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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brucef/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: OFF
1,305 Public Reviews Given
2,371 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to read novels and biographies, so if I can review them at the same time, why not. My ratings are usually at the high end because I think if someone has taken the time and effort to write a large piece, it is an achievement. The review will give the opportunity to flag up typographic errors. I do not mark down ratings for these errors because they are easily fixed.
Favorite Item Types
Rhyming Verse. Novels and short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-rhyming poetry.
I will not review...
Erotica, Vampire and Wolf stories. Their stories are all very samey to me.
Public Reviews
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Review of The Well  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
We are back with Penny, my favourite and possibly to be the main character through the series. It was good though, to have a piece before by Brittney and maybe sometime later to give Derek a story. There is a difference in the tense between Mom and Dad: tom is tall, honey was short. I also think Honey should have a capital. Just a thought, maybe the children's descriptions would be better in the present tense was-is, were-are, got-get. There is a lot going on in this chapter making it an interesting and enjoyable read.
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102
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am enjoying these little stories. They remind me of reading in my childhood. The characters change in this part, and we see things through Brittney's P.O.V, which works well. I noted a couple of bits I was unsure of: ( I hopped out of, ran around to the back,) seems to have a word/s missing, and ( I was too short to get the line I'm.). These tales are really good and I look forward to reading more.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Again, I notice how different it seems to write stories for younger people. It is like an education to me. I don't know if I could write in that way without straying back to writing for an adult reader. The story about the family continues nicely. The separate parts have been stand-alone items which is a good idea. I noticed no errors, however, I thought : ("it's what we do.") looked out of place. I think capitalising (It's) and putting I added or I continued, would feel better, to me anyway.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a good, interesting, little read. A great number of people like the Downton series, myself included. It shows life from the gentry but also follows the stories of the servants. It seems that you enjoyed the tea party and I would sure like to have been there too.
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105
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is something different. The telepathic italics came across well and I was easily able to follow what was going on. I found the first chapter interesting and once started I had to read it through as it did not lose any interest in me. However, I found some of it not to my personal liking. I did get a bit confused at times as there is a lot to take in. The colours have weird names and even giving the sci-fi element I cannot see why red is not red and black is not black. Also, and this is of course a personal opinion, whenever vampires or werewolves are mentioned I do not read any following chapters. It is the same with time travel. It puts me off if characters travel back in time as I see it as an impossibility even in sci-fi. The well-known novel,"The Time Machine", gets away with it because the whole story is about the machine and is more of a fantasy than a sci-fi, in my opinion. Summing up it is a very good read and I did enjoy reading it. I cannot give it a low rating because of my own opinion and preferences so I will give a rating on the quality of the writing, which I feel is very high.
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106
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A nice piece of rhyming poetry. The font makes it easy to read and the content gives a very good visual of a tramp of the times.
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107
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have made a good start to the story. It goes along nicely without any boring or repetitive bits. It comes to a satisfying end and I have no idea how it will continue; which is a good thing as it prompts me to find out. The writing is good and I noticed no mistakes or typo's. Presentation. You can ignore this if you wish as it is not a criticism, just a way I like to present my chapters on here. Firstly increase the font size. Top right you will see a cog-wheel. Select it to edit text. Highlight all the chapter then on the display panel select size 5. Next scroll to the bottom and select advance and then click on double space paragraphs. Finally continue to the bottom and select Save and View. I use the indent to begin all paragraphs but it is a bit laborious and not really necessary. Finally, well done with this and welcome to WDC.
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108
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A very well-written short with an interesting theme. I spotted no errors or typos, allowing me to continue through the story uninterrupted. The main character gets the sympathy, I believe, of the reader. The last line would be a good hook if the story were to continue. However, to me it has an Alfred Hitchcock feel about it where the reader has to imagine what happens after the end of the text.
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109
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am impressed by this one. It is my type of poem. It has reasonable rhymes, and they don't seem forced or out of place. The similarity between a caged bird and a trapped lover comes across well, to me anyway. I look forward to reading more from you.
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Review of The Fall  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A cracking little poem with a feel-good thread throughout. It is easy to read and understand. I would say "fills me with delight" instead of "fills me with might." But of course, it is your choice. I enjoyed the read and noticed no errors or typo's.
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111
Review of The Magical Charm  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You have the potential to create a good story. I enjoyed the read and it kept my attention. However, it needs some work. A space after every line seems a bit strange. There are places where a comma is used in the wrong place. Example:"got the formula right, she looked at the purple potion". Might be better to start a new sentence: "formula right. She looked at".Introduction in dialogue needs a comma as in "Oh, hi, Cher! Also "showed of (off) her hair." "I tried to (two) of the droplets". "they both walked out the door" I would delete the second both and the extra speech mark at the start of the sentence. It seems a lot but if you go through it you should try to spot where two separate sentences are separated by a comm. This may seem a lot but don't be downhearted because it is all fixable and you will find your work improves the more you write and get reviews. I rate this item on the story which is quite a good start. Hope you do get to continue.
