A third attempt at this blogging business.
30-DAY BLOG CHALLENGE WINNER FOR SEPTEMBER 2011 AND APRIL 2012!!
BLOGGING CIRCLE OF FRIENDS "BLOGGER OF THE WEEK"
MAY, SEPTEMBER, AND NOVEMBER 2013
JANUARY, FEBRUARY, AND JUNE 2014
After 380 entries and over 17,600 views, it was time to retire "Who Do I Think I Am??" . Expect more of the same shenanigans and troublemaking you've come to know and love from me over the last few years. Tell all your friends, warn your family and hide this from your neighbors...this isn't your average blog.
Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!
THIS BLOG IS NOW CLOSED.
Continue along on my journey over at "Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am" .
|30DBC PROMPT: "If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur! What are you getting? Be humorous; show me your comical side!"
Awww yeah! You know I love me some #FunnyFriday #30DBC prompts...even if it's funny only to me. I won't let you steal the joy that's come through the nearly 39 years of my existence! I worked hard for it, and I'm gonna relive it whether you like it or not. Can't bring me down on this day your higher power made for me.
First, lemme tell you I'm not getting a dinosaur. Regardless of the fact I just changed my Facebook profile picture to one, it was because that's the image Google Chrome gives you when you're suddenly no longer connected to the internet, and I've been having some crazy outages lately. I have no desire to own, train, and take care of a destructive creature, no matter how many times cartoons try to romanticize it and make it look palatable. Besides, my landlord frowns on owning pets anyway.
I guess if I had a one-way ticket in a time machine, I'd head over to the Prohibition Era and take advantage of the speakeasies . There's something thrilling about being a badass in a time where the world was so uptight and full of itself, and knowing there were places that existed where one could be free to say his peace and get his drink on without the fear of government retribution or rebuke sounds charming in stuffier, simpler times.
Back in Buffalo, during the late nineties and early aughts when NY passed the law banning smoking in bars, there was a new type of speakeasy popping up in some neighborhoods. Bars that fought against the ruling closed up their front doors and made access available only to certain individuals who likely knew the owners and to those who weren't in law enforcement. They'd serve up the booze and let you smoke within the establishment, which is a big deal for patrons during a harsh Buffalo winter. (And please, don't turn this into an anti-smoking crusade...I'm an adult, I know the dangers, and the vice itself is more important right now than the potential life-threatening hazards. Thank you. I don't come into your home and tell you your farm-factory store-bought eggs, chicken and fish are diseased and just as dangerous, so respect me all the same.)
But I'm thinking further into the nostalgia of lore, where ringing the back doorbell meant something more. Doing the illegal. Getting your ends through the means of straight-up gangsters (and not studio self-proclaimed "gangstas"). At least smokes have always been available in stores regardless of the limitations on where you can partake; send me headlong into a seedy underworld where we can get shitfaced and rail against the government among similar-minded strangers-turned-allies doing what we enjoy, consequences be damned. Like I said, simpler times; daring and damning The Man without repercussions.
If things were easy, everyone would do it. Challenge me and I'll take the hardest way around your obstacle, just to prove it can be done...and while I'll bitch and moan about the undue stress it has put upon me, y'all know I'll survive the outcomes. Because fuck it, I do what I want. Your imposed chaos isn't my problem...if anything, I end up making more problems for you because I have needs that long satisfaction just like everyone else, and I need to see them fulfilled in order to sustain my happiness. Legalizing the ownership of dinosaurs falls into the category of "Why not?"...and then I'd be walking down the sidewalk trying not to step in dinosaur shit because we haven't yet legislated people into cleaning up after them like they should from taking their dogs out. See the problem here?
Sorry if this isn't funny...but it's true that it's how I feel, so get your "funny" from it however you choose to.
BCF PROMPT: "What is your favorite restaurant?"
CJ Reddick , my boy...haven't we been over this before? I'm heading back to WNY next weekend, and I'm damn sure gonna try to get some Mighty Taco in my belly. I do believe that if you say "Taco Bell" to a Western New Yorker, you'll get your ass kicked. There is no comparison, and no other "local" place I've been to that specializes in Mexican offerings of the fast-food variety can do what Mighty does.
Y'all can take your Chipotle, Salsarita's, and Moe's, and shove 'em up your colon-blown ever-lovin'. There is no frontin' on the beauty and prestige Mighty Taco owns over the WNY community...as simple as it is, it's complex-tasting and hella different than the corporate quote-unquote choices. I need Mighty in my life more than ever, since I don't live near one anymore and can't just drive down the road to get some.
One Super Mighty, hot with sour cream, and a Nachos Deluxe hot with sour cream, with a medium Cherry Coke. That's a goddamned adventure of palate-pleasing food stuffs right there! You don't play around with the formula for successful eating.
Sure, I could've mentioned my other favorite joint, Ted's , but y'all can grill a hot dog anytime you want. Especially if it's a Sahlen's , which blows away all the cheap-ass Oscar Mayer-style hot dogs you can get anywhere for a low price. You get what you pay for, and a Sahlen's is far and away the best dog to barbecue. My respected bloggeratzi ally emeritus Julie D - PUBLISHED! has debated me vociferously on the subject of hot dogs, but my word is Ted's does 'em about as good as you'd do them at home...eschew the store-brand stuff though. Get a real butcher's homemade joints, if you can.
But yo, Mighty is where it's at. I haven't been to one in a few years, and I'm dying for the taste. Gotta respect the locals and spread the love around, just in case someone wants to take your word for it on the rare chance they may find yourself in your hometown.
I can't believe I'm doing this. Say hello to the fad you can't get away from . You tried, and I'm here to bring back the embarrassing everything that went along with it.
"If there was a problem yo I'll solve it."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
Because we're gonna uh, double up uh uh on the "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" prompts again, no frontin' allowed on how I go about it. Being respectful and respectable is a must, as always.
"Do you think stress undermines empathetic abilities? Is it different for men than women?"
*badhaircutallupinyourfaceemoticon* "What completely silly fad have you fallen victim to?"
Y'all people...diggin' at my voids and scars and I let you, let alone encourage it.
I'll say this though...I don't care if you're a man or a woman. Stress compromises our ability to give a shit about everyone else's problems. Don't matter what sex you or I are when complaining, and it definitely doesn't matter when we're on the receiving end of your bitching. We all catch people at different times in their lives...I feel like this is a point I've been driving home lately but under different contexts. It's human nature to want to vent.
And it only depends on circumstance. Although there may be different reasons, men and women get pulled askew equally. I can't blare the trumpet for the stay-at-home mom when the dad is strugglin' with some other jerk in his workplace...that ain't right.
We all want some care, whether we know it or not. Someone who appreciates, heals our wounds, tells us we'll be ok, or puts us in our goddamned place. And maybe there's a tiny person inside of us who wants to do well by others, but isn't able to because of circumstances. Sick, poor, needing to look out for self first because no one else will; many people want to contribute somehow to society, but don't know how and can't bring themselves to do so.
I forgot entirely where this rant was heading...stupid anxiety naps happen. But yes, stress does compromise anyone's ability to feel empathy toward others. You can't help what you can't see...when you're blinded by your own reality it's hard to make a difference for others.
And I'll gladly change the topic now.
Like too many early nineties kids, I fell into the Vanilla Ice trap. All style, no substance. Getting as hardcore as a stupid little white kid could while wanting to bust out crazy dance routines in garages and driveways; that's what I wanted to be. I suppose it's good that I was never much of a dancer. Or lacked style.
I had the designer-impostor version of some of the clothes though, and random haircuts with blonde streaks (we covered that yesterday). I even had a few lines nicked in my eyebrows for good measure. And now I'm glad the nineties are long over with.
If there's one positive that came out of all the anti-Vanilla Ice backlash though, it might have to be Pop Goes The Weasel . 3rd Bass...the greatest bunch of NY rappers not named the Beastie Boys.
Y'all know I'm a Tracy Morgan fan, and this is pretty good news, but I can't help hearing it in my head without interpreting his voice doing the reporting...Tracy Morgan's first appearance after the horrific accident . My question: how badly does one have to break a leg to merit the use of a walker? I know how shitty mine was, and all I got was crutches and a week's worth of hydrocodone .
Conspiracy? I'm not sure.
Courtesy of Grammarly, who used this picture with the hashtag #FunnyFriday...it must suck for those who've traveled to the future and have to endure our society without all the cool shit they thought we'd have by now.
And I think I'm goin' back to bed for awhile. Had a kickass anxiety attack this morning, forcing me to reschedule my enrollment appointment. The nice part is I made it for next week with a tour of the TC3 campus, so that's worked out in my favor. I know I've got some catching up to do around WDC as well, but my head's pounding and maybe it's a good idea if I relax for the rest of the night. Peace, check out the hook, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Do women talk more than men? There is a new science study on this topic; what do you think? Don't be shy, say it like it is."
Yes y'all! Welcome back to another potentially bombastic entry, with a "30-Day Blogging Challenge" prompt that has the merit to maybe spark some discussion depending on the differences of opinion that may or may not exist. And it's possible that I could be wrong and I'm just over-thinking this whole thing...maybe some women in the party here will cross enemy lines in this "Battle Of The Sexes" type of question. Who knows? We'll see when it's all over.
Now, based solely on my own experiences (before anyone gets the idea I'm some sexist miscreant), I do believe women talk more than men. A lot more. And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing...I just think that all men wanna do is get in, get to the point, order a pizza, and not be bothered. Women on the other hand are about the details and the little things, and "How did it make you feel?" and "Remember when we were talking about this the other day?" It's true. And lord have mercy on your soul if you don't completely recall a minuscule sentence fragment from weeks before that somehow makes its way back into a current conversation.
I hate to defer my opinion on this to someone else, but take the three minutes to watch this Chris Rock clip on relationships. I very much concur with what he says...he nails the dichotomy within the coupling between men and women.
