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126
Review of Saved By A Bug  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: You couldn't have made this better if you had tried. I'm sorry, I was laughing with you, with not at I swear. Having had many an adventure because of locked in keys myself, I felt your pain. You wonderfully detailed this story, giving us enough to make us laugh but not so much it bogged the flow down. Well done.

Why I could relate to your work: Um, yeah, all I can say as a teenager is thank goodness my father was a locksmith in a former life. That and I never ventured to far from home so if they had to bring a spare key, it wasn't that big of a deal.

My suggestions: I don't have any. This was great just the way it is. I enjoyed every word of it and laughed out loud at the end.

Any noticeable typos: I was too immersed in the story to see anything pop out.

My favorite line(s): There were so many I couldn't pick just one. Aw, the day of pay phones, a notion completely lost on my daughters' generation. They're all eleven and under and question why there were phone boxes on the side of the road for Superman to change in. Sigh, anywho, great story.

In conclusion: Overall, I loved this. The perfect thing to read on a slow day. Well done and glad you got that dilemma meshed out without having to share your humiliation. As they say, write on, and happy anniversary.


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127
127
Review of Old One Ear  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I loved the story you wove, with all the little details related to kitties, especially Pawpa and Mewma. It cracked me up, just made it purrrfect.

Why I could relate to your work: I have a faerie tale where I try to stay in the character of the faerie with children are all nymphs and the women are damselflies when spoke about individually. It seems like an easy enough concept but I know it's actually difficult to make sure you do every time :P.

My suggestions: I'm not honestly a fan of how it opens up. It's cute, but we have the briefest look at what seems like present time only to find out it's really past because the main cat is sharing more what touched her after his death. Which, even that would be okay except for you have the self narrative start in that "present" time with the cat already talking down herself as opposed to being the arrogant kitten she would have been at that time. I don't know if I'm explaining it right but the timeline just seemed off to me. Hmm, hope that makes sense ;).

""Do mew even know how to read and write?"" I thought that line was cute but it left me wondering why they didn't say "mew" for every "you" or why that one was specifically special. I would say either make it universal or maybe explain why that one gets the feline treatment.

Any noticeable typos: To be fair, I got lost in the story and didn't notice anything blatantly obvious. There could be minor things, but the story involved me too much for me to notice.

My favorite line(s): "I was very busily charitable, helping my Pawpa one day to open a new wing to a hospital, or helping my Mewma fill baskets for the needy." I just loved the names, they were too cute and added a touch of character to the story. Plus, I liked how it showed the kitten offering her aid, from afar, definitely showed she wanted to do it from her safety net.

In conclusion: I thought this was just adorable and well put together. I loved how you used the cat's world, making it so similar to ours but tweaking just the right things to make it the cat's. As they say, write on, and happy anniversary.


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128
128
Review of The Beach  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: The tale you shared in this hilarious poem had me giggling as I pictured the whole experience. You did well with the descriptions and the flow was overall pleasant.

Why I could relate to your work: When I was pregnant with my oldest, my husband took me out to the beach. We swam out past the breakers (scared the puh-tooty out of me as I'm scared of water I cannot see in) and that part was fun, but when we swam back in, I got bowled over by a wave. As I was trying to come up for air, another one took me out. I got dragged about twenty feet down the shore and gave both my husband and myself a good scare. As I was reading this, that experience came to mind and I could feel that horror as the water tossed me around like I was nothing more than an empty bottle. Shudder. Well done.

My suggestions: The opening tripped me up a bit and though I don't have any suggestions on how to fix it, I would recommend you read it out loud. If you have to repeat it several times to find the right rhythm to make it work, chances are your readers had an even more difficult time. Just something to keep in mind. Other than that though, nothing caused me to fumble.

Any noticeable typos: Poetry's a little more difficult in this area as punctuation takes the backseat. So, I'm gonna go with I didn't see anything blatant.

