Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you are receiving this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
This poem is rather thought provoking--at least to me it is. What really does shape our views on love and romance? From a young age, we are fed stories of princesses finding Prince Charming, and living happily ever after. When we can't find that dream, we are left disillusioned.
Flow & Style
I think you followed the form well, and am glad you put in your notes there is no rhythmic requirement.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you are receiving this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
It's commendable that you are able to use a multitude of words in place of the word green. I had to look up the word aerugo since I'd never heard it before. Unfortunately, the definition I found for it was The rust of any metal, esp. of brass or copper. I don't think, then, that this word is properly used when referring to fields. The poem itself is very nice, conjuring colourful images.
I'm here to give your poem, "Caribbean Silk" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
Very beautiful images of tropical waters. It was easy to follow you on this journey under the waves.
Flow & Style
The free verse was easy to follow, with the placement of punctuation. My only stumbling point was the phrase "some long ago day".
Suggested Improvements
I think the fourth and last stanza can use more punctuation. It's consistent throughout the rest of the poem, except there.
I'm here to give your poem, "QUESTIONS" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
This is a series of questions, I think everyone has in their lifetime, in some form or other. Without going into too much detail, you go into the basis of the question, and keep the focus on the question, not the cause.
Flow & Style
The lines flowed smoothly, with almost a lyrical quality to them. Each stanza followed an abab pattern that sounded unforced.
Suggested Improvements
Just a minor thing--Since you answer the questions in the last line of the third stanza, I don't think the last line is required.
Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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I'm here to give your poem, "Simply Rain" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
This was a wonderful poem, filled with images that evoked thoughts of a spring thunderstorm. Its lines are straight-forward and simplistic, yet combine to create a grand panorama.
Flow & Style
Five stanzas, with only eight words each, to convey the phases of a thunderstorm. The two word lines give it a rhythmic quality.
Suggested Improvements
None.
Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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I'm here to give your poem, "The Magnitude of Stars" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
Although the poem was short, it conveyed a beautiful image. Sometimes, we don't think of the night sky, beyond the twinkling of yellow light. Your poem shows the array of colours in the vast galaxy we call home.
Flow & Style
The poem moves with an easy to follow cadence and good, unforced sounding rhymes.
Suggested Improvements
None.
Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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I'm here to give your poem, "BEYOND THE SHADOWS" , a Helping Hearts Review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
This was a truly dark poem to read. It leaves me with a sense of fear and trepidation. The pictures accompanying it linger, giving me an erie feeling. This reads like a person's personal nightmare.
Flow & Style
Although the stanzas do not follow a syllabic count, they are easy to follow, with a steady cadence. The rhymes work well, and I like how shadows is repeated.
Suggested Improvements
None at all.
Very nice poem. Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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I'm here to give your story, "Don't Tempt Me" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Very nice story, filled with different types of overt and subtle temptations! I don't think I've ever thought of hairspray as an addiction/temptation (even as a child of the 80s), but the detail given to Tammy definately changed that. The interaction of the characters was both serious and playful, yet their behaviours was believable.
Not having read this before the revised ending, I have nothing to compare it to. Seeing Wendy in the car with them, after Cheryl described her as "stuck on herself" was a surprise, so I had to assume they still maintain contact, if their girls were friends.
Overall, this was an enjoyable story. Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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I'm here to give your piece, "Airplanes" , a Helping Hearts review! This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
I thought this was a very nice and insightful story about your family. You clearly show your love for aircraft, even where people would complain about the noise and rattling windows. Then it goes on to show how that love was passed to your son, and finishing off with the source of your love for planes. The ending serves as a loving tribute to your grandfather.
The writing was smooth and flowed from thought to thought well, from you to your son, to your grandfather. There were no noticable grammer errors. It looks like there is a space missing before the second-to-last paragraph.
Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allen Poe Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
Ooh! Very nice poem, full of horribly morbid imagery. I love it! Each line, although confined to a limited number of syllables, adds another layer to the hellish collage.
Flow & Style
For your very first Cyhydedd Hir, I think you followed the style very well. Good use of punctuation to set and maintain the tone.
I'm here to give your poem, "Wish You Were here" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
This was a sad and emotional poem. Losing someone to death is sad, but it seems even worse when they leave behind a child that needs to be raised. The picture makes the poem more real.
Flow & Style
Nice metre and unforced sounding rhymes.
Suggested Improvements
None.
Thanks for sharing!
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Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allen Poe Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
Very nice, dark poem about the damned! The images of decay and feasting on souls is creepy. I love it! You show the agony and torment in wonderfully woven words.
The poem starts off well measured, with closes rhymes. The rhymes disappear mid poem, which is startling, when one has developed a pattern.
