Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation.
|white-grey ashes choke
this heat-filled valley — poplars
flame in shades of gold
I turn to watch potatoes
start to sizzle on the stove
© Kåre Enga [177.219b] (14.september.2020)
I just kept to American 5/7/5 7/7.
17 Charcoal skies glower / over withering hills — moisten / maple-lined streets
11 The east wind freshens / to wipe my sweat away. [219a]
17 the neon sign sells / gasoline by the gallon / under pewter skies
14 do I venture out for milk / or do I stay warm inside [219c]
(an observation out my window)
What I have read over many years is that it's 5/7/5/7/7 usually 5/7/5 and 7/7.
But that is onji not syllables.
On-line: "The tanka is sometimes separated by the three “upper lines” (kami no ku) and the two “lower ones” (shimo no ku)." The two parts feel linked which is also traditional (a verbal bridge). Traditionally it is written as one line.
This is an interesting website that has some 'modern' tanka in translation by a contemporary Japanese writer: