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A third attempt at this blogging business.
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - See you in March!



After 380 entries and over 17,600 views, it was time to retire "Who Do I Think I Am??. Expect more of the same shenanigans and troublemaking you've come to know and love from me over the last few years. Tell all your friends, warn your family and hide this from your neighbors...this isn't your average blog. *Wink*

A Paint reflection.

A fair warning.

Blogging Bliss Newsletter Forum  (E)
Discussion of ideas and suggestions about blogs and the Blogging Bliss newsletter
#1911857 by Wordsmitty ✍️

Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!
*Peace2* *Heart* *Delight*

Continue along on my journey over at "Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am.
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June 28, 2014 at 12:04am
June 28, 2014 at 12:04am
30DBC PROMPT: "Where do you find solace? Is it through a quote or by some other means? Take this anywhere you want and be creative.", courtesy of Prosperous Snow .

Hey folks! It's Friday, meaning we've survived another week and managed to save enough energy to talk about it...unless you're me and are lacking the motivation to accomplish anything more than the bare minimum for the rest of the weekend. Yup...it's been one of those "let's see how much stuff we can blow off" kinda days.

But that's good, because it means I can complain a little bit with a fresh summer weekend to back me up. How many of y'all just wanna kick back this Saturday and Sunday and not do a damn thing? That's what I thought...and the rest of you are liars!! The only thing is...I don't really have anything to stop me from gettin' my nothin' on.

And that leads me in a roundabout way to finding solace. Now, just because I don't get all worked up externally about the times that life has decided to hit me with a taser, that doesn't mean I'm not dealing with the pain internally. I find that there's way too many people walking this planet who want you to care about their problems, but forgot who you are when the opportunity for reciprocation presents itself. Funny how society works, especially when you're the kind of person who gets caught pretending to care often enough that you eventually find yourself caring too much   about situations you probably should've stayed as far away from as possible in the first place.

That's not to say I regret helping people out in the past, even when they've turned around and it's bitten me in the ass. I take comfort in knowing I try to do the right thing by people, and I'm very aware that it could just as easily be me in their kicks. It sounds so cliché, but everybody goes through struggles and needs a hand once in awhile (that wasn't what I was gonna say, but I took a sip of water and totally forgot where I was goin' with that sentence...if it happens again, I'm banning the practice of drinking water when I write). Ah yes, solace...yeah, no matter what you're going through, chances are someone's always got it worse off than you. I know that what I say should apply to me too, and I get that it's not always easy to understand, because we see our problems on a 24/7 basis and with more scrutiny than, say, a coworker or a teacher would. It's hard to put aside what we're going through long enough to try and help somebody else, but sometimes helping out others is the best way to fix some of the things that are broken with us. And the rest of the stuff that isn't taken care of right away? Hopefully there's enough karma saved up that your troubles are never as bad as they first appear to be.

BCF PROMPT: "For vacations, do you prefer middle-of-nowhere or urban areas?"

It depends...where do I wanna go? I've stayed in some decent cities, but I've also had the "get out in the middle of nowhere" trips, and as long as you're not punchin' a clock, both have their merits. I think another thing to consider is this: is your primary reason for going away so you can visit someone, or are you merely sightseeing in a less-familiar location? That's huge, especially if you're staying with the people you're visiting...you're not just on your own time; you're as much on someone else's schedule as your hosts are dealing with someone else using their bathroom in the morning.

Since I prefer things like minimal confrontation and the desire not to put anyone out, I guess that means I'd rather be in the middle of what's "nowhere" to me...somewhere that I've never been to, but that has the ability to be explored. Mainly because I need certain amenities like running water, electricity, wifi and decent restaurants to eat at, and if I'm travelling by myself then going out into the middle of "true nowhere" is pretty much asking to end up as the victim of a serial killer. If you're lost in an area where nobody knows you're lost, I think that means nobody can find you. That's like a dead zone of wilderness; the fell-through-the-cracks scenario of not knowing where you are in an area that most of the rest of the population considers "nowhere". At least if you get lost in an urban area and somebody tries to jack you for your wallet, you can try to ask the masked bandit where the nearest Starbucks is, and he might tell you (if you're in an urban setting of lesser hostilities and moderate manners). In the wild, you know you're screwed when the animals and foliage start shrugging back at you.


Rest in peace to a musical legend, Mr. Bobby Womack.


Blog City image small

*Trophyb* "Third time is the charm. What does that mean to you? Tell us about one of those times."

It means I'm the charm, yo. I share the exact same name as my father and his father, making me the guy who signs his name with the Roman numeral for 3. Sure, like most of you there were others before me but there'll never be another one quite like me afterwards...and no, there will not be a fourth (if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that, I probably could've biologically engineered a me of your own that you could christen anything you damn well please).

There are many different ways of thinking and looking at this prompt, but good things come in threes (in my opinion). Except feet. There's problems if ya got three feet. How many things do you know of that are sold by the dozen, or in a thirty-day supply? Twelve and thirty are both multiples of three. Nirvana was a three-piece band, as was Run-DMC. Christmas has the Three Wise Men, and three outs ends a half-inning in baseball. This blog I'm appearing at you in happens to be my third on WDC. What isn't the number three good for?

You might be waiting for me to tell you.

Nobody remembers who came in third place, or prefers being the "third wheel" on a date. I've had three different surgical procedures on my left ankle, and now the longest I can walk without pain is about three blocks. I played third base for less than one inning of freshman baseball in high school...and I made three straight errors on balls hit to me. Most of the popular movies made in the seventies, eighties and nineties that warranted a second sequel (thereby making it the third movie in the franchise) were terrible (except for Rocky III...that was pretty bad-ass).

So what does it all mean? Numbers are arbitrary when using them to judge something. Except me. I may be Norb #3 on the family tree, but (well, unless you know other Norbs, which is a possibility I guess), I'll always be the #1 Norb to you. *Wink*

*Boxcheck* I've been meaning to post this link all week about the real reason for the 40-hour workweek  , but I've kept forgetting...further proof that the odds are usually stacked against you unless you can find something you love doing, in which case you'll never have to "work" a day in your life.

*Bookstack2* I shouldn't say I've lacked motivation the entire day...I did manage to go down to turn in my old college transcript (finally) at the college I applied at (although there might be concerns that it won't be considered an "official" copy because the program that helped me obtain it had to unseal it in order to mark it as "received" on their end). That means I'm one step closer to going back to school in the fall. If all goes well and there's no flap over the "officialness" of my less-than-stellar community college grades from twenty years ago, I should be able to register for classes around the second week of July. And what's even better is the local extension of the school I'd be attending is only two blocks away (as opposed to a 25-minute bus ride)...and according to the schedule they had posted near their entrance, it's possible some of my classes could be held there this year. That would very much be ideal, especially in the winter.

And just like that, we're at the end of another entry...I think I'm gonna skip out on trying to catch up on all the things I meant to do this afternoon and cash in my tired eyes for hopefully some meaningful rest with the idea that I'll be able to tackle everything I've got lined up for the rest of the weekend during the day tomorrow. That includes making some selections for this coming month's Blogging Bliss newsletter, which is coming out on Monday (so you should probably subscribe to it now if you haven't already...ask me how and I'll show you the way)...I was supposed to do that today and by the time I realized it I nearly shut off my laptop and declared today over by a landslide. I'll knock that out as part of the first thing I do tomorrow. Anything else? I don't know...it's bedtime for this kid. Peace, this love is electric, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 27, 2014 at 12:01am
June 27, 2014 at 12:01am
30DBC PROMPT: "Odds are we're going to be... (Take this in any direction your twisted little minds dictate.)", courtesy of the diabolical Mitchopolis .

