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 |  My second blog. What you get are pieces of me; my humor, my memories: be welcome. |
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MY BOOK! http://www.lulu.com/davidmac73 This picture was in the header of my first blog and I wanted to bring it back. Me and my sweetie on our wedding day....it is my favorite picture. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is my second Blog on WDC. The first Blog, Random Thoughts, is finished and done and I loved almost every minute I spent doing it. This blog will be somewhat different than the first because I want to use this space for my humor and my memories. The humor may sometimes fall flat and the memories may, at times be boring, but isn't that the way it is with life. Please join me here and partake in these pieces of me and if sometimes you find the jokes unfunny or the memories dull, then please come back another day and maybe you will find something to your liking. After all, like my daddy always said: "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you." Thank you, vivacious   for this neat new logo for my blog! Yup, this about says it all, I think!** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I thought that Independence Day was the appropriate day to put this great new siggy in my blog....Thank you sultry ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please check out Scarlett's Newsletter for Bloggers: The Blogville News
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thank you, Startiara  for this lovely Siggy!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| December 31, 2006. Another year has fled down the road which I have traveled now these 57 years and today I can discern more of these mile markers behind me than before me...such is life. So now I set on the side of my particular road and rest and reflect upon the journey thus far. I have to say, my life's travels have not been without its excitement, a few thrills and some potholes along the way but all in all....not a bad trip. My particular road was, at times fairly twisting and it lead through some dark valleys but these were ultimately overshadowed by the glorious vistas that lay at my feet when I scaled a few of the summits. This past year has seen the end of one blog for me and the beginning of another. To date, my new blog has 102 entries and 6,781 views....and so it goes. The one thing I did do this past year was fall into a trap. The trap was one many of us bloggers seem to fall into from time to time; I stopped almost all my writing except for my blog. This coming year I resolve to make time to write more of my stories and to actually do something with them. That is one reason I wanted so much to make this last month of this year a "Blue" one. I wanted to do it because I know there will be much more black in here in the coming year. I am not sorry I spent so much time blogging this year for without it I would not have made so many new friends and I cherish each and every one of you. So now I will arise from my resting place, look back once, fleetingly at the old year and then set my feet to the road again. As I walk my road this next year I hope each of you will join me on my journey and share my joys and my sorrows....after all we all need company on our trip through life and I couldn't think of anyone I would rather have along than each of you....my friends. |
*knock, knock........anyone there? Would someone please nudge the StoryMaster and let him know that Dec. has 31 days in it and not 30! Check out the calendar over on the left side of this page....GEEZE! Not only does the guy stiff me on the bumper-sticker, but he messes up the calendar too!  As most anyone who has read this blog any at all already knows I am a conservative. Now as much as I really hate labels such as that, I have to admit that it fits. That is not to say that I can't be liberal in some matters....I'm sure there are some things I am liberal about...really...there has to be at least one. Having established that I am, indeed one of those nasty conservatives, it should come as no surprise to you that I am not really all broken up over the fact that the "Butcher of Baghdad" decorated the end of a rope last night or actually at dawn today in Iraq. What does amaze me is how the news media is handling this story. On every channel I turn to I find somber faced, talking heads reading from their teleprompters with tones fit for a funeral home. Everyone is bending over backwards trying to NOT to show any outward signs relief or happiness that this bloody idiot has finally met his end. It kind of reminds me of the same hypocrisy you run into at any funeral. You know what I mean, when no matter what kind of arsehole a guy was in life, nobody ever speaks ill of him at the funeral. Yup, no matter how big a SOB a man is in life, people will always bust a gut trying to find something nice to say about him at his funeral. Instead of saying, honestly: "Damn, I was beginning to think old Joe was just too mean to die. Glad we don't have to put up with him anymore". They will say: "Wow, old Joe was a real wizard with the lawn-mower wasn't he. He had the best looking lawn in town!" The thing is if you want to blame someone for poor Saddam being the guest of honor at a necktie party, you should blame his lawyers. If they were smart they would have pushed to have him tried in an American court of law. That way, after his conviction, he could have looked forward to many, many years spent in a cell with TV, access to news media to give interviews, exercise every day and three good meals. In all probability he would have lived to a ripe old age being cared and fed at taxpayer's expense. Instead he was tried in Iraq, by a jury of his own people and by their laws. After finding him guilty those savages actually went carried out the sentence.... who would have thought! My opinion....Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish! |
