I really wanted to risk a serious injury. Yesterday it felt tender and my foot hurt but not the ankle and when the ankle started to hurt it was on the side not in the back where it had been hurting over the weekend. Today it kind of hurts in the back but not in the same way and the foot doesn't hurt. So I'm icing it after my run - which I'm currently doing now as I type this and hoping that if I just take things slow it will work itself out. I also changed up my Yoga routine to much gentler poses and stretches because I think that is what partly caused all of this. My upper back and shoulders and hips are always sore lately and I think that's because of the Yoga. I'm not used to stretching and standing up straight and my body is being forced to work muscles it hasn't worked in years.

The 6 kilometers kind of bums me out, but the most important thing to me is that I run. Not how far.

Also my knees are hurting but I wonder if that's because I don't have a yoga mat - so I ordered one because I'm tired of being in pain all the time.

My reed materials arrived yesterday so I've spent a little bit of time making reeds. I'd forgotten how long it takes. It's frustrating because I just want to play. I don't want to have to spend 3 hours a day making reeds. While I was sitting there scraping away this afternoon, I wondered if I can't get someone in the States to send me a bunch of handmade reeds because I don't really want to deal with this crap. If I was still playing seriously, I'd be more into making my own, but to just play for fun, it doesn't feel worth it. I can't order ready-made reeds from anyone here in France because they use different techniques that makes the instrument wholly unplayable for my American face. Leave it to me to become spiritually attached to the biggest pain in the ass of an instrument. I couldn't have fallen in love with the flute or the piano like a normal person.

I'm going to Paris next Thursday for the weekend. I'm not supposed to because we still have the 100km travel ban but I need my summer clothes (it's fucking hot here) and I need to get my shoe inserts from the podiatrist that I was supposed to get in March. All precautions will be taken. If I'm lucky, they'll life the travel ban tomorrow in the monthly virus state of the country address.

I've seen a lot of memes out there about how 2020 is the weirdest year ever, and I'm starting to agree with that.

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