See, it's like this: when guys call up their buddies to see what's up, it's a ten minute phone call primarily to confirm plans or just catch up. Men don't waste steps during conversations...it's point A to point B and that's it. On the other hand, a guy can courtesy-call his significant other when he's on his way to the grocery store to see if there's anything we might need, and it goes from "Can you pick up some eggs" to work drama, doctor's appointment updates, and familial crises that can't wait another half hour until you're home and you can privately discuss details face-to-face. There's little sense of what the guy on the other end of the line is actually doing, and there's no such thing as cutting to the chase, because every sentence has some sort of hidden meaning and every story has purposeful point.
I've found the best way to mentally please a woman is just to listen and show your concern. You don't want to talk and say too much, because you never know what kind of vitriolic can of worms you might be opening up should you say something that doesn't jive with how a woman feels about something (even though it may not really have been made clear from the onset). There's a reason why so many people believe in the statement "Happy wife, happy life." The last place you wanna be is trying to sleep next to a pissed-off woman because of something you thought would add substantially to a conversation only to have made it worse by opening your big, dumb mouth. Women can talk all day and are seldom wrong...men are better off when they don't say too much or offer strong dissent, and overall, I'm sure statistically that's why men don't talk as much as the fairer sex.
Lyn , my only qualm about this prompt (I know I mentioned to you that I liked it, and I do) is that you mentioned a scientific study on this topic...it would've been nice to have an article regarding it as a point of reference. Not knocking you at all for it (and I knew you were just playin' last night during our email exchange), but for future reference, I think it would be good to back up a prompt like this with some raw data so we don't have to hope we're all looking at the same numbers or points of view.
BCF PROMPT: "People spend a lot of time on their hair. Does your hair color or style say anything about you?"
I spend practically zero time on my hair besides washing it and shaving around the sides and back every couple of weeks. I made the decision about a year ago (well, maybe longer, but last summer was when I began to implement it) to try to grow dreadlocks. My hair grows fast, and because of what I'm doing it's still in an awkward stage where it looks rather ridiculous...I need to get in that mop and trim some of it up so it's better sectioned, but I'm too lazy and luckily I can get away with shoving it under a hat whenever I need to leave the house.
I'm also fortunate because even though my hair is physically very fine in nature, I can grow it out and it looks pretty good on me (so I've been told). Not many men can pull off long hair, from what I've heard, so I guess I've got that goin' for me.
That's not to say I haven't done some weird shit with my hair...in high school I was always shaving weird lines and whatnot into my buzz-cuts, or dying it random shades of blonde. I tried coloring my hair with Kool-Aid too, and the next day it rained, ruining my hat and my shirt. Raspberry makes a nice tint, but I'm naturally brown so it didn't wear well.
It's great that society seems to be less-judgmental about personal appearances (hair colors, tattoos, etc.). People should be judged on their merits, not just their looks. It's not about what a person's got goin' on around their exterior; can they perform their given tasks and assigned duties? Is their heart in the right place? Can they be trusted/counted on when they're needed the most? Stereotypes have faded considerably. The long-haired hippy could be the doctor that saves your life; the tattooed biker dude might also be the best damned human rights activist in your community. You just don't know, and people deserve the benefit of the doubt as opposed to being shunned as less than human because their face is pierced up like a gnarled rock star. We should be encouraging self-expression, not frowning upon it...if you want a society of robots, start building them .
Because "My Adidas" didn't fit the entry...and from the sound of this song the talking chromosome isn't limited to the ladies either.
"You're the damn Walter Cronkite of the neighborhood."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
Another double-shot of prompts in "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" , courtesy of Princess Megan Rose ...is my girl a part of the Mitchopolis /Charrr 🌈 conspiracy?
"Which old fashioned monster do you find the most frightening? Frankenstein, Count Dracula, the Mummy, or the Wolfman?"
"Which fictional character would you most like to be for one day?"
Maybe I'm a wet blanket, but because I know these characters don't exist, I'm not too terribly frightened by any of them. Oh sure, I'd take a straight-up pause and have a proverbial heart attack if someone dressed up like one snuck up behind me, but that happens when normal people creep on me too. Wanna fuck with me? Touch me from behind when I don't know you're there. I'm always jumpy and I hate it when people catch me off-guard. I'm usually too lost in thought or focused on whatever I'm doing, and if you're that sinister enough to disrupt my mind's flow, I will shame you and/or retaliate...maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, your path will become troubled by my shocking vengeance. You will taste my wrath so hard you'll psychologically wish you never even thought to disturb me...I will find your weakness and see to it that you're eaten alive by it. Bank it, son.
But if I had to supply an actual prompt-abiding answer, I'd guess Frankenstein. He's a legit scientific invention, created in a lab out of other people. What can go wrong? Everything. There's no predictability, no silver bullet, no sunlight, no weird undead misconceptions. He's an unstable menace with fucking bolts coming out of his neck. Why wouldn't that be terrifying? You get all Frank on me and I'll probably turn into a capable killing machine out of self-preservation, as opposed to not fully knowing what's going on in my surroundings and succumbing to a weirdo anomaly like Dracula or a mummy. The Werewolf might actually be friendly, because he's self-conscious about his lot in life and his effed-up over-hairness, like Chewbacca...he just needs a hug more than he wants to eat you for breakfast. Dracula can be tamed by a cross and the sun, and a mummy, ummm, I don't get, but I'm sure there's ways of assuaging one and it's not like you see one every day unless you're, like, diggin' for treasures in Egypt or some shit (and if you are, you probably have the means to take one down as well in your bag of tricks).
As for the fictional character I'd like to be most for one day, I don't know. I once read a book called The Dice Man , written under the pseudonym Luke Rhinehart (I have no idea why I wanted to read it, and I had to special-order it when I worked at Waldenbooks freakin' years ago...it was hard to find). Basically it's about a psychiatrist who turns to using the rolls of dice to make his decisions for him in all facets of his life. It's a crazy fantastic read and eye-opening about how insane people can get when they leave life up to the shake of the bones. You live by the outcome and your peace with it has already been made when you decide to assign options to numbers, promising yourself to abide by them at any cost. It's nuts, and I want to read it again, but I no longer have my copy and can't seem to find it in any library system I've looked for it in.
And why would I want to be that guy? I'd have the educational cache to be able to pull it off under the guise of "experimental therapy". I could justify bad decisions as a factual roll of the dice. Maybe I'd do things I wouldn't normally find myself experiencing if I were just boring and complacent. Everything, from what kind of soap I buy at the store to the thought of sniffin' blow off a hooker's ass, would be outta my hands and left to chance.
It's a great book if you can find it...kinda long and windy, but still exceptional if you can devote time and head space to it. If it could get away with being that guy minus repercussions, I'd be all over it like stupid on...ummm, exceptionally stupid. (Sorry...my metaphor thought process is broken right now.)
Stuart Scott...I've mentioned him before. He's a beloved SportsCenter anchor, and yesterday was the ESPY's...ESPN's awards show devoted to all that is sports. He received a Perseverance award, and his acceptance speech was both beautiful and moving. He's a father, a cancer survivor, and a straight-up baller of a man not only in the industry, but in life. We could all learn a lot from him.
I'm tellin' you...this is most ingenious idea ev-arhhh!! But sometimes even the best-laid intentions go undesirably wrong. I'm grateful that this grilled cheese incident was brought to my attention before I had the common sense to think it might not be a good idea. I'm not totally stupid, but I'm smart enough to admit that I could see this happening to me (and then being pretty pissed off about it...mainly because the cheese side landed on the floor; not because I was soooo haaan-gry).
And, well, speaking of haaan-gry, I should get outta here and decide if my microwaveable cup of Rice-A-Roni at work was enough to sustain me for the remainder of the day. I'm kinda feelin' the urge to eat, but my legs are screamin' at me from being on them so much today...that's what bein' super-busy at work gets you when people decide it's cool to unload trucks of donated stuff on you...my surgically healing body is still trying to reconcile my determination with my limitations. And I haven't even begun to figure out how I'm gonna deal with the bus ride to my college admissions advisement appointment tomorrow morning. Think me some good thoughts. Peace, homeboy you never shut up, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Confucius say 'To go beyond is as wrong as to fall to short.' Do you agree or disagree?"
'Sup players? We're being spread deep with all sorts of culture today regarding these prompts...I'm making no excuses if I fail to inspire your philosophic senses, because I don't claim to be very well-versed on all the topics.
For as wise as Confucius is said to be, I think I have to disagree with him on this one...and I think some of my blogging cohorts might not agree with my take, but that's ok. Let's have at this.
You're all familiar with the idea of "going above and beyond", right? Well, the point I'd like to make is what if that's not as appreciated as you'd hoped it'd be? What then is the difference between that and falling short of expectations (outside of the quote-unquote personal satisfaction in a job well done bullshit we're all supposed to have anyway)?
Oh boy...we're not even ten sentences into today's entry and I've already opened the swearing floodgates. We could be in for a long afternoon.
I don't think anyone likes falling short. Nobody wakes up and says, "Today I'm not gonna live up to any expectations." We'd all like to believe that if we can't be overachievers, then maybe we can at least do enough to get by and hope it's a good day or whatever. I'd like to believe the majority of human beings have decent intentions and strive not to be dicks among society in general (even the snarkiest of us are still good people at heart). Sometimes we need to do the bare minimum to get through the day, and that's quite understandable...not every day is rainbows, boobies, and long walks barefoot on a clean beach. So why oh why, dear Confucius, must "going beyond" be as intolerable as "falling short"?
That makes no kinda sense to me. People should be celebrated for this. It takes a certain amount of stamina, sense of the situation, and heightened concern to do more than what is required of you. Is there disappointment in not being recognized for it? Sure, but only if you let it affect you. I don't see how that feeling is the same as not doing enough...especially when it doesn't bother you to fail under some circumstances. Hey, I'm a blogger, not a life-saver. I'm not trained in the finer points of rescue awareness. I can only do so much and as long as I did that then I should be satisfied knowing that old lady I tried to help across the street and refused me died with the knowledge that someone cared enough to offer her assistance before a semi splayed her guts across the intersection. Sad and unfortunate, but I get to live to fight another day.