| As I wrote in an earlier blog, We spent Christmas Day at my Daughter's home. Now I had admonished both children NOT to buy gifts for me and Mel but as usual, both brats ignored me completely. Among the gifts my middle son brought for me was a very large BOX of books, none of which I had ever read! Well I was in Heaven with that gift for there is only one thing I enjoy as much as writing and that is reading. One of the books in this group was "The Last King" wich was an anthology of short stories by Robert E. Howard. If you enjoy short stories and you like fantasy, then you HAVE to read this man's writings. He is considered the father of Fantasy genre in America. Howard was a contempary of JRR Tolkin and a good friend of H.P. Lovecraft, both outstanding writers in the genre of fantasy. He was born in 1906 and died in 1936 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. In his short life Howard had ekked out a meger living writing for the Pulp magazines that were abundant in that time and were a great outlet for short story writers...something we need more of today. The best known of his many fictional characters has to be Conan. Don't judge the stories by the movies made so much later....the movies sucked but the stories were classic. I have always felt a certain kinship with Howard, after all he was a Texas boy. Born in Peaster, Texas in Parker County, just west of Ft. Worth. His entire career spanned barely 12 years but he wrote and published over a hundred short stories in the Pulp magazines. Anyway....if you get the chance give his stories a read. He writes in that very stately language used at the beginning of the Twentieth century and his stories read almost like poetry with the beauty and rythem of the words he used. Well, that's my plug for the week.... ONe more day and I will have a BLUE MONTH!!! Lord I didn't think I was gonna make it. |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For further explaination of above picture, please refer back to my ill-advised entry of yesterday: "Invalid Entry"  Now if you will pardon me I think I will take my now "calm-submissive-bruised" arse over to the couch and try to heal. |
| I believe I have struck upon a true gold mine! Yes indeed, if I play my cards right this just might put me on easy street. You see, I have had an epiphany of sorts. It came to me as I was watching an episode of "The Dog Whisperer" the other night. You guys know about the Dog Whisperer, Ceasar Milan don't you? This guy has made a mint by preaching his theory of "Calm-Submissiveness" with dogs. Now I have to hand it to the man, he is a wizard with all dogs. He seems to be able to take the most out of control animal and make him instantly well behaved by simply holding up one finger and saying: "Shush" very forcefully. I expect one day to actually see him make a slobbering, vicious, Pit Bull start behaving and learn to mix a decent High-Ball to boot. Well, like I said, I was sitting in the living room watching Ceasar work his magic when it struck me: WHY CAN'T HIS "CALM-SUBMISSIVE" TRAINING WORK ON WOMEN? I know, I know....brilliant isn't it. Guys, can you just imagine how peaceful your home could be if, every time your wife got out of line, all you had to do was hold up one finger and say: "SHUSH" with calm authority. According to Ceasar, all you have to do is to put a troublesome pet (or wife) on the floor and hold them there until they submit....therefor putting them in the "Calm/submisive state of mind. After that they will be more able to attend to your commands and they will follow your orders quietly.....Hey, what guy wouldn't want that? Now all I have to do is polish my technique with lots of practice on Mel. After I get the thing down to a proper science, I will be able to go on the road and give siminars all over the world, teaching other men how to have calm and submissive wives and girlfriends! I'LL BE RICH!! Okay, I need to get busy now. Mel will be home soon and I want to practice my moves. I will keep you all posted and let you know how her "training" is working out. |
| The Day After Christmas or as we in retail like to refer to it: "HO, HO, JUST SHOOT ME" has come and gone. This year the day did not run true to form. Yes, we had a small wave of Stupids which hit us at 6 a.m. but after the initial rush, the morning quietened down very nicely. It was so slow I was even beginning to worry that I might have somehow slipped through a wormhole or rip in the space-time continuim and landed in an alternate universe. I needed not have worried. About 10 a.m. They hit us in full force. It was as if all the Stupid Zombies had recieved a simultaneous signal in what passed for their brain, direct from the Mother Ship. They all converged upon our little establishment, walking, lurching, in their very best George A. Romeroisque style. We were covered up, inudated and just generally stomped upon. Ahh, thus is my life. There were quite a few misadventures today and quite a few close calls wherein certain customers barely escaped death or serious bodily harm due to my supreme control of emotions. But I think I will save those stories for another day. The thing that I did decide today was that for the first time in a long while I am going to actually make a couple of New Year's Resolutions. Rarely have I ever done that, but this year is going to be different. My first Resolution is: I am going to send off something every month in order to replenish my dwindling supply of Rejection Slips. My Second Resolution is simple: I will never again go through another Christmas season