Radio Steve, broadcasting the latest news and gossip from the asylum
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What you read here may seem shocking, and it might even be true, so please make a comment... and then the next headline will be YOU! Mwahahahaha!
|It drifted away from it's original premise and lost it's mojo. In the fragile world of "things created by unreliable people" that's as good as a death sentence. The only question now is should it be death by hanging, bludgeoning, or that nifty process with the four horses headed four different ways? I would post a crying emoticon now except that my emotions are numb. Turns out storing your emoticons in the freezer is a terrible idea. Yes, they will rot if you leave them out on the counter, but don't store them up. Let's face it, you have to use them or lose them. This week I will be experiencing a years worth of emotions. Some of them smell a bit but I think they're still usable. Especially revenge. Revenge never goes bad. You can serve it hot, you can serve it cold. Unfortunately, no one has done me a bad deed so I'll have to inflict revenge randomly on some innocent stranger. That's almost certain to get me on the evening news. I better get a haircut first.
|Red, white, golden, and clear...
Red - made with tomato juice or sauce - EX: vegetable beef
White - made with milk or potatoes - EX: clam chowder
Golden - made with winter squash or pumpkin
Clear - just broth - EX: chicken noodle soup
If you can think of another category of soup please notify me immediately.
|Health Insurance is a scam if you're healthy. I pay the monthly premiums but get nothing back! I don't take pills or require any body parts removed or transplanted. The insurance company loves me -- I am pure profit for them.
But I can't quit the insurance because it's a low-cost premium and if you stop your insurance and then start up again a couple of years later the premiums will skyrocket. My only hope of getting a good deal out of this is if I get catastrophically sick. Cancer, where are you now that I need you?
|All lives turn rotten in the end. I guess that's obvious, but fortunately it doesn't get really scary until you get past the age of 50. It's almost totally meaningless to anyone under 30.
Amazingly, we humans are so adaptable that we can even adapt to our own decline and decay. Now that's a blessing, as the old folks say. After observing a few of them (old folks), I see that the two skills you keep right to the end are eating and sleeping. Whew! My two favorite things. I thank the mysterious fates that control my every move that I will never lose those two abilities. Everything else is just fluff.
|This was the best way to move - very slowly. It gave me time to set up the new place in a very organized way. It boosts your spirit to move to a newer, cleaner, better place, even if it's just a physical move. Somehow your heart and soul go along for the ride.
The perfect life would be that every time you moved or made a change it was a change for the better. I feel a little guilty that some people are moving into cardboard boxes and tents while I am moving up. On the other hand, I am old and will die soon. I deserve it! Haha! If they want to trade me their youth for my apartment, then let's make a deal!
|If you read my previous blog entry then you know that apartment vacancies are up.
I noticed that an apartment complex near mine had a move-in special of the first month free, no security deposit, and a discounted rent that is cheaper than what I pay now even though it's a nicer complex and I will have free cable and a garage! Luckily my lease is about to expire so I jumped on the deal. Now all I have to do is move all my stuff. Hmmm... Uh oh! What did I do?
But I actually enjoy moving. I always do it myself with my truck. Many trips up and down stairs. It's a great way to lose weight and get in shape. And I can't do that on exercise machines because my exercise has to be meaningful. I need a good project that requires some physical exertion.
So if everything goes according to plan, in a couple of months I will be leaner, trimmer, buffer, and living in a better residence. Who could ask for more in an economic crisis?
|Here's a mystery. They say there are thousands of foreclosed homes that are sitting empty now. Yet rental rates are down and apartment vacancies are up. What happened to the people that lived in the homes?
I suppose some of them moved back with their parents. But I think a lot of them never existed as residents in the first place. I think a lot of homes were bought as investments and for a quick resale. So really the economic problem was too many homes being built - more homes than there were people to live in them. Supply and demand. Supply goes up, demand goes down, and prices fall.
|When I was a teen I read a lot of sci-fi and I still like to read it, but more selectively.
I notice the following blurb on the back of my phone bill advertising their web site:
Order money-saving bundles, high-speed internet, digital TV, handsets and more at the click of a mouse.
In the year of my birth someone reading that would have understood nothing in it except that some sort of TV was involved and apparently you could save money ordering bundles of something. "At the click of a mouse"? Good luck figuring that one out.
I'm pretty sure one of the reasons I read sci-fi as a teen was to get a peek at the future. Kids have a very strong sense of "The Future". Old people like me don't yearn for it so much. We've been through so many changes already that now we're ready for a no-change environment now. Except for our diapers, of course.
Are you living in a sci-fi world? Are you connected? And not at low speed but at high speed? Are you ready for genetic engineering? Babies made to order? New forms of entertainment that whisk your mind away to startlingly realistic virtual worlds? Psychological warfare so advanced that countries can be conquered without firing a bullet? Trips into space for a weightless vacation? Eating as much as you want with intestinal bypass surgery? (Just don't forget to empty your bypass bag.) Feel-good pills that put you in a safe, pleasant daze so that life never bugs you again?