Maybe Confucius needs to stick to humorous anecdotes and musings about normal, everyday life like "Man who stand on toilet high on pot." I don't think he's that much more qualified to say anything of greater importance in regards to things like expectations, seeing as how he kinda fucked up the whole "going above and beyond" concept with one crack about it maybe being similar to failing. Jerk.
BCF PROMPT: "What is your favorite magazine? Why? Do you read it on-line or off-line?"
I do have a favorite magazine, and thanks for asking. It's Rolling Stone , and I don't think I could really pinpoint a reason for wanting to read it so much when I was younger. Maybe you could appreciate this, ma (yeah, my mom reads my blog and I'm not ashamed)...my aunt used to subscribe to it, and I remember her getting her mail one day when we stayed at her condo. I thought it was the coolest thing for some unknown reason. I couldn't wait to be old enough to have my own money and become a subscriber.
It's a nice mix of music and entertainment news (and if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a music nerd with my own dorky little Facebook page dedicated to such things over at A Song A Day ), plus political and social commentary. What works against me though is that I'm old-school...I prefer holding things in my hands to read (such as books and magazines) and since the subscription gifted to me last year ran out, I haven't been able to renew it and I don't check my email nearly enough to read all of the daily newsletters RS sends out. You'd think with all the time I have to waste online, at least I could do that. Nope...for some reason I like reading the print copy and its weeks-behind articles. Preferably while sitting on the toilet. Confucius, what do you have to say about "man who reads while sitting on toilet"? There's a philosophical joke in there somewhere...Welcome to a new game here at "Who do I still think I am??" called "Comment Prompt", where I give you the ammunition to make a comment based on something I randomly say about my life in a blog post. Remember...the only winners are the ones who take the time to read what I have to say, and the prize is seeing your words in this newfangled WDC font that's been enlarged recently and is easier to read when perusing the internet via Google Chrome.
I have no idea what I was thinking earlier this morning as I was making notes for what I'd like to write about while killing time before my therapist session, but this song popped up and I wrote it down. It has no relevance (unless I can tie it into the "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" prompt) at all, other than Nirvana's In Utero is a sonic masterpiece and a breakthrough follow-up album in a genre that was just starting to see its full potential being realized. It's also, in my opinion, the finest example of Dave Grohl's drumming prowess.
"There are countless formulas for pressing flowers."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"If you were going to an art museum, would you rather see paintings or sculptures? Do you like older ones or modern ones?"
Now I know why I went with Nirvana as a musical choice today. Bear with me, as my notes about this are lengthier than usual.
I'm not nearly as cultured as I should be, or at least someone on the cusp of turning 39 should be. I definitely feel like I missed out on some opportunities to gain a little more knowledge about the art world...it fascinates me, but I can't just bring myself to go, ya know? Last time I visited an art museum, it was the historic Albright-Knox in Buffalo, and mainly I was there with the crazy ex to see Wilco, who were performing on the lawn as part of a festival. In a two-and-a-half year relationship with a girl who was stupid hot that lasted three years too long, holding her under the downtown stars during "Kingpin" is likely one of the best memories we have. But going on about her will take more than I care to get into right now.
The deal with most museums is they're filled a lot of times with great stuff you can see in books too. It's already been discussed and disseminated. It's old news. I honestly don't remember any of the times I've been inside the AKAG, I think because you can get "legendary overload" after seeing so many great things...I was at the Smithsonian in Washington DC back in '89 and I don't remember much of that either.
But that's also why I prefer "new stuff"; sculptures or paintings. There's more of a feeling of being "in the now" with it. There's a chance that it could be groundbreaking, live...a movement might be happening under your feet. It's a ridiculous thing to comprehend at the time, but in retrospect you remember everything that went on during that time that a certain bit of art moved you in a way that your life changed.
And that's why I'm going back to Nirvana. I won't get into the details of how I came across the seminal album "Nevermiind" , but being an impressionable teenager when it came out is akin to The Beatles blowing the doors off the sixties. Change and revolution...important ingredients for being involved in any sort of sea change the world ahead of you is going through (personal or societal). You can be a kid and hear Jimi Hendrix or Led Zeppelin and have your mind blown, and go back to the record store (or iTunes) and download the catalog. But to live in the era of something that changes everything is incredible, and Nirvana personified that...at least for me.
Maybe that's why I get so pissed off when someone says "music isn't art". It totally is, just as much as painting, sculpting, and writing. Most people front because they don't understand it...the obtuse guitar noises or the wicky-wicky's from a turntable looping sounds are just as significant a presence as any jackhole who had the capability to publish a book in the 1940's. Respect that. Unless you're gonna be a Top 40 pop princess, you have no right to say whatever's popular, likable, or even significant to some segment of the emotional population has no right to be so lucky. And that's why I have no problem with new or fantastical things. I just need to get out more and see them, become a fan, and pump their tires. There's a whole world underneath the bullshit you're being fed via the mainstream...you just need the sack to seek it out. Stop being safe...start exploring and quit doing entertainment-style maths. You'll thank me someday for it.
I understand that this is completely irrelevant to anything I've written today, but c'mon...this list of of what people find when cleaning up hotel rooms is at least kinda humorous (and maybe a little gross). It makes my experience of living in a (not quite) cheap motel a few summers back not seem so bad.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's the sore-throated feeling I get when talking about my least-favorite subject...me. I know I extol the virtues of therapy and all, but it's physically painful. I sit there and I open up and blab, because I hate awkward silences and my therapist seems determined to make that a thing between us. "So how's your mood been, besides the random stress and awkwardness?" And my answer never seems to reflect the true nature of what I've felt in the month between visits...it feels more like a synopsis of my current week or last few days or whatever. I don't think he's so concerned about my life as he is about making the next appointment, and we've covered all the scientific breakthroughs we're gonna get to in this quasi-medical relationship. I know I say it all the time, but it really might be time to seek out a new counselor in the group that accepts my insurance. Someone who doesn't seem bored with my boring life, and isn't so monotone in his replies. Dude's gotta be younger than me, and surely he has to be more excitable...which maybe is what I need now at this point.
Annnnnd I'm getting out of here. I hate it when I have to pause the writing of an entry because I think a nap's coming on and it turns into a three hour thing. I'm kinda not wanting to wake up too much so I can parlay this and some Ambien into a full night's sleep. So on that note, lemme get outta here and see what y'all are up to. Peace, I promise not to sell your perfumed secrets, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Tell us about a time you had to choose between two options. Against the opinion of your family and friends you chose the unpopular choice. Why? What were you hoping the choice would provide?"
What up y'all? I'm smellin' some kind of chicanery with all these prompts today...I swear Lyn , I'm not behind any of them! The double-prompting madness over in "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" is a trip though...what are those boys Charrr 🌈 and Mitchopolis up to? I'll save my sneaking suspicions for later on in this entry.
I'm having a hard time trying to think of a situation where I totally went against conventional wisdom to the dismay of family and friends. I guess I've always played things safer because I don't care for confrontation, and I try to make educated decisions when it comes down to the things in life that really matter. I also don't like letting people down, so I have a tendency to think with my heart at times because I'd rather do right by people than have to deal with those close to me saying "I told you so!", even it if means making sacrifices sometimes.
I don't think moving out to Cortland counts, because I really didn't consult with many people about it. It was more a survival choice...basically it was Cortland or a homeless shelter again, and there's nothing good about that, especially in a city that pretty much doesn't care or try to help good people stuck in bad situations (listen to me, trying to pass myself off as a good person! ). I'm sure some of my friends would've preferred I stayed in Buffalo, because it's not like anyone's gonna just drop everything to hang out when you're four hours away.
And that's not to say I haven't made some questionable choices in life, but usually I feel like I know what I'm getting myself into. We're gambling every time we get out of bed that something stupid isn't gonna happen, and lives can change direction in a heartbeat of uncontrollable conditions.
Maybe turning my back on my father a few years ago falls into the category of "perhaps I could've done that differently". He'd been going through some difficult circumstances, and I'd gone so far as to tell my aunt I couldn't support some of his actions because it would lead to matters becoming worse. She agreed, and eventually I was right...he wound up in the hospital after downing a bunch of meds and chasing it with Jim Beam. I conveniently used the excuse that I was working 60 hours a week between two jobs, so I wasn't able to visit him. To make matters worse, he started asking me for money to pay him back for what my ex and I thought was a gift...he bought other siblings stuff, and all we needed was a couple hundred bucks to get my ex's car fixed. We took it under the assumption of "no questions asked", with no plan of repayment. Now all the sudden he was broke, having blown his paychecks when he should've been a little more frugal, and he figured it was time to collect. His voice mails were getting a little obnoxious, and I tried to set up an opportunity where we could discuss the matter, but he never returned my calls after that, which was it for me. We never had a great relationship to begin with, and my ex and I went out of our way to accommodate him on numerous occasions when my stepmom left him (he'd like to show up unannounced once in awhile, right around dinnertime...what were we gonna say? No?). We'd let him hang out whenever he wanted...we were very generous with him, whether he helped us out or not.
Sure, the whole thing between us never had to escalate as far as it did. We're both at fault, and I'm sure certain family members would've preferred everything to be resolved in a much better fashion, but that wasn't entirely possible. And of course I came off looking like the dick and the bad guy, but whatever. Nobody really cared to understand my position or my point, and I gave up trying to explain myself because no one wanted to listen...they saw things one way, as opposed to how complicated the entire mess was. I don't need more drama in my life, and that's all the relationship felt like after awhile. It's sad and it sucks saying that, but it's true.
BCF PROMPT: "Let's do something positive. Tell us about a happy memory that you have."
A happy memory...yikes! I've probably repressed most of 'em for one reason or another. I try not to let the highs get too high, ya know? Because then everything else sucks in comparison. Yes, I'm very aware of this personality flaw, and I'm working on it...I want to be able to enjoy things more often.
Just about every good memory I can come up with includes my boy DMFM...we've had a lot of adventures in the 20-odd years we've known each other. Driving from Buffalo to Pittsburgh to see Rage Against The Machine and Wu-Tang Clan back in '97 is definitely up there. it was our first big road trip experience, and he'd had a dream the night before that we were gonna die on this excursion...he was that paranoid. About halfway there he saw a sign- one of those mileage signs that tells you how far you have to go to get to a certain city, and he flipped when for some reason we came across one for Buffalo. "That's it! Turn the car around!" But I couldn't do that...we had to persevere because we couldn't let our fears hold us captive.