in Retail. That's it. Stick a fork in me, I'm done! The next ten months are going to be spent seriously searching for a different form of employment...ANY form of employment. I don't care if I have to hire out as a scuba diver for Roto-Rooter or a quality control officer in a bomb factory, complete with my own hammer. I figure I have really beat the odds after spending the last eight years at Wal-Mart because I have so far escaped being wanted for murder of a customer....well there was that one guy in eletronics, but hey, they never had any real proof it was me who pushed over that stack of TVs on him. So there you have it...this puppy is offically on the market. If you know of anyone who wants to hire a middle-aged veteran of the Retail wars, who has good "people skills" and will be downright thankful for the opportunity NOT to have to ever again say "Welcome to Wal-Mart", then send them my way. btw...am willing to relocate, even to another planet...I DON'T CARE! I feel so much better now, knowing I have a goal in mind for the coming year! |
| This is just a cheap effort to keep the month blue. The time is 7:47 a.m. and we are about to head out to my daughter's house in Houston to have our Christmas. I want to take this one final opportunity to wish everyone (even the SM and SMs who broke my heart ) a very merry Christmas. See you guys tomorrow!!! |
| I think I will try an experiment with the blog Peeker. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Okay, now let's go on with the blog and see if it works. Well today is Christmas Eve and I have offically survived the meat of the mad seasonal rush. There is only one thing that could have made today worse than I had planned on. If you take all the brain-dead rush of shoppers and then add to that a full day of rain then you would have a truly nightmareish day. Did I mention....IT RAINED ALL DAY TODAY! But that's okay...I survived it. I was at my door at six a.m. this morning and I got off at one p.m. and all in all...not a bad day as far as the customers go. Most of them were more or less human and not one of them gave me any trouble. Now I am home. I have Christmas music playing on the CD player and a big mug of hot chocolate sitting by my keyboard....I am in a Happy Place right now. I do have some news I want to share with you all. Yesterday Mel and I were shocked and surprised to get a package from the UK!! OMG.....HEY CC, DA QUEEN SENT ME SOME CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!! EAT YOUR HEART OUT BUCKETHEAD!! Yes, Scarlett was kind enough to send a big ole box just chock full of presents to me and Mel. I plan on getting Mel to take some pics and show them to you in her blog after Christmas, but I will tell you about them now anyway.I got me a Scottish Duck (I have named him Angus)which is all in plaid and Mel got this darling little pink duck (actually her's changes color in water) I think she named her Delilah Duck. Scarlett also included a big box of the most delicious chocolate that I have ever wrapped my lips around! Unfortunately, the box of sweets sparked a short, sharp battle between Mel and I over who got what in the box....I lost that one too! Luckily for me, Scarlett had foreseen this fight over the chocolate and she sent along a large box of band-aids with these cute little hearts on them. I am wearing many of them at this writing. Yes, this has been a good Christmas for us. Even if a certain StoryMaster and Mistress saw fit to over look my poor stocking, I still got so very much more than I ever expected. As I have shared, Scarlett sent us that wonderful group of gifts and I add to that all the great cNotes and personal notes from so very many friends here in Blogville, well I just feel like about the richest man alive. Thank you, everyone for making this one of the best Christmases in memory for me. Tomorrow we head out to my daughter's home in Houston and I look forward to a quiet day of eating and visiting with two of my five kids and their families. What more could a man as for in the way of Gifts? Merry Christmas to all of you, my friends and may you have as good a day tomorrow as Mel and I will have. |
| Yeah, yeah, I know....Tomorrow is Christmas Eve: WHOOPIE! Now that I have that out of my system, I can get down to blogging. I got questions this morning, have any of you got any answers? First thing is these dang Blog Peeker things. Have any of you noticed that the Previews you see when you run your curson over a name are getting LONGER? Hell, this morning you can read almost the entire blog in the stinking Preview. What the heck is up with that? A few lines is okay...that's a "Preview" but to show three-fourths of the blog is a bit much don't you think. Someone grab a wrench and tighten up the Preview bolt before it slips any further and shows the ENTIRE blog! Secondly: Over the past week or so I have read in many blogs, people gushing over Christmas Goodies sent to them by the StoryMaster and Mistress. Ahem....pardon me, but: WHERE THE HECK ARE MINE? It would seem that the WDC Santa has decided I been a bad boy this year and I didn't get me no WDC BUMPER STICKER!! Damn I was really wanting one of those too! To add insult to injury, EVEN THAT DANG CC GOT ONE! Yeah, that's right, they sent presents to my arch enemy, Dufus Boy and by God he wasted no time at all calling me and bragging about it too!  