What up blog fam? Tell me, how awesome was it that you could wake up this morning and have a prompt waiting for you? Were you shocked or surprised? I almost couldn't believe it...but since I went on a bender two nights ago about how that particular topic makes me feel, allow me to continue writing an entry (now standard with automatic anti-idiot guard...see toward the bottom of this post for details) that's relevant to what's going on today in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge.

Odds are we're going to be...here a lot longer than we planned, taking in things we weren't sure at first we wanted to know, while straddling the line between amazing and absurd. That's how this thing tends to work most of the time.

Sometimes, you can get a prompt with all the live-long day left to spare, and you still won't be able to do much with it. I've been dawdling for over an hour (damn...nearly two) trying to come up with just a frickin' line to complete the opening sentence...and now I feel like that's not enough; there should be something more going on to accompany it. And that's when my brain goes into shutdown mode, because I'm not a fiction writer...plus it's been quite awhile where I've been in a situation that the retelling of it requires you to start off with something like "Someday we'll look back at <embarrassing moment here> and laugh!" or "Wanna bet that once we they catch us we'll <insert harsh description of what they do to guys like us in prison>?" It's a lot harder than it looks, especially when your memory doesn't wanna cooperate.

And I guess it's true what people have said about this patch of interweb soul on occasion...you're never really sure about what you're gonna get outta me once you've committed to clicking whatever link takes your eyeballs to my words strewn across the electronic device of your choosing. Today, for instance, I'm pretty sure this part of the entry will leave you with a vague sense of emptiness...a joke without a punchline, or a firecracker that doesn't pop. You know there's something there, but you can't coax it out from the cloud(s). You might even wonder if something is wrong, or if I'm sick, because there doesn't seem to be any laughter generated from the reading of these lines. Maybe you'll read it again, hoping I left out a critical detail...or you'll just stare, doe-eyed and confused, because your world has become shaken with the reality that this isn't the hilarity that typically ensues when you and I lock and engage in the blogger/reader relationship. And if your life depended on it, you'd continue to gaze while expecting answers or miracles or unicorns to magically appear in front of you to tell you that everything's gonna be ok eventually. This may happen sooner for some than it does others; that's normal depending on how normal (or not) you are...and when it does, it's like flipping the ahhh...aha! switch. Laughter suddenly reappears in your cheeks as you realize it is not I who makes you laugh, but your level of tolerance and patience that allows you to enjoy awkward humor such as what I'm layin' down right about now.

BCF PROMPT: "Funniest thing you have seen recently."

My sample size regarding hilarious things is very limited, because I generally prefer not to deal with the public unless I absolutely have to. Unfortunately, part of my job at Capco is, in fact, dealing with a subset of people who are cursed with the gift of unintentional comedy: the lesser fortunate. [Full disclosure: since I am, for the time being, also one of the "lesser fortunate" as well, it's totally acceptable for me to make fun of them...after all, these are my people now, as I am now one of them.]

I'm sure if you really tried hard enough you could find some kind of statistics somewhere that tie together people of low incomes with instances of higher rates of obesity...hell, I've probably put on somewhere between 20-30 pounds in the last year and a half of being unable to work gainfully (although I'm sure shredding a joint may have also played into both the joblessness and the poundage). People with less money eat poorer quality food. People with shitty diets get fat. Fat people...aren't as healthy. Keep all this in mind while I take you on a diversion.

At Capco, once a week we have a couple of the "sisters" (not relatives with the same parents, but sisters in a holy sense) come by to volunteer for a few hours. They're Mormon...like, Super Mormon (not that there's anything wrong with that). I know this because one of them offered very plainly the other day to teach me about the Mormon Gospel of Jesus Christ, and looking back on that moment I feel kinda bad, because I immediately refused her snottily without a second thought, as if to say "I'm quite fine sailing on a flat world, Mr. Columbus, but you go ahead and try floating your boat on a round one, and when you find yourself running out of water and falling off the edge, I'll not say I told you so! *Smirk*" I really didn't mean to sound like that, but I also didn't expect to be propositioned biblically either. But they're sweet girls who have big hearts and mean well (and lord have mercy, but what happened to the really hot one that used to volunteer back in March??)...it's too bad that they're stuck working with me as I'm slowly getting my human interaction skills back to a comfortable level.

Anyway, we have some outfits displayed on our walls (remember, we're a donation center, so obviously we're not dealing with a lot of high-end fashion), and it was time to replace some that had been claimed earlier in the day. One of the sisters grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and said, "How about something like this? It's fun and sporty!" I don't know what came over me, but as soon as she said it I looked at her and very curtly said, "Have you seen the people that come in here? Nothing about them suggests 'sporty'". Her partner started laughing. My other "regular" coworker was nearly hysterical. I thought the sister was gonna cry tears of absolute realization that Jesus couldn't save her from the wrath of my bitter tongue. I probably should've apologized...but I've said and done a whole lot worse to higher-ranking religious officials without flinching, so why change now? My ticket to the less-desirable afterlife was punched a hell of a long time ago.

I realize that many of you will not find this story to be anything close to funny, but understand it from my perspective based on what you know about me from however many entries of mine you've read so far, multiplied by me not getting out much. I have to take shots when they're presented to me, or else I wither into an anti-social ball of pocket lint that resembles a shell of the hatred toward all the dumb things in society. If I don't make mildly abrasive comments in the moment toward unsuspecting people, there's a good chance that I could melt, and if that happens, then there's no blog. And while the world may be a happier place in the short term, y'all know that obvious moment will happen where you're gonna say (probably out loud and perhaps unfortunately, among certain company), "Norb would've had a field day with you if he were here right now and [saw what you just did/heard what you just said...reader's choice]".


No really...do you know what they do to guys like us in prison?


Blog City image small

*Bookopen* "Take the first sentence from your favorite book and make it the first sentence of your blog entry."

According to American Book Review's Top 100 Best First Lines From Novels  , mine would of course have to be one of the longest and most ridiculous openers: "If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth." -J.D. Salinger, The Catcher In The Rye.

That sounds more like a biographical sketch and a fiery opening salvo, which I suppose it could be at times, than the start of a blog entry. I'm sure had I grown up in an era similar to Holden Caulfield's, our paths may have had its similarities; our attitudes often share some likeness. It's been about ten years since I last read this book, and I know I should read it again soon. I also know what doesn't feel like the book   or the time frame, but maybe that's just me not using critical thinking (which wouldn't be much of a stretch given that it's nearly an hour past my bedtime and I've been up since 8am). I'm sure most of you are probably at least somewhat familiar with this literary classic though, and if you're not it's not a tremendously challenging read, so I definitely recommend it. There aren't a ton of books I'm willing to stick my neck out for, and if you really needed more convincing, if I had a son I'd name him Holden Caulfield. What more would you like to know?

*Ribbonv* It's been a long time (I think) since someone's given me an awardicon for something other than a blog, so I want to sincerely (again) thank Jess- 2020 Vision for the sweet-lookin' ribbon that now sits atop "Police Lines. I think I'd forgotten about this little item, actually...it's a pretty simple set of minimal lyrics, but I'm honored that Jessica thought it stood out enough to be worthy of a ribbon. It'll never cease to amaze me when someone finds some kind of beauty or joy in something poetic-like of mine...it's definitely a humbling feeling.