Just outside of Pittsburgh we stopped at a little roadside gas station to confirm our directions and make sure we were headed on the right path. It wasn't your typical gas station, but more like a mom-and-pop auto mechanic place. DMFM got out of the car just as one of the guys came out to see what we needed...and he had an old-school hook for a hand, which thoroughly creeped Dave right the fuck out. He hightailed it back to the ride and was like "Drive! Just drive!!" Luckily we found a grocery store nearby and we were, indeed, going the right way.
The concert itself was a good time...nothing too out of the ordinary besides the opening act, Atari Teenage Riot. Every couple minutes they'd just scream "Stop the riots" over some ridiculously loud techno/industrial beats, making it possibly the worst half hour I've ever spent watching live music.
Because we weren't thinking, we drove home right after the show. Stupid me piloted the vehicle about 30 minutes in the absolute opposite direction when we realized we weren't getting any closer to home. Exhausted, we stopped at this great little restaurant called Eat'n Park , where we got amazing food and phenomenal service. We loaded up on coffee and didn't stop talking the entire way home.
As we pulled in to Eat'n Park, I'd heard a funny sound coming from my car...my brakes started squealing. Great...hours from home and now I'm gonna have car trouble. We made it home alright but the noise got progressively worse...luckily Pittsburgh is mostly thruway traffic coming back to Buffalo. I dropped Dave off and went right to a mechanic, where it cost me a buttload to get new brakes and rotors on my little Chevy Beretta. But it was totally worth it. Yeah, we probably should've sprung for a cheap hotel room, but we didn't know any better at the time, and if that would've been in the plans we may never have experienced the joy that was Eat'n Park. We talked about that place for years afterwards, swearing we'd make a trip just to go back there someday. We never did, but on a trip to Cleveland a few years ago I stopped with my ex, and got him a couple of souvenirs.
Haven't seen that kid in almost two years now, which kinda makes me sad. He's all married up and had a kid back in December, and doesn't talk to anyone as far as I know. I tried emailing him one of the last times I was back in Buffalo, but I never got a reply. I don't wanna be all "whatever" about it, 'cuz it kinda hurts, but whatever...people are busy and stuff, I guess.
For my money, it doesn't get any more epic than being in a crowd of about ten thousand people screaming "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!"
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"Let's go hardcore issue. Animal testing - yes, no, maybe. Let me hear your opinion."
"Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? Which ones and why?"
Alright fellas, which one is it? Two prompts for the price of one? I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think Mitch and Charlie are doing this as some sort of societal test to see how confused they can make us in Blog City...it's a conspiracy!
Regarding animal testing, has anyone you know ever come out and actually said they're for it? Because I don't think anyone is. Why does science think this is a good idea? "Here, let's take this chemical compound that may or not be hazardous, and let's soak tons of little animals in it to study the effects we're not sure it may cause." While I'm appreciative that most hair sprays don't burn our scalps because of this, isn't there a better way?
Animals can't tell you how certain products make them feel, so why is it ok justifying endangering them? That seems so stupid...don't we know enough about how different chemicals react to say if something is safe or not? Why can't we just run clinical trials on humans, and pay them handsomely if something terrible were to happen? At least you'd get some honest feedback. Maybe I don't know enough about the scientific process that's involved with creating certain products, but why do we have to sacrifice the lower half of the food chain because the dyes in certain types of make-up cause lab rats to go apeshit? How about we just stick with safe ingredients all the way around, so nobody gets hurt? Like I've said from time to time, if you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. We're supposedly these intelligent creatures...how is it we can't put those brains to use in a way that doesn't harm a poor, defenseless creature?
Then again, if that's one less rat tearing through my garbage....
Conspiracy theories...yeah, y'all. All day. I need all three sides to every story before I make a judgement. Isn't that the American way? Everyone knows someone who knows the guy who may or may not be part of the plot.
Maybe this blog is a conspiracy...I don't know. Often it's the person who knows the least that's involved the most. Chew on that for a minute, conspiracy theorists.
I think the general public typically knows 5% of the real story behind the JFK assassination, 9/11, and why McDonalds stopped offering Hot Mustard sauce for their Chicken McNuggets. We'll never know everything, and that just leads the speculation running rampant like a flock of mad cockroaches. Plus, I don't know if you've heard of this thing called "The Internet", but apparently now everyone's got an opinion about something...and that doesn't make them an expert (although second-guessing is like the fourth-highest growing spectator sport in places that have reliable internet access).
I don't know if there's such a thing as "the truth" anymore. News corporations have their slants, politics is loaded with bias, and the love of the almighty dollar will get you to believe the unthinkable. Yet how much does this affect our day-to-day reality? Not nearly as much as we'd like to imagine it does. Gossip rags are nearly as reliable as credible sources, and I wonder how much of a hard time certain segments of the population have at discerning the difference. Maybe that's why we only know 5% about debatable issues.
If you're a fan of sports like I am, you know who Chris Berman is...the legendary SportsCenter personality on ESPN. He's highly knowledgeable and entertaining, with a fantastic motor and a knack for turning phrases. And now, courtesy of Deadspin, we've got a treasure trove of Berman losing his shit during segments that never made it to live TV. This is entirely amazing on levels you didn't even know you need to experience. If Casey Kasem's dead dog rant is something that makes you laugh, this will be right up your alley.
So I had the most bizarre thing happen at work today. Right as you walk in to our section of the building, there's our desk where we check in the people who "shop" us. Behind us is our little staging area, where we write up donated items and hang them...it's maybe four feet by ten feet, and that's where all of our supplies are kept as well. This lady walks in with two of her daughters, and they're very disparate in age. One's maybe in her thirties, and the other is maybe eight. As I'm doing the intake on the older of the girls, I didn't see the mother sneaking in behind me (I was by myself all afternoon...the other regular didn't show up and neither did the Mormon Sisters). I turned around and this woman was straight-up trying to go through my backpack. I was like "Uhhh, ma'am, that's my personal stuff". It was so far out of the way...I'm kinda pissed that I actually didn't catch her in my perif moving past me. It's not like the contents of my lunch or the book I'm reading are some kind of nationally-guarded secret, and it's not like it's not obvious that that's where we do most of our work in processing donations, so c'mon lady...back up off our personal space!
Well, I think I've done said about all I need to say about today. I still feel like shit...I was draggin' ass all day at work and probably would've went home early if anyone else had bothered to show up this afternoon, but I've managed to string together some productive days regardless so I'll take it. At least I've gotten some decent sleep the last few nights, although food still doesn't sound attractive...maybe there's a conspiracy at play there as well. Tomorrow I can sleep in a little bit before I hit up the therapist I blew off a while back...that should be fun . Peace, you justify those, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Do you think suicide should be legal?"
Hello friends...welcome to a very special after-school episode of "Who do I still think I am??" , where today we're confronting a very ugly truth I'm sure most of us would rather pretend didn't exist. I'm not gonna lie...suicide is a very uncomfortable topic, for obvious reasons. My next trip back to Buffalo will include the proper burying of a relative who passed away last autumn, and let's just say it wasn't because of natural causes.
I'm not quite sure I understand the purpose of this prompt...I guess I never really thought of suicide as something that could be considered a punishable offense in a court of law. I mean, it's a pretty final thing if it's carried out successfully, and it's not like you can lock up a corpse to serve out a jail term. I know in biblical terms suicide is considered a sin, and those who commit it are supposedy banished to Hell if you believe in that kind of thing, but in the end you're just dead. That's it. What more is there to contemplate?
Sure, there's the whole "tainting of a person's legacy" and the stigma attached to an undignified death...but how much is enough? For someone to get to that point in general there has to be a certain amount of suffering involved. What purpose is served by adding another layer to an unfortunate situation? Furthermore, how can you justify or endorse penalizing someone who is no longer in existence? I must be missing something, because it doesn't make sense.
I also think it's wrong to saddle the family of the deceased with the additional burden of dealing with legal ramifications associated with suicide. They're grieving as it is...why should they have to put up with anything more? It doesn't seem very fair...the person responsible for such an action isn't around to provide answers or face consequences, and the family shouldn't be held accountable.
I'm not sure what else there is to say about this. I don't see a reason why suicide should be against the law. It's not like robbing a bank or driving while intoxicated, where the guilty can be apprehended and face trial. It's sad and unfortunate, yes, but why make more out of something that's pretty much finite? Adding another layer of bureaucratic red tape isn't gonna change anything, and it's not gonna convince anyone who's reached that decision to change their mind.
BCF PROMPT: "Write an anecdote. According to Merriam-Webster.com an anecdote comes from the Greek word anekdota, which means unpublished. It is defined as a short story concerning a funny or interesting occurrence or event."
There aren't many things in life worse than feeling like you need to throw up and tripping over what might be a dead guy on the way to the bathroom.
That was me about a half hour ago. Something wasn't sitting right in my stomach when I got home from work this afternoon. I figured it might be a good idea to head over to the bathroom to sort it out...and there's an older gentleman laying in the hallway of my building, just outside my door. I was like "Dude, you alright?" No answer. He's just layin' there like he's takin' a power nap and the hallway's as good a place as any.
I don't have any experience with dead bodies, and I'm really hoping he's not dead because I'm sure there's some kind of omen or bad luck thing associated with a dead person at your door. Maybe he's a little over-served and he's just passed out. I also like to keep to myself and not make trouble for anyone, and I can see how a dead body could be an inconvenience. There's, like, paperwork and stuff involved.
Yep, well...this is awkward. I just heard someone trying to wake him up, so at least he's not dead. He's definitely just nappin' hard though, all sprawled out. He's off to one side, so that's a good thing...in his previous position he was blocking passage. Still, I could think of better places to curl up and doze off. He does look hella into that nap, for sure.
And I feel tons better having puked up my morning coffee. I'm glad this wasn't a real dead-guy situation, because I failed miserably at being a decent human being.