Well now I come to my last question: WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH WOMEN? Yeah, I know, I have asked this one many times in my blog but damnit, you just haven't answered the question yet! See, here's the thing....I finally found a Christmas song I really like and Mel gets all ticked off over it. I was sitting in my easy chair the other night, having my nighttime snack of a peanut butter sammich and a glass of pepsi and watching TV...just enjoying the moment and minding my own business. Mel was at the computer surfing and stuff. The TV was on and I was surfing with the remote when I ran across this channel where a commercial was playing. Hiedi Clum, dressed in this little "Santa" Teddy was singing "Santa Baby" in her deep, sexy voice..... BAM! Next thing I know Mel has bopped me upside the head! What's up with that? She said it wasn't bad enough I was sitting there watching that half-dressed hussy try to sing but did I have to be so goofy about it? It seems that I had been in mid-bite with my sammich when I saw the commercial and I had actually missed my mouth and jammed the sammich into my chin. So when she looked around there I sat...sammich against my chin, hand raised with pepsi suspended in front of me and chewing away! HEY, CAN I HELP IT IF I LOVED THE MUSIC.....I GOT LOST IN THE MOMENT! So now I am catching all these snide little remarks from her about how she's gonna buy one of those outfits and sing that song for me, see how I like THAT! GAWD! Women! Okay, there's the questions...I would love any help you can give me answering them. Now I gotta get off here and go surf the channels again and see if I can find that dang commercial...VA..VA...VOOOOOM! |
| I did it! I made it through almost the entire Christmas season without visiting physical damage upon a customer. I am off work today and tomorrow then I go back to work Christmas Eve and all I have to do is make it through THAT day and I will have crossed the finish line one more year! Store management has been very helpful this year in trying to help me reach my goal of a non-violent Christmas, they have instructed their sales clerks in Sporting Goods that under no circumstances are they to sell me a large hunting knife or ammo. Have I got a thoughtful manager or what! Now I need to tie up some loose ends before Christmas lands with a resounding crash upon us. First of all I would like to thank all of my dear friends out there who went to the time and effort to send me those delightful and beautiful cNotes for Christmas. Each one of them lifted my spirits and made me smile...thank you all so very much. I also want to congratulate Budroe on being named Blogger of the Month in the Blogville News. I can not think of a more deserving winner of that award. While I'm at it I also want to throw some Kudos to Scarlett for putting out what has to be the very best issue yet of that Newsletter. If any of you have not yet seen the new issue, then go here:"Invalid Entry" and read it. Be sure and let Scarlett know what you think of it and also drop Bud a line and congratulate him on winning Blogger of the Month.So here we are almost to Christmas and Blogville is a very quiet place. Nada and hubby are sailing the Seven Seas on their holiday adventure, zwisis is winging her way home to Africa. PlannerDan is off chasing ducks around the pond with Max and ccstring is.....WHERE THE HECK IS CC? Maybe he got all those job promotions and stuffage and now he is just too busy to come in here. Ya know it's just not Christmas if I don't have my little buddy to kick around. "HEY DUFUS, A PHONE CALL TOO MUCH TO ASK???" So as you can see, Christmas is quite around Blogville and I guess that is how it should be. Folks are reconnecting with family and enjoying the season. I kind of like that, really though I won't admit it anywhere but here. As for myself, well I am getting ready to cross that finish line and live through another holliday season. Christmas day will find Mel and I traveling to my daughter's home and spending the day with her and her family and my middle son, they both live in Houston. I plan on commandeering the most comfortable chair in the house and shoveling food into my pie-hole until I reach the bursting point. I will then nap like a grizzily in hibernation for a couple of hours before heading back home. I have a major rant building but I think I will save it for the new year....nothing like starting the new year by pissing people off! Oh yeah, I said I was off today....well I am about to get busy. Mel had to work today so I am going to surprise her by cleaning the house while she is gone. I figure that is one Christmas present she would never in a million years expect! |
How many of you remember these words: "Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote The droghte of March hath perced to the roote And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Of which vertu engendered is the flour." As most of you probably know, this was the opening of the Prologue to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Geoffrey Chaucer wrote The Canterbury Tales, a collection of stories in a frame story, between 1387 and 1400. It is the story of a group of thirty people who travel as pilgrims to Canterbury (England). The pilgrims, who come from all layers of society, tell stories to each other to kill time while they travel to Canterbury. If we trust the General Prologue, Chaucer intended that each pilgrim should tell two tales on the way to Canterbury and two tales on the way back. He never finished his enormous project and even the completed tales were not finally revised. Scholars are uncertain about the order of the tales. As the printing press had yet to be invented when Chaucer wrote his works, The Canterbury Tales has been passed down in several handwritten manuscripts. This, my friends is what writing is all about. Six hundred and nineteen years ago Chaucer wrote a group of what could be called a group of short stories and today we are still reading them! What writer among us has not dreamed of this kind of success? Can you image that words you write today will one day be required reading for High School children