*Trophyg* I also got an email the other day stating that I have a rather large gift certificate credit to "Leger's Shop...so I'm thinking it might be time to get a sig or two for use around the ol' main header of this blog. Not that I don't like this:

A Paint reflection.

but surely there has to be something a little nicer out there that is more reflective of my status as...ummm...I got nothin' here either. So I guess what I'm sayin' is I'm open to suggestions, which means this ought to be interesting.

*Dialog* And if you can believe it, I had almost an entire blog entry typed up last night before I spazzed out and started rockin' the refresh and back buttons on the totally incorrect Chrome tab, thereby erasing everything I'd worked on last night. I ain't even mad about it though (see: "Note: Gah! I just managed (again) to..."), because I was getting super tired and honestly, the entry wasn't all that great anyway. But I took LostGhost: Seeking & Learning 's advice and downloaded Lazarus   when I got home from work this afternoon- she says The SM has been talking about it a lot, but I don't recall hearing about it before last night. Anyway, I have it now and I'm hoping that of all the dumb things I can ever say or do, vapor-locking while maneuvering between tabs will no longer be a problem, and that I never even have to find out if it works or not. However, you and I both know that this world is far from ideal, so I'll probably know sooner rather than later that this Lazarus thing is legit and a life word-saver.

Well, that's all the time I have folks (no reason; I'm just done here for tonight). Looking forward to sleepin' in the next few days and not doing much of anything else. Peace, just not enough of this, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 24, 2014 at 10:16pm
June 24, 2014 at 10:16pm
30DBC PROMPT: "That's Not Funny, Music, and A Magic Pill, courtesy of Charrr 🌈 .

What's goin' on y'all? Today is a great day in the history of all non-official months of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge (at least in the last two years or so). Not gonna lie...the first thing I did after I came home from work and got settled this afternoon was open up the 30DBC forum to see what today's prompt was (because there wasn't one again last night before I went to sleep, and there still wasn't one before I left for work this morning). I saw that there was an entry written for today, but it wasn't authored by who I thought it would be by...and once I opened the link I said to myself, "See, someone gets it!"

Back in the old, old, old days, the "Follow Me" version of the 30DBC was nearly as popular as its hotter, sexier, prize-wielding cousin, otherwise known as the "Official Months". People took it seriously. They cared. And they respected their fellow challengers. When the schedule of prompts came out (and it was no different then than it is now), your entry- not your prompt, but your entry- was ready first thing in the morning, if not sooner, and usually no later than noon. And if something came up, you switched days with someone else...sorta like when you work in retail. If there's an emergency and you're not able to come in to work, you find someone that can cover your shift, and if you can't then it's up to the boss to pick up the slack. Now, I know this isn't work, and I get that it's supposed to be a fun practice activity, but (and trust me, my preferences on this matter are farther from this discussion than most others' are) to some people not having a prompt in a timely manner isn't just a minor inconvenience, but it also puts others who may reside in different areas of the world at a disadvantage...take for example the people who live in New Zealand, where they're in a perpetual tomorrow compared to me on the United States' east coast. I don't know the exact difference in hours, but say it's 3pm by me (which would also coincidentally be WDC time)...it's probably past some bedtimes over on the other side of the planet.

All I'm sayin' is have some consideration for the folks runnin' with ya each month (especially when it's a month where we're the ones supplying the prompts). Not to mention that it's kinda rude to leave a group of people hangin'...if you're not gonna be able to contribute your part, that's quite ok, as long as you let someone else know. I'm not sayin' this because I'm mad, but I'm a little frustrated (and I know I'm not the only one), and I respect everyone who has the courage to blog with some of the most talented people on WDC for thirty straight days and share in something that's specific only to the same group of people each month...we're unique compared to the group from February of 2011, and there won't be another cast of characters quite like us down the road.

Alright, I'm climbin' off my rocking chair now...so sorry not sorry to start off today's entry with a lecture. *Facepalm*

So my man Charlie found us a prompt and had the grapes to post it after a reasonable amount of time had passed..."If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill   — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?" He raises good points in his entry about it being cost-prohibitive and whether or not certain cravings could come into play, but I think there are some other things to consider as well.

I'd like to say no, and it's not just because I fear it would fall under consideration as a Genetically Modified Organism (or GMO, which I won't get into today but is a battle prompt itself if I've ever heard one before). Look y'all, I take enough pills as it is on a daily basis. Pills to wake up, pills to make me happy, pills to make me not wanna choke a fool, pills that make me dizzy, pills that keep me from falling over, pills to- is it to lower my cholesterol or my blood pressure? I don't even remember- and pills to make me sleepy...I don't need another pill.

Besides, last time I worked in a drug store, they actually already sold pills that provided all your daily nutrition. They're called multivitamins. And they're not meant to replace food, but I'm also not here to get all sciencey on you about that either because I'm not smart like that. I also don't know the history of food, or why some of it comes up from the ground, or whoever came up with the idea that certain parts of different animals taste better when you combine them with fire. No, friends. No.

The real vice here is twofold: flavor, and oral fixations. We want things that appeal to our sense of taste, while keeping all the mechanisms used in the process of that particular skill set satisfied. Taking a fancy, newfangled nutrition pill doesn't remedy what we're really looking to satiate. There is a big, juicy world full of sensations waiting to be indulged by all that your face can take. Your jaws long to be worked and stretched, your lips and tongue want to massage its feast, and you can bask in the filling delight of your throated glory. Perhaps a meager little pill can only simulate the tiniest of these pleasures, but to feel the greatest stimulation you must take in no substitutes. A thick, hearty diet should be the answer for appetites of all types.

BCF PROMPT: "Does music speak to you or is it just noise?"

*Laugh* "Or is it just noise?" *Laugh* Oh, this guy! "Turn that noise down! We're trying to do some real non-noise stuffs here!" *Left* Screw that guy good with a hot curling iron. Yeah.

Look, I get it. We all have our tastes, our likes and preferences, and whatnot. About everything. I like music. It's an art form (FYI Charrr 🌈 and Jess- 2020 Vision , my spell-check doesn't recognize "artform" as a word, so I hereby declare all spell-checkers invalid and communist). I don't get on Facebook and Twitter whenever Game Of Thrones or whatever the white trash real housewife flavor of the month's show is on and start rippin' shit like "historical inaccuracy" this and "oh no she diiii-iiiiint" that, so I'd prefer the same courtesy regarding a cultural medium I happen to enjoy even if you don't.

Case in point: I was friends with this guy on Facebook a few years back...we'd grown up a few streets away from each other, and we were both kinda losers, but we weren't friends, which is weird because usually losers hang in packs, but whatever. He's one of those people that you don't talk to for twenty years and you've forgotten about until he friend requests you, so you accept, and then he starts chatting you up as if he's your bestie and knows all your personal biz...he's one of the reasons I've disabled the Facebook chat feature.

