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51
51
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Ingenious! Not only did you do dialogue only and write an interesting story, but you plugged WDC. I think this would make anyone who read it interested in finding out more about the site. It was cute, very informal in tone. I find dialogue only very difficult to do. I need to challenge myself more. you speak of so many positives this site has to offer. It was a fun read! I have nothing really to add as far as suggestions. I am not sure if this was written for a contest or if you were just challenging yourself. If it is for a contest, I suppose I could suggest that you say so *Wink*

Thank you for sharing! Write on *Smile*
52
52
Review of Snow Angels  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I am not sure if you used a certain formal form in this piece but it is precious. It speaks about the impressions your children not only left in the snow but in your heart *Smile* I enjoyed feeling the love through your words.

I think this poem would be even better if you enlarged the font just a bit and centered it, perhaps adding a picture as well. It is up to you of course *Smile*

I think it is neat where we draw our inspirations from at times. To think a scrapbook page inspired a poem is just special to me.

Thank you for sharing and Write on!
53
53
Review of Winter day  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello! mars

My name is omniblueeyes *Smile* I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional editor, I am simply a reader. My intent is to share my humble opinion of your work with you. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in my review and disregard what you do not agree with.

*Note1*Overall Impression:
A pretty poem about the beauty of winter.

*Note2*Setting and Plot/Structure and Form:
When I first read through this, I felt you could lose the first two words of verse one and verse two. After I noticed the form and the syllabic requirements, I realize why they are there. With your limitations within the form, the poem is very well written. The words painted a picture for me in my mind...actually, I only need to go look outside and see what you spoke of so beautiful, perhaps I will see the winter differently now?

*Note3*Punctuation, Spelling, and Grammar:
Enlight does not appear to be spelled correctly. Punctuation in poetry is subjective. Every poet seems to have their way of doing it 'properly' so I am not going to comment on yours *Wink*
*Check5*Suggestions:
I wonder if this poem would 'look' better centered?

*Note5*Parting Thoughts:
Thank you for sharing. I think I shall go and look out my window now and amaze at the winter wonderland.

*Exclaim* Rating:*Star**Star**Star**Star*


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54
54
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello! Meriki Moon

My name is omniblueeyes *Smile* I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional editor, I am simply a reader. My intent is to share my humble opinion of your work with you. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in my review and disregard what you do not agree with.

I have erased my template because I just can not review this piece as I would another. It is beautifully written. It is so well written that I felt my heart being ripped out as I went along for the ride through your pain-filled moments. I would like to say I am sorry. No mother should ever suffer this kind of loss.

I really would like to say something positive, something that would make you feel good about .....I am at a loss for words. I am sorry. I just would like you to know that I have read your piece of poetry and have been touched by your words.

Sincerely, Connie


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55
55
Review of So Complete  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello! Shh...whisper, MHWAmember

My name is omniblueeyes *Smile* I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional editor, I am simply a reader. My intent is to share my humble opinion of your work with you. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in my review and disregard what you do not agree with.

*Note1*Overall Impression:
A lovely tribute to what you family means to you.

*Note2*Setting and Plot/Structure and Form:
You speak about your family in metaphors.

In this poem one needs another to feel complete. I will not comment on structure or form in this case, as this is a very personal poem and I can not rate these the same way as I do others, unless I am asked (personally) to do so. I feel when someone writes about loved ones, each and every word expressed is the right one and it is done in the way that the reader feels is correct and true to them.

*Note3*Punctuation, Spelling, and Grammar:
It was well done *Smile*

*Thumbsup* Favorite Parts:
You are the tiny bubbles
in my bubble bath.
Cute! *Heart*
You are the lyrics
I need to finish my song.
Beautiful.

*Check5*Suggestions:
This was from your heart. I could feel how important your family is to you by reading your words. I hope you printed this out for them and perhaps even framed it.


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56
56
Review of It's the Journey  
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Forgive me for the short, but hopefully sweet, review.

I am here to judge your entry to my contest "Invalid Item" 

I am really pressed for time this month, but want you to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to enter this month! Thank you!