My favorite line(s): "A great white whale floundering about,
Hoping against hope that the tide might go out." The entire poem is laced with excellent imagery that really brings the scene to life, but this particular set had me cracking up. I smiled again even as I wrote this, imaging the poor narrator being tossed about by the waves while the silly men laughed at the sight. Good thing they were there to witness the humiliation, and provide rescue.

In conclusion: I enjoyed this immensely and will probably still be chuckling about it tomorrow. I loved how you pulled it all together and the imagery sucked me in. A hilarious read. As they say, write on, and welcome to the WDC. Hope to see more of your work floating around the site.


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129
Review of Write Stuff  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: It was fun to read and definitely spoke to the writers in all of us. I laughed as I wove my way through your catchy lines.

Why I could relate to your work: Well, as an avid reader and writer, the title alone was enough to grab my eye.

My suggestions: M'eh, I don't really have any to offer. My only "complaint" is that sometimes the rhyming makes the language feel forced, but it happens sometimes when trying to keep it in the poetry scheme.

Any noticeable typos: I did not see anything that pulled my attention from your words.

My favorite line(s): "Although I do love to read,
I have this obsessive need
to also write stuff--
light stuff or dark stuff
or any kind of stuff indeed." The first stanza cracked me up and was completely something I can identify with. Must write, oh how I must write :P.

In conclusion: This was a fun quirky read that appealed to the writing side of our nature. Nicely put together. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.


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130
Review of Spectrum  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I love how this reads quite deep, asking the questions and addressing the never ending search for the answers, but does without feeling pretentious. That's a difficult line to straddle but I think you mastered it well.

Why I could relate to your work: We're all going to die so it's a question I'm sure has crossed everyone's mind at one point or another, certainly has mine. I figure, we'll all know for sure when it's over cause either we'll live life afterwards or rot away. So, I liked the concept of this quite a bit.

My suggestions: My only beef was the capitalization of random words. It distracted me from the poem and made me wonder if you wrote this for a prompt or something that needed you to emphasis the words used. I'm not sure what the purpose was as rather than make me, as the reader, put greater emphasis on the word, it made me trip and stumble and jerked me out of the flow. Other than that, I really enjoyed this. Thought you did well on the wording, rhymed without having to brutalize the lines, and addressed many peoples' concerns. Nicely done.

Any noticeable typos: Asides from the capitalization, I didn't see anything that pulled me from your words.

My favorite line(s): "We're here today, gone tomorrow, time shall Surpass.
For our Life runs out just as sand through an hour-glass. " First off, as I read this, it made me think of a soap opera my mom used to con me into sitting through with her after class, but I think it's a wonderful start to this poem. It drew me, in, built up the intrigue and was great imagery right off the bat. I was sucked in and had to read the rest of it.

In conclusion: I liked this and think you did a lovely job at creating a soul searching piece that was upfront about the subject and didn't leave the reader scratching their head in confusion, wondering if they understood the poet's intent. I have utter respect for an author that can pull off such a feat. So, well done. As they say, write on! Happy anniversary!


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131
Review of Shallow Blood  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Well, hello there: Was scanning the horror section and the title and description grabbed my attention.

What I love about your work: This has a lot of potential to be a fun slasher. You've got a good setting just in the description alone, you need to carry it further.

Why I could relate to your work: I love slasher flicks, and this totally felt like one. I hope to see you continue it.

My suggestions: Well, obviously, this needs more. It's hard to judge off of only a couple of paragraphs. But I do have a few ideas.

The first is, if your main character is the killer, you need to change the opening. That much personal angst with friends and bitterness immediately sends up red flags. You may want to do more showing of why the character is so peeved at his/her friends, instead of telling us. If they're not the killer, you still want to develop it more. We need to see why the friends are so obnoxious, not just be told.

Secondly, I would recommend going into more details about the room with Tara in it. Is the bed rumpled, perfectly made? Has her blood pooled on the floor below, seeping into wood or splashing across tile., soaking carpet. Did the tang of copper blanket the air, fragrance of death, something smell-wise? Instead of saying blood, use words like crimson, her life, etc. You want to involve us more with the death scene, bring it more to life. Yeah, the irony's not lost on me, you want to make the death scene more lively. The same could be said about the turning off the faucet moment.

