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 |  My life in Tel Aviv. Welcome to Israel! |
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Shalom! I was born outside of Haifa, moved to Tel Aviv when I was twelve, and served in the Israeli Defense Force for two years. Now, I am a student at TAU. I hope I can show the world the humanity of my nation. We're not so different, after all.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world. |
| 8:30 P.M. - Home (for now) My roommate last night: "Noa, I don't like to dance. I hate dancing. I am afraid of people coming up and trying to rape me. I am afraid of being blown up--clubs get blown up, you know! We didn't have this kind of dancing in Heftsi Bah. I do not like to dance. I do not want to drink. I do not want cigarette. I want to go back to the appartment and go to bed, because it is late. What if there are terrorists? Arabs are at the Shuk? What if they come here? I do not like to dance." IT IS TEL AVIV! Why did she come here if she was not ready for the city? So annoying. I try to have a good time, and she is sitting in a corner with big eyes like afraid of everything. You don't want to drink? Fine. I didn't have a drink. No big deal. Just have some fun! She was in the army. How can she be afraid of this? Shabbat Shalom, also. |
| 5:20 P.M. - Cafe I have a question. What the hell is the point of waiting for the bus? Why am I waiting for the bus? Why is the bus not waiting for me? I am the one paying the bus! I wait twenty minutes for bus 14 and bus 14 never comes. Seriously? Because walking to the Carmel shuk means I can't be back for dinner with roommates. So, thank you, bus 14: thank you for not letting me get to the Carmel shuk to buy something special to give to my sister for her engagement. Also some of our friendly Palestinian neighbors shot at two Israeli drivers, "lightly" injuring them. We are also evacuating people out of the West Bank, NOT because of Obama. Because we want to. There is a difference. Anyway reikidreamer sent me a recipe for a cheesecake, so my roommates and I and our newest roommate (who was supposed to arrive ten minutes ago--evidently everyone has decided to be late today) are going to attempt to make it. I really hope this new roommate is not intolerable. I hate when buses are late. |
| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwwv_2_LaBo&feature=related Eretz Nehederet is a popular Israeli comedy that satirizes current events. I think it kind of like the American "Saturday Live Night" (or whatever it is called). And all the actors who portray like Shimon Peres, Ehud Barak, Tzipi Livni, and various Arabs become really popular. Especially Asi Cohen. Very funny  .And I hate when the headlines tease us and say that we're getting close to a deal to free Gilad Shalit, and then everybody gets excited and there's no deal. There was this repulsive Palestinian cartoon that Hamas produced that shows Gilad chained to a wall pleading with some Arab kid to let him go, and the Arab kid says no because the Israelis have taken his relatives as prisoners. Except that our political prisoners are terrorists, and Gilad was just an IDF soldier. Really makes me angry. I tried a macchiato today at my new coffee cafe. It is good, but I still like the cappuccinos better. Vienna in eight days! I hope I can go to Berlin, too. I've only been to Berlin once, and only for a day. And I am half-thinking of perhaps planning a trip to America with some friends this December, after Chanukuh. Someone told me New York City was really pretty during the winter, but I am not used to the cold  . |
| 4:00 P.M. - Cafe No more vacation in Sinai  . Our security board has released a notice for all Israelis that tells us to avoid at all costs going for any reason to Jordan, Kenya, Moracco, Egypt, or the Sinai Peninsula. Hizbullah is evidently in the mood for some kidnapping and torturing, and they figured out how many of us love Sinai. So there goes my plan for next week! Thank G-d for Europe being always safe. (Irony).Meanwhile we've got all this new military equiptment from the Pentagon, and since the Gazan militants have decided firing more missiles at us is a good idea, we may get a chance to use it. This reinforces my belief that people never learn. ...Why am I so pessimistic? I have no personal news. Just political news. This is no good!Cappuccino or frozen tea? This is really a very difficult decision. They are both overpriced, but one gives me energy and the other refreshes me. I have an urge to swear like an American. Hebrew swear words are comparitively lame. |
