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151
151
Review of Forever Real  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I am mentioning what would work better for me, personally. However, the final decision is yours. Do what you deem best.


Concept:
nice, real.

Content:
a bit confusing coz of few errors and way you have stylised your sentences.

Form:
confusing. rhymes at some places, not at others.

Flow:
Obstructed.

Suggestions:

I don't get new clothes to impress,
just to dress.

I know you were trying to rhyme and it did so well. but the shortness of line obstructs the flow. see if you can strech it a bit more ot abandon it.


Always gotta watch my bad,

Do u mean "back"?"


Why waste time to "people understand."

I can grasp what you meant but you can;t do it without being in the wrong.


Wishing for that one moment of a little bit of peace.
use either 'one moment' or 'little bit'. not both. formersounds better.


Trying to see what everyone wants strain my neck.
"straining" my neck?

everyone thinks you're trying to act hood.
wud u want to replace "hood" with cool? i cant grasp meaning of hood.

No reason to look fly???? cant seem to understand this, nor the last line.

I wish you can break up your poem into various stanzas and then think about the lines too

all the best.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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152
152
Review of Eternal Ring  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am mentioning what would work better for me, personally. However, the final decision is yours. Do what you deem best.

First Impression:
Saw your request on the request review page. The title and tagline seemed nice enough for me to visit.

Concept:
Very innovative, original and nice.

Content:
Hmm, it is nice but I think it can do much better, especially when you ahve such great way with words. Just a little polish to shine those ornaments. ;)

Form:
Free flow poetry. Since I write this kind, I don;t have any problems with it till it flows well.

Flow:
It could be improved much more than it is at present.

Suggestions:
What I liked best about your writing was your imagination, the imagery your words created and the lovely and powerful words you used.

What I did not like was the obstructed flow and the very uneven lines that made it difficult for words to fly off my lips.


What I think can work better:

"Its liquid sun trapped inside,"

i think the line would do great without 'its'.

"As the thousand angles dance along the edge."

Would you like to start your line here? It seems better if the immediately preeceding one had a comma and continued with this.


My heart force its way towards it,
did you mean "forces"?

"as I slide
the thin Rim of Love onto the binding flesh with an aura that screams forever."

would you like to change the way these lines have been broken, trying to balance the length? for example:

"as I slide the thin Rim of Love
onto the binding flesh
with an aura that screams forever."


"The redness of my heart is seen through my skin,"

You can do much better with words here, i am sure. "redness of heart" just doesnt sound so well.

"Sadly my heaven cannot follow me." can do better without "my"


"as it search for an escape.' searches?

.
"That unmistakable shine, always find my heart." finds?


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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153
153
Review of Together  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am mentioning what would work better for me, personally. However, the final decision is yours. Do what you deem best.

Short, simple and sweet.

Concept: nice.

Content: to little for depth. but striking nevertheless.

Errors: No grammatical or other errors.

Suggestions:
Would you like to add something more to it?

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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154
154
Review of Drowned  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am mentioning what would work better for me, personally. However, the final decision is yours. Do what you deem best.

Well, the title drew me in.

The starting of the poem furthered it. I was amazed at the great rhyme and the lovely flow.

Each stanza brought the feeling of danger lurking nearby.

However, frankly saying, the last two lines struck a hard blow on my enthusiam, waiting and left me pretty disappointed.

I couldn;t relate all those scary feelings with the want to stop the rain. Is that it?, I asked myself. Reading and re-reading the poem for something hidden and deep that I failed to grasp. But I couldnt find it. Am I missing something?


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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155
155
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your poem sums up everything that you needed to give out and gives it out, oh so well!

The dificulty of the game of chess matched so well with your equally difficult words. ;)

The description is good and so is the imagery.

Though, am not that much into chess, so that explains why I got a little bored towards the end.

But the enthusiasm shown by the poem makes one atleast make an effort to understand.

And that's the most a good writing can do. You score highly on that point.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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156
156
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This review has been anonymously gifted to you.


Ha! Ha! Loved it!

The last time I wrote a limmerick was i school for an english class. And after that day, this is first time, I am reading one. It is inspiring me to start writing some of my own. Thanks for the inspiration! :)

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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157
157
Review of The Angels Came  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This review has been anonymously gifted to you.


Heart- tugging, yes, absolutely.

Full of feelings..painful..touching.

The rhyme is perfect and so is the flow.

Yet another delightful and soul-moving read! Thank you!

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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158
158
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This review has been anonymously gifted to you.

You have a nice story there. Nice concept, beautiful descriptions bringing to mind, vivid images, as if a movie is going on. That is a really strong point of your writing.

A few sugestions:

I notice that you use the word 'of' in many places where it is not required. Also, I am mentioning a few more suggestions, that work better for me, personally, However, the final decision is yours. Do what you deem best.


With a shrug[, a comma is required here] he placed his jacket in the bin and sat down in the aisle seat.

Maria was enthralled as he talked about his job and all ['of' is not required] the places he traveled and time passed quickly.

She’d just called the travel agent and they’d made all [of] her arrangements.

She looked up at him, her eyes misty[,] [and] her voice choked by emotion, and simply nodded.

As they sat side-by-side sipping black coffee[,] the mood in the booth turned somber.

Everyone back home would think I [was] am completely crazy!

'"i am" seems more appropriate here.

They’d never understand the feeling of a deep ageless bond she’d [had from the start.] felt.

I feel as if I’d been waiting for you all [of] my life.”

[All] during the flight home she tried to reason with her aching heart.

All [of] her life Maria had dreamed of being a writer.

In all, Liked it. especially the imagery.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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159
159
Review of Shade of Gray  
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This review is gifted anonymously to you.