This story was short but said so much. I feel like I know 'Shelley' a lot more. I can relate in some ways. My sister has also chosen not to have children. Does she regret it? Not now, and you give me hope that she may never. You look for the positive and grab hold of the hope that life offers many different kinds of adventures.

Well written, easy to read, and very enjoyable as well.
57
57
Review of HEAVEN  
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi again,

I would labeled this as prose. If you go back and categorize all your posts into the proper genres, you should get even more reviews by people looking for specific things to read.

I think this is another heartbreaking story. I see some rhyme scheme and wonder if you tweaked it a bit, if it could not be made into a very good poem. I see a lot of pain in your portfolio in regards to your posts. I would like to offer some (((mental hugz))). I hope days look brighter soon.

Just a note: your bio block is not set up. Why not tell us a little about yourself or why you joined WDC. You can put anything in there. It helps us to know you better, both as a writer and person.

This is you last review that kathySmile sent for you. I do still need you to mail me and tell me what siggy shop you would like to have your gift certificate sent to. I will be highlighting you entire port (since you are in need of reviews for all your stories) in my siggy for a week *Smile* I will mail you with the raffle tickets i will be buying for you. I hope you have enjoyed your gift.
58
58
Review of Beloved Rose  
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I really hate to judge pieces like this as they are so personal and from the heart. i do not mind reviewing. I am saddened by this letter. I felt your pain. I could relate. I think this, in time, could be edited to make sure that all punctuation and capitalization is 'in place'. I understand you were venting and purging and I can appreciate the lack on polish.

Have you considered creating a blog? I think you need to have a paid membership. If you have any trouble buying one yourself, there are many groups that help with upgrades. mail me if you need me to find some for you.

I want you to know your post tore at my heart. I can only imagine your pain. I hope it lessens as time goes by.
59
59
Review of Thank You  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I am not sure why there is auto-award on this piece. Is it just another way of saying thanks, doing yet another good deed?

You are truly such a selfless person. You seem to be constantly thinking of others around WDC, yet you humbly write a letter of thanks to those that have touched your heart. I think you are so very special. I am so glad to have 'met' you.

I would like to formally thank you now. I know words are just not enough to convey adequately how one feels when another soul comes and touches your heart, helps change your outlook, or just offers their friendship.

This letter was truly beautiful in sentiment. I do not like rating pieces like this (although of course in my book, it get a five star) because sentiments and heart-felt pieces like this can not be judged.

You give and give and i feel like i do not give back enough and probably never will. that is the great thing about friendship though, it is never balanced. One gives and the other receives and then you (if you are true friends) switch roles. Friendship is never fully reciprocated. to me, to fully reciprocate means that you are done, the dues have been paid, the 'bill' has been settled. Friendship is never-ending.

*Heart*
60
60
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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What a wonderful tribute to someone I know is one of your best friends. I think it is great that you two are Angel buddies, as you both are such angels. I think that you both work so well together, building each other up and helping each other through life's and WDC's trials.

The (is this an acrostic?) ABC definition of Mara's attributes describe her in a way that the reader feels they know her a lot better.

Congrats on the first place win. This is a heartfelt, beautiful tribute to friendship and to Mara
61
61
Review of The Blue Mustang  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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This is a very short story but felt very complete. You write about what happens when we seek revenge. LOL The moral of the story is not about how wrong it is to seek revenge, rather the message is to make sure that you do not have a case of mistaken identity when delivering your revenge.

The story was well written and I had no problem following the story line or understanding and relating to the characters. You gave just the right amount of information on the twins to make me feel like I 'knew' them. The story line was great and a little humorous. The moral of the story was great and your use of a common phrase in delivering the moral of the story was also well done. Dialogue, spelling and grammar were nicely done.

The following Monday as Ingrid and Michelle were walking to class their friend Jill stopped to say hello.
I think this sentence could use some commas. I had to read it twice as I was a little confused without the comma breaks.

A very enjoyable read. i wonder what prompted this story. I think it was a great topic and unique. Thank you for sharing!
62
62
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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stopping to gaze and at the sunrise.
I do not think you want the word 'and' in this sentence

tell tail
telltale?