I'm not advocating or anything, but I think "Funeral DJ" is a completely overlooked aspect of our society.
"'Cause it's our goddamn right to live
yet it's still not our choice to die."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"Vacation or Staycation: which do you prefer and why?"
I'm all for the staycation. Sure it's nice to get away from the ordinary chores of life once in awhile, but sometimes vacations are just so much work. Are they really worth the effort? Half the time you need a recovery period to readjust back to normal.
Staycations are great because you're truly on your own damn time. No need to deal with anyone else's constraints or worrying about whether there'll be enough time to get everyone showered and ready to sight-see. You always know where you are, as opposed to being a stranger in a strange land, and there's no trouble finding lunch. For a week or so, you're your own boss more so than ever. Don't wanna take out the trash or put on clean socks? Great! Pull up a piece of lawn and do nothing.
I used to love it when people would ask me about my vacation time at work..."What are you doing? Going anywhere special?" "Yeah, my driveway!" Can't front on the low-cost alternative. I'd drag out my fancy reclining lawn chair, a boom box for some tunes, a cooler full of frosty beverages, and kick it for no reason other than "I can." Why make life more complicated, especially when you're not supposed to be doing anything of major importance? There's no crowds, no drama, and no hassles when you're doin' your own thing.
Look, I get why people like to travel...it's fun and adventurous and all that. But there's something to be said about not having to deal with undue commotion and anxiety and vacation stress. Give me a time free from worry...there's a simple yet palpable enjoyment from not having a care in the world from the comfort of your own home.
Because I know you're concerned (and I'm concerned too} here's an update on the possibly dead guy: he's not dead. He was just really shitfaced. I tried to go to the bathroom, seeing as how he'd moved up from off the floor. I thought I was in the clear...nope, he was sitting on a toilet in the dark, smoking a cigarette. I don't think he knew where he was. Later I heard someone bitchin' about him...maybe to him. Something's definitely amiss, but he's not dead. That's a bit of a relief.
So I guess the "30-Day Blogging Challenge" forum is down because Emily is trying to transfer ownership of it over to 30DBC Creator/Founder . Insanity!! It'll probably be back up sooner rather than later, so I'm not stressin' over it. All things in due time, I figure. A minor hiccup. Still a little hard to fathom that Emily will be leaving us for good though...I wish her nothing but the best. She was incredible in saving the 30DBC awhile back and bringing it up to the prominence it has today. Can't forget that.
Speaking of the whole "forum being down" thing, I wouldn't know anything about that because I'm having my own issues with the internet at the moment. For some unknown reason my laptop says I'm connected, but I get the Chrome error messages (that goofy dot-matrix dinosaur) telling me I'm "Unable to connect to the Internet". What's weirder? Every time I've clicked on the WDC emoticon box, it freezes up Chrome with the "Not Responding" kick in the junk. At least I'm somewhat smart and copy/pasted most of this entry over to NotePad, just in case I'm having trouble saving it. This is the moment I'm actually sick about Lazarus Form Recovery not working on my laptop anymore, because I'd feel really great about having it right now. But the whole "it's not from Google's store so it's not gonna play nice" thing really sucks balls. It was cool when I had it and could get it to do what it was supposed to do, but then I had to restart my computer and I should've known better .
Suck it, Yankees! The Buffalo Bills are the most Google'd team in New York .
Well, it's about 3:30-ish and I'm already over today. I've seen enough and maybe written too much...I'm ready for a nap and maybe a do-over. Peace, my system to keep wishing, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Provide your thoughts/opinions on a newspaper/magazine article or a radio/television news story from the past week. And if you feel inclined, let loose and blog about your week. Also, feel free to comment on your favorite blog entries from your fellow challengers from the preceding week."
Awesome that this kind of prompt is regaining some traction. I think it's so much better than the typical Sunday Review we're so used to. But first, a playlist courtesy of iTunes, if you will...
Jaw, Knee, Music by NoFX
Dime, Quarter, Nickel, Penny by Nappy Roots
Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty
I'm Not OK (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance
Operator by Jim Croce
Counting 5-4-3-2-1 by Thursday
Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye by Leonard Cohen
Revisiting The Styleetron by Felt
Now then...what's in the news this week?
I'm always down for the protesting of a protest . It's not often I side with giant corporations or big companies, but in this case I'll be more than happy to make an exception.
Hockey doesn't lend itself easily to much besides the on-ice action. I applaud teams that are willing to enhance the in-game experience. Cheerleaders are very much a part of sport, even down at the pee-wee level. What's the big deal if a professional hockey team employs them?
From a fan's perspective, I understand the backlash to an extent...the team in question didn't make many changes from a star-studded roster that couldn't live up to expectations during the playoffs. But hating on a franchise for something like this is absurd...you should be pissed that your team doesn't compete when it matters most, and frankly, y'all in southern California need to be thankful that you have some hockey teams to begin with. I don't see Canada bitchin' about "We're not like Los Angeles". Get over yourselves, San Jose!
And the cries of sexism? Child, please. Women all across the country die for the opportunity to represent their hometown teams. They understand that they're going to be exploited to a certain extent. Part of the gig entails dealing with meatheads who want to do nothing more than drink beer and ogle at eye candy during sporting events. If you don't want to be looked at and admired, become a secretary. Don't sign up for the cheerleading team. I actually feel worse for the men on the Sharks squad who have to deal with the insults from an unforgiving public that think cheerleading is a "girls activity". Y'all don't know what kind of shape you have to be in or the dedication it takes to be considered for the cheerleading team.
So bravo to the San Jose Sharks for staying the course on their new endeavor, even if I'm really indifferent to them as a hockey fan in general. Y'all may not have history on your side as far as the NHL goes, but you're doing the right thing.
"K-I-C-K-A-S-S...that's the way we spell success!"
"When you blow out like a dead star
it reminds me how uniform your beautiful is."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
Because "Barrel O' Monkeys" is happening soon, as an original Soundtracker I'm more than proud to share, courtesy of lizco252, this image:
I suppose I should also share my favorite blog entry of the week. It's hard because during the "30-Day Blogging Challenge" you're never really thinking about that kinda stuff. I know I don't put these words down with the explicit thought of being anyone's "favorite", but I can't speak for the group. Wanna know what I liked? Pick an entry by Noyoki . She brings a tight game to the party, and she's my new favorite blogger. Catch yourself more at "Invalid Item" .
Well, it's Sunday and I'm sure you people have better things to be doin' with what's left of your weekend, so I'mma let you be. Peace, the better happier you, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Us And Them" by Pink Floyd.
Good afternoon y'all! Screw Creation Saturday...I think we need to have more music-based prompts on a regular basis! But if we were to only get one in the foreseeable future, Pink Floyd isn't a bad way to go.
I know we're supposed to craft some kind of corresponding story or poem, but nothing's coming to me at the moment. How about an obtuse interpretation of the lyrics ? This isn't meant to define the song or be taken seriously; like a horoscope, this is for entertainment purposes only.
Maybe "Us And Them" isn't about external conflict...maybe it's about the wars we have with ourselves, in our minds. It's knowing something in good conscience, and then pondering what the consequences would be were we to go against our better judgement. To explore and shatter limits. To overindulge. To wonder what lies beyond ordinary wonder. Are we human, or is there something else we're up against?
Do we overcomplicate life sometimes, making more out of simple situations than is really necessary? Are we living complacent among a nation of fear? When is too much not enough? What if the only true answer is death itself...that the point of searching is that there is no point? We spend our entire lives searching for meanings that don't exist. We want to touch things not because they're there, but so we can hope to learn more about them. After all, what more do we have if we don't have hope?
Who we are on the outside is just an acquiescence of our most mortal desires. We all strive to be bigger and better than what we end up being...we're our own reasons but that doesn't stop us from believing we're gonna be more. We're never quite satisfied, are we? There's always something we can change if we had the power to, and the fortunate few who can will always look for something else to manipulate. There's an example for everything; the goal is to not be one.
That's the beauty of music...the open interpretation and the spawning of inspiration. So many great songs can lead you in a thousand different directions, depending on your mood. The only thing holding you back is your level of willingness to see beyond the words in front of you. As long as you're able to sort through all of the mindless crap that's out there, the world becomes an all-star greatest hits compilation rife for mental deconstruction. But maybe- just maybe- we're only meant to sit back, listen, and enjoy...without saying a word.
BCF PROMPT: "As a sentient adult, you are very aware that life is not a bowl of cherries or a paper moon. So what is it? Pick a metaphor filling in this statement: LIFE IS JUST A_________________."
Hold up...I actually have to look up what "sentient" means. Ok, yeah, I guess I'm that. And I think I should offer this as a fair warning: anyone who says this regarding life runs the risk of getting curb-stomped American History X style.
Life just is. It's a gamble, a crapshoot, a fallacy. It only takes but one turn to find yourself in the very opposite situation you're in today. You just...you don't know, and most times it's out of your hands. Life is for living...no time to be void, or save up on life; you gotta spend it all.
But if I'm gonna play along nicely with the prompt, I'd have to say life is just an excuse. We're here for whatever reasons, and things happen...well, that's life. Y'all can't tell me more than the basics about how we came about, yet we blame everything on it. Car died? That's life. Lost your job? That's life. Spouse cheated on you with the mailman? That's life. Fuck man, if that's life, why do we even bother? It ain't like anyone ever says "Got a raise...that's life!" or "Welcome to our new house...that's life!" Naw man...that don't happen. Everything that gets torched seems to earn that particular epitaph. We're a society of people that can't appreciate the basics without also reveling in our discomforts and disappointments...we need to feel like we're as human as the next person, and the only way to do that it seems is to one-up the minuses of those closest. Y'all hate those people, and I hate 'em too, but don't you tell me you've never been guilty of playin' up the "Oh, that's so sad, but here's how I had it worse" card. We tend to thrive on making others feel sympathetic toward us, like there's some magic cotton candy validation waiting for us at the end of the conversation. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred nobody gives a shit about your problems; chances are they're too wrapped up in their own...and what we are is just an escape. We're an ear and an example...but when the fat is boiled off the bone, we're just someone else's excuse.