six centuries later. A little known fact about Chaucer: King Edward the third granted him the award of a gallon of wine a day for the rest of his life. Though it is not known the exact work which won him this award, it is believed it was one of his early poems. Now that's what I call a decent paycheck for your writing! Chaucer is often referred to as "The Father of English Literature" and was the first to use English rather than French or Latin which was the normally used language of writers of the day. For me though the fact that his work has lasted over six hundred years is the most amazing feat of all. All of us dream of future generations one day reading our work and who knows...maybe we have a future "Chaucer" right here in WDC. It could well be that some day in the distant future school children may well be studying the work of some man or woman who toils on this site every day. As writers I think we all need to hold onto that dream...who knows, it could happen. |
| I am so tired my mind feels like a bowl of jello. Five more days until Christmas and the "crush" has well and truly begun. Shoppers are massing in the hundreds in our parking lot each day and they attack in waves of arvice, greed and an overall attitude that would make the Grinch proud. I have described the retail world, during this time of year as doing battle with Galactic commandos from the planet Stupid and when we get down to the final week of the season it is always painfully evident that we are losing the battle. Yes, Planet Stupid is winning. Each day I see my fellow warriors staggering back to the aid-station-we call it the break room-to rest their frayed nerves and tired bodies before limping back to the front lines. Each day the break room becomes quieter and quieter as we slowly run out of even enegry to carry on conversations among ourselves. For instance today I witnessed two clerks forgoing their MacDonald's burgers and fries to just lay their heads on the table and nap for an hour. I managed to steal their fries. You snooze, you lose! As for myself, well let me give you an example of how my day goes....Today as a customer was leaving I said to her: "Have a good Christmas!" She stopped and said: "Don't you mean 'Have a MERRY Christmas?" "No Lady," I answered her calmly. "I work at Wal-Mart so 'MERRY' ain't in my vocabulary. Most I can ask for is 'GOOD'!" She laughed. "I see your point!" So to all of you who have, so far, survived the hollidays I wish you a GOOD CHRISTMAS. Merry is overrated. |
| I present for your consideration today something that I recieved in my email. For those of you who, like me, are veterans of the child rearing wars, I think you will be able to relate. ********************** A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home ******************** I have to admit that had Chad been my son it might have been quite some time before it was safe for him to return home! I couldn't help it though....I laughed my butt off after I read the whole thing....smart arsed kid! |
| As runningwolf04 so kindly reminded me, yesterday, I have just celebrated my second anniversary here at WDC. Yes, Dec. 17, 2004 was the day I started my portfolio here in this magical place...in some ways it seems like just yesterday and in other ways it seems like I have been here forever. Today I decided to take a close look at my portfolio. What have I accomplished in two years at this writing site? Well, I have 26 short stories. Short stories use to be the thing I loved to do the most. To create the characters and build the scenerio from start to finish all within the confines of a few thousand words has always been a challenge which I delighted in taking up. I also have put one complete novel in my port. This particular piece is the oldest piece of writing in my port. The original draft of the story was done back in '91 but thanks to the wonderful efforts of a few great reviewers, the novel has undergone some very in-depth changes during rewrites. Of course I have one complete Blog (500 entries) and one blog in progress. I also have about 15 or so essays. What is funny is that before I started to blog, I never cared that much about writing essays. Now, it seems that is the easiest thing for me to do. The blog has opened this door for me, I think. Oh and I have four very poor excuses for poetry in the portfolio also. Never, will I ever be confused with a real poet! I have to say though, I did enjoy TRYING to write that genre, even if I sucked at it! There are also about a ton of photographs in the port. These are not meant to be an art form like some professionals have. No, these are just family photos, a way for people who come in there to get to know me a little better. It's funny but I had not gone poking about in my own portfolio in awhle and I was kind of surprised and in some ways pleased by what I found. I discovered that I do need to pick up the short story writing but I also found that the essays are taking up some of the slack...not a bad trade-off. What made me the happiest as I looked over the port is that I was able to see real growth in myself as a writer and after all, that is what I came to this site for in the first place. This growth is mostly due to some really wonderful people who have given my work some very complete and critical reviews which has helped me make each of my stories better. They have taught me many things about writing which I was ignorant of. That is what I came here for. You see I am a writer wannabe. I WANT TO BE a writer, a good writer. Whether I ever sell anything or not, You folks here have already helped me to improve and move just a little closer to that goal...to be a writer. Thank you for two years of growth and learning, from this wannabe writer to all of you. I look forward to many more years to come. |
