This is written well. I know it's fiction but it is very true to life. My ex-husband jokes about getting old being so much fun because you meet new people everyday, but it's really not funny. Memory loss is a terrible thing.
You've done a great job writing this little tribute to your friend. However, I got a little lost somewhere (it's probably the reader and not the author). I think I remember something about the Bridges of Madison County, but don't know what that has to do with a photographer or National Geographic magazine. (I feel like such a dummy!
Nest,<--Oops! I think you meant to say next I turned off the phone and the computer
It was the ringing of the phone that awakened me. Connie calling to check on meI'm not sure about this; it may be totally acceptable in the publishing world, but I'm thinking that since the second sentence is a sentence fragment, you might want to use ; at the end of the first sentence and add the fragmented sentence as a clause. Or you could leave the two sentences and say "Connie was calling
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
Nice little puzzle. This was uplifting because all the words were happy words. Usually, I do fine until the last couple words. But this time, I had no problem.
It's nice to be able to take a break from all the serious reading and writing once in awhile and do something like this.
This is a very uplifting piece. You've spoken a lot of truth in it. The best way to encourage one's self is to do something encouraging for someone else or have happy thoughts. I find it helps if I'll look for a little humor in things.
Your last line pretty much sums it up. I have a story in my port called Count Your Blessings that back up your theory.
The only thing I change I would suggest is this: You start out with these words "If we are discouraged", but then in the rest of the verse you say "you". I might be better to say "If you're discouraged. Just a suggestion.
I did find one error that I've listed below.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Coz that’s the way to a heart{/x]’s{/x} that’s depressed
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. You've used good sentence structure; no sentence fragments or run-on-sentences.
You're title caught my eye and you held my interest from the beginning to the end.
You've spoken truth. Not only do we find ourselves too busy with our work and family but sometimes we get so busy working (in the church) that we fail to have our quiet time with God. We can get so busy doing "God's" work that we fail to do what He actually wants us to.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this little poem. You did a great job writing this. This is a subject most of us don't like to think about.
I live in an apartment complex for the elderly and disabled. The apartments are all in the same building (similar to a hotel or nursing home). Many of our tenants should not be living alone and sometimes they have to ask for directions back to their apartments. It's really sad. We had one who moved out recently. While he was here, not only did he not know his friends and neighbors but would have to ask us who he was.
The only thing I found wrong with this poem is the first word in the last line; Cause. I'm not sure how to correct it unless you write 'Cause, showing that there are letters left out.
You've given a good description of the 9/11 tragedy.
This has proven to be very interesting and educational. Your description is good. Your essay is written with strong sentence structure; no sentence fragments or run-on-sentences.
I take it that the story behind this little piece of poetry is true. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. You held my interest and I could envision what was happening. Sounds like someone had a good lawyer. There are still a few good ones left.
This began as an interesting story, but as I read I found quite a few errors which are distracting.
You might want to do like I often do and read this aloud slowly, looking for typos. Check for words that need to be spaced between. I found several of those; one or two that I listed below. Also check for run-on-sentences.
This is a good story and I think with the needed corrections, you will get great reviews.
She and cChad had gone to their favorite little holes<--I'm not sure, but I don't think this should be plural in the wall.
she had a feeling theat Lorr would play with the boxes at Christmas
Lorr giggled and held her hands up to her mommy, demanding, in a rather innocent way, theyat she be carried, now.<--Too many commas. This might even read better if broken down to two sentences.
So proud infact<--should be two words.
the kids were going with mommy. When using the word mommy as a name (rather than a title) Mommy should be capatilized. Example: the kids were going with Mommy or the kids were going with theirmommy.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. You've made three very touching wishes. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had three wishes and used them wisely? There would be hardly no suffering that way.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
I found no typos or misspelled words in this and you certainly held my interest from beginning to end. I just wanted to see more photos.
I don't see how anyone sharing stories about their grandchildren could possibly deserve less than a 5. Then again, I might just be prejudiced since I'm a grandmother.
"A slow answer turneth away wrath"...is that the lesson Nana was sending out?
I love this! I found no typos or misspelled words. You've written a beautiful tribute to your mother. I always like to see mother's honored (maybe because I am one, huh?)
I like the answer your mom gave to your question (I won't give it away because someone might review my review and decide to read for themself). I also like what you said to her in the end of this poem.
Wow! What a story. I found only one error in this. You've used strong sentence structure; no sentence fragments or run-on sentences. You held my interest from the beginning to the end.
When it had started sucking the breath from their lungs they had decided to cut their losses and wait for the beast to tire.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this. You've written about some one I think the world of. I love to watch her show. It seems like she's always doing great things for others. She's come a long way and that just shows that perseverance pays off.
I don't know why, but this gave me goosebumps. Your description said this is fantasy, so I'm taking it that it's not true. But it sure was an enjoyable read.
I really enjoyed reading this piece.
If there were any errors, I overlooked them because I was so engrossed in what I was reading.
I have read lots of poetry that just didn't make sense to me (since I'm no pro at reading or writing poetry), but this has a story and it rings out loud and clear.
I found this to be very sad, yet heartwarming. I especially like the ending.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Usually, I do fine until the last couple words. But this time, I had no problem.
