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654 Public Reviews Given
686 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of untitled  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, faateh , and welcome to WDC!

This is only my opinion, so please keep what you like and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
Nice poem with an easy rhyme. I liked the imagery of the sky. Do animals have shame? What is beating like the sound of a cane? The repeat at the end brings it around real well.

Suggested Improvements
in line 5, Marching doesn't need to be capitalised.
In line 9, there's an extra space between voices and the comma.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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52
52
Review of Seasons  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, KaylyanRaye , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "Seasons" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
I'm not sure why every word is capitalised, but the effect is distracting.
The lines can be much tighter also, as to not be wordy.
Line 1, remove as.
Line 2, remove it is.
Line 4, crops instead of food.
Line 8, where should be we're.
Line 9, cherashing should be cherishing.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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53
53
Review of The Perfect Rose  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Tessa J , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "The Perfect Rose" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
Very succinct poem, yet leaves me thinking about the subjectiveness of perfection. Sight is not always the same.

Flow & Style
The first line sounds too bulky and doesn't flow well. How about rearranging the words to, The perfect rose is only perfect the moment its beauty is revealed to you.

The next line, comma after moment.


Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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54
54
Review of Silent Witness  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Humming Bird !

I'm here to give your poem, "Silent Witness" , a Simply Positive Review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
I thought this was a sad story of a girl kept isolated through her grandmother's fear. The use of the mirror as the storyteller was clever.

I didn't understand this line, Success is the bridge that connects me to the other side of my beautiful mistress. Is it that the girl talks to the mirror because she has no one ele whom she can talk with?

Grammar & Construction
Paragraph two, eight-year-old.
Paragraph three, I think the sentence would read much better if you remove instead and moved nowadays to the front of the sentence.
Paragraph four, I think you can place a comma after times.

Nice story. Thanks for sharing!


--Wyn

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55
55
Review of Live It Up  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, Lane , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "Live It Up" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Initial Impressions
Interesting poem, although seeminly contradictory. You say nobody gets life for free, yet it seems that someone else gets everything they have for free. Still, there is a good message to your words.

Flow & Style
Very nice, with a lyrical quality.

Suggested Improvements
Even if you don't want to use commas, I think you should use apostrophes. Some words without them have different meanings than those with them.

if your scared
Should be you're.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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56
56
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Irisisflower , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "Swinging on a porch" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Initial Impressions
What a nice way to spend a relaxing afternoon, or even taking a short break from the day.

Flow & Style
The poem flowed well, very leisurely.

Suggested Improvements
None that I can think of.

Thanks for sharing.

--Wyn

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57
57
Review of crumby steps  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello, Johnny cue , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your "crumby steps"  a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Initial Impressions
This seems like a dream put to words. Is there meaning in these images that need to be deciphered?

Grammer & Punctuation
There are several spaces missing between words. You need to capitalise i. There should be an apostrophe in im. Idk should be spelled out; people may not know what you want to say.

Suggested Improvements
More editing and perhaps more detail about the basis of your piece.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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58
58
Review of Pigeon Parade  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Harry !

I'm here to give your poem, "Pigeon Parade" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
This was an interesting view on a bird I think people largely ignore (probably because they are so commonplace). The poem speaks of finding beauty, even in what may be considered dull and grey. Is the male pigeon telling us to not dwell on failure? Good lesson to impart if it is.

Flow & Style
To me, the poem read more like paragraphs. I was barrelling along from one line to the next, only to stop for periods.

Thanks for sharing!


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59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Joy !

I'm here to give your, "Chess Players in Central Park" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
As a not-so-avid chess player, I really enjoyed your poem. A warm day in the park can always see people hunched over tables, concentrating on pieces.
I liked your second stanza very much. Retirement doesn't mean one should fade to obscurity, and what better way of keeping the mind sharp than battling wits with another.

Flow & Style
Written in free verse, I think the poem flows well from one line to the next, one move to the next.

Suggested Improvements
First stanza, third line, I think you're missing the before leaves.

Thanks for sharing!

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60
60
Review of Life begins  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Webbman , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "Life begins" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
I absolutely love the imagery of this piece. Everything, is focused on the woman while all else is periferral. It's like staring at a beautiful goddess as she walks towards you, unable to move, breathe, or blink. Suddenly, she is there, and you find yourself again.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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61
61
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, LoveYukon , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "At The Bottom of The Sea" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
This poem speaks to me of temptation, and giving in to something we know we shoudn't. Like a siren song, the depths of the sea is calling. Just a little longer, like some drug, until escapeis neither possible nor desired.

Flow & Style
A few of the lines are a bit bulky, and some of the commas can be replaced by periods or semi-colons.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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62
62
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, JACE , and congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  win.

Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the JRR Tolkien Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you are receiving this honour!

Review of
 The Accidental Visit  (E)
A tourist passing through gets an unexpected break.
#1584829 by JACE


This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
If I were to use one word to describe this story, I think it would have to be charming. Mike is polite and hospitable to a complete stranger. The small town has only two stop lights, yet has an active theatre troupe and what sounds like a coffeeshop that can rival Starbucks. Cedric seems like a charming, friendly gent as well.

Grammar & Construction
The pace the story was smooth and no point of the narrative seemed bogged down.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn - missing III

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63
63
Review of Old Glory  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, Mara ♣ McBain !

I'm here to give your, "Old Glory" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
Your story shows how easy it is for freedom to be taken for granted. It was emotional, with the flashback, the mother, and the ranger. Perhaps the people who know it best are the ones most directly affected by war.

