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201
Review of Passing Of Time  
Review by dblameck (David)
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Passing of Time

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Yes it is all going to end. Life as we know will be a thing of the past. The sun will become super hot and then dwindle.
Mankind will not we writing poetry then.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Two verses of five lines each.
Rhyming scheme on the first verse is A A B A B The rhyming scheme is not continued in the second verse.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good poem. Good reminder.


dblameck
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202
202
Review of The Sweet Shop  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Sweet Shop

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a woman who owns a sweet shop and has spent the day giving away samples. She does not eat samples but still gains weight She starts many fad diets. As each person eats their sample the woman goes through the motions of eating.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ovia owns the Sweet Shop and Zia is her son who stops her from eating a Chocolate Creation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Interesting Story.

dblameck
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203
203
Review of Nothing  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)



Review of Nothing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman is in pain and the doctors don;t know why, Nothing seems to work and she therefore shuffles around because pain seems even worse when you don't move. Her other half is in pain of heart because he can do nothing to ease her pain.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Written in free verse. thirty-six lines.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A lot of feeling in these words.You express the inner pain of the spouse so well.

dblameck
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204
204
Review of The Boon  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of The Boon

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A misshapened character goes to the Lord of the land to ask for help because he is tired to being laughted at. They have some sympathy for him and the court sorcerer does some changes to make into some sort of monster (This is what I got out of this reading but I may be wrong).

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Very detailed story and exacting character descriptions.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.

dblameck
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205
205
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of October Challenge

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems to me that all the plot information has been accumulated here to aid the author in furthering the development of the fine aspects of the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The material is complex and the characters have been created in order to promote the correct historical era (1980) and complete the rest of the planned story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Go for it. You have everything ready.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I am pleased and impressed with your preparation.

dblameck
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206
206
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)



Review of Valentine Day 2019

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Since it is now over we can say it was the unluckiest day. You need to make sentences. Periods break thoughts.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

characters are shallow and need more interaction.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

close friend should be close friends
Finish should be finished
hell did I done wrong should be what did I do wrong.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing.

dblameck
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207
207
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of Over and Over Again

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A prelude to what I expect will be a scary story filled with strange and hidden aspects of this old house. There is a lot here and in a sense I felt like there was too much for the opening chapter.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

In the first sentence you have already personified the house (house was looming)ed. You have lumped together the description of the house, the surrounding area, some of the agreement to stay there and some of the past history of the house.

All this is too much at one time. Separate paragraphs and maybe even separate chapters for the more important items.

You also seem adverse to using commas. Spacing between paragraphs is a simple tool to organize different elements and make them stand out from each other.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A lot of good stuff here. Organize it in a logical order and create a masterpiece.

dblameck
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208
208
Review of Writer's Block  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Writer's Block

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good story. a young writer writes about something that is happening in his family even if he does not know what it is.
It causes him problems because it is an adult situation.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

His mother is having sex with the next door neighbour. Mr. Kates and his mother become the characters that are causing this writer his blockage, Once he understand the block is gone.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

good story well told.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep sharing.

dblameck
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209
209
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Running Back to You

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A flash fiction romance story about a man trying to regain a lost love. The way to do that is filled with many roadblocks which slow him down. In the end when it looks like he is going to fail.
She comes forward walking to him.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters are not named.
He is the main character and he seems to be totally disorganized. So much so he has problems getting dressed.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Obviously having to follow a script from a song (guess) is difficult. You have done well.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work.

dblameck
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210
210
Review of She Lives  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of She Lives

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A detailed retelling of the story of the woman at the well from the Gospel of John chapter four. This is considered to be an important indication of Jesus' message to also be for women and non-jews.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The woman must go to fill her water jugs in the middle of the day because she is not accepted by the other women.
Jesus tells her about Living Water and this brings out his message.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue the story into the disciples and their grasp of this important event.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

well written story.

dblameck
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211
211
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of I've Been Looking For You

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A flash fiction story of a doctor doing a procedure to remove a tiny alien from a person's body.
He has already done two similar operations successfully. This one is giving him a problem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Dr.Keith Rose is the surgeon with an experienced team.
Ginette Willis is the patient.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I think a description of the small alien once it has been found in the body would add more fright to the story.
ie a green snakelike creature about four inches long with razor sharp teeth.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.

dblameck
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212
212
Review of snowtime  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Snowtime

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A winter storm is thrust into spring.
The world is expecting warm breezes and flowers but is buried under snow.