| Off subject: I would like to take this opportunity to give a big THANK YOU to susanL for the merit badge for parenting (yes, I survived that!). I would also like to give a very special thank you to runningwolf04 for giving me a "Congratulations" merit badge. I can't believe I had forgotten that this was my second anniversary here at WDC but this nice lady noticed it and gave me the merit badge...thus jogging this old memory...THANK YOU LADY! ***************** There are some things in this life I just don't "get". There are things that just make me shake my head in both wonder and confusion. Maybe it is because of how I was raised, maybe it is because of the sum total of my personal experiences and maybe it's just because I am older than dirt and find it difficult to follow a new way of thinking or a new set of values. I will try to delve into one of the things today that make me scratch my head in frustration. WOMEN Okay, me and every other man who ever lived find the opposite sex hard to fathom at one time or another so this one is easy. Today it was up in the low 80's in my little part of Texas and I swear it was like every woman under the age of 70 decided to see how little they could wear to cover their collective chests. I mean, good Lord it was like "TITS ON PARADE" in the store all day long. They came prancing in wearing various T-shirts and halter-tops, most with no visible means of support evident. I saw all sizes from pears to apples to cantaloupes. Hell I even saw one set, swinging free of any kind of bondage except for very thin shirt material, that was more like Bashful Watermelons. I say "bashful" because it looked as if they were trying to hide in the lady's armpits. Well at my lunch break I decided to try a little impromptu survey of the break room to see what our female workers thought of all this free showing of mammary glands. I simply asked: "What do you ladies think of all these women in the store wearing next to nothing and showing off their boobs?" You would have thought I had just asked them something horrible. "Yeah, that's just like a guy...always looking at women's boobs!" "Can't a woman dress like she wants too without having men leer at them?" That's just a couple of remarks I got. Now this attitude just leaves me scratching my head. Why is it that women will make the decision to wear these outfits, leave the house and head for a very public place and then act surprised and insulted when some guy actually looks at what the women are showing the world. Come on ladies that is what men do....YOU SHOW THEM SOMETHNG, THEY LOOK! Am I the only one honest enough to admit that Yes, men are genetically hot-wired to look at skimpily dressed females? I guarantee you these women who came to the store dressed in this manner today KNEW they would get looks and they EXPECTED IT. So why get upset when something happens that you fully EXPECTED to happen. Ladies if you don't want men to stare at your boobs then for God's sake cover em up! Wear a damn Bra! But if you decided not to do any of that then don't gripe about the looks you get. This is basically what I told the ladies in the break room. A note of interest here: There were four other guys in the break room at the time and I heard chants of: "YOU GO BOY! THAT'S RIGHT, TELL IT LIKE IT IS!" LOL! As I left I could hear each one of them catching heck from the ladies too. Serves them right for listening to me anyway. |
| Today is Saturday and I am off work...big deal! The thing is, Mel is also off today and you know what that means? It means I have one chair in my whole house. One chair and no bed....yup, that's the story of my Saturdays. Its not like the furniture elves steal into my home each Friday night and hide chairs and stuff, nope it is something much less exotic. You see, on Saturdays the animal population of Casa McClain KNOW that mama is home and mean old daddy won't be chasing them off their favorite lounging spots except for one.....The office chair at my desk is still off limits to any and all fur bearing creatures. As is my habit on Saturdays, I arose early, fixed my coffee and made my way to my desk to begin catching up on blogs. Now all the animals are use to this routine and each of them made sure they were in their accoustomed places....LIKE THE FLOOR! I got my coffee and sit down at my desk and began to read blogs. After about thirty minutes, Mel joined me in the living room and I could feel the confidence level of the animal soar when she walked into the room. "MAMA'S HOME!" I could almost hear the silent cheer of their combined rejoicing. Sure enough, once Mel was up, all the animals migrated from the floor onto different chairs and made themselves comfortable. I growled under my breath...they ignored me...Mama's home! I tried to put this mutinous behavior out of my mind and went back to reading. Mel fixed breakfast and I ate my pancakes and sausage, all the while trying to ignore the taunts of the over confident animals. After awhile Mel makes her way back to the bedroom to watch TV in bed (her favorite off day pasttime) and left me to my reading. After about an hour more of catching up I decided to take my coffee and join my sweetie in bed and have some "quality" time..hehehe. As I made my way down the hallway I noticed that the two dogs were nowhere to be seen but I thought little of it, I just thought that she had put them outside for awhile. I opened the door to the bedroom and was greeted with the sight of Mel, snuggled up under the covers with Sherman curled up against her on the left and Mollie snoozing peacefully on her right: ON MY SIDE OF THE BED!with her dang head on MY PILLOW! Yeah, the mutiny is complete. They have usurped my spot on MY bed! Mollie looked up at me as I