I'm here to give your poem, "im lost " , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Initial Impressions
Nice poem full of feelings and emotions about a relationship that's falling apart because of mistrust.
Flow & Style
Written in free verse, there was no apparent pattern to rhyme or rhythm. With punctuation, this can flow better.
Suggested Improvements one day your going to see things my way
Comma after day. your should be you're.
Third line, than.
Third stanza, fourth line your should be you're.
I think with punctuation and capitalisation, this can become a more readable poem.
Thanks for sharing!
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Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
A vast landscape covered with snow has such endless possibilities for the imagination! The poem and the picture work well together. I can imagine a ferocious snow covered dinosaur ambling across the ground. There is beauty, magic, and mystery. All one has to do is open their eyes.
Flow & Style
For the most part, the poem flows rhythmically and smoothly. I think the only place where it falters is the third stanza.
I'm here to give your poem, "Rage" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
This is a strong poem, full of emotion. It has anger and paranoia, yet the author says that this can happen.
Flow & Style
Written in free verse, the poem is rhythmic. It read like free-style hip-hop lyrics.
Suggested Improvements On wich everyone relies
Which
I also think the poem would read better with punctuation.
I'm here to give your story, "Georgia Home" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
To me, this story seemed like it was missing something. We're given a description of the house and some of the things its owner did, but that's it. The ending tells us of its abandonment, but not why. Did he become too infirmed? Did he die? Just a couple questions left to ponder.
I'm here to give your poem, "The Secret" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
To me, the poem seems to be saying the gossipers were wrong, and their perceived relationship was an opportunity squandered. The ending does not sound regretful, but of a memory enjoyed.
The lines were short, with a good flow. Thanks for sharing!
I'm here to give your story, "One Movement" , a WDC Power review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
This was a truly excellent story! Syl was a very believable character. The story has depth, conflict and resolution. I am intrigued to know more about Falie, though.
I'm here to give your poem, "Noise" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
This poem is both confusing and thought provoking. What is it, I wonder, that would cause someone to want such an escape. It seems this person is looking for an escape from thoughts, their own and others'. Freedom from such things comes at a price, though.
I'm here to give your poem, "Beneath "The Ice Cream Cone"" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
The is a very nice descriptive poem about where you live and a prominent landmark.
Flow & Style
It seems as if you started out intending to have rhyme and structure, but after the first stanza, I could find neither rhyme nor rhythm.
Suggested Improvements Our future uncertainty resides below
I think the wording here needs to be rearranged. Our future resides in uncertainly below
I'm here to give your poem, "STANDING TALL" , a Simply Positive review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
I remember, as a student teacher of geography and international studies, my own teacher said we should never let personal opinions influence our teaching. Present facts, different sides of the story, and let the students form their own opinions. Your poem shows the blatant bias and hippocracy of today's system, whereby one man is encouraged and the other is sacked.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the H G Wells Fan Package. The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters. I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honour!
This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impression
Your description of the poem, and your chosen genres don't give much insight to what this is on the outside. I'd say this is an emotional poem of heartbreak and love lost.
Flow & Style
The poem should be broken up in stanzas. Even though it is free verse, you have lines that are just too long and unwieldy.
For example, Every atom that that burned off of you and fizzled into existence had more life then me in my entire body
Remove of and start the next line at had.
Suggested Improvements more life then me Then should be than.
I think the use of correct punctuation would benefit this poem.
With a bit of work, this can be excellent. Thanks for sharing!
I'm here to give your poem, "A mother's love" , a Helping Hearts review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
Very nice tribute to your mother, and how she helped raise you to be who you are today.
Flow & Style
The rhyme pattern of the first and last stanza don't follow that of the rest of the poem, or the other. Also, the near rhyme in the third stanza seems out of place.
Suggested Improvements
In the fourth stanza, I think the line would read better as of my life.
I also think you should be more consistent with punctuation usage.
I'm here to give your poem, "I Remember..." , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
This was a very touching poem about a fond memory. I liked how it weaves sight and scent throughout. The aroma of the pies take on living characteristics as it searches out people to tantalise.
I'm here to give your poem, "The Gardener, the whisper and the seed" , a Simply Positive Newbie review. This is only my opinion, so please keep what you find useful, and disregard what you don't.
Overall Impressions
I enjoyed this very metaphoric poem. It speaks of creation, life, choices, and the fall. Evil will buffet goodness from all sides, until it wittles it away, piece by piece.
Flow & Style
Good flow and rhythm, for the most part. It stumbles in a couple spots.
Suggested Improvements
The near rhymes, I think, take away from the effect of the poem.
Nice poem. Thanks for sharing!
--Wyn
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