So anyway, the day before a concert that my friends and I were going to, I changed my profile picture to the cover of the album that band would be playing the next night (it was a tour celebrating the 10th anniversary of their breakout album). Then I posted a video from that same album, with something like "Can't wait to see these guys tomorrow night!" or some other lame shit. My buddies all liked it, and we shared our enthusiasm in a very guy-ish way...until this guy comes along. He's like, "Those fags suck." And I lost it. I tore into him because 1) you don't call anyone a fag ever; 2) you're entitled to a respectful opinion, and it's ok to disagree with me, but come at me with something better than "fags suck"; and 3) trying to overemphasize your point by claiming the shit being passed off as "country music" these days is "so much better" and is "real music" (especially when you grew up ten minutes from the 'hood and probably still don't live all that far from it) just makes you sound real silly.

See, here's the thing. To paraphrase some famous quote from someone smarter than most of us (you can Google it if you want; I'm not inclined), "Those who can, do. Those who can't, mock and try to tear down those who can out of jealousy and the empty heartache in their own social life." I think it's great that people have certain abilities and are better than others at different things than we are. It takes all kinds to make this big ol' ball of Earth go 'round. I don't have any real musical talent (unless you consider playing Rockband on Xbox "musical talent"), but I have appreciation and respect. I don't go into McDonalds and tell you your fries suck, so don't tell me what shouldn't be bouncin' around my earholes.

*Man* *Down* *Mic3*

I think that answers your question.


This may or may not have been the video in question, but I know this definitely is the band.


Blog City image small

*Laugh* "What kind of world would this be if there was no humor?"

Good question. This world is a messed-up mess of a mess as it is with humor, so remove that from the equation and it'd be boring and lifeless. We'd be miserable, or worse, apathetic. There's nothing more frustrating than someone who lacks the capacity to give a shit, and the world would be pretty much divided into camps of people who either don't care or hate the people who don't care. Humor gives us an ability to laugh at some really terrible things while letting us know it's ok to do so. Humor can bridge cultural barriers and unite competing forces. How many of us would struggle to get through a day without your (or someone else's) sense of humor? Because sometimes, all you can do about life is laugh. Even when it's not easy, or if it's the only emotion left your body hasn't spent. When you think about all this time you spend doin' that life thing, are you gonna wanna remember the sad parts, or will you cherish the times you laughed so hard maybe you cried or even peed a little? It's easier to change wet drawers than it is to carry a piss-poor attitude around. Unless you don't have a spare set of drawers...in which case you might be considered Miles Davis  .

*Candlep* So work...yeah, I made it though the day, but I sat down a lot and it wasn't too busy. One of my coworkers also sells candles on the side...you know, those mega marked-up, "home party" candles out of a catalog. Party-Lite or whatever. Hey, if that's your thing, cool...I'm not one to discourage another person from tryin' to make an extra buck or two. But, ummm, we take in donated clothes and redistribute them to low-income families, so maybe there isn't a whole lot of crossover clientele, dig what I'm sayin'? And truthfully, some of these quote-unquote scents? Light cat piss on fire, because it's way cheaper than these things. They're that atrocious, no joke. Some of the citrusy-themed ones smell like garbage one day before it's absolutely too late to change it without it clouding your entire habitable airspace with the funk of leftover vegetables rotting. There were like forty or fifty samples she had me smell, to "get a guy's perspective". I think I liked six, and two of them were strawberryish.

Well, I think you've had about enough of this for another night...guess I should see what I've missed out on in the time it's taken me to carve up a few more indignant and irreverent notches in your ISP's bandwidth. Peace, words have taught me that words are folly, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 23, 2014 at 9:15pm
June 23, 2014 at 9:15pm
30DBC PROMPT: (Apparently there's no prompt today. I won't shame the guilty party because it's not really worth my time to do so.)

Good evening friends! I hope everyone's had a great weekend...I've got a lot to get to and I'm kinda excited today for a few reasons, so let's get right into today's awesomeness.

First, I'd like to say congratulations again to the winners of the contest I've dubbed "The 10k Views Giveaway". According to the Virtual Dice, Joy won a Merit Badge sponsored by Elle , while CJ Reddick took the grand prize: a "Major Shower" package (including reviews, a Merit Badge, and more) from the "Showering Acts of Joy Group. And most importantly, 20k was donated to "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group. I have to thank Charrr 🌈 , Cobe , Elle , and everyone who's read, participated, and tolerated me throughout the last week or so. I promise...no more updates about views and such! Now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging activities...sort of.

I'm also excited today because, well, lemme set it up like this: two summers ago, I was going through some really unfortunate times. No need to rehash the details. But it wound up being my last summer in Buffalo, which meant going to my last concert in Buffalo...which turned out to be Weezer on the then newly-developed Outer Harbor. And it was great because I'd never seen Weezer before...but it was a bit disappointing because even though I'd worked my way very close to the stage, the band ignored my screams requests to play my all-time favorite Weezer song ev-arrrh  .

Pre-concert, Buffalo 2012

Well, today the Buffalo alternative corporate rock whores radio station 103.3 The Edge   announced their annual summer Edgefest show, and Weezer's headlining along with Brand New and The Sheila Divine...which is a pretty sweet lineup as it is, and the rest of the supporting acts haven't even been announced yet!

I've probably been to four or five Edgefests over the years, and I've seen a lot of great bands...Our Lady Peace, The Tea Party, Jimmy Eat World (right before they got huge), Moby (playing with a live band), Billy Idol, Hometown Hero (most of which went on to become AWOLnation), 30 Seconds To Mars, and probably more that I don't remember. It's an all day thing, and the fact that it's on the sprawling Outer Harbor means it's bound to be an amazing time.

It's also worth noting that The Sheila Divine was from WNY and has a pretty big following still, and the drummer from Weezer is from the Buffalo suburbs as well.

So now all I have to do is figure out how I'm gonna get down to Buffalo for a few days, and hope I can score a ticket and some people to go with. It's August 10th, a Sunday...which means I'd have to be in town no later than Saturday evening, and find a way back to Buffalo on Monday (unless I miss a few days of work...but it'd be so worth it). If I'm able to go, I won't feel so bad about missing Weezer this past weekend when they were in Rochester (where they played friggin' "El Scorcho")...the girl I saw them with in Buffalo posted a video clip, and I was severely jealous. Brand New has been in WNY a few times since I left, and I caught The Sheila Divine at the Outer Harbor in 2011  . I don't even care who else is playing, to be honest...I'll be happy enough just being there.

BCF PROMPT: "Who shows you the way?"

I kinda heart prompts that unintentionally match each other in some way or another. The "Blogging Circle of Friends 's and "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise's prompts sorta have like a "found and lost" theme goin' on (or at least they do in my head).

Y'all know I'm not crazy (or even moderately enthusiastic) about organized religion, but I've dabbled slightly over the years in Taoism...which is basically Chinese philosophy that, well, I'll let Google explain it to ya: "the absolute principle underlying the universe, combining within itself the principles of yin and yang and signifying the way, or code of behavior, that is in harmony with the natural order. The interpretation of Tao in the Tao-te-Ching developed into the philosophical religion of Taoism."

I'll admit it's been awhile since I've done any kind of studying on it, but I've found two books that are very helpful: The Tao Of Pooh   and The Tao Of Wu  . Both teach in a very down-to-earth, easy-to-relate fashion that really feels more like you're learning the meaning of life as opposed to some stuffy, rigid religion that seeks more to condemn you for your sins than provide some enlightenment.

