The link to this item appeared in the March 4 Spiritual Newsletter.
Almost immediately, I was standing next to you, I recognized the stars and the stark cross in the middle of the circle. I have only attended the one church campground (5 years in a row) in high school. I thought we were there. When you mentioned Kansas, I realized we weren't. I do know that what I am telling you about the piece is a compliment without camparison. It is the most we, as writers, hope for.
I found this poem in the March 3 Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
The poem leaves much to the imagination, as do many poems I find. I am best projecting mechanical advice on prose and will post my review publicly that others may find this piece.
I was unsure as to whether "fate's cruel blow" was a death or just other things interfering.
I found the link to this in the February 24 Spiritual Newsletter.
It may be six in the evening here, but you got me joyful!! I try to start out every day with God and His word. When I get too busy with a deadline or something else crowding in, I accomplish far less than I should. Do I believe the two are connected? You bet!!
Thank you for letting it flow on down your arm and out of your pen! PTL!
I found a link to this in the February 24 Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
This is a sweet poem. I am not all that great at spotting structural problems in poems (I know it is a really bad trait when you can teach forms but have a hard time grading them), which is why I always post my reviews of poetry publicly where someone better might be inclined to look at it too.
On a literary note, I would comment that your reference to a long day in the last stanza isn't possible. On the realistic note, days are short in winter.
I found a link to this in a Noticing Newbies Newsletter that is a few weeks old.
I was never a big fan of Hemingway and remember little of what I have read of his writings.
This was a wonderful stream of conciousness that brought me full circle in your morning. My legs got cold and then warm. I even tasted film on the roof of my mouth. I was even picturing your walk out at the local college campus (except that we had no major snows this year). It is a remarkable attribute to bring someone with you.
I would note that this would read more easily if you would separate your paragraphs with a blank line.
I found this in an older issue of the Noticing Newbies Newsletter. I am behind on my newsletter reviewing.
This is an interesting musing on your inner life and dedication. I am not familiar with mandir, but from reading this, I would say, in my faith, I would call it the "Peace that passes understanding." It isn't an everyday occurrence, but once experienced, can't be forgot.
I found this in an older issue of the Noticing Newbies Newsletter. I am behind on my newsletter reviewing. This is definitely going in my favorites.
Just the motivation I need. I am no longer a newbie, but I have been writing this book in my head, on backs of envelopes and slips of paper for five years!!
I found this in an older issue of the Noticing Newbies Newsletter. I am behind on my newsletter reviewing.
This is a touching poem. I felt the pain and confusion of the speaker. Along that vein, friendships do grow and change with growing and changing social climates. Often though, one will wake up one morning to find that the friendship rode the rough waters and came out on the other side, deeper and truer!
I found this in an older Spiritual Newsletter. I am behind on my newsletters.
I can't count the times in my childhood your opening quote was said to me as gospel. But in the home I grew up in, hurting each other emotionally, mentally was the norm rather than an exception. As an adult, I decided they recited same to soothe their own conscious, deceptively trying to convince themselves.
I found this in this week's Noticing Newbies Newsletter. This is an interesting stream of conciousness, expressing a myriad of emotions in a short space.
There were places, though, where sentences seemed to run-on. The grammatical that stood out to me was:
"...when really all we are is demons plotting against one another in the neverending struggle for acceptance. "
The only way I find it working makes a slight change in wording to make the tense work:
"...when really we are demons plotting against one another in the neverending struggle for acceptance. "
This poem was in the Spiritual Newsletter on 1/26/05. Although I see by the date that this was written some time ago, it is a needed reminder of the transitory pains we experience in this world.
What a wonderful tribute and stimulator of gratitude!
I found this piece in January 13th issue of Noticing Newbies Newsletter. I am quite behind in my reviewing this month!!
I have to admit, it was the critic in me that opened your title. I quickly knew where we were going and why! I really enjoyed the ride. Maybe mine will get a swift kick in the procrastination programming.
I found this in this week's Spiritual Newsletter. This is such a beautiful piece and I came a hair's breath from rating it a five and for content and heart-wrenching, it deserves one.
However, there is a problem with wordiness and excess adjectives and adverbs in a few places that could be tightened up. The only other thing I noticed were the use of quotations. Single quotation marks are for contractions and quotes within quotes. All other times, if you use them, they should be double quotations.
As I said, this ia a beautiful story of answered prayer. Often we miss the answers because of the packages God sends them in!
I found this in this week's Spiritual Newsletter. I was entranced as I have had this conversation over and over before. Toward the end, it got confusing to me, but that did not alter the fact that it hit home. I just forget that most of us feel the same way and I think that is what you say here!
I found this in this week's Noticing Newbies Newsletter. This is a very nice bio. I enjoyed hearing about your family! I came from a family of six children and one of my brothers and I were not only close in age, but sound about like you and your sister. He died several years ago and a part of me went with him. I loved remembering, through your story, how we fought as kids and bonded as adults!
Your piece would be helped a great deal by utilizing spell check, a grammar program and extra spaces between the paragraphs. Just a few that jumped out at me were "meet" for "met," "Me and him" for "He and I," and "2nd" for "second." There are many more or I would list them all.
I found this in this week's Noticing Newbies Newsletter. This is a very interesting stream of consciousness reflection. I often make up stories about sites I see along a long drive. Often it keeps me awake when I choose to drive a 15-hour trek alone.
You have this in stanza form and it might be something that could become poetic. Not because I write strictly prose, but I think this piece would be more interesting in the form of prose. You could give more details about the reason you believe it to be a hawk. You could use more descriptive terms to bring the condition of the house to a picture in the reader's mind. I had a picture, but it wasn't clear.
I found this in this week's Noticing Newbie Newsletter. Ah, yes Lexi, this is indeed a chuckle worth sharing. I would suggest entering it in the next round of
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. I believe it is a perfect candidate.
Write ON, Newbie!!
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