Deep, heartfelt, painful..

The second stanza, in particular, was very 'pulling'.

Rhyme and flow are good.

Suggestion: in the last line, the word 'becomes' somehow breaks the lovely flow for me, personally. 'became', i think would sound nicer, to my ears. But that's a personal opinion, please do as you deem best.


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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160
160
Review of Tell Not A Soul.  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! Amazing!

So real, so true, something I can identify with, especially at the beggining.

Deep, full of feelings... real..

Very well done!

A great job!

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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161
161
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Gosh!!! This one raised my heart beat and left me lurking in fear..

Woah!! I was horrified at what he did! 'How could he'..I was just hoping he wouldn't, but he did.

The stroy was very engrossing and I was 'in' there.

What a great job!

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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162
162
Review of NOAH'S ARC  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, very interesting concept.

Very 'alive' description. Made me 'be there' with you and witness it all.

Made for an interesting read.

Suggestion:
For forty days and forty nights[,] rain clouds have been in motion


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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163
163
Review of "Wishbone Dream"  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Woah!!

Deep, painful and heartfelt. Very touching, disturbing....

Words fall short to say... what I feel right now.

There's so much depth in here.

I loved the way you write.. so real.. so intense.. so vividly described and felt within.

love the words you used.


A few grammatical suggestions:

What I put in [ ] is, according to me, not needed. I add the replacing word near it or nothing if not required.


'A [faze] phase of life caught in a dark web.'

Thought[']s of a puzzle with a hopeful prayer

[actually,] no one knew the plans I longed to share.

I can not [breeth] breathe any longer

a reality ceases to be, what do [these] this truly mean?

Brittle and frail[e] I sense to be keeping me ill, why can't I see


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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164
164
Review of What I Know  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This review is a part of your shower from Showering Acts of Joy.

Well, I wonder where the concept came from.

Very different and yeah, some things did apply to me :)

but why is that 'who are you really?' are these the things that define a person, oh so well, than many other things. is that your opinion? what you meant to say?


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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165
165
Review of Read the Real Me  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This review is a part of your shower from Showering Acts of Joy.

Well, so true indeed, for you and for everyone out there.

In fact, I could so easily use quite the same words for me.

simply written, truly so, and very relevant.

loved the phrases:-

'hide myself behind painted smiles and phony laughter'

'picture of my soul'


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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166
166
Review of This Craziness  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This review is a part of your shower from Showering Acts of Joy.

Heartfelt, painful and deep.

It touches something deep within, moves me.

Written straight from the heart, it reaches effortlessly to mine and stays there. evoking a surge of emotions that can not be expressed in mere words.... it can only be felt..just as you did, when you wrote this.

Take care.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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167
167
Review of My Own Rainbow  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This review is a part of your shower from Showering Acts of Joy.

Loved the concept, the words and especially the smooth flow of the poem. Amazing!

You use simple words and feelings straight from the heart and they manage to have the 'just' right impact.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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168
168
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This review is a part of your shower from Showering Acts of Joy. :)

Deeply moving and felt. Love the imagery of nature. Vivid.

The word 'haunted' has a powerful effect and rightly so, in the context of the poem.

A suggestion:

The second line has a repetition of the word 'again', which did not sound so well to MY ears, though it's usage is appropriate as far as the context goes. (Personal opinion).

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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169
169
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! Left me breathless! A complete masterpiece!!!

Amazing! extremely well written!

Loved the concept, the innovative way you have dealt it with. Loved it from beginning till the end.

The only thing that did not work in my favor were long sentences without any breaks in between. They made my task, a little difficult but the flow made me almost ignorant to it.

Lovely!!

I really enjoyed reading this! :)
Thanks

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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170
170
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, it has tired me...

searching for the hidden.. i went fish for fish.. but still couldnt solve the problem.. its making me restless.. please.. oh..please do let me know..

i loved the vivid imagery and the wide knowledge about fish.. but i couldnt get to the real thing..which was what i wanted. :(

Suggestions (personal opinion):

She traveled all over from East to West.
How many of them she bought from stores
she went to is unknown,
for nobody knows how many stores she went to.
[this para has some repetition that doesnt sound too great to MY ears]


i believe the following are typing mistakes but if they aren't, ignore them:

There are fish stories and poems
but wheRe are the fish pictures on here?

the light hollow treE log,

the favorite place oF swimming and non-swimming fish.

Beware of sharks, friendly anD unfriendly,

to discover[ing] the fish that we don't know exists,
[the word 'discover' makes more sense to ME].


Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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171
171
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! Amazing~ full of feelings, touching.

I love the way the rhyming seems so effortless and yet it is so flawless.

Reading this brought me very close to some of my feelings in the past and I could really identify well with it.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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172
172
Review of Reality  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
well, yeah, the sadness and hopelessness shines through.. a very real portrait of your feelings.. nice imagination.

Suggestions:

i wish those few lines were not repeated as much as they were. I understand their importance and the emphasis on it but it was much more than i could bear.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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173
173
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
well, a nice one there.

my fav lines

"On it was the morning dew and the tears of our love.
As I took it gently from your shaking hand,
I heard God whisper to His angels,
“My masterpiece is complete”."


loved the end actually.

Suggestion:
My personal opinion: I did not really liked the endless repetition of the words 'our love'. it became stale and boring for me.

The fall leaves [had] crumbled and fell

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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174
174
Review of Live in me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Prayer for strength and patience, trust and love.

Liked the way you have chosen words and woven them into this poem.

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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175
175
Review of Porch Dreams  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, enchanting one.. I liked the concept so much and couldn't prevent myself from wondering if this was non-fiction and real.

Mesmerizing.. love the vivid imagery ..

Write on!

Cheers!
Christina

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