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Saturday, May. 4, 2024

7:51pm EDT

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In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

May 4, 2020 at 5:50am

#982711

In which I've given up counting.

According to the French government, confinement is ending next Monday. Though it's still a subject of debate on how much movement we'll be allowed. We might not get out at all. I don't really care. Monday, deconfinement or not, I'm going running. Because that's what I miss the most. I just want to run. Fuck the elliptical. I could take my chances and go today. There are two old biddies right underneath my window right now, chatting like nothing is wrong. No masks, no personal space, no worries. But I'm not allowed to go running even though I won't be near, or probably even see anyone.

I try to stay out of people's business. Especially the French, who never cease to baffle me, and even more especially the Provençale who baffle me even more than a typical Frenchmen. And quite frankly if people want to take their chances getting sick and spreading the virus around, that's their problem. I can't control other people's lives and how they live them.

At the same time, it enrages me. I'm doing my part to be a good girl and help others by staying in so that we can all eventually go back to work and restart the economy and save "life as we know it." When honestly, I think we all deserve to go through another massive economic depression that would result in the deaths and starvation of millions. I believe we deserve the breakdown of society and the economy, even if it would probably mean my own death to achieve it. But I'm doing my part for others anyway. Because I know most of society isn't ready for that and won't accept it with any sort of grace or ability to rebuild and make the world a better place afterwards.

And for the past 20 minutes I've watched people walk underneath my window and chat with their friends like it's just another day. I want shout at them. I could call the cops but as I've said a thousand times, I know the cops here in Arles would do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

In other news, I haven't been writing or doing much of anything since NaNo ended. I wasn't doing much during the last week of NaNo besides putting myself on autopilot to bang out 1500 words a day. Yesterday I did try to study and actually sit in front of my computer thinking about writing. I guess that is better than nothing. The first step is always having the intention and opening the book or the blank page. I don't have much to do, so I will try again today. I don't expect to find my groove - as I mentioned in my last entry. At least not for a while. My only goal is to understand myself; understand why, when I have the desire, I cannot find the will. I refuse to accept that this is just the way it is.

I no longer allow computer games after 5pm. It was one of the causes of my being unable to sleep even if I was going to bed at a fairly reasonable hour. Around midnight is actually early for me, given that when I'm working my typical bedtime is between 2am-3am. After sleeping badly, nay I say, horribly, for three or four nights in a row I had to change something. It seems to be helping somewhat, though tonight will only be day three.

The biddies finally went their separate ways.

As I'm almost 40 I often think about at what age someone becomes a biddy. Is it 65? The age of retirement? 70? 80? Is it a state of mind? Because if it is, I'm probably already a biddy even though I look 30. When will some middle-aged women who acts like a 20-something stare out her window at me with disgust and think "ugh, that old biddy is at it again."

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