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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1381782-Notable-quotables/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/5
Rated: ASR · Book · Comedy · #1381782
Quotes from a small (and not so small) Monkey
From a very young age, Monkey has amused us with the things that he comes up with.  This blog was begun when he was quite small, and I have been adding to it (less so lately) for over seven years.

He has always had a precocious way with words, and a genuinely brilliant sense of comic timing. One of his first nicknames was Monkey, and the name stuck because it is so true. He's impish, funny, silly, and occasionally swings from a tree or monkey bars.

The first byline of this blog was "my son will someday be a writer." As predicted, he has become quite a talented young writer.

I hope you enjoy his antics as much as I have!
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 ... Next
March 16, 2008 at 11:13am
March 16, 2008 at 11:13am
#573902
Jakie is helping Bob with a project in the bathroom.

Bob: Are you mad at me because I told you you can't play with the scissors? You can't be my subcontractor if you don't listen.

Jakie: I'm not working with you anymore.

Me: Wait a minute, did you give your two weeks notice?

Bob: That means you forfeit any bonuses.

Jakie: *giggles* That makes me happy.

And, Bob's having a problem with something.
Jakie: Oh shoot! This is a bummer!

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
March 12, 2008 at 7:04pm
March 12, 2008 at 7:04pm
#573282
Jakie just told us a joke, at the dinner table . . .

Q: What do you call a rug with two legs, and can walk?

A: Lemonade!

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
March 11, 2008 at 2:35pm
March 11, 2008 at 2:35pm
#573005
Jakie: We're ALMOST out of air conditioner!
Me: We are?
Jakie: Yeah, we're not gonna be able to do the dishes unless we get more. We have to get some today, but you're too tired. That's too bad.

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
March 11, 2008 at 8:38am
March 11, 2008 at 8:38am
#572946
I was scratching Jakie's back, and he said *Worry*No, you're scratching my . . . ooooh, you're scratching my back!*Delight*

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
March 10, 2008 at 5:17pm
March 10, 2008 at 5:17pm
#572823
When I look at my T Rexes, they're drinking tea.

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
March 10, 2008 at 5:01pm
March 10, 2008 at 5:01pm
#572820
The "g" helps the "j" say its name.

Then he was telling Sophie (9) how to spell a word . . . *Laugh* .

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
March 4, 2008 at 2:56pm
March 4, 2008 at 2:56pm
#571523
Hiding under the open sofabed . . .

Bleah . . . did I toot?

*Worry* I dunno, kiddo . . . you'd probably know better than I would . . . *Laugh*

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
March 3, 2008 at 5:16pm
March 3, 2008 at 5:16pm
#571319
Absolutely randomly, out of the blue, Jakie yelled out, in a very gruff voice . .

I am the Walrus!

Goo goo g'joob? *Laugh*

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 19, 2008 at 3:18pm
February 19, 2008 at 3:18pm
#568688
I'm the funniest real monkey you ever saw in the whole wide universe.

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 19, 2008 at 9:56am
February 19, 2008 at 9:56am
#568629
Jakie just asked me if he could have 2 different kinds of crackers, mixed together. I took 3 out of the first package, and put them in the bowl. Then as I was reaching for the second package, he said I'm gonna have like . . . 6 crackers.

*Shock*

Way to multiply by 2, little dude!

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 18, 2008 at 7:49pm
February 18, 2008 at 7:49pm
#568503
First, a short commentary IMed to me by Daren:

Jakie was eating, and I was mashing sweet potatos for sweet potato risotto. Jakie asked me what I was making, and I told him I was mashing sweet potatos. He said, "I don't like sweet potatos. I've never had sweet potatos, but I don't like them, not at all!" I asked him, if he's never had sweet potatos, how he could know whether or not he liked them. He said, "I don't like them cause I think they'd make me wiggle."

And second, just this evening . . .

My hair is tired.

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
February 17, 2008 at 11:14pm
February 17, 2008 at 11:14pm
#568336
Ok, I wasn't going to post this one, but Seshie convinced me to. My concern was that people might not appreciate the subject matter, but I decided to go for it . . .

Our morning routine for quite a while was that Bob would get Jakie up, and bring him into the bedroom to nurse in bed. So Jakie was about 2 . . . one morning he had finished nursing on one side, so I leaned forward for him to nurse on the other side. I had my arm up over my head, so Jakie latched off, pointed to my armpit, and said "dirty . . . little bit dirty in there."

Yeah, thanks kiddo . . . I know I need to shave. *Pthb*

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
February 13, 2008 at 7:01pm
February 13, 2008 at 7:01pm
#567458
Jakie walks up to me, pushes my nose, and says Ding Dong!

Now he's running around saying I was in the middle of beeping Mommy's nose over and over, waiting for me to tickle him!

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 13, 2008 at 9:04am
February 13, 2008 at 9:04am
#567292
To Sophie, who is ill, but doesn't want to go to the doctor:

You HAVE to go to the doctor, Soph. You HAVE to listen to her.

Think it worked?

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
February 12, 2008 at 3:46pm
February 12, 2008 at 3:46pm
#567153
I actually have a few quotes, here . . .

He hasn't been watching it, has never seen it. He just walked in the room towards the end of the film.

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt!" when the dissipated smoke that is Voldemort's "spirit" flies through Harry after leaving Professor Quirrel's body.

Then . . . "they destroyed the stone!"

And, a non-Jakie quote!

The first time we watched the film at home, Sophie was no more than 3. We weren't sure how she'd react . . . and mostly she didn't. But when the Quidditch match scene came on she said "this is a weird movie!"

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 10, 2008 at 6:14pm
February 10, 2008 at 6:14pm
#566695
there's a monkey! *Laugh*

Daren and I were talking about the Campfire Creative that I'm working on, for
 Tourn-a-Rounds  (ASR)
Round 5 winners posted!
#1246258 by Robert Waltz
and Jakie said

I hate a campfire . . . and a moment later . . . just kidding.

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 4, 2008 at 7:57am
February 4, 2008 at 7:57am
#565439
Jakie: Can you play what size is your monkey?
Me: What size is my monkey? *Holds hands up about Jakie height* About this big.
Jakie: No, I mean not a REAL monkey!

I told you all he was a real monkey! *Laugh*

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!


February 4, 2008 at 7:50am
February 4, 2008 at 7:50am
#565437
While eating his breakfast, this morning. Jakie's in the kitchen, dareng and I are in the dining room.

I bet your friend (meaning Daren) never TRIED Cheerios.

Won in Daren's B-Day Birthday Extravaganza!
February 2, 2008 at 4:38pm
February 2, 2008 at 4:38pm
#565102
Jakie: Somebody needs to make a grocery list!
Me: Oh yeah? (having just come home from the grocery store)
Jakie: Yeah, because we only have one more graham cracker in the package.

*gasp* *runs around in circles* What will we do, what will we do!? *Laugh*

THIS is why I go to the grocery store nearly every day. *Rolleyes*

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **
January 29, 2008 at 10:33am
January 29, 2008 at 10:33am
#564102
To Daddy: Actually, Dad, all of my dinosaur friends are TRIassic.

Is this discrimination?

** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable **

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1381782-Notable-quotables/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/5