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Hello, Tim Chiu  ! It is my pleasure today to review "The Rags of a Toothless Witch"  .
 My Thoughts: This is, indeed, a comedic poem; but I've got to admit I was a little lost by the time I reached the end. However, I loved the subject matter. This is a great piece for a Halloween cackle!
 Content: The poem starts out quite strong. We begin with a description of this "lovely" witch and then find out what she desires. Though her desire is a little strange, I went on with it (it's hilarious, by the way!). When I got to the stanza about the King, I felt a little confused. The poem was losing momentum and rhymes were being repeated. It also felt like he repeated what he was trying to convey more than once.
Here's one major part which puzzled me:
The king gazed upon her with an incredulous look,
Said, “What a lifeless shape full of sags!”
“A chic set of clothes would allow you to cook,”
“No person wants a witch dressed in rags…”
The line in italics didn't make sense to me, unless you mean "cook" as something other than what it usually means. To me, it looks like you made yourself use the word "cook" because it rhymed with "look". If there's some better word to use, I'd suggest you try changing "look" to something else and fit it in somehow.
Here's another which confused me:
He further surmised her toothless grin
And her efforts at make-up and glamour,
And said, “Nice clothes can never do one in,”
“Despite wielding a shield or a hammer!”
The entirety of this stanza had me lost. Firstly, I wondered if you were using the word "surmised" correctly in this instance. It didn't seem as if it were correct to me, when I looked it up. However, I could be wrong. Second (& last), I don't understand what he means by "nice clothes can never do one in". Does this mean nice clothes won't kill you? And what does wielding a shield or hammer have to do with clothes not killing you? I think I might be missing something here... Perhaps it's from a late night without sleep. 
The rest of the poem continues in this fashion (kind of being vague/round-about). I had to wonder if the new lover was the king, because I hadn't seen anything he'd said being an approval of her.
As for the end, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to promote dressing smart as being the key to everything, but it looked to me more like you were making a parody of it.  Nice job.
Suggestions: I didn't see any real errors within the poem, though there was some trouble with flow & content. You should also consider making the rating 13+, because of the insinuations/subject matter. Here's one specific suggestion...
 She’d had little luck up to this point
Finding a mate that would suit her,
So she sought out the king whom she helped to anoint
To act, upon hearing her rooster.
 This line is a bit long. I'd suggest shortening it to help with flow. A few of your other lines could also be shortened to help with that same thing as well.
Favorites:
"Once there was a toothless witch
Who always dressed up in rags;
Her smile was like an empty ditch
And her body was full of sags."
This was an awesome hook. I could clearly see this frumpy witch - great imagery! I couldn't help but laugh when I read this.
Overall: Overall, this wasn't a bad poem, but it feels a bit rushed. I think if you iron out some of the stanzas, you would have an excellent poem on your hands. The subject matter is interesting and funny; I can tell you had fun writing this piece.  Please let me know if you edit this in the future, I'd be more than happy to re-rate (and re-review, if possible!).
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and keep up the great writing.  Hugs,
-Neko
Please note that the entirety of this review is only meant to help you and to express how I felt about your work; none of it is meant to be offensive or hurtful in any way. Much of this is based on my opinion, so please feel free to take or leave whatever you'd like.
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(Which are right on!) For such a short poem, you managed to get a lot in. Very well done. I didn't see any errors that needed fixing.
But now I'm just being pessimistic!
Content: 
Thus, when I saw the title of this poem I couldn't pass it up. I'm also *somewhat* familiar with the Cinquain form.
Also, there may be better word choices for some of the words you chose in the middle of the poem.
"
I couldn't help but wonder exactly what had happened to the speaker, but all I knew was that it wasn't good. If you had added exactly what had happened, I doubt the reader could connect with the poem as strongly as they do now. (Which I do!). By leaving the specifics out, and being more general, you allow the reader to sympathize much more easily. However, one could easily guess what this is about.
That's what makes this piece great though, in my mind. I like the slight repetition... makes it seem almost like a song.