POETRY INFORMATION:

free verse

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Thank you for sharing.

dblameck
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213
213
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Two Kinds of Spring

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Two Modern cinquain form poems about two aspects of that season. Spring a time of renewal and rebirth, and spring a time for robust change.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poet thoughtfully provides the poetic form information.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Nothing that I can see.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.

dblameck
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214
214
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of The Forbidden Spell

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem that i enjoyed. There is a witch who is greater than the other three. She seems to have been taken apart and now through some spell she is reforming piece by piece.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poem is free verse. I read several times.
I found like most poems it is best when read aloud. I can imagine it read by Vincent Price in a slow almost spooky voice.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Record it. Play it along with some other spooky Halloween sounds.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It brings a slight chill that runs down your spine.

dblameck
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215
215
Review of Escapism  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Escapism

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story is hard to unravel. I am patient but this was too prolonged. An expedition of some planet where wierd creatures who are telepathic capture them.
Then it all turns about are the are able to control them by their dreams.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Rolf and Lucille are humans but Rolf is the main character.
The inhabitants of the planet are Beakers.
There is anger and they are in opposition.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More detail might be helpful.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

thank you for your work.

dblameck
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216
216
Review of Mother God Mobile  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Mother God Mobile

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Having taken a medication to relax the mind flits through many different things (this is my experience) This poem seems to be a possible listing of some person's random thoughts.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Free verse. There were a lot of action words used.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I think this is best listened to with one's eyes closed.

dblameck
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217
217
Review of Branford  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem written after attending a jazz concert.
It seems the pace of the music played a large part in the desirability of the content of the concert.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Three verses of four lines each. There is a random rhyming pattern.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Extend your poem.



dblameck
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218
218
Review of Wolf  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Wolf

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about a wolf and his mate. They do not seem to be a part of a pack. Their is a resemblance to a human couple in the way they are acting.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Free verse

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good read. Keep writing.

dblameck
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219
219
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of The Legend of Wild Bill

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem comprised of rhyming couplets that tell the story of Wild Bill Hickcock

POETRY INFORMATION:

fifteen four line verses each a reprise of Wild Bill... The rhyming scheme of each verse is A A B B.
This poem could probably best be sung as a ballad.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. This is well done.

dblameck
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220
220
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Poet in Passing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
As a poet you have in your possession the possibility to perceive the portion of platitudes that are usually reserved for prisoners of prolonged rapture.

POETRY INFORMATION:

You seem to have captured one letter of the alphabet.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Well done.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed it.

dblameck
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221
221
Review of Research  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)






Review of Research

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

there is a lot of material here. I am unsure how to connect it all or even why it was collected. There are 3,889 words in this expanse of data.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Numerous characters and I suppose all having something to do with the Christian church.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A purpose statement would be beneficial.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I really don't know what to think.

dblameck
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222
222
Review by dblameck (David)
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Words That Reached My Soul

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I've read those three articles; the family reunion poem which reminded me of past days that I fear will never come again, the paper boy with the interaction between Bernard and Billy, it made me cry and by the time I had read it the third time my face was wet. The last of stories was a little different however just as powerful a piece. It also created within me a resolve to be a better man in this universe of diversity.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A great cast in these stories. I plan to carefully review each story so to bring honour to each writer.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep sharing with us the things that you have found that move your world and thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This piece deserves a portfolio raid to see if I can gleem even more gems.

dblameck
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223
223
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)



Review of Proof Western Style

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Quick straight forward action.

Just like the gunfight that the story is about.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two shootists, both think they are the best.
Only one way to find out who is the fastest.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Add a "BANG"

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Short but good.

dblameck
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224
224
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Loneliest Place

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What is the loneliest place? this poem seems to infer that the graveyard with the resting place of the dead is just that.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poem is written in free verse and with short distinct lines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It is a strong piece because of the epitaphs that are mentioned.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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225
225
Review of February 29th  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of February 29th

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems like a weather report.
It is likely of course that winter will still firmly entrenched in our lives. Since we only have to endure this extra day once every four years makes it a wee bit more bearable.

POETRY INFORMATION:

This poem is written in free verse.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thankyou for sharing.

dblameck
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