Because we're never really sure, are we?
"You said you want it. You said you need it.
What you don't know is I know that you can't get it."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"If you had traffic signs in your house, your office, or any space you spend frequent time in what would they say? Would there be more than one?"
No frontin'...I once stole an NFTA metro bus sign on the way home from a friend's house when I was like 14. It was down on the ground, so I considered it fair game. They're a lot bigger in person than they are from looking up at them on random street corners. It was a bitch tryna shove that under my cheap letterman jacket, and when I got home my mom knew I was up to somethin'.
But the "6 Sycamore" sign went in my high school locker, a remnant of potential badassery in a life that seemed like every other bad decision had much worse consequences.
In reality though, in this day and age, I need a double-sided sign. "Yield" on the front, and "Do Not Enter" on the back. Don't try to talk to me when I'm crafting these words together that people seem to love...I don't want my flow interrupted and I'll likely have nothing of value to say in the impending conversation. On the other hand, I'm an open door willing to accept many different angles in a well-controlled fashion. I'm more than ok with a lot of stuff, and I speak my mind when I'm not. When there's a comfortable give-and-take, I'm accessible. I'm fair toward differing viewpoints. Don't be a dick about your position, have an open mind, and we'll chop it up. But if you stick me with propaganda, I'mma hafta shut your ass down. I don't have time for agendas. Straight up.
It's All-Star weekend apparently in the MLB, and I'm excited about the Midsummer Classic a little more than I think my Mets have a chance of making the playoffs. If you're a baseball fan, you'll appreciate this feature about all-star memories . If you're not a baseball fan, we'll have to reevaluate our friendship.
I think after all of that I'm blanked out. Maybe I need a nap, or just more nutrition physically and mentally. Tabasco-flavored Slim Jims aren't the answer, but coupled with pretzels and Bison French Onion chip dip, I think I'll be ok. Peace, eyes like x's and mouths like figure eights , and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "Reality TV. Go ahead, make fun of it. You know you want to. Also, list at least 3 humorous ideas for reality TV shows. For the overachievers, do more."
Hey yo...welcome back to a Funny Friday edition of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge" ! I used to get annoyed the last couple of months during Emily 's run as 30DBC host because people started complaining that Funny Friday and the entries it spawned weren't funny, and while I can sorta see the point, it kinda broke my heart a little because all I wanna do is be funny, and if I can't be funny then what have I got? I know a little about a lot of stuff, but I don't know every topic well enough to sound like I even know a smidgen of what I'm talking about, and the only proper workaround for me is to retaliate with some kind of comedic nonsense (which is sometimes comedic, and more often nonsense). And to the many detractors' credit, sometimes Funny Friday prompts haven't always led to truly funny responses. Talking seriously about humor doesn't equal comedy gold very often.
But I think we can all agree that reality television is the one thing in our society we can universally acknowledge as being unintentionally funny. We can laugh at its absurdity because for the most part it's ridiculous people doing bizarre and unimaginable things under the guise of "entertainment". It's ironic that rich people used to hire poor street performers for pennies on the dollar to provide some entertainment that they would later mock them for; now, it's all of us regular people mocking celebrities for attempting to do "real people" stuff and seeing them fail miserably, or watching one super rich person turn down other equally loaded suitors only to see his or her final relationship crumble in the tabloids, or rooting for average folk to not get their hopes and dreams shot down by people whose only virtue is that they somehow got lucky a decade or two earlier by discovering talent or being discovered while doing some inane chore like dishwashing or collecting garbage and moonlighting on weekends as a lounge singer for a paltry percentage of the bar's revenue plus tips.
Where would television programmers be today without reality television and the current crop of prime-time pseudo "game shows"? In decades like the sixties and seventies, you could count on contestants being "real people", but concepts dwindled along with the tightening of sponsorship budgets, and only a few long-time staples of that genre remain. Without Survivor, American Idol, and all the other nonsense we're being spoon-fed now, would we actually see more creative writing in sitcoms and televised dramas? Would eighties prime-time soap opera dramas like Dynasty, Dallas (the original and not the campy reboot) and Knots Landing still pull in ratings? Could other shows that may have been pushed aside in favor of fluff have captured our hearts and raised social consciousness the way Friends or All In The Family did? It's too bad that we'll never really know, given all of the research and development dollars we've wasted on colossal failures like Joe Millionaire and Wipeout. What we really need are some down-to-earth reality programs that everyone can relate to...and here's where I come in. Let's take three concepts (because I'm not feeling very overachiever-ish today...sorry, Jack-check out 7YS ) that may actually have some credence (if not big-money backing) that could appeal to a skeptical yet curious audience.
Who Wants To Be A Mayor? Interested candidates in small-ish towns would vie for the opportunity to become the big cheese in their little village. They would get some hands on, non-partisan training at the hands of the current mayor (who's agreed to step down or retire), and everyone would go through the day-to-day trials and tribulations of what it's like having to actually run something, free from bullshit politics (ie: the police department wants more freedom to be dicks; the school board wants to establish a prayer room). Contestants would run through a series of events, such as: who has the best garden, who actually participates in volunteer-based activities, and the Tap-Water Challenge, where the person who can drink the most municipal water in a 24-hour period will move on to the final public vote...which is only advertised via community newspapers (megacorp news groups are banned from promoting the proceedings) and consists of hanging a certain colored flag from a porch or a window. The winner then has to be a fucking mayor...not a pawn in political games, and not a figurehead, but an actual mayor, ruling the place like they're a god damn uncorrupted mayor.
Fast Food Olympics Teams assembled of teenagers, middle-aged divorced moms and stoner college dropouts compete in tasks like delivering fresh, hot french fries, filling orders with 100% accuracy during lunchtime rushes while pacifying those in need of extra ketchup packets and drink refills, and making food that looks exactly like the pictures on menu boards and commercials. The winning team gets an all-expense paid trip to Hamburger U , where they'll learn the finer arts of failing at life once and for all.
Role Reversal: Extreme Couponer Edition Y'all know 'em, and maybe you're one of 'em...those people who hoard coupons and wait for sales so they can buy tons of irrelevant everyday products for next-to-nothing. They shop like it's a job...and maybe if they had one they wouldn't need to feel like they have to purchase 27 bottles of shampoo, 86 cans of tuna fish, and 111 candy bars all at once. This show actually hires them at the stores they pilfer stock from, and puts them in the place of the employees they constantly inconvenience and piss off the most ("Do you have any more in the back? It was in your ad yesterday, and there was only eighteen smashed around as best they could fit on the shelf that's only supposed to hold six."). There they get to see how it is the retail half of their affliction lives...having to scan all the coupons in the correct order to come up to a number that only is attainable in the jaded consumer's head, and doing so in a fashion that "keeps the line moving" and "being cheerful" while answering the phone and trying to take care of the tasks an already taxed management staff expects you'll complete in a timely fashion. There are no winners here. At best, the retail world will lose another potential headache, and someone will realize that the overall aggravation just isn't worth it.
But for my money, as much as I absolutely can't stand television and reality tv to begin with, I'd go all-in on a 30-Day Blog House, like I alluded to in "This one's about science, a sentence, and a lesson." . Put me, Charrr 🌈 , Mitchopolis , Brother Nature , Lyn , Julie D - PUBLISHED! , Gaby , Prosperous Snow , Jess- 2020 Vision , and a few of you others in a house during an official round of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge" , add some cameras, and get us to talk about blogging and life in that house while our man 30DBC Creator/Founder hosts/officiates and provides some prompts and other curiosities. Maybe Wordsmitty ✍️ can oversee. We can get some visits from pinkbarbie, LostGhost: Seeking & Learning , and Elle . lizco252 can be the house DJ. Jeff could handle the made-for-tv aspect. I'd watch that happen. Y'all would too. We'd be really real, or something. Maybe being in a reality show would change my perception of them. I know if I felt like it was something I could relate to, I'd at least be interested in watching one.
BCF PROMPT: "Have you ever been in a situation where someone doubted you and you proved them wrong? Tell us about it."
GAH!! I'm supposed to be intimidated by the "Blogging Circle of Friends " 's opening caveat, WARNING: BLOGGER BEWARE! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN ON DAY 600. Like y'all are gonna scare me...as if I have any shits left to give. For real...congrats to the BCOF for making it to 600...it's not like I knew you wouldn't. I'm just glad you didn't go down with Cindy-Cindy-Bo-Bindy, falling victim to the monopolization of blogging syndicates here on WDC (and if you think that's not a thing, y'all just don't know how weird things have been with some people in charge of certain activities and the pull others wanted to have). But I don't care about that. Last time I checked, this here blog was only about me-things...my blog fam is cool, and I love this place but it's not gonna interfere with my life at all. Call me borderline WDC-dependent.
My whole life has been a series of being doubted and then proving people wrong. Really. Doubt me and I find a way...at least when it comes to my successes and not my self-esteem issues. Picked last in gym class? I was willing to do what others wouldn't and became good at it. I'm not smart enough for the smart kid classes? Yeah I am, and I accepted no less in high school (most of the time). Demoted from a job because of a customer complaint that was out of my control...the day before I was to start my vacation so I could move to another apartment (a vacation I'd already been denied of), and then vindicated because I made the best of a bad situation? There's a long list of shit I've had to wade through constantly to clear my name from.
Don't you ever assume...you never know what's behind these eyes, and you can't possibly see what a person has been through based on appearance. As the realization gets realer regarding my going back to school in late August, I'm sure I'll run into a new crop of sheep who think I'm useless and can't do anything for myself. And I'm a lazy motherfucker, but I'll be damned if I let some little punk-ass kid call me that...I've probably puked up more expectations when I was five or...or...yeah...
Don't fuck with that guy. He knows.
I'm a big ol' bowl of how you like me now wrapped in a crispy candy center, but I'm pretty over the failings of those before me. I've been fortunate enough to make my mark in the grown-up world wherever I've been, making enough people eat shit along the way. But I'll tell you what...as tiring as it gets at times, I'd rather keep proving myself and forcing success than settling for dealing with wondering why I'm always coming up short in someone else's mind. I don't have time to waste on consciously stickin' it to too many people, and the energy that something like that takes isn't worth the satisfaction. Either you're with me or you're against me...and thanks for being a part of the ride if you're here. If not, well, peace out bitches.
