I knew when i started your Christmas story it would be special and have a message, and you certainly proved me correct. I could picture "Mary" caressing the little blanket and smoothing it over Jesus realizing with what love and thoughtfulness it was made. Lovely story.
Maretta
Thank you so much for writing this poem to your Mom. She must be very proud of it. I am not a poet and I don't know if your words are expressed in the correct poetic form. I do know they are expressed with love, understanding and sincerity. How wonderful you remember all the "little things" as I'm sure she does too. Someday you will also find you understand your Mo more, as I did after raising 5 children.
I love your poem and the 5 rating is because you have said it well.
Maretta
I think you have an interesting premise for a story here. I like your main character and her brothers and sisters. Some of it is a little confusing and I think you should think about sorting it out. Is her family poor because her mom and dad don't work or because they have low paying jobs? Why would a rich boy attend a fire house Christmas give away for poor children? Would Lori's mother be best friends with Doug's mother if one was so poor and the other so rich. Was she an employee? Did she know her from church? Was it winter, it was Christmas, so unless you were in a warm climate would there be fresh plums? These are all thing readers will notice. Again ,I think this story is interesting and preteens and teens would love it. Just think about all the above and keep writing.
Maretta
I think this piece of your work is beautiful and a sincere tribute to Edward. You have made me feel as though we were part of the scene," No sun, no clouds, smell of fear and death."The last paragraph where you describe the day the war was over, and the beauty of the scene are great.I have just sent a story out and in it I used the old adage supposedly said by Ernie Pyle, Winston Churchill and a priest. I'm not sure who owns it, but the phrase was "There are no atheists in foxholes" and you have proved it to me with this piece.
I am notorious for missing quotation marks at times etc., so I say this because this deserves to be read and appreciated by many.
spelling: truly not truley
check out how many times you use the word then, and eliminate at least one
.Enjoyed it very much. Maretta
Although I was young quite sometime ago, I did guess you were sledding.You have given such such a wonderful description of the whole process that the years have flown, and my nose is cold, and still I have to trudge up that hill one more time to have the final thrill of the day.A wonderful poignant memory! Thanks
Maretta
This is a great idea. Thanks. I've been around a couple of years, and lately, not quite as much. I have always found this system rather difficult but found this such a good refresher course, and more. Really appreciate it.
Maretta
Truly loved this story! Think you should send it out. It's not a holier than thou story. It's about being lonely and depressed and someone who won't give up carin gfor you. It's about hope and learning and love.
Loved the characters, very authentic and real. Could almost visulize them by their conversations.
Bravo to you for telling a story that makes you feel GOOD. Good Luck on your writing.
Maretta
!
This is a great slice of life story. I especially like nonfiction stories. Perhaps it's because I enjoy writing the same type of story. I find it often inspiring, amazing and touching to find out how many things we all have in common. After reading this story, I was reminded of how I used to play, I was an orphan when I was a little girl
Certainly ,a fantasy as I had a very loving mother and father. A bit of fantasy is probably what makes us writers and you are a fine ne.
Maretta
You have made my evening. I sincerely love the two stories I have read tonight. Perhaps because they are more'my a kind, my time stories.
In my families tradition before I was married, we always had a star on our Christmas tree. So naturally we had a star for our first Christmas tree. We had our first daughter and then our first son only 14 months apart. Then eight years later we were surprised a few days before Christmas with our new beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair, who was supposed to appear sometime in January.
While I was waiting to come home from the hospital with the new baby, my husband and the two children decided that our new Julie should have an angel on the top of the tree, and they went shopping. From that Christmas to this past Christmas Julie's angel has had her place at the top of the tree. And as you do, I always whisper a prayer for more Christmas blessings to come and peace for this bedraggled beautifful world we live in. Thank you for an enjoyable read.
Maretta
Enjoyed reading your list of favorite books. Many of mine were on your list also. One of my favorites was Marjorie Morningstar. I've read it several times over the years. Also, Stephen King's book on writing is great!
This is a truly lovely story of what love is. It is shown in every word that you have written about your Lora. I am so sorry for your heartbreak. A little over 2 years ago I lost my adult son to that terrible disease ALS and I have been going thru much of what you have. For awhile I lived minute by minute, then tthings got better but every once in awhile I falter again. I too have other lovely children and we must think of how blessed we are to have them.
In our hearts your Lora and my Steve will always live on for all the love they have given us and I feel they still do.
God bless you and keep you. Your story is inspiring.
Maretta
When reviewing poetry I always let the author know that I am not a poet.There is some I enjoy reading very much and others that I don't review because I can't relate to it. If I give advice, I give it only in how I may feel it sounded to me, not as a great authority.
After having said this, I think your poem is quite special and told its sad story well.
I am sorry you lost your Father. I feel you needed to tell this story and you made your family, Father John etc . very real as you describe the happenings of that day.
In the first stanza I think you could eliminate the word ANDbetween holding hands.in the third stanza,you could probably delete TO BE making the last part of the sensentence not as wordy These are are just my thoughts. Look forward to reading more of your work..