Thirdly, you should break this into more paragraphs. The emotions caused by the friend should be separate, the search for the source of the drip should be separate, so should Tara's room, even the scream for help. You want to break it up, help with the flow of the story.

"Not that it was scary, but the silence was all too suspenseful." This line bothered me because suspenseful does not seem like the right word. Ominous, malevolent... something dark. Suspenseful feels like the main character should be chewing their nails in a corner cause that quiet is gonna get them. Hope that makes sense.

And my last suggestion is just a reminder, try to stay in the same tense the whole time. The last line, you switch to present tense, but you've written the tale in past. You want to keep it one way unless you're doing like flashbacks and such, but this doesn't feel like that. Tenses are terribly distracting to the reader when they switch around.

Any noticeable typos: Nothing more than what I've already pointed out.

In conclusion: I think you could have something fun if you clean it up a bit and develop it more. I would like to see more character development and see where you take the story. So, keep it up, hope to see more. As they say, write on.


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132
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: There is a certain element of panic to your work that captures the essence of a child under spiritual attack. A freaky tale indeed.

Why I could relate to your work: I live in my own little haunted house, so I can relate to the true ghost story. Some people will believe you, others won't; but in the end, it's only your belief that matters.

My suggestions: My first suggestion would be to fix the format. It's easier on eyes, especially older ones, if there are line breaks in blocks of text. I would suggest simply adding another line between each paragraph.

Secondly, I once had someone explain to me that in a story, you never start to do something, you simply do something. In your story, it states you started to go to your brother's room and to your parents', which suggests you didn't actually get there. I would change the wording to better reflect your actions. For instance, you hurried to your brother's room, you raced to your parents. Be more action verbs.

The end feels a little contradictory to me. You prayed for the good spirits to rest and they did, which seems concerning cause it's like, wouldn't you be concerned about the wicked ones coming for you since the good ones were resting? But even with that concern set aside, you state you have not seen a spirit since but feel safe knowing that your guardian angel is always watching you. I think you should go a little more into why you're confident of that knowledge. Perhaps you've felt him/her watching over you, just a warm secure feeling here and there, a touch on your heart that lets you know. Something more.

Any noticeable typos: The things I mentioned above were what caught my attention.

In conclusion: It sounds like you had quite an experience and kudos to being able to tell us about it later. Was an interesting read. Happy Anniversary!


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133
Review of Genie  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I think this is a wonderful opening that gives us a peek into a dark and lonely world full of promise and potential hope. I liked the idea of the genie being trapped and us seeing the perspective from his or her view. I also enjoyed the wishes, it was cute.

Why I could relate to your work: I enjoy trips into the fantasy world, especially ones that create parallel places that could be ours with just a simple tweak of that fantasy element.

My suggestions: My biggest hiccough with this tale is that it invited us into this world, but left out too much detail to truly bring us in. I found myself full of questions at the end. Why did the genie get angry? What rules made it acceptable for the kid to touch the cake, but not the mother? Did the genie know if the wrong person touched the lamp, he/she would be free? I felt like it needs more fleshing out to fully reveal the story. Otherwise, I find too many "why" questions occurring.

"It was a long time ago. " This line is interesting, but ambiguous. The tale does not go on to explain what was a long time ago. I assume the last time the genie was used for wishes, but it's left so vague it could be the change into a genie, or the capture, or this event. I think it might be a stronger opening if "It" were turned into the actual event being referenced.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't notice anything.

My favorite line(s): "My body expanded like a balloon. I yawned and stretched. It felt good to be free again, though an invisible chain of pearls inside my lamp still held me captive." I loved the imagery here and really felt it helped connect the reader to the scene. I would love to know more about the chain and what rules contain the genie, and why. But that's my curiosity kicking in ;).