You can't front on MistaChuck droppin' what's real on yo ass.
"Grown folks doin anything to be some known folks."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?"
I have a habit of thinking in scattershot terms, so being spontaneous is great but also fleeting because it's not always memorable. Or, I do a lot off off-the-cuff stuff I'd rather forget.
Long-time readers (circa 199x may remember from my early days in the blogging world my references to Cool Shit Nicole...a girl I'd dated for a few months and then mutually decided to part ways amicably only to remain friends with and hoped I'd refer to her as "Cool Shit Nicole".
While we were boyfriend/girlfriend, her dad gave us tickets to a Sabres game for her birthday. It happened to be "Elvis Night" at what was then known as HSBC Arena. For the record, I am not an Elvis fan. We sat through some shoddy impersonators during the intermissions, and after the Sabres beat the Montreal Canadiens we made our way toward the exit like the rest of the crowd.
Being the silly bastard in love that I was, on the way out with the herded masses I overheard the PA system playing "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You". I dragged my girlfriend, Cool Shit Nicole, off to the side and into an aisle entrance for an impromptu slow dance away from the crowd. To complete the "Awww!" moment, the next morning when she came over I left little notes directing her to my stereo, where I had this cued up.
We almost died in the snowstorm on the way home from that game, but I inadvertently saved our lives in the panic of nearly sliding into a tree when I flinched so hard I knocked the Pontiac Sunfire's gearshift into neutral and slowed our uncontrolled skid into a harmless slide that stopped inches short of the tree. I think we had crazy great "OMFG we just survived that" sex the following morning, as opposed to the "Awww, you just slow-danced me in public" kind of anti-sex shaming that some girls might've sprung.
Happy French Connection Day!
Alright well, I'm kinda gassed from the space bar not really working for this entry ("compressed air" my ass) and I'm sick of backspacin'. Peace, how low can we go, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
|30DBC PROMPT: "In the modern era, do you think libraries have lost their relevance? Do you have any special library moments that you remember?"
'Sup y'all? Nothin'...I say, nothin' like startin' out a blog entry with a good ol' Opinion Thursday piece, where there can be no right or wrong answers. Everyone's entitled to believe what they want and have the forum with which to say it in, and you're not incorrect for agreeing, disagreeing, or feeling indifferent.
Personally, I'm a fan of libraries...most of the time. I appreciate the notion behind them; usually they're some sort of public/taxpayer-funded operation that seeks to instill a love of reading in a child and provide a solid base of resources for teenagers and adults. I started writing my first blog ("I'm Studying You" ) at a library...it originated as a detailed account of the summer before I started dating my ex, when I'd wake up, go to the store she was working at, flirt with her, and then blog about how chickenshit I was to not ask her out on a date. I worked in my elementary school's library in 4th grade, and in my high school's as a senior. I guess you could say libraries hold a special place in my heart.
Or should I say "well-run libraries"? Because I've got nothin' but animosity for the library in Cortland, and it's been that way pretty much since day one of me being here (see "This one's about the limit. Part 1." and "This one's about the limit. Part 2." )...which sort of leads me indirectly to today's prompt. I don't think libraries have lost their relevance, but I do think that if library systems aren't maintained and/or can't keep up to date with technology and trends, you'll start to see a gap develop between areas with exceptional libraries and areas with substandard libraries.
They're not just places to go to read a magazine or a newspaper, or check out a book. They're also internet hot spots, places of gathering, a venue for continuing education, and so many other things. Lots of libraries have crowded, busy-looking bulletin boards...have you ever taken the time to actually see what's posted on them? It's not just info regarding a lost dog or someone trying to sell a cheap car...maybe you need your GED, or English As A Second Language classes. There could be all sorts of useful community events going on, and the library's doing its part to keep you informed.
But like I said...if all a library wants to do is open its doors and wait for people to borrow books, it's gonna have a hard time getting by in the 21st century. As people increasingly turn to technology in all facets of life, the modern library has to adapt to its patrons' needs. Having a selection of titles available for e-readers isn't enough; if your computer-illiterate grandmother bought herself a Kindle because she no longer wishes to carry around a heavy book, but you're too far away to show her how to use it, wouldn't it be great if someone at the library (where she might be going to use a computer anyway) could help her out? Offering classes on different kinds of technology is just one way a library can keep up with and engage the community, and for all the times I've bitched about the Cortland library, I do have to say that's one area they excel in.
As for special library moments? I'm not sure. Getting my feet wet in blogging maybe? Does that count? I've probably written at least a third of my entire blog catalog in one library or another, but I'm usually tryna mind my own business when I'm out in public like that. I guess libraries just always felt like some magical place that held a lot of knowledge and truth and adventure, and that's kinda special in its own way.
BCF PROMPT: "Assuming that the legalization of marijuana and gay marriage are the 'hot-button' issues of our current time, what do you think the next hot-button social issues will be and why?"
It's hard to say, because there are so many other things going on right now as well...gun control, wars abroad, the immigration thing, etc. You're also gonna have the consequences (if you can call it that) from the legalization of pot in Colorado and Washington...the other 48 states are paying attention to their successes and failures, which will determine how they'll choose to act down the road. That may just turn out to be a hot-button issue that sticks around a lot longer and will take more adapting to than the legalization of gay marriage, or any other topic taking up real estate on the front pages of newspapers.
I almost wanted to say having a female president would be a big, polarizing issue...but after thinking about it for a moment I'm not so sure. The next presidential election will be in 2016, meaning we're over two years out still. Candidates don't really start shaking out until about 18 months beforehand. And if a woman is running, it'll be a gigantic story...until the election's over. If she wins, the focus will shift to her acclimation to the White House; lose and she'll basically be a trivia question after a few weeks (and I don't mean that at all to sound harsh or judgmental...I just think that a few months after the election the media's focus will be on more pressing matters concerning national and international affairs, and not on what the runner-up's up to). Come 2020, same thing...we'll hear more about it then, but afterward the talk will subside. How many people, in 2014, are still referring to Obama as "our first black president", even though he's been in office now for almost six years? A lot less than those who were back in 2008 and 2009, I'm sure.
Barring any major international conflicts or epic scandals, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of major shake-up in the FDA regarding labeling of food products and the ingredients used to make them. There's a huge push to limit/ban the use of GMO's, and I think as more consumers trend toward organic and home-grown options, you'll see companies start to shift their practices. Of course, this will also cause changes in the cost of doing business, and it wouldn't shock me to see bigger companies try to gouge the average shopper by charging a premium for 100% all-natural ingredients, pitting those willing to pay more for a healthier alternative versus those on a fixed or limited income who are forced to buy cheaper items while running a higher risk of the after-affects associated with GMO-laden foods. It also wouldn't surprise me if some of the larger food manufacturers split up into even smaller branches, for the purpose of offering a wider variety of products with varying degrees of nutritional toxicity at multiple price points, which could force the FDA into becoming for food what the NSA is now to privacy. And it won't be the American people who benefit from this...it'll be the supermarket chains that need to get bigger and bigger, and the real estate developers who will be willing to accommodate them by pushing them into communities that will offer sufficient tax breaks. It'd become the 21st century version of being careful what you wished for, because maybe it's not as cost-efficient and beneficial to the population as we were originally hoping it'd be; instead, we might be healthier, but at what other cost?
Speculation regarding the future, as a pastime, has evolved so much in the last twenty years. No longer is there just blind emphasis on our dreams and what we envision, but there's also now a tangible thread that nearly everything's possible and will be available sooner rather than later...provided there are certain fragments of the population willing to make the necessary sacrifices of his or her personal time for what is perceived as "the greater good".
"In a city of the future it is difficult to concentrate."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"If you could have any author, living or dead write your biography, who would you choose?"
Ouch. Here's where I make a bit of a confession...I don't think I've read enough literature by the same author to say I prefer one's work over another's. Also, I've probably read as many autobiographies as I've read anything else, and each person probably can tell their own story much better than they'd be able to tell someone else's.
So basically what I'm lookin' at here is "pick an author, based on one book you've read of theirs, who can tell your story better than anyone else could, including you". Because if I had my way, I think I'd rather write my own biography, if you don't mind.
I know I wouldn't want one of those celebrity biographers...that seems too safe and mainstream. They probably have some kind of software now where all they have to do is plug in some details and quotes, and out comes 400 pages of mundane drivel intended for casual yet interested fans. No thanks. I want something for the die-hards and completists. Something with balls, that isn't afraid to take you out for a few drinks after stealing your girlfriend. The trouble is, who writes that way? All the authors I can think of that might, well, I'm not too familiar with their work.
I'd like to see what a poet could do...someone like Kerouac or Ginsberg, although perhaps my life at times would be more suited to the style of e.e. cummings or whoever writes the trash you see on greeting cards that are sent to you but kinda don't make sense. How great would that be? "I'll send you a copy of my autobiography!" and it's a fucking greeting card that's a mix of condolences and "thinking of you" sentiments with a picture of a crabby bastard wearing a funny hat on the front. The inside font would look like a kindergartener's scribbling, and you could smell the hot booze breath that accompanies my early- to mid-thirties. And it could be yours for the cost of a postage stamp!
"Congratulations, I'm sorry. 1975-present."
Here's another gem from the world of Gawker: A London art gallery removed a painting from its collection because an otherwise fully-clothed subject is showing a little too much pube. I understand it was originally positioned in an area where lots of children would be subjected to it...but they replaced the portrait with another artist's rendering of a fully nude woman. Is that not a little ass-backwards?
So the work thing at Capco is going well...my coworkers say nice things about me to my supervisors and apparently I come up with good ideas. Why can't this be a real job?? Mon.-Fri, 8 hrs./day with benefits and paid vacations? I could handle that. I wouldn't even ask for a really huge salary...just enough to live slightly more comfortably.