opened the door as if to say: "Too late, big boy, you loose!" I just shook my head sadly and retreated back out the door...I could have swore I heard Sherman and Mollie chuckling at my plight. I walked back into the living room and was not surprised to see that word of my defeat had spread to the rest of the motely crew. One cat was in the spare recliner, sprawled out asleep, two more were on the couch sound asleep and Little Shit was curled up comfortably on MY easy chair. She gave me this look as if to say: "Don't even think of disturbing me!" That left me my only refuge in the entire house...my office chair at my desk. So here I sit at the equivalent of my own Fortress of Solitude, surrounded by rebellious, furry, four-footed insurgents. I can see right now that it's gonna be a long day! As usual, it's all Mel's fault. Not only is she the leader of the rebellous animals, she is their protector and they know that as long as she is here they have nothing to fear from me. My retaliation shall be swift and terrible. Unfortunately it will have to wait until Monday after I get home from work....WHEN MEL IS GONE TO WORK! MUHAHAAAA! |
| Have you ever witnessed behavior in animals which closely mirrored that of humans? Sometimes it can be so dang funny you just have to stop what you are doing and laugh at them. Last night was one such occasion. Now all of you who read my blog much have heard me talk about Sherman, my Lab/Bloodhound mix and you already know what a Goober dog he is. Let's face it, Sherman is not the brightest bulb in the package. No, he is just a big ole, lovable, easy going hound dog. Mel swears he takes a lot after his master and who am I to disagree. Well if Sherman has one nemisis in life it has to be Little Shit, our calico cat. She rules the roost around here and she never misses an opportunity to set poor Sherman straight. This cat just dearly loves to torment poor Sherman. She will lay on the arm of the couch and when Sherman comes ambling by, minding his own business, she will calmly reach out and swat him on the arse as he passes her. Sherman will wheel around in total surprise when this happens only to be swatted AGAIN right on his tender nose. Now you would think that a hundred pound dog could take care of himself, but noooo, not Sherman. The dog really is what we would call "whipped". I have seen Little Shit (Hey, that really is her name) chase Sherman all over the house and he won't fight back. He is scared to death of her. So now you get the picture, right? Big, dumb, dog tormented by evil female cat. Well last night Sherman was again...Minding his own business. He was standing behind my chair watching me type on the computer when suddenly Little Shit came walking up to him and started to rub herself against his legs and purr! It was really made more comical because Sherman has such an expressive face for a dog. I watched as he stood very still and stiff...you could see panic in his eyes. He looked down at the cat who was busy rubbing and purring against his legs. He cocked his head sideways in perplexion and you could just see his little brain trying to wrap around this totally new behavor exibited by his one time enemy. Finally it was if he had worked it all out in his head and had decided: "Well ain't that nice, she wants to be my friend!" and then he lowered his head down to her and tried to muzzle her gently....Just to show his new friend he liked her too. BAM! She reached up and hit him with a mean right-cross with her claws that sent him reeling backward in panic! Totally confused and frightened, Sherman dove under my desk and cowered there between my feet until the very self-satisfied cat walked slowly out of the room...her mission accomplished. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at poor Sherman. What was so funny about it was how like some of the interaction between male and female humans that whole scene was. I mean here was this female who never missed a chance to torment some poor dumb male. She always had a sharp claw for him and was not shy about using it. Then, out of nowhere she is nice to the big dummy. Of course he don't know what to think and being the dumb male that he is, he lowers his guard for just a moment AND THAT'S WHEN SHE NAILS HIM AGAIN!!! I could almost hear her say: "Just because I was nice to you, don't you dare think nothings changed, big boy. I'm still the boss!" This reminds me so much of the whole Mars/Venus thing. After a life time of observing the interaction between the sexs I can not believe there are still fools out there who believe that the female is the weaker sex or that the male of the species runs ANYTHING! We are all just like poor Sherman: Big, Dumb and constantly proven so by some female....ain't life grand! |
| Well another week behind me, oh that is such a lovely feeling. The next two days I am off and free of the Wal-Mart madness, I am so happy I am giddy! As you can see, the strike is over. Happily ole Party folded like a cheap tent and did a blog today so I don't even have to suffer a "black" day. So here I am, after a week of battling Galactic Commandos from the planet Stupid and I am wondering what to blog about. After all, I figured I would be forced to sit out at least a couple of days due to partyof5dj's stubborness....who knew he would cave in like an old mine. Oh I do have something to share with you. Today an old friend came into the store. I had not seen Randy since highschool and we had a great time catching up on each other's life since those good old days. Now Randy is a year younger than me and he has an older brother, James, who is my age. I have known Randy and James since my very first day at school back in the dark ages when we used stone tablets. The two brothers were part of a large group of