In conclusion: I think this story has a lot of potential and with some polishing, could really shine. I loved the idea of a genie trapped and getting to see the world from their view. Just think a few more details are needed to make this connect better with the reader. Was a fun read, as they say, write on.


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134
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: I love the premise to this; it's dark, brutal and the twist at the end was a great addition. I enjoyed the characters and how Bonnie is used as blackmail to keep the main character doing things he knows are terrible.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm a huge horror fan, so I love things that toy with your mind and leave you feeling a little broken from reading it.

My suggestions: I think you have a really strong idea. My biggest beef is that all of this is written in the past tense voice, and is telling the reader, not showing the reader. Rather than having the main character sharing what happened, telling us what led up to the last moment; put the reader into the tale. Have flashbacks so we can see Sam's character up close, details about the scents, the tastes, touch, etc.,. I think if you were willing to flesh this out some, you would have a very entertaining, grabbing story. I could picture this in my mind as a movie, with the last scene panning out to his sister screaming hysterically in the window of his apartment as she looks down or something like that.

My favorite line(s): I loved the twist. Made me want to know more about Bonnie's time with Sam, or even if they had set up the brother together or something like that. It was a great ending, very abrupt and like I said, brutal.

In conclusion: I think this was a great read and could really become something astounding if you were to come back to it. The characters were easy to believe and made you feel for them in their respective manners. I enjoyed it. If you get a chance, you should come check out the Screams. It is a horror story contest that occurs almost daily, and often, you get gps points just for entering. We are always looking for more writers to compete and show off their talent. Welcome to the WDC, hope to see more of your work.


FORUM
SCREAMS!!!  (GC)
A Terrifying Contest Of Horror And Three Time Quill Award Winner!
#2020439 by Lilli 🧿 ☕



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135
Review of Lost in a Haze  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: This was a cute depiction of the mess allergies and the medicine make of our lives. It made me chuckle.

Why I could relate to your work: I suffer from hay fever and allergies to dogs, so I know what misery that wreaks on one's life.

My suggestions: I don't really have any. This flows well and is a funny take on allergies.

Any noticeable typos: I thought I found one, but after squinting (I'm on a small laptop and all the text is itty bitty), I realized the period was actually a comma. So, smiles, didn't find anything that tore me from your words.

My favorite line(s): "“Honey? Benadryl haze?”
as he hands me a tissue." And everything is explained in just two short lines. A strong conclusion.

In conclusion: This was cute, definitely humorous. And my sympathies go out to you for having to deal with a benadryl haze. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.


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136
Review of Run or Die  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Aw, so you requested a review from me and here I am. Hope it is up to your expectations.

What I love about your work: This feels like a nightmare, something created by the subconscious to deal with a heart or something else similar. It's an interesting read.

Why I could relate to your work: As a horror fan, this pulls up many a bloody scene. I half expected to have it morph into the narrator being the one holding the ax-handle.

My suggestions: I think this needs more, whether it be just a different title and description, or maybe an explanation of the situation, I couldn't say, but something... more. If this is literally a chase scene, it needs more explanation of how they got in the mess or why the killer does what he does. If it's something that's only a representation of a relationship, we need an indicator of that as well.

Noticeable typos: "I saw saw water so I started running faster." "saw" is repeated.

My favorite line(s): "I am running
You're by my side.
I gasp for air, he's following us." It's an intriguing opening that definitely makes me wonder where you're going to take us. Feels very dreamlike to me.

In conclusion: I found this to be an interesting read, but I think you could develop it a bit. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.


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Review of Night Crown  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: This feels like a painting created with words. It's beautiful, dark and fantastical. Very intriguing.

Why I could relate to your work: This evoked a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia in my mind, and I imaged all sorts of terrible things hooting and hollering, dancing about, and a beautiful being subjected to their maddening dance.

My suggestions: "Trance-like and scared she dances." I think this would read just a touch smoother with a comma after scared.

Any noticeable typos: "They’re her dream, her nightmare and yet she cannot leave." A comma would fit well after nightmare.