Personally, I glean instinct from the world around me. I guess that's a roundabout way of saying "thanks, but I'll show myself the way", meaning that everything is trial and error, and I'm bound to make mistakes...but as long as I learn something and avoid repetitious failures, I'll be ok. It takes a lot to get me to trust anyone else to show me "the way", whichever way is implied in this instance, and faith is a hard and troubling concept for me. If there is anything at stake, anything worth having, I would prefer the control to be in my hands and mine only...if I'm to be disappointed it will be because I let myself down, and if I come out on top it will be because I earned it. Plain and simple. No one else to blame, and no one to steal my joy or lay claim to my success. Life is so less complicated that way.


If they're only given a half-hour time slot at Edgefest...well, screw that. They should be allowed to play New Parade   from front to back.


Blog City image small

*Man* "Tell us about a time you ran away from something or someone."

Sometimes running away from something or someone (sorry to repeat the prompt in the first sentence; I consider it bad form) isn't a physical thing. Running away can be a simple act of avoidance, or an unwillingness to confront things happening both right in front of you and/or indirectly around you.

Part of me moving from Buffalo to Cortland was an act of running, more or less. There were a lot of factors involved...among other things I had no family, friends were dwindling, money and mental health were both in short supply, etc. I basically bottomed out, and the only choice I had was to run. For all the great things I say about the city I'm from, I know the other side of it too. The people who promise you something and don't deliver, the failed relationships, the bruised egos...whatever, I'm not gonna cry about it. But I had to get away from it, even if it meant that while the name on the map would change, the people might still be the same. The only way to beat that second part is to not give people a chance to hurt you...even if you have to sacrifice the opportunity to let someone make a difference in your life. I'm not ready to take that risk yet; I don't know if I'm ever gonna be and I've already made peace with the idea that I have to handle being by myself for a very, very long time. I tend to leave a path of destruction and bitterness wherever I go- whether it's intentional or not is separated by differing opinions- and I'd rather not keep doing that. I've done a tremendous amount of changing in the last year and a half...mellowing, reflecting, not getting wrapped up in stress and drama. There are still parts of me that will always be me, but I know I can't keep running forever. I just hope my mental legs can hold out long enough to suit me until I find out where I'm supposed to fit in the best.

*Drbag* Speaking of running...yup, it looks like that probably won't happen at all for a really long time. Remember how I said last week my physical therapist thought I was overdoing the home exercises? Well, now she wants me to do more...partly because I need to show more progress, and partly because my insurance will only cover a few more visits, so I have to cut down my appointments from twice a week to once a week while upping my home exercises. And (her words, paraphrased) because of my trimalleolar fracture  , which is a very traumatic injury that is difficult to heal properly, I don't see the same progress that she sees. I want it to be fixed and pain-free; it's not really gonna work out that way. Her goals for me versus my expectations? Two completely different things. She acknowledged that I won't be running this summer (or at least looking like I know how to run like a normal human being who hasn't been through what my leg's been through, all while being pain-free as well). While I'm grateful for these heart-to-hearts with my PTs, mentally they're a little soul-crushing (even when they're trying to lift me up and show me how I've made progress). Sorry to keep whinin' about it...I'll try to limit that in the coming weeks.

*Shirt* I have a big test tomorrow though...my first 9am-4pm shift at Capco since March. Granted, I'll be able to sit quite often...but still, it can be tiring and my compromised limb fatigues easily. Guess we'll see how it holds up being nearly three months removed from surgery. When I first started at Capco it'd been over a year since my previous operation, so I had lots of time to walk on it and build up some strength. I'm not anticipating much difference this go-'round, but ya never know.

*Hockey* Great news...the Hockey Hall Of Fame announced their Class Of 2014 inductees   today, and included is legendary goalie Dominik Hasek. In my opinion, he's the greatest goaltender to ever play the game...because of his style of play, it took him awhile to catch on in the NHL, but once he did there was no equal. His acrobatic athleticism, his passion, his uncanny ability to somehow will any part of his body or piece of equipment in front of a puck...the records, the stats, the awards...incredible. Were it not for some of the truly mediocre teams he'd been forced to carry, he may have had numerous Stanley Cup trophies in Buffalo during his tenure in the crease. I'm glad this past season he was able to bury the hatchet with the organization that allowed him the opportunity to become a star in the league. #39...The Dominator, and Hockey Hall Of Famer.

I think I've said about all I can today. Watch...there was probably some semblance of a prompt posted five minutes after I started bangin' out this entry. Oh well. Be prepared Like I said at the top, I'm not gonna shame anyone for not givin' us the heads-up in a timely manner, and my days of chasin' down people are over. I suppose I could've written my BCF and BC entries and rocked the refresh button a few times, but nah. Not my problem. Anyway, time to see what else is goin' down around here. Peace, all the more real, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 22, 2014 at 10:54pm
June 22, 2014 at 10:54pm
30DBC PROMPT: "Reflections , courtesy of Carly ; "Don't Say That!, courtesy of Charrr 🌈 ; and "Re: June 11th prompt."  , courtesy of 30DBC Creator/Founder .

Good evening people, and what is up? It's Sunday, and our man Earl didn't get around to putting up a prompt today...good thing we got word from him back on 6/14 to remind us all that in case there's no prompt after a reasonable amount of time, it's ok to go with the Brother Nature -endorsed "Open Mic" prompt (meaning: do what you like). No complaining that there's no prompt! Personally, I wasn't waiting for a prompt or for someone to take some initiative...I'm just hella lazy.

Since both Carly and Charlie had entries in before I finally decided to give up on Candy Crush (seriously, evil level 347??) and Song Pop for the evening, I'm gonna "follow" their entries via the long running, non-official "30-Day Blogging Challenge standard approach.

Carly went with a theme of "reflections", which in essence is what the "Sunday Review" is (minus your favorite blog entry from your fellow challengers' submissions). I've had a fairly average week, which I'll gladly take over drama, aggravation, and other random nonsense. I started back up at work, where they're counting on me to be a "regular", which I'm hoping is a good thing. I also learned that I'm somehow taxing my ankle too much during rehab, which could have serious complications if I'm not careful in the coming weeks. And by serious, in my doctor's mind, I mean "I can't do nothin' for ya, man". Sweet...so I'm like one eye patch, a parrot, and a peg-leg short of being a pirate? Super. *Rolleyes*

Charlie's entry...interesting as always, and he actually went looking for a legit prompt of some sort to use. Good on him, because I think I kinda dislike open prompts more than trying to think up a prompt of my own to include. Charlie's been on a bit of a kick lately where his entries are influenced a little by surveys and quizzes one can easily find on the internet. There's nothing wrong with that; it's a sweet little niche and I'm glad someone's thought to include something like that because not only does it up the "interesting" factor, but then everyone else wants to take the quiz and compare notes.

I lied though...there is something wrong with quizzes and surveys (but through no fault of Charlie's). I'm Facebook friends with this girl who's always posting these Buzzfeed quizzes (which, again, I have no problem with), but I'm about to hide her from my newsfeed because she never, ever posts her results. I don't care enough to ask her why she's like that, but I care enough that it's somewhat annoying. Like, I wanna know what houseplant you should be, because I got hyacinth and if you're of a similar leafy, colorful variety then that would be cool, even though we haven't actually spoken about anything in person in like 25 years. And if you're so ashamed that the result isn't what you were hoping for, then why even bother posting the link to the quiz in the first place? I judge you more for that than I would for who you actually got in the "What 80's hair metal singer are you?" quiz.