Thanks for sharing!

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64
64
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Sticktalker !

I'm here to give your story, "All Over But The Singing" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
The start of the story had me wondering who these supposed "omniscient" people were. Good job with revealing their identity and the setting. How Ted didn't know the date of his execution is beyond me. The opening paragraph has me thinking he's a bit clueless though.

Nice flash, though I keep thinking, no last meal?

Thanks for sharing!

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65
65
Review of Be my everything  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Lonewolf , and congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  win.

Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Frost Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you are receiving this honour!

Review of
Be my everything  (13+)
A message of love.
#1551025 by Lonewolf


This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
This poem is a beautiful declaration of love. It is an outpouring of emotion to the one who makes you feel this way.

It flowed nicely, with one line going in to the next.

Suggested Improvements
In the second line, your should be you're.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn - missing III

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Hey, check out the Author Fan Club! It's an awesome way to pay tribute to your favourite authors!
66
66
Review of Tell Not A Soul.  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, jeanimoo!

I'm here to give your poem, "Tell Not A Soul." , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
This is a very sad poem, about someone who has to hide who they really are and live life wearing a mask. To everyone around them, things are all right--or so says the mask. Inside, the person is in turmoil. This is something many people can relate to.

Flow & Style
The repetition works well for this poem as a stark reminder that things aren't always as it seems.

Thanks for sharing!

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67
67
Review of Joseph's Prayer  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Jazz Smith , and welcome to WDC!

I'm here to give your poem, "Joseph's Prayer" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Initial Impressions
I thought this was an emotional poem. The death of a child is sad, but this poem added to the emotional impact by speaking from the child's point-of-view. He wishes he could be there for his mother and brothers, and still doesn't know why he was taken from them.

Flow & Style
Some stanzas were five lines and some were four. This threw the rhyming pattern off.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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68
68
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, ~WhoMe???~ , and congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame"  by Wyn - missing III (Hey, that's me! *Bigsmile*).

Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor!

Review of
A Time For Healing  (E)
Written for prompt in Coloring the World contest
#1403991 by ~WhoMe???~


This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
I really enjoyed this poem. It starts off a bit gloomy, but ends in hope. Sometimes, we don't like who we see in the mirror. We make a conscious effort to affect change in our lives and then do so.

Flow & Style
The lines flowed well. The rhymes sounded unforced and even using healing as a rhyme twice didn't sound repetive

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn - missing III

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Hey, check out the Author Fan Club! It's an awesome way to pay tribute to your favourite authors!
69
69
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, billwilcox!

I'm here to give your story, "Something To Remember Me By" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
Great story of obsession gone too far. Bill's too busy congratulating himself to realise he's left the ring at Cheryl's house. I have to wonder, though, how did the police know immediately whom to find. Did he forget to clean up the blood inside the house?

Nice story. Thanks for sharing!

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70
70
Review of NOAH'S ARC  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Meg !

I'm here to give your poem, "NOAH'S ARC" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
As someone who was born in a country with two seasons, wet and dry, I know how both annoying and important seasonal rains can be. Sloshing through streets with waist deep water can be fun for some, bothersome for others. But the country ultimately depends on the life sustaining rains to raise crops.

Flow & Style
The quatrains flowed well with a nice abab rhyme.

Suggested Improvements
None.

Thanks for sharing!

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71
71
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Sunshine :) !

I'm here to give your item, "Dental Hygiene Words" , a Helping Hearts Review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

What a fun way to pass the time waiting at the dentist office. The words were all relevant, though I'm not sure where the prizes come in. For the children with no cavities?

Thanks for sharing!


--Wyn

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72
72
Review of Moon  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Sunshine :) !

I'm here to give your poem, "Moon" , a Helping Hearts Review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
Very short and to the point poem about the moon.

Flow & Style
I think with some more punctuation, the flow would be better. After cloudless and bold and bright.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn

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73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, !

I'm here to give your, "My First Three Poems (2006)" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
This poem certainly shows your interest in fish and aquatic sea life. Each poem tells a different story. My favourite has to be the last one.

Suggested Improvements
but whee are the fish where
hollow tre log tree
place o swimming of
friendly an unfriendly and

Thanks for sharing!

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74
74
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, ShiShad !

I'm here to give your, "A Valentine's Lament" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impressions
This poem rings so very true. One day, we wake up to find we've drifted apart from the one we love. We ask how can it be, how can we not see it happening. The realisation hurts.

Flow & Style
Nice flow of lines.

Suggested Improvements
None.

Thanks for sharing!

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75
75
Review of Rahu's Game  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Just call me Omni , and congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame"  by Kristi .

Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Adopt-A-Newbie Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor!

Review of
Rahu's Game  (E)
Rahu is a snake that swallows the sun or moon causing eclipses. Inspired by my mother.
#1579165 by Just call me Omni


This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.

Overall Impression
I always enjoy reading a person's take on mythology. Rahu is of Hindu (and Buddhist) mythology. In Buddhist mytholgy, Rahu attacks the sun and the moon. In Vedic mythology, Rahu is a temptor for materialism.

I like how you bring all the aspects of Rahu together. We all have our own personal aspect of Rahu within us.

Form & Style
Nice rhyming, but the rhythm may be a bit off in some places.

Thanks for sharing!

--Wyn - missing III

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Hey, check out the Author Fan Club! It's an awesome way to pay tribute to your favourite authors!
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