My favorite line(s): "The Queen walks away from her subjects into the rising light,
Her black crown turning to dust and mist." I think this is a strong conclusion to this piece, and love the idea of her crown dissolving into dust and mist.

In conclusion: I think this was a lovely piece that paints a great picture with words. Well done. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.



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138
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: There is a solid concept here, something to provoke questions and make you take a moment to look at life.

Why I could relate to your work: Having been married since I was nineteen, there are many challenges my husband and I have faced. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, so I was drawn into the idea of what you were suggesting.

My suggestions: I feel like this is an incomplete essay. When doing essays, you want to break down the paragraphs to one for each point. For instance, one for the working spouses. A new one for the divorces. I also feel like this lumps marriages into only one category. Many spouses still choose to be at home parents, both male and female, and myself included. I don't know how to explain it, but the way the information is presented, it feels assumptive and dismissive of such marriages. Being friends with people who are also in relationships as you've listed, where both parents work, I know many who still find ways to socialize with each other and balance the family workload at home. So, I think in order to make valid comparisons, the essay should take such relationships into account too.

But even set aside that aside, typically when doing an essay to make a point for or against something, you want more than two examples. An essay should use at least three points to support a theory.

I feel this needs more to validate the points.

Any noticeable typos: I did notice a few misplaced words, but I think the content needs to be addressed before the minor typos.

In conclusion: I think you do have a solid concept, but it needs to be developed further. Certainly, it needs more points to back it up. An interesting read. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.



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139
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: Quite an entertaining read that exploited so many of our odd sayings involving animals. Made me chuckle and shake my head, maybe we're a bit animalistic.

Why I could relate to your work: I love plays on words so this was right up my alley.

My suggestions: I don't have any to offer. I didn't see anything that pulled me from your work and the end result made me laugh.

In conclusion: This was a fun read that took advantage of some of our more animal inspired sayings. It was an enjoyable read that came together nicely. As they say, write on and happy anniversary.


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140
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: Even if your kitty wasn't dressed to the nine in his sharp tuxedo suit, you'd still be underdressed. We just can't compete with what cats think they bring to the table. I think this was a fun read

Why I could relate to your work: I used to have a tuxedo cat, Apollo. Granted, I made the mistake of calling his sister Aphrodite, never ever name your cat after the goddess of love. It's a bad invitation. Nonetheless, I understand the love you feel for your sharp dressed cat.

My suggestions: I would recommend reading this out loud, anywhere you have to change your pace to fit the lines, your readers are going to be stumbling over harder. Reading this out loud will help you find those spots and perhaps smooth them out a bit.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see any typos that dragged me away from your words.


In conclusion: This was cute and made me chuckle. Quite a fun read, well done. happy anniversary.


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Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: Such a sweet dedication, it's clear you love someone dearly and that the love is reciprocated.

Why I could relate to your work: Having been married to my best friend for nearly twelve years, I am honored to say I have found my true love. So, it's always fun to read about someone else discovering that pleasure and satisfaction.

My suggestions: As this is a personal poem, I don't really have anything to offer.

Any noticeable typos: The only thing I might suggest is a little more punctuation to guide the reader in pausing in proper places.

My favorite line(s): "I may not have all the answers,

but I have it all with you." This is a great opening that draws in the reader from the beginning.

In conclusion: It's a sweet devotion. Quite a pleasant read, happy anniversary.


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Review of Halloween  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I love how much detail you packed into such a short poem. It flows beautifully well. It made me think of an opening to a fun story, and of course, Vincent Price reading it ;).

Why I could relate to your work: I picked this out of your profile because the title and description grabbed me.

My suggestions: I do not have any. I enjoyed the flow, the words came together well, and of course, the imagery was awesome. Nicely done.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that grabbed my attention from your words.

My favorite line(s): I enjoyed the entire piece and couldn't pick a favorite as it all flowed together and painted a fun picture.

In conclusion: I liked this a lot and am glad I got to read it. Well done and happy anniversary.