But I'm carrying on about nothing really relevant to Charlie's entry...where he posited "If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, what would it be? Why?" I like this prompt, because it's one of those rare ones where you could ask me it thirty days in a row and I could probably come up with thirty different words. Except today, because it was actually asked of me.

So what I'm gonna do is go out on a limb and say that there is a particular group of words that I want banned, but only in a certain situation. I'm against the usage of overly-scientific terms for sexual organs when spoken in casual conversation. Penis, vagina, and anything else of significantly higher intellect shouldn't be said between two people who are remotely familiar to each other, because it takes what could potentially be an awkward conversation and turns the knob past potential to full-blown weird when you're chatting someone up and they want to confide in you but they're fumbling for the appropriate word even though you know what they're about to get into. Example: two guys are sitting at a bar, and they each know that they've both been with the same woman recently- one with a bit of a reputation *Wink* *Wink*. One guy turns to the other and says, "So, uhhh, I got this thing on my thing...", and trust me, 98.7% of all guys in that situation will instantly know what you mean and feel comfortable talking about it, rather than have to hear his boy trippin' over his lips out of fear that he might have the herpolie-erps. We're not doctors or scientists or robots; we're regular humans. It's ok to spice up the vocab once in awhile, especially when it's a situation that will eventually require some levity anyway.

Why do we tend to make things out to be more complicated than they really are? Is it because there's this need to sound "more intelligent"? I'm not impressed or intimidated by the stammering-for-proper-nouns-and-verbs technique. Maybe because while I may not show it outwardly, stuttering puts me off a little bit (and I know it shouldn't, because sometimes it can't be helped, but sometimes neither can I). Just own the words you're gonna say and the sentiments behind them, especially if you're about to say something mind-blowing or life-changing. Balls > testicles. Boobs > breasts. And so on and so forth. Save the terminology for the professionals...they spent a lot of money to go to school for a really long time to earn the right to charge you lots of money for the privilege of saying things like "mammary glands" and "vas deferens". Let them have that joy.


I'm totally ok with the idea of "open prompts" if there isn't one in place, but I think there should be a designated, agreed-upon time to go by. Noon? 3pm? 6pm? Taking into account that we're all over the world and we're all on different schedules as far as how we prefer to do certain things, I think this would clear up any last remnants of confusion regarding the day's "leader" not having a prompt/entry ready. But until we can reach a proper resolution...


*Blush* Well, I never thought this day would come, but I think that it's kinda funny that Lyn mentioned orgasms in the comments section of yesterday's entry- a subject I just never really imagined I'd ever broach in a blog-like setting- and today during my internet travels I came across Buzzfeed's Arousing Facts About Masturbation  , for both men and women. And they're in video form, with each one (there's two) clocking in under two minutes. Who said Sundays needed to be celibate? *Smirk*

*Cakep* This might be the most hilarious thing I've seen on the internet in quite some time. Apparently, an Australian radio station's website posted a link to a cake-baking website that featured a very cool looking, intricate rainbow cake. It had a number (presumably the recipient's age) baked inside, with a rainbow-colored fondant topping-thingy. And like every other article on the internet that allows people to make comments, things got really stupid, very quickly  . I love that the person writing the article is basically giving us a commentary of the original posting's comments...if the internet has provided us with anything of relevance in its brief but storied existence, the ability to be misread, poorly interpreted, and trolled to epic proportions is Nobel Prize worthy. 'MURICA!!

*Gifto* Tomorrow's the big day!! (See "Note: So, I have this blog, right? It&...") I started this entry right at 9,999 views, so tomorrow evening when I get home I'll start rolling the virtual dice and picking some winners! Thank you for all of the snide and sarcastic comments support, and good luck!

Well, I'm off to finish procrastinating over everything else I had planned for today, and seeing as how I've gotta get up early tomorrow morning I should really get a start on the endless debate of what things I should do tonight and what I can let slide until the morning, depending on what time I need to get up (which itself is reliant on what I feel like taking on before I try to get some sleep in a little bit). I really need to get over this laziness thing if I'm ever gonna amount to anything, but that's neither here nor there. Peace, just grab him in the biscuits, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 21, 2014 at 10:54pm
June 21, 2014 at 10:54pm
30DBC PROMPT: "June 21, 2014 is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. After June 21st, the days will get shorter until the Winter Solstice. Some people celebrate the solstice. How will you celebrate the longest day of the year? Will you write verse? Will you write prose? Will you have a BBQ? Will you protest?", courtesy of Janine .

'Sup y'all? I feel like every month I set out to do this blogging thing with great intentions (typically first thing in the morning), and by the time the last week or so of the month rolls around I start putting off writing entries until the last possible moment it seems. Like, it's almost 9pm, and my body knows I'll be goin' to sleep in somewhere around 2-3 hours...and I've had all day to come up with something on top of it, and I barely feel like doing this (or anything else, for that matter). Maybe months are like my own personal solstice seasons, where I care about things more at the beginning of each month and by the 21st I have more of an affinity for dumpster fires and "Other Stories From Around The Web" rabbit holes than I do my own writing. Someone commission a research team to study these habits for me, please and thank you.

The cool thing about this prompt is I actually have an old poem from around the time I joined WDC that's titled, ironically enough, "Summer Solstice. It's not very good though...it's written from two different- possibly indifferent- viewpoints, and it really has almost nothing to do at all with summer or solstices. Maybe metaphorically there was some sort of hidden meaning involved, but in all likelihood I probably wound up with a line or two stuck in my head somewhere between lying awake in bed and taking a shower that morning, and it happened to be on June 21st of that particular year. Sometimes that's how this extracurricular stuff works out for me.

As for this year? Well, I don't normally celebrate solstices, nor do I commemorate them with words (most years). No barbecuin' for just me- I had a big lunch, thanks- and even though I need a few items from the drug store it can wait. I thought about maybe grabbing a book and heading over to the nearby park for some reading and so I could take advantage of a gorgeous day, but I kinda didn't feel like walking very far (even though the park is like two blocks away). It sounds kinda depressing, but the summer solstice and it being "the longest day of the year" makes me kinda sad because that's when I realize I haven't done nearly as much in nice weather as I should've and it's all downhill from here until next spring (because you can't just count the winter solstice as a turning point the same way you can the summer solstice...there are far too many days after December 21st in the northeast that suffer from single-temperature or lower weather conditions). I know it's my fault for not realizing sooner that I should be doing more things outside and all, but still...maybe I should've re-read this prompt after every few sentences, because I totally just remembered the "Will you protest?" part of it. Maybe I should start up some kind of protest...against me and for only allowing myself two and a half good months of decent weather (now until September...can't trust the skies or the wind in September) to enjoy the outdoors.

Maybe I make up for it by not complaining much at all year-'round about weather. The same people bitchin' about how sick they are of the cold and snow by the first week in December are usually the same ones who're breaking a sweat as soon as it hits sixty degrees and are crying for the air conditioning because they can't believe how hot it is already. The first day it doesn't rain they're all tuggin' on their collars like, "It's so muggy today! *Cry* My grass could really use some rain!" Naw man, don't lie. It ain't your grass...it's you that's too pussy to deal with any kind of climate and you're too lazy to take a cold shower or whatever, so don't be tryna deflect your issues on inanimate objects and then six months later try to tell me I should come shovel your driveway or bring you hot cocoa 'cuz you're afraid to leave your house because you might get frostbite or some shit. I'm not havin' any of it. Yeah, if I'm protesting anything, it's those people, because they seem to really like to promote my testiness.