| 8:30 P.M. - Home When Jacob was finally given an exit visa by the Russians and allowed to immigrate to Israel, he was told he could only take what he could put into one suitcase. At Moscow airport, he was stopped by customs and an official shouted, "Open your case at once." Jacob did what he was told. The official searched through his case and pulled out something wrapped in newspaper. He unwrapped it and saw it was a bust of Stalin. "What is that?" he shouted at Jacob. Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?' - you should ask 'Who is that?' That is our glorious leader Stalin. I'm taking it to remind me of the wonderful things he did for me and the marvellous life that I am leaving behind." The official sneered. "I always knew you Jews were mad. Go, and take the bust with you." When Jacob arrived at Ben Gurion airport, a customs officer said, "Shalom, welcome to Israel, open your case, please!" Jacob's case was once again searched and not surprisingly the bust was found. "What is that?” asked the officer. Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?' - you should ask 'Who is that?' That is Stalin the bastard. I want to spit on it every day to remind me of all the suffering and misery he caused me." The official laughed, "I always knew you Russians were mad. Go, and take the bust with you." When Jacob arrived at his new home, his young nephew watched him as he unpacked. Jacob carefully unwrapped the bust of Stalin and put it on the table. "Who is that?" asked his nephew. Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask 'Who is that?' - you should ask 'What is that?' That is five kilos of gold." |
| 6:23 P.M. - Beach Our deputy FM: "If, heaven forbid, one hair is harmed on the head of an Israeli representative abroad or of an unofficial representative such as a tourist, we will view Hezbollah as responsible, and it will suffer the consequences, which will be very severe." Yes. Very severe . Very, very severe because guess who just bought a bunch of new fancy fighter jets from the Pentagon? What now, Hezbollah? You want a war? (They do, actually. And they promise us it will make 2006 "look like a joke". Bring it.)And speaking of fighting words! I found a cheaper coffee cafe . And I made sure to let the old cafe know by loudly commenting on this discovery while using their public restroom. Because I think it is only fair they know of their competition . |
| 2:00 A.M. - Home (safe) 70,000 people at the rally. 70,000! Everyone I had ever met was there, I think! Shimon Peres was there and he made like this really motivating speech about how this shooting impacted every Israeli, because we are all one people. He said, "Bullets will not change the principles of our lives, and murderers will not prosper." In temple this morning the Rabbi said that the two people killed must not be forgotten, just like no murder must ever be forgotten. The danger is in losing memory. So let us remember, and in remembering, let us work to prevent the deaths of any more innocent people. So let me say this to the Arab world that wants us gone, and to all those who have expressed hatred at any Israeli: Tel Aviv will not be a place for crime or hatred or murder. Tel Aviv will stand as a place for unity and for hope and for love. WHEW. I am inspired. |
| 5:00 P.M. - Cafe Good news: Fatah will continue to sacrifice Palestinians until they get all of Jerusalem. That's great, Fatah. Really great. Says a lot about your love for humanity. I see no progress was made this year at their conference .Also... MY SISTER IS ENGAGED. |
| 2:00 A.M. - Home My favorite part about going out with guys is afterwards, when you pick apart everything he did and analyze just how much of an ass he really is. Also the look on the guy's face when he realizes he's not getting lucky. To my date, Ido, who proved all the cynical points I've made about men true: A romantic walk on the beach is not romantic if it includes a spontaneous game of "let's count how many girls I've had sex with in the past two months!" But nice try. And walking me back to my appartment is not chivalrous if you stand in front of my door for five minutes staring at my chest and trying to decide how best to get with me. And texting me a half hour after I've locked the door on your face to apologize for being "kind of aggressive" and then promptly inviting me to see the new American comedy tomorrow is not adorable, it's pathetic. But, Ido, you just made Daniel, the guy I went out with last week, look like Israeli's greatest bachelor... |
| 6:30 P.M. -Cafe We bought the swine flu vaccine from France. Look at us, being as proactive as usual . We do not eat pigs. We do like pigs. And we're sure as hell not going to get sick from pigs.I do not know if anyone is familiar with Israeli music? Popular here is a hip-hop artist called Subliminal, and sometimes he's joined by this guy called "the Shadow". Here's some overdramatic stuff popular here by him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDYAYa03Jq0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVYanQ5r6rw&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPPjlmaG8Bw We have some old halfway decent stuff from like Arik Einstein and we have won Eurovision I think three times? But Israeli music is just okay. American music makes the rest of the world look bad . There are Palestinian rap artists here who rap about how mad they are at us and how much we suck, etc. etc. And the funny thing? It's pretty good and generally very popular. So you have the number one song is an Israeli rapping about the strength of his people, and then the number two song is the Palestinian rapping about the strength of HIS people. And it's music, so everyone just dances. You'll be in a club and the songs will be Hebrew, and then Arabic, and nobody notices, really. Nobody cares. I am going out with a guy tonight... |
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