Maretta My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
I haven't been reviewing for a short time and finding your story today was a great way to start again..
Perhaps, because it is reminiscent of my own families tale it has touched me deeply. You have written it well and with such feeling.
I think it did change in our generation as my husband and I and our 5 children left for faraway places ,for the bigger paycheck and chance for advancement also.
Today, it is almost expected. When we have family gatherings at least 4 0r 5states are represented.
As your story so eloquently expresses we have left much behind. This is also a reason for us to tell our stories.
We have also gained, I have seen and been places I never dreamed I would see and still home is where the heart is. I will be reading more. Hope you will stop over to visit someday.
Ah! how well I remember those very same feelings from someome that sounds very much like the someone you are writing about.
We didn't have e-mail then but there were still ways of communicating, I remember the best one was a paper I received back that said,"We are both writers, that is why
you are so special. WOW that kept me going for days and ......I'm still not published!! And you're right those memories still have power. WeAren't we lucky?
An interesting and loving way to look at bringing up children. I think that knowing you are loved and cared about are truly the most important parts of becoming a happy healthy adult and of course knowing they are accepted goes along with this.
I probably would go with this piece 100% if not for the fact that just this week some friends have had a couple of violent outbrdeaks from their 11 year old son and now it seems Doctors and physchologists are all GUESSING at where the trouble lies. Very scary.
This is certainly ani nteresting and yummy piece written about almost everyones
favorite - chocolate. Some very interesting facts to bombard my daughtet-in-law with when she thinks 2 brownies are too much for Natasha.
And lots of great looking recipes to boot! Definately write on!
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A short ,but true poem about something we often forget. God is there and waiting for us to ask His guidance in all the dark nights we encounter. Sometimes it is difficult to believe but I have found it to be true as this author proclaims. Thanks for the reminder.
Maretta
Ths is a delightful, philisophical well "Penned" story. [couldn't resist it}. One of the most original stories I have ever read.
Just for the record I also write with a pen and use yellow legal pads. Just a habit but one I relish.
Maretta
Sounds like a girl who is bored with small time living and day to day routine. A girl
who is looking for more in life.
And then again, it sounds like all of us at one time or another. However I think the real gist of this story is the girl knows she is't that badly off and also that she knows her life is going to change now and she starts on her impossible run to freedom.. When her husband catches up and finds out they are going to have a baby they are both happy and know for sure there are many adventures aheadand a new beginning to their lives.
Would like you to know that after reading of your long skirmish with Guillane-Barre Syndrome I was both amazed and humbled at your excellent story telling ability to express your feelings with humor and matter of factness and no self pity. I also felt that the stories told of the other patients you met there were excellently portrayed.
The poignancy of what you all went thru with such grace touched me deeply, I think probably when you all danced in your wheel chaiirs most of all.
My own dayghter, at this time suffers from Chromic fatigue Syndrome and goes through horrible pain at times and symptoms that change from day to day. If you mention it to someone they will often say "Oh yes, I'm tired all the time too. Never dreaming what it really means. Maybe someday soon they will get a real handle on this too.
Probably, what I am trying to say to you, is that it is difficult to understand a situation unless you have been there and you have done a terrific job in explaining rhis to us. God bless and keep writing. Drop over at my port someday.
Maretta
This is an amazing tribute to an amazing man. I have sincerely enjoyed reading it. I have seen the moveie "Ghandi" and at different time read about parts of his life but this piece made me truly realize what a good man he was.
I am a Christian but the simple faith of this good man in following his conscience and doing what feels right makes me believe more than ever fthere is only one God,though we may because of our culture have another name for Him.
I am not a great fantasy lover but I found this story very imaginative and quite fascinating. Of course it is about an anuthor and writing so to me this was part of the intrigue. It reminded me much of several authors who write thistype of books. Changing, it seems, the country, the names of the main characters and perhaps adding an original idea. Fortunately, some of these writers "laugh all the way to the bank" Would I were one of them ? But never would I mention a name!
At any rate, when the author in the story does begin to write his own work he states, metaphorically speaking "I needed to give up the walking stick and use my legs." Read this story to the end to get the impact!
This poem is a tale of a dysfunctional family. It is almost a cinderella story except for the sad fact that it is true. There is a wanted little boy and an unwanted little girl.
As often said, "money does not make you happy." and the daughter leaves to turn her life around.
She sends the message that love can make it all worthwhile and that to hug, hold and keep your children safe are what makes life worth living. I agree and hope knowing this has given her the courage to let the past go and enjoy the valuable lesson she has learned.
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This poem is a sad little poem. It reflects the authors fear of not being understood. The lines, but"I love you. Not in spite of your faults, but because of them seems to make me feel there is some sort of conflict.
The author also states,"I could sing of my love, of you, my friends, but I don't think you could hear me.
.I am feeling that the friends should be given the benefit of the doubt and perhaps
surprising things would happen.
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