"Come back now. Come back in. It's nice and warm in here. Come on now. Come on."
I would separate any dialogue from the paragraph

After her death, I discovered I'm so numb, I barely noticed a person I lived next to for a month dieing.
After her death, I was so numb, I barely noticed the person I lived next to for a month was dying.

The fake "short" I established over the last several days yields the desired result.
I do not know what a 'short' is. I am not sure many readers would. You might want to explain what it is or use a different expression or description

Even people who are only here for short term care, are quickly depressed to tears.
There is no need for a comma in this sentence.

I'll never see anyone die beside me again!
Because this sentence stands on its own and because the person is either thinking this or actually saying it our loud, I would add quotes or put the sentence in italics.

The icy water could cause my, believe it or not, untimely death.
I would take out the 'believe it or not'. To me, that weakens the statement.

Apathy is my enemy, and I will not yield!
I love this sentence. It is full of emotion.

This is a good, yet sad story. I have pointed out what I found to need work in the first half of the story. I think you might want to examine the entire piece on your own and see if there are places that you can clean up. The story will have more impact when some changes are made in the sentence structuring. The story has great bones and an unique storyline.

The end was heartbreaking. I hope you work on this. If you do, please mail me if you make changes and I would be more than happy to come and read and rate it again.

Write on!
63
63
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I think this is a terrific free-verse poem. You give thanks to the many things or people that make your life better and make you the person you are.

This would be a great poem anytime of the year. It really makes the reader think of the many things that they, themselves, have to be thankful for. reading this inspired me to write my own list. It is so easy to get caught up in the heartache or drama of your life that one forgets to be thankful for all the things that are positive.

Thank you for sharing this!
64
64
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This is a free-verse poem about spirituality and waiting for her Lord.

The use of simile is very well done in this poem. You limened the woman's waiting to many other things that have to wait for things that help them grow or prosper.

The last verse was very good in the word choices you used.

I really enjoyed this. Congrats on the win in Sherri's 'Coloring the world' contest *Smile*
65
65
Review of That's What  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Balloon1**Balloon2*Happy WDC Birthday!*Balloon3**Balloon4*


I am not sure but it would appear this may have been inspired by something that actually happened? It was entertaining to read. It is dialogue only which I find hard to do without confusing the reader. Your dialogue did not confuse me. I do not know what is wrong with your nose or why he (she?) mentioned it...lol.

This was cute. thank you for sharing!




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Reviewers welcome

Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!

Just click the link! *Smile*
66
66
Review of I Am  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

*Balloon1**Balloon2*Happy WDC Birthday!*Balloon3**Balloon4*


I really enjoyed this free-verse poem. It reminded me of native American poems and prayers. You really made me feel a part of your words. I feel very close to nature myself and i could relate. the words you chose were beautiful in their simplicity. I loved that you mentioned a lot of elements of the night.

Beautiful




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Reviewers welcome

Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!

Just click the link! *Smile*
67
67
In affiliation with PSYW  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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This was a really awesome, personal piece. I really appreciated your words. They were well written and easily understood.
I agree with you that there must be a balance of negative and positive...I just often see the scale tipping towards negative and it takes a lot of faith and love to keep those scales balanced. i think it is fabulous that your inner circle brings that love and positivity into your life and helps balance things out. I hope you see that rainbow soon.
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Review of Mara's Musings  
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)

*Balloon1**Balloon2*Happy WDC Birthday!*Balloon3**Balloon4*


Happy Anniversary Mara!

I enjoyed reading your blog. The image on top is lovely!

I wanted to comment on some of your entries.

We had one Christmas where money was extremely, extremely tight and we actually had to hold the holiday on New Years because that was the day i got my first paycheck after being out of work for a couple of months. I had to purchase many things from the thrift store and look for after Christmas sales. Thank Goodness, my oldest was into second hand-odd clothing. We received the turkey from my job and a friend came over and brought some extras. It was and still is my kids favorite Christmas. The felt the love and family togetherness that year. We still do tons of presents (habit) now that we can better afford it and start Christmas shopping for the next year the day after Christmas...but family is number 1 now. I am sure this year will be better for you and I am wishing only happiness and hugz for ya!

Richie Sambora was my teen (okay...adult too) crush! I never was into idolizing musicians or movie stars, but he made me hot. lol. The 'love' is dimming as he refuses to let go up that dippedidooed hairstyle. He is not aging like a grown man should, lol....but he is an awesome guitarist.