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Review of Incomplete  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: You have so much imagery packed in this and there's a kind of breathless excitement to your words that pulls the reader in.

Why I could relate to your work: I think, in a way, most of us are on an endless quest to find who we are. You stumble forward, sometimes lost within the beauty of the world and other times, feeling crushed by the weight of all you feel coming your way. I like the idea of self exploration and knowing there is more out there.

My suggestions: A few of the sentences felt a little too much like run-ons, and might be better broken down. But considering this is more of a personal prose that has us rushing headlong with you, I don't know that changing it would keep that effect.

Any noticeable typos: I noticed a couple of minor comma errors, but again, personal piece, don't think it really matters.

My favorite line(s): "Something is happening to me, something that I've waited my entire life for, but it seems that over the year I have forgotten what it is." I like this idea and feel it's something we can all identify with. And just a side note, I found something I would offer a suggestion on. The way this is written, years would flow a bit better than year.

In conclusion: This was a nice piece, offering us a peek into your soul and tempting us to acknowledge parts of ourselves that perhaps we deny. Well done and happy anniversary.


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Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing your work for the Nuclear package on "Invalid Item" 

What I love about your work: I sat there reading this, thinking what is actually about? I was tickled when I discovered the true flavor of this piece. I love the title, the description, the way it built up, and of course, the undeniably, tantalizaing climax. It was fun to read and left me smiling.

Why I could relate to your work: We all have that naughty pleasure that makes us melt into the floor and swoon at getting even a small sample. I enjoyed this quite a bit.

My suggestions: Word count definitely restricted this and think it would be fun to develop it further. However, in the span of 100 words, I do not have any other suggestions to offer.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that grabbed my attention from your story.

My favorite line(s): "I gave into temptation.

I took another bite of the chocolate cake." Lol, yes, this cracked me up.

In conclusion: This was a very entertaining read and like I said, I loved the build up. A delightfully fun read. As they say, write on.


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Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: Such a beautiful journey from beginning to end, I loved the metaphors and the imagery and how you went from doing your own thing to being lost to being saved. It was very well written and I loved the message it carried without slapping us in the face with it. That's a fine line to straddle, but you did it very well.

Why I could relate to your work: I grew up very Christian and though I no longer believe in the church, I still believe in God and know the strength and security offered by faith.

My suggestions: I don't have any, other than I would suggest you submit this to a spiritual publication or something cause I thought it was nicely done. The flow was good, the imagery beautiful, the message easy to understand.

Any noticeable typos: I did not see anything that pulled me from your words.

My favorite line(s): "There had been better days.
I prospered in my own ambitions
of being my own Pharaoh and building my own pyramids,
enjoying all my life around the River Nile of family, church, and good fortune,
paying homage to the god of this river for a while." I like the idea you were doing your own thing and thought you had all your ducks lined up and then life turned upside down.

In conclusion: This was well done and rich with details. Quite a treat to read. Happy anniversary.


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Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: It's always good to question your faith, even in science, you must always strive to better yourself and explore what new proof is out there in support or opposition. I also like how you show how cold facts can be dismissed with devotion.

Why I could relate to your work: I was raised in a Christian household and while I do maintain of the lessons taught by the church, now that I am older and question things, I just cannot believe in the church. That and I believe in faeries ;).

My suggestions: I don't know that I have any other than trying to convince someone their faith is poorly placed is akin to beating your head against a wall. All you can do is present the evidence in a calm, rational way and hope they absorb it. Beating them with proof doesn't do any more good than them beating you with faith. Human nature is interesting.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me out of your words.

My favorite line(s): "There’s no Santa Clause." That just made me crack up, and ha ha, I did find an error. Claus not Clause.

In conclusion: This was a fun piece that appealed to the non-religious side of me. I'm sure you've gotten a fair share of frowns over it, but I'm sure you've also gotten cheers for it too. A great speculative read. Happy anniversary.


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Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, hello there: Found this at the FSFS review board and thought I'd give it a peek. It sounded interesting and it did not fail to live up to my expectations.