Yup...the pre-physical therapy appointment anxiety for tomorrow is already kickin' in. If I didn't have to be in that general vicinity anyway at some point during the day, I'd strongly reconsider going. But I'mma tough it out...I'm not sure at this point if it's gonna be harder to deal with physically, or mentally. Just thinking about what might happen is making me nauseous, and I know I shouldn't and it won't be that bad, but that's how I am.
I finally got my first physical WDC awardicon today (thanks to Jess- 2020 Vision )...and it's such a cool little thing! I really didn't know what to expect, but it's certainly more meaningful having something you can hold than just going on a website and looking at a 2-D icon (not that I'm complaining about non-physical awardicons...those are always just as special). When WDC first rolled out merit badges and awardicons many years ago, I think having physical versions of them was something a lot of us thought of at one time or another and figured, "Maybe in the future, when everything's gonna be more awesome!" and then we kinda forgot about it. Oh, what next, mighty WDC?
And just like that, we've reached the end of another entry. Thanks for playin' along...peace, everyone is made for life, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!
The hot-button revolution should now be televised.
|30DBC PROMPT: "The most disgusting moment/incident/day in your life."
What's up y'all? I have to say, out of all the prompts I've ever been a part of in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge" , this one hands down has the potential to be the most disturbing of them all...and I've been through a bunch of these competitions. I mean that on the whole of all the competitors; I'm not basing my opinion on how I think this particular entry is gonna turn out.
See, I've never had kids, nor have I ever had to deal with an incontinent family member, so my pool of disgusting incidents from which I could draw from is severely limited. And while I'm certain I've had my fair share of unsightly experiences, it's safe to assume I've been repressing those memories from the moment the cleanup was complete. The times I can recall though, as gross as they might be, probably don't qualify as "most disgusting" (but then again, one man's ceiling is another man's floor).
I've inadvertently peed on a coworker once who happened to be wearing shorts (we were barhopping downtown several years ago, and I stopped in an alley to do my thang...he was following me, didn't realize what I was doing, and walked right through the stream). There was that night after bowling that I got so hammered I threw up on the bar (and then had the audacity to attempt ordering another beer). Getting caught in the mosh pit the first time I saw Pearl Jam led to me being covered, head to toe, in dirt (it was also up my nose, my teeth were coated, and there was a decent amount of pit dust in my butt crack). But there's a common denominator to all of these situations...they happened when I was around people I knew and was comfortable with, and chances are they've gone through similar unfortunate circumstances.
Once you break out of the social circle and into the general population though, all of those moments of shame are thoroughly disgusting. It's bad enough sometimes, having worked in retail for so long, that you have to touch people and you don't know where they've been. I've handled money that came out of a sweaty white trash scumbag mom's bra, and sold beer to the old drunk that lived around the corner who came in twice a day for a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best with a ring of piss staining his jeans. There are certain things you do because you're on the clock and there's no quick way out...and while there are laws in place to protect cashiers in specific situations, all the corporate office really cares about is if the money made it into the till or not. Example: the old guy who pissed his pants wanting to buy more beer. Sure, we could've denied him because he was "potentially intoxicated", but all he has to do is complain to corporate that he was mistreated, and they'll reprimand the store while firing off a $25 gift card for hurting this poor sot's feelings...true story. But I digress.
The most disgusting thing to me, and you take this chance every day that you work in a store with a public restroom, is a stranger's vomit or shit. I draw the line there. I can handle my own, and I can be sympathetic enough to deal with a sick friend...but fuck that. I refuse to clean up someone else's mess. Look, I know accidents can happen, and it's embarrassing no doubt to the person it happened to, but please don't try to defend this to me with statements like "Well, they couldn't hold it" or "it happens so fast" because frankly, I don't want to hear it.
And the worst part of it is when people miss the toilet. No, hold up- I take that back. It's the a-holes who manage to get poop on the walls, the door of the stall, the top of the toilet, the sink, and anywhere but the toilet. How does that even happen? Never mind; I don't wanna know. Or the dude who shits his drawers and leaves his soiled boxers crumpled in a fecal ball on the floor next to the garbage can...that's attractive. I've seen this way too many times...it's real. Hell, at the Walgreens I used to work at we technically didn't have a public restroom...it was for employees only and it was locked. But that changed in one week when we had a run (no pun intended) of senior citizens crapping their pants in or around the pharmacy waiting area. Sure, in theory you'd think the "old guy who crapped his pants" story would come up once in a blue moon, but not in places I've worked. We'd been lucky at times to go a month or two without someone blowing up the john or fingerpainting with poop. And it's never a simple little turd laying across the seat, but a mural made of three days' worth of Taco Tuesdays. Remember those old game shows where you'd step into a booth that would blow money around, and you won all the cash you could grab in a certain amount of time? Picture that, but swap out the bills for semi-soft doo-doo butter. When someone's ass goes wrong, there's no middle ground...it's extreme, and it's everywhere.
The part I really don't get though is this: why are most public restrooms you go to in stores, restaurants and malls colored in a mostly white, cream, or yellow decor? You know, hues that really make the dookie stand out? It serves no purpose, having hospital-white walls in facilities that the average consumer doesn't have to clean. Makes no sense to me. You wouldn't put down white floor mats in a car, and you know those are gonna take a lot of abuse, so why would you build something that services thousands more people,with potentially filthier problems, and do it up nice and bright and shiny? At least in bathrooms with warm, earthy tones, it's not blatantly obvious that someone tried using the wall to wipe his ass while he was still in the process of completing the transaction.
Y'all know that I'm pretty much a live-and-let-live type of brotha, but this is one troubling pattern of behavior that needs to stop, like, yesterday. You'll notice I never attached a specific date or time frame to this entry...every day you have to clean up after someone's disastrous bathroom bombing is automatically the worst, most disgusting day of your life.
BCF PROMPT: "Look out a window and write a story or poem about what you see."
I don't have a great view from my window...I live about halfway back on the second floor of my building, which gives me a great view of the diner next door's employee parking lot. My view of the intersection is partially obscured by the large student housing on the other side of the diner, though I can see the giant clock on the building kitty-corner from me. I can't see the CVS across the street, but I can see the sign for Macho Burger, which kinda sounds like a cool name for a chain of restaurants (and it even has a funny mustache logo), but the building is kinda dumpy and they're hardly ever open...I can see their parking lot and there are never any cars there; not even employees. I'm kinda glad I don't like burgers much because I'd really hate to be in the mood for one bad enough to want to go there, only to find that they're open 11am-9pm Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and that's it.
And here's why that's frustrating to me. I can't plan meals, because I'll never know what I'm in the mood for until I'm hungry. I'm very picky like that. Today was a rare day for me in that I was off work, had no other appointments or places to be, and sorta felt like leaving the house. I knew I should probably grocery shop, and I figured maybe doing that would stimulate the appetite I haven't had since last week. I got dressed, made my way to the bus stop, got sassed by a crippled old lady who thought I was rushing her to take a seat (I wasn't, I was just mentally preoccupied), and set out thinking I might have a half of a turkey sub, or maybe a wrap. But it didn't happen. Halfway there, traffic on Rte. 281 was backed up more than normal, and signals were out. We got to the grocery store, and it turns out there was no power in the surrounding areas. The store itself was pitch black (and running on limited generators, I assume)...so basically I wasted a trip out for nothing. I could've waited around the store to see if the electricity would come back on in a reasonable amount of time, but without a guarantee I can't just sit around hopin'. I stayed on the bus, went back home, and stopped at CVS for some snacky stuff. Whatever...at least I kinda managed to get some sort of food-like substances in my system (if a Slim Jim, some Club crackers with spray cheese, and pistachios count as food-like).
I wish I had something more exciting to add, but my neighborhood's kinda boring from my physical view. I can't even see the anti-war hippies and burnouts that congregate every Saturday morning at the corner, waving their "Honk For Peace!" and "Bring The Troops Home" signs. I usually forget about them until it's too late, and as I'm laying in bed I'm wondering why I keep hearing so many car horns blasting. I swear they've been there since Vietnam, and I've only lived here for a year and a half.
I really didn't feel like looking up a song about defecation, so you get this instead.
"Well, we've got the land but they've got the view...
If it takes shit to make bliss then I feel pretty blissfully."
THE DAILY BOX SCORE:
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
Sure, I guess so. Obviously we don't come back as the same thing, and maybe we don't come back in any kind of living form, but I guess it could be possible that we revisit this planet as an object that's inanimate toward humans.
Wow. I don't have a moment like this very often, but as I was saying that sentence above to myself while typing it, I just realized how absolutely ridiculous it sounds. And normally I'd just delete it and try again, but I've got nothin' else goin' on for this discussion. You can't be dead and come back as a dead version of you, because you'd be a ghost and I really don't think there's such a thing (and if you do, please don't tell me about it...you've got a blog; use it , and if you don't have a blog, go get yourself one and talk it up 'til your heart's content over there). And you don't die and come back as yourself, because death's a finite thing. So maybe I'm not down with reincarnation after all. I mean, no one's really had to have this conversation with anyone before, right?
TEASER ALERT!! I literally took a thirty second break from bangin' this entry out, and stumbled across this:
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Coming August 1st, 2014.
50: Guess who turns the big 5-0 today? The one and only Courtney Love! And if you ever needed proof that she's batshit crazy (or already know and want a reminder), there's this list of 50 Quotes About Courtney Love . My favorite, from Russell Simmons: "I think she is a sweet girl. It's probably exciting to be a crackhead."
You know I love it when my hometown gets some Buffalove from national media...and today HuffPo ran a great article featuring 20 reasons to visit Buffalo. From food to cultural attractions and architecture, it's really a cool ass city.
And from one of my favorite sites, Gawker: The GOP is trying to reach out to young voters by offering ".gop" domain names that anyone can purchase...of course, it's already gone hilariously wrong. I suggest, if you appreciate that kind of humor, you head over to the Tumblr page now dedicated to the, ahem, cause, where there's more chicanery of the sort happening.
I think I've about said all I need to say this evening, so I'm gonna poke around the scene here on WDC for a little bit before I try to capitalize on the full, uninterrupted night of sleep I had last night- two in a row is a streak- and do that work thing all day at Capco tomorrow. Peace, it feels pretty soft, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!