I loved reading your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them *Heart*






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Reviewers welcome

Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!

Just click the link! *Smile*
69
69
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Oh! Very neat! I did not know that Rising Stars had a book club. I am low on funds this month to buy the book you all are reading and we do not have a book store here. I think I will definitely sign up next month. I would love to discuss what I read with others.

Okay, I just read Nicki's post about the library. I did not think about that. I shall call my library and see if they have a copy.

The discussion forum looks active and i love the fact that the members can recommend books. I would love to share my favorite author's works and be able to talk with someone about them. BTW...it is Jean M. Auel and I hate being the only person I know waiting impatiently for her next book (the last in her series).
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Review of I Asked God  
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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*Balloon1**Balloon2*Happy WDC Birthday!*Balloon3**Balloon4*



I have to rate this lower, actually I would love to not have to rate this at all. while I appreciate that you are trying to share something that you read and loved, these are not YOUR words. You do give credit to the people or group that wrote the words, but I think you should really try and write your own pieces. You can be inspired by this and even adding your thoughts after their words would be acceptable. I just think you should have some direct link to what I just read.

Perhaps you can write how you feel about this writing that you found. Do you believe it? Why? Adding a personal touch is needed.



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Reviewers welcome

Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!

Just click the link! *Smile*
71
71
Review of The Fire  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello! very thankful

I like this poem about passion. I think it has some great points to it. The use of metaphor of flames burning inside you both is well done.

I think it takes a lighter tone with the second verse. I wonder if you want to fan the flames (excuse the pun) or if you meant to make this a light piece.

The first verse is strong but I wonder if it could be a little stronger. I do not want to change your words but offer an example. You can disagree with me, by all means *Smile*

You put:

Fire burns inside me.
You feel the flames inside.
Flames are burning brightly,
feel them burning nightly.

Because in the following verse it is all about the flames in you, not him, I would perhaps change a couple of words:

Example:

Fire burns inside of me
You fuel the flames within

of course, use what works for you *Smile* I hope you send a copy of this to your boyfriend. I am sure it would make him feel like a hottie as well *Wink*


Review 2/3
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72
72
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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*Balloon1**Balloon2*Happy WDC Birthday!*Balloon3**Balloon4*



Since it is your 13th month of sobriety today and your WDC anniversary, I felt it would be a good idea to visit the wonderful forum that was created and dedicated to you to celebrate you one year of sobriety last month.

I am so proud of you, for many reasons...but most importantly for this huge accomplishment. You have much to be proud of. I am happy to call you a friend and even more happy to know I will be in your life as you grow and spread your wings!

I love you!



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Reviewers welcome

Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!

Just click the link! *Smile*
73
73
Review of Equilibrium  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Ken,

I am here to review you again *Smile* I am wondering if I am going to run out of things to review in your port. Thank goodness, you always seem to be creating.

I love this poem. It reminded me of yin/yang-light and darkness must coexist. I felt very sad when reading, what felt to me, to be about a battle with depression. You offered the hope that it can all get better and will if you wait and/or search for the light.

The flow was great and the rhyme scheme was noted.

Another piece of yours that has touched my soul. Thank you for sharing!
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74
Review of Dove  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This is a collection of numerous poems. I think I have mentioned this to you before (with your collection number one) but it is hard to really concentrate on a poem when there are so many on one page. There are more than three and it gets to where the reader has to stop themselves from reading too fast. I want to enjoy and savor each poem. I would recommend splitting these up if you can into different static items or at least splitting them into groups of three (perhaps by subject content).

I really liked the Thanksgiving poem. It reminded me of my sister who always put ketchup on her turkey. Ick! LOL

I also enjoyed "snowflakes' and "Among the Kelp.' This does not mean I did not enjoy the others, these three were just my favorites.
75
75
Review of Perfection  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This is a free verse poem you have written concerning your art. You give us a description of how you go about your art and how you worry that your works are completed.

Do you use charcoal or pastels? I use pastels mostly but am thinking of changing from drawing to painting when I can afford the necessary items. Do you have any of your art posted? I would love to see it.
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