BCF PROMPT: "Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?"

I've actually pondered this concept before, but in a slightly different way...what if, whenever we walked into a room, we had a soundtrack playing? Sorta like that time on Family Guy when Stewie got a job  , or when you had that IM service that played an almost unintelligible five second snippet of a song for all of your friends whenever you signed on or signed off or typed something and pressed enter during a group chat thing...wow, that was like 15 years ago, and look how far the internet and technology have come! And I still can't enter a room to the theme music from The A-Team unless someone's got it handy and cued up on a cassette or a cd or their phone, which in my opinion would take something away from the moment. But I digress...

A personal tagline? I see the point, but that would all kinda make us characters in the grand sitcom of life. The memorable roles get the taglines, and the taglines are uttered by the memorable people. Hi chicken...meet egg. The problem with that is not everyone is worthy of saying something cool at the right time because, let's face it, we all have that friend who says the wrong thing at the worst possible moment, and it's usually because they think they're being funny, but they're just annoying. Even Gomer Pyle knew enough not to say "Goll-oll-lly" all the freakin' time, ya know?

I'm tryna think if there's anything I say on a slightly regular enough basis...but I have more contact with people over the internet than I do personally (at least in the majority of the last 18 months or so), and that's not what the prompt wants to know. I guess I have a tendency to punctuate sentences sometimes with a form of "know what I'm sayin'?", although it comes out sounding somethin' like "knawhaImsayn?". I definitely don't think about it when I'm doing it, but I'm pretty sure it comes out whenever I'm tasked with answering any question that's more complicated than a 1-3 word answer would cover. If there's even the slightest bit of explaining involved, I probably require the extra validation of your comprehension at the end of my mouth's diarrhea of the thought process.

It's pretty universal too...it can be used in a pretty staggering amount of situations, because life should never be just a "yes or no" kinda thing. Try it sometime...when you're forced to give an explanation regarding anything, end your spiel with "knawhaImsayn?". It's almost like a decoy tactic and a credibility builder all in one, because it implies that you know what you're talking about more so than the person you're conversing with does, and you've just contracted four words into one syllable, which can give someone just enough pause to consider what you just did there to win over any debate. This head...it's not just a hat rack, people. KnawhaImsayn?


I nearly went with this EPMD classic jam  , but I'm goin' with this instead because 1) I've forgotten how much I enjoy this song; 2) chances are if you're keeping score at home Oasis > EPMD; and 3) this song combined with the EPMD track sorta gives you "knawhaimsayn?"...can someone mash up both songs and give me a proper remix, please?


Blog City image small

*Quill* "Let's take a walk on the wide side...we all have something we’d like to write about, but that doesn't really “fit” our blog. Write it anyway."

I don't know if there's any topic I'd consider to be a "bad fit" for the kind of thing I do in this particle of internet time-wasting. Never, to my knowledge, has something come up where I'm like "Naw homie, we don't discuss that around here". Nothing's taboo as far as I'm concerned; usually if I'm not bringing something up it's because I'm certain it's something nobody wants to hear about. And given my penchant for already going to places where I'm sure some folks would prefer I not go, I'm sure you can imagine what the off-limits list must look like.

But who knows what the future holds? The things I think maybe someday I'd like to write about wouldn't "fit" in anyone's blog. What if I wanted to bust out a screenplay, or a factual history of the sandwich, or a telenovela for my Spanish-speaking friends? Y'all know you don't read this blog because I might do that one day. Besides, if you are interested in something other than the crap I dish up, you've got a bazillion more reliable sources to get them from before you should be turning to me for your information.

*Cart* I've been meaning to post this for a couple of days now. I stumbled upon it late one night and it made me kinda homesick because I don't have a Wegmans super-close to me anymore, and I'll be damned if they're not the greatest place to shop anywhere  .

*Video* So I've heard that Oasis song probably hundreds of times, and I've also heard NWA's "Straight Outta Compton"   probably thousands of times...and supposedly Oasis nicked a drum loop   or some other sample from NWA, but I've never heard it. Speaking of NWA, more details have surfaced about their biopic  , which is slated to come out in 2015. I'll be kinda excited to see how that turns out.

*Pin* Anyone see The StoryMaster 's note about pop-notes ("Note: {popnote:"Popnotes are now...")? I still think pop-notes are the coolest thing, and I used to use them all the time when they were first introduced, but for some reason I stopped...probably because I was sick of having to look up how to use them every friggin' time I wanted to stick one in somewhere, and even then I still messed them up somehow, reversing the order or missing a "{/" tag somewhere. And yeah, they did look kinda blah and sterile, like they didn't match the rest of the site's decor. But now that they look more like they're part of WDC, I might have to start using them again.

10k: Speaking of notes, hopefully this is my last update regarding "Note: So, I have this blog, right? It&..."...we're close enough that 10,000 views is certainly within range between tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Saturdays are a notoriously slow day for blogging though, and some people like to take Sundays off, so I won't make any guarantees yet...but I'm starting to get excited about being able to give stuff away (with the help of a few friends) really soon. *Delight*

I think that has pretty much summed up my day accurately...and I've got an hour-plus to spare before midnight! All that really means is I wasted the extra couple minutes of daylight that we only see once a year by being inside and online. I'm such a killjoy *Rolleyes*. I hope you were just active enough to perhaps get some use out of that extra sunshine, and I'm glad you could tear yourself away from it just to visit with me for awhile. Peace, knawhaImsayn, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 20, 2014 at 9:40pm
June 20, 2014 at 9:40pm
30DBC PROMPT: "Okay... if you can be any kind of animal what would you be and why?", courtesy of Carly .

What's up y'all? Someday, I'm gonna write a blog entry that answers every prompt in just one sentence. *Rolleyes* Yeah, right. Imagine what today's response would look like if that were the case:

30DBC: A monkey, 'cuz they're cool.
BCF: Arby's.
BC: Yeah, as long as I knew now what I've learned from the past.

Boom, done. But then what would I do with the rest of my nights? Anyway, in case you're interested, here's an expanded version of my answers for today's prompts. Enjoy!

For the "30-Day Blogging Challenge, I would totally be a monkey. I have no factual or scientific purpose for this, other than yes, please!!   And seriously  .

I've probably intoned at some point in time that I'd either prefer to have a monkey as a pet or be a monkey. If I had to draw up a potential list for one category or the other, "monkey" would likely be at the top of both. And I won't even rehash the incredibly NSFW Dane Cook monkey joke  , which is hilarious but I've probably led you there too many times in the past.

However, the important question is the obligatory "why"? Monkeys are agile, clever, and slightly more sophisticated in certain areas than most other animals (although my last point might be up for debate). Monkeys are fun...who doesn't laugh or at least smile when they're watching something on TV and a monkey comes on? You know that's the cue to stay tuned for some good-natured hijinks...even if you, the rest of the audience, and everyone except the mark knows the monkey's about to get all next-level silly. They're born entertainers. I wouldn't mind that job.

BCF PROMPT: "What was your first job?"

And speaking of jobs, well, besides being a paperboy one summer (which, I think most teenage boys are at some point in their growing-up process), I actually started working when I was 15. Like a lot of kids, it was fast food. My aunt was a manager at the Arby's in the mall right by my house, so she got me the gig. Being 15, there wasn't a whole lot you could do because of labor laws besides run the cash register, fill drinks and put sandwiches and fries on trays or in bags.