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Review of The Turkey  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a charming piece of writing. This short-short has a feel-good theme and is quite funny. I do like the way he met his mate and they feasted on the corn. We tend to forget that animals have a life, especially when we are tucking into our own dinners.
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Review of Bus Stop Blues  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like a poem that entertains and this certainly fits the bill. I feel as if I am the person at the bus stop and that is a good plus point. I could not see any typo's or errors but would not wish to as this piece stands on its own quite well. Well done with this interesting and enjoyable piece.
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114
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The group return to the tree and I expected them to be caught. They didn't and it is always good when I am proved wrong. This is the last chapter displayed so far. Will it be continued? I don't know, but if it is I will be pleased to see what happens. It has been an enjoyable read and something different in the thread. Well done with this. In the last sentence should suck read as such?
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115
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The new wizard people have mixed ideas which makes for a good thread. Also Sora seems uninterested in taking the throne which comes as a surprise but also gets my interest as I feel he will change his mind at some time. What is for sure is that there is possibly some danger ahead in the next chapter. Must read on. No errors or typo were spotted.
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116
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The journey continues and new characters come along at about the right time. The reader will be left wondering if these new people will be for the good or for the bad as hints are given for both options. I can't comment on spelling due to country differences but I think "Her's was an oak color" doesn't need an apostrophe. "Arwin moved his to move his staff" seems an error. A good hook at the end prompts me to read the next chapter to find out if the new people are friendly or not.
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117
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lots going on in this chapter and we get a small reference to the side characters. I admit that I have a slight difficulty merging the two parts of the tale together as it seems all about the fairies and not so much about the plot that Yasmin is there to follow as a side character. Nevertheless, it is a good enjoyable read. I noticed: "Grass growing and leave near the window." Should this be leaves? "Angel(s) were the perfect rulers." "Slowly and quietly they surrounded the buzzwasp." Perhaps remove "slowly" as it seems unlikely that the buzzwasp would be caught if they moved slowly. I like the bit where Yasmin wakes and thinks for a moment she is in her room. Still enjoying the read as it seems like something different from the norm.
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118
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This chapter fleshes out the surroundings and gives us an insight into the lives of the characters. Although this was an interesting and well-written chapter, I can not see how it equates to the original idea of "A side character". Perhaps more will be revealed in the next chapter. Towards the end, there seemed to be a lot of fairy names and I was a bit confused at times. That said, it was an enjoyable read.
119
119
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This seems more complex and different from the previous non-chapter item. The story comes over well and can be followed enough to make it an entertaining read. The storyline itself seems refreshingly original for a fantasy. The next stage of the story is about to begin and that is a good hook for the reader to consider continuing. A couple of typo's, perhaps: "get this boy to me my family." and "a week nod" weak.
Just a preference in my work is to put a bitem at the end so the reader can go straight to the next chapter.
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120
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am always looking for something different, some new angle. I have found that in this piece. This prompts me to take a look at my own side characters and their existence. The fantasy is interesting and well-written. Would the story so far cause me to read more. I believe it does.
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121
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good and entertaining first piece on here. Who doesn't like and have fond memories of their grandparents, hopefully? If you go onto the edit wheel, top right on your item's heading. Go down to Advanced and select double spacing and the item will look more presentable and be easier to read. Welcome to WDC.
122
122
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an interesting piece of writing. Centering on a cemetery with the deceased all about the place. Death is, of course, sad but this tale seems to see through the sadness with a message of care and understanding of those who went before. I spotted no typo's and enjoyed the read.
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123
Review of YoungTown  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
It seems a bit disjointed at places where it jumps forward without explanation, but due to the high quality of the writing, I assume that it is intended that way. The outlaws arrive but we don't hear from them until four of them are locked up in jail. There is a typo at: "We (With)all the supplies". It seems more like an outline for a longer story than a completed short story. Nevertheless, it is well written and an interesting read. The ending is a nice surprise.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
An interesting factual read about Anne Boleyn. It reminded me of my box-set "The Tudors" where Anne Boleyn is played by the talented Natalie Dormer (Game of Thrones and Mockingjay plus other parts). Also stars British singer/actress Joss Stone as Anne of Cleaves. Time I got the box-set out again.
125
125
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good names for the characters and Grace Serket drew me into the story right away. This is a very good taster. It puts questions into the mind of the reader that may prompt them to read on to find the answers. The mix of dialogue and narrative is fine. Maybe put the item into a few paragraphs to make it look more presentable on the page. It is refreshing to see young skilled writers developing their writing skills on here, and this is the place to do it. Welcome to WDC.
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