guys who hung out together from first grade, right through sixth grade. There were eight or nine of us who always played together on the school yard during recess and, except for James, we all had some wonderful memories from that time. You see, even as a small child, James was one of those people who loved to complain. He was never happy, something was always bothering him. He was one of those kids who got his feelings hurt at the drop of a hat and he was always griping that everyone had it in for him. He always thought that nobody liked him and no matter what we tried to do to change his mind, he would not be dissuaded. It was always James that started arguments. He constantly stirred the pot and when some one actually did complain about his actions, he would promptly threaten to "pick up his toys and go home." Of course he never did. No, he always hung about...complaining and grousing. I think if we didn't like Randy so much one of us would have done something a little more phyical to James. So because of Randy, we just ignored James' bitter, pessimestic manner and his constant complaining. Anyway, today I asked Randy how James was doing and it was no real surprise to me when he said that James was still James. He had not changed one bit. He told me that James had gone from a bitter, vendictive kid to a bitter, vindictive adult. His life had not been an easy one since growing up, his brother confided and he had gone from one bad relationship to another one. The sad thing was, Randy told me, that James never took any responsibility for anything bad that had happened in his life....it was all someone else's fault. Randy said that to hear his brother tell his story you would believe that he was the only faultless man left on earth. It truly saddened me to hear this about James. I was hoping that with age would come some kind of change in his personality but none had come. Randy told me that James was now living somewhere on the East Coast, he wasn't even sure where anymore as James had cut off all ties with his family for either real of imagined slights they had given him over the years. He is now a lonely, bitter, middle-aged man with no real prospects or anyone close to him....how sad is that. Well at any rate it was nice to catch up with Randy who, I discovered, was only down for a couple of days visiting his daughter who still lives in the area. He promised to call me and get together for coffee sometime tomorrow and I am looking forward to that. Still, the news about James was a downer. I really had hoped that he had found some measure of peace and happiness with age. I still wish that he could find some measure of happiness in the years he has left but I won't hold my breath. Okay, before I end this thing, I want you all to go over to Party's blog and harass him some. Make him pay for leaving us in the lurch for almost a week...da bum! |
| This blog is on STRIKE! That's right boys and girls, Pieces of Me is gonna go on strike until a certain Montana goober who shall remain nameless but whose initals are: partyof5dj, comes back in here and makes a blog entry. Look I tried being understanding, after all his football team got beat like a drum and I know he is probably in mourning and all but dayum, it's time to saddle the horse and ride again! So this is it! I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Party, you goober, you better get back in here and blog cause if this strike lasts over a day or two I will probably explode....do you want to carry that blame? Okay, so I play dirty....sue me! |
| I have a dream and I think many of us who are members of WDC share the same dream in one form or another. My own personal dream is simple really....I dream of being "Discovered". In those secret moments, just before my eyes close in sleep or maybe while I am standing at the door, at work I have my dream. It usually runs along the same course each time I have it. My dream revolves around some unknown editor of a medium sized newspaper or maybe a magazine stumbling into WDC and finding my port. As he/she reads my many different items and checks out my blog they decide that this is just the guy they need to write a weekly column for them. They would then contact me and ask if I would be interested in doing the job. Unfortunately, they would say, we can't pay you any more money than you make now but you would be getting your writing out to thousands of people. At that point in the dream I usually fall down on the ground and kiss their feet and swear undying loyality. I also offer to shoot any enemy they might have or just someone who annoys them. Fade to black....Live happily ever after. Yeah, we all dream of that. Maybe not exactly the same as the above, but something similar. Do you think it funny that I never dream of being rich and famous due to my writing? Well that's just me. I have never wanted to be rich and famous...I just want to write for a living. Oh how wonderful it would be, even to be paid just what I make now, to do it at home sitting at the computer and writing. Then in eight years I can retire and collect my social security and tell the world to kiss my butt! I say "retire". What I really will do is spend all my time on my books. Can you image what that would be like...to spend my days writing and not worry and feel guilty for not working and bringing in a paycheck! I don't care if I have to eat dog food...that would be heaven. Hey, who knows, it could happen....well maybe I do have more of a chance winning the lottery than being discovered, but you just never know. In the meantime I will continue to buy a lottery ticket each week...nothing like sound financial planning. |
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I will give you till Tuesday, my official check in day. LOL