Ah, The Future! Finally we will get those flying cars!
|I just won a fight with my bed this morning. It didn't want me to get up. And such dreams!
I don't understand my bed. When I get into it at night it doesn't feel all that comfortable. I twist and turn for awhile, settling in. Somehow I eventually fall asleep.
But by the time morning arrives my bed is the most comfortable place in the world. My body is heavy and immovable, like a big bag of sand. I'm not going anywhere. I doze off again and again. Entertaining dreams flicker through my brain. It's like the Matrix. I have to make a supreme effort to break the spell and tumble out into the Real World.
First thing I do in the Real World? Turn on my computer and scurry off into Cyberspace.
|I was watching "Two and a Half Men" on TV when it suddenly occurred to me how many of my favorite TV comedies had a main cast of three men and a woman.
"Two and a Half Men" has Charlie, Allen, Jake, and Bertha living in the house.
"Seinfeld" had Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine
"Frasier" had Frasier, Niles, Dad, and Daphne.
Three men and a woman must be a very satisfying combination. I remember the one episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine didn't appear and it seemed very flat, not at all as good as the other episodes. And "Frasier" without Daphne would have been too much of Niles and Frasier.
I'm not sure if "Two and a Half Men" needs Bertha so much, but I guess it would be a little weird if it was three guys living in a house doing their own cleaning and cooking.
That was Dapne's job, too, wasn't it? Cleaning and cooking.
Maybe the best situation is three bachelors with a live-in maid. Yeah, I can see that.
"Three Bachelors and Fifi" (Got to have a French maid )
|I see two functions of the mind - one is all that thinking and the other is our sense of self.
It's remarkable to me that we are a PERSON at every age. Even a little 3-year-old who knows nothing has a sense of self, a viewpoint. He's a distinct individual. And even a 90-year-old guy who can no longer balance his checkbook, do his taxes, or remember where he left his glasses - he still has a sense of self and a viewpoint.
The mind is like a balloon that starts out very small, gets blown up to maximum size during our 40's and 50's, and then starts shrinking back to very small if we live that long.
What about that expression: getting a swelled head? You know, if you get too much of a "sense of self" then people say: Hey, don't let your head swell up too much! - Heh heh...
And the expression: I didn't mean to pop your balloon.
Or: He felt deflated.
Or: It was quite a stretch trying to wrap my mind around these new ideas.
Or: His mind is very flexible.
So now I can see that that incident on the schoolbus where I found a condom, blew it up like a balloon, and let if float out over the heads of my classmates - that was just a symbolic expression of the mind-expanding properties of the education process.
|You know it's funny when you think about the fact your brain is an organ just like your stomach. I mean, if your stomach can get upset or bloated or cramped or gassy, then why cannot your brain malfunction in various ways? It's too much to expect everyone to be thinking perfectly all the time. It's more likely they are occasionally going to have mental hiccups, rumblings, burps, or even upchucks. Maybe a rant is like an upchuck. Maybe people like Bill O'Reilly have severe mental indigestion?
|We're being asked to choose between a give-away bail-out or a melt-down credit crunch. What difference does it make to me? I never buy anything on credit. ("Neither a borrower nor lender be...") A credit crunch would not affect me at all.
And I doubt if a bail-out will affect me either seeing as how I'm not a Wall Street fat cat.
I think I agree with the people who say, "I don't want to give money to solve the crisis to the same people who caused the crisis."
The money guys might just use the money to create a second crisis.
Those Wall Street money guys are slick. I think it's all a bluff. They forsee themselves actually losing money for the first time ever this year so they want the rest of us who don't earn 20 million dollars a year to help them out and keep them wealthy.
No thanks! Go have your melt-down, brother. Then maybe next time you will be more careful.
|I've decided to look at other people's blogs and steal things they say and put them in my blog. That way I won't have to think up stuff to say.
First, from "Invalid Item" by Kim Ashby .....
I have but one thing to say today:
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
And from "Invalid Item" by Special Kay
You know you are in for a rough day when you wake up on a damp pillow and can't clearly identify the cause of the moisture.
|Remember back when this blog made a headline out of everybody who posted here? Somehow I drifted away from that. But Summer... who's she again? pulled me back!
She's like a mosquito buzzing around my ear. Summer is a good name for her. And she's a lot more fun than a mosquito. More like a bumble bee or a lightning bug.
Her blog is "Invalid Item"
|Let's see... *doing the math* ... a page in an hour would do it. That would be 365 pages in a year, more than enough. You could even take some days off.
Isn't a page about 500 words? So all you have to do is be able to write 500 words in an hour. Which is about 8 words in a minute. Or one word every 7 seconds. No wonder there are 10 million novels out there.