What I love about your work: You did an amazing job of weaving together this desperate hunt that feels just all but impossible. I loved all of it, for it feels dark and lonely, beautiful and yet has its funny moments too.

Why I could relate to your work: I just answered a question on here that I would love to be Xev from the Lexx, and one of the reasons was I loved how she got to explore so much in space. It's a scary but awesome concept and so I was entranced with this right from the beginning.

My suggestions: I don't really have any. I thought the flow as great, didn't feel forced, told a story in poem form, and ended wonderfully.

My favorite line(s): "Care to donate fuel, maybe?
We could say I stole it..." This made me chuckle. I don't know why but I envisioned Hans Solo trying to charm his way out of some fuel, leaning up against a ship and winking a bit. Liked it though because it lightened up the somber mood.

In conclusion: Overall, I think this came together very well and am glad I decided to check it out. Nicely done. Write on.


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Review of Ordinary Things  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: First off, sorry about that first review. Got over excited and hit submit before I started :P. Anywho, I loved this. Loved the gentle appreciation, the counting of blessings and the realization that ordinary things are really amazing.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm a house-mom and wife and have been for going on twelve years. While I've never had a moment of regret for choosing this path, some days are certainly harder than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My family is everything and I appreciate this poem because it spoke to the very depths of my soul.

My suggestions: I don't have anything to offer. It flowed well, had a beautiful message, had a great voice. I loved it.

My favorite line(s): "And if this is a life of ordinary things,
That’s all right with me." Love, love, LOVE this. It's a beautiful conclusion to such a wonderful poem.

In conclusion: So, I might be a bit biased on this poem as I relate to it very much so. But, even set that bias aside, this is a well done piece. Quite a lovely read. Happy anniversary.


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Review of I know a bully  
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: Overall, the flow moved well which is a difficult thing to achieve when you have a rhyming poem. I think it also accurately captures why some people are mean.

Why I could relate to your work: I've known my fair share of bullies in my life. Heck, I remember this girl who used to tease me relentlessly in p.e. on an almost daily period. My father told me how to gut her and one day, I did. She kept coming at me so I turned around and asked if she was so mean because she was being molested by her daddy. I hit a very raw nerve and even without her attempts to get a gang of girls to beat me up, I felt like a shmuck for saying it. However, she did not bother me again for the rest of the year so it may have been bitterly cruel, but it did shut her down. Moral of the story, I can relate to bullies having backstory.

My suggestions: "He wants to escape

But he's going round the bend" The bend line threw me out of the rhythm a bit. If you could find a way to trim it a bit to keep in line with the rest of the poem, but otherwise, I didn't really see anything I would change.

My favorite line(s): "He hates what he's done

Hates what he's said" Ah, the feels.

In conclusion: I think this certainly covers a certain kind of person who gets overlooked because of the most loud aspect of their personality. It flowed well and came together nicely. Well done and welcome to the WDC.


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150
150
Review by Siobhan Falen
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: Your story made me say "Oh" out loud. What a dark and tragic tale that makes one eye their fish tank a little differently. Poor suicidal fish.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm actually very into fish so this title grabbed me from the beginning, though made me feel ever so slightly guilty for having them. Poor fishies, but mine aren't alone. They've got buddies... to share in their suffering. Oh, the cruelty. Seriously, I found this to be an interesting take on the life of a fish in a fish bowl.

And just for the record, as I was reading your story, I envisioned Goldie from Pinocchio.

My suggestions: "as the fish alone carried" Think this line might read a little better with a comma before and after alone.

Any noticeable typos: Other than what I mentioned above, nothing leaped out at me.

My favorite line(s): "One fine day, the fish bit into the oxygen tube, felt all the air sucked out of her, and floated to the surface upside down." Brutal, straight to the point, and given my Goldie imagery, quite a scene to unfold in my head.

In conclusion: I liked that you took a common household experience and turned it upside down, forcing the reader to consider their upside down fish and wonder. A fun read. Happy anniversary.



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