But there was fun to be had as well. Occasionally we'd slap some mayo on a piece of cheese and fling it up to the ceiling just to see how long it'd stay there before the owner noticed (from what I heard, because the ceilings were pretty high in the mall, it was a bitch trying to clean up anything that was stuck up there). We had our little in-jokes that only the people we worked with would understand. And my Aunt Caca, she was no stranger to antics and pranks. The one I remember the most would be the diced green pepper trick...we had one sandwich that called for diced green peppers and onions, which came to us frozen in a big plastic bag in what looked like some kind of butter sauce or something. Anyway, she'd take a tiny piece of green pepper, stick it up her nose, and then call you in the back to go over your schedule or have some kind of serious work discussion with you...and right in the middle of that she'd stop, turn her head, and shoot the pepper out of her nose and onto the wall or the desk, as if it were a giant booger. And then she'd keep goin' like nothing happened. The first time I saw it (much like the first time I experienced any of her shenanigans) I didn't know what to think...I wanted to laugh, but she was also my boss, and while it was kinda gross I also didn't want to be disrespectful either, but once you saw the older kids trying to stifle their laughter, you started to learn what was really goin' on.

I did that for a year and a half or so, until I started to become more active in sports at school. I was definitely making less than $4/hr., maybe even $3.50 or $3.25...but the cool thing was everyone- even us part-time kids- got a bonus of $20 or $25 at Christmastime. I think that was the only job (at least the only one I can recall) that gave out bonuses to everyone for the holidays. Of course, that particular Arby's was owned by a local guy instead of a corporation or a group, and the money was coming outta his pocket; a nice gesture and one that you hardly see at all in this day and age.


How odd it this? I know for quite awhile now Facebook has been tracking other sites you visit while you're logged in, for the purpose of showing you "relevant" advertising, but I'm not logged on Facebook when I'm writing entries usually. Today, while not on Facebook but writing an entry about monkeys, I open up YouTube, and the first video it recommends for me is this.

If I can't be a monkey, can I be a midget mime instead?


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*Babyboy* "If there was a real fountain of youth but there is one catch: you don't know what age you will be once you have drank the water, would you still drink the water and take your chances? Tell us why or why not."

Yeah, I would...on the condition that I'd still know everything I've learned up until the point I've drank the water. I think doing something like that with no purpose other than just being young again is kinda foolish. If you could know you wouldn't be making the same mistakes all over again, it shouldn't matter what age you return to. What if you knew you could prevent an illness or a death, or could stop an abusive situation before it even began? Who would take the odds that drinking some magical water would give you a free pass from some of the bullshit you've had to endure once before, and who would be willing to want to go through it again, but this time knowing what lies ahead and being powerless to stop it? I say you've gotta know what you're getting into before you decide yay or nay, but if everything checks out, why not? And then, later on in your reset life when you come across the Fountain Of Youth again, you'll know to bring plenty of bottles with you so can fill 'em up and sell that potion on Ebay for mad loot, yo.

*Starbr* Here's a brief list   of famous monkeys, apes, gorillas, and similar animals. However, any list of this nature is suspect when it fails to include Magilla Gorilla, Marcel from Friends, the five little monkeys who were jumping on the bed, and Andre The Blog Monkey. I think we should expect Andre's name/legacy to surface on future Top 10 lists somewhere around or after 2058.

*Carbr* What do monkeys and coconuts have in common? If you've ever been in a car accident  , you probably know.

*Video* From the Department Of Unnecessary Censorship: I always find it funny when stupid, insignificant details are censored in clips you find on the internet...and it's even funnier when one word or phrase is censored in what is essentially 75-90% NSFW content. Like, if the word "doggy-style" should be blanked out of the Bloodhound Gang clip I posted earlier in this entry, well, there's probably worse things than that that fly unnoticed under a censor's radar on a daily basis, and if you're using "doggy-style" as a measuring stick of some kind as far as what's palatable to the majority of viewers, maybe a quarter of BHG's video should've been censored. After all, if people can get their panties all up in knots over two gay men kissing on live tv   in 2014 and launch ignorant tirades at the FCC, then how did "The Bad Touch" become a popular song fifteen (fifteen!!) years earlier?

*Trophyg* A quick update regarding the "Note: So, I have this blog, right? It&..." contest I've been running this week: it's, ummm, still going on. I'm right around 9,950 as of this evening, so we're slowly getting there...I didn't want anyone to think I'm welching on my end of the bargain or anything like that. Remember...we're up to the Major Shower from "Showering Acts of Joy Group for the winner. *Delight*

Well, it's still a kinda quick entry (if you don't factor in the links and videos)...but let's just come to an understanding that I'll probably never write a true short, bang-bang-and-it's-over, say-my-answers-and-drop-the-mic sort of blog entry. I feel cheap and dirty and boring when I even think about it. Maybe it's worked out super for you, but I can't do it. And I won't. And yeah, I know there's a difference between "can't" and "won't" and I'm speaking from a hyperbolic place, but seriously science has a better chance of turning me into a monkey that knows how to make an Arby's roast beef sandwich than me turning in three sentences and calling it an entry. But if you've made it this far tonight, I do appreciate that. Time for me to see what everyone else is up to this evening. Peace, sweat baby sweat baby, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 19, 2014 at 10:20pm
June 19, 2014 at 10:20pm
30DBC PROMPT: "I recently watched the new X-Men. Here's your prompt: If you were a mutant what would your power be and why?", courtesy of Noyoki .

Good evening, kind readers. Not gonna lie...I'm pretty exhausted right now and I'm having a tough time with these prompts. It was my first day back at work, and in the afternoon my ankle really didn't want to cooperate with me at therapy, so it's like I'm feeling a double-dose of frustration. Let's see what I can try to pull off tonight.

My lack of interest in cinematic adventures has been documented numerous times. I don't even know what an X-Man is. It's a comic book thing, right? Or was it a cartoon that became a comic book and then a movie? Fantastic Four? The Treacherous Three? Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew? I'm at a loss. No really, you don't have to explain it to me...the chance that I'll watch whatever medium it is in its current state is virtually non-existent anyway.

But I suppose this "being a mutant" thing has gotta be pretty cool, since people pay good money to watch movies made about them, even if the original connotations of the word "mutant" are typically hideous disfigurements and whatnot. Why would I want that? Couldn't I just be normal and do normal-people stuff? I'd like that better...<insert tired, obligatory "I haven't walked normally in over a year and a half" comment here>. For real. I'd gladly take maneuvering myself pain-free up and down a flight of stairs over any other kind of freak accident that gives me a supernatural ability yet makes me weaker in one very notable, exploitable way.

Think about it...Superman and kryptonite, and...ok, I can't think of any other superheroes right now. Batman had Robin, which, let's face it, he's probably better off without. Aquaman...has to fight his battles in water, and nobody likes him enough to give him his own full-fledged movie franchise. There's always something with these characters that the bad guys know how to use to their advantage until the climactic scenes of their episodes. Why would anybody want to deal with that? Does Superman wake up some days all like, "Geez, I'm really sick of Lex Luthor's shit today...I hope he leaves me alone."? I'm sure if all he had to do to love up on Lois Lane was just being mild-mannered Clark Kent, without the threat of catching a case of the kryptonite cripples, he'd probably prefer that...provided that she wasn't setting up unrealistic expectations for him to try to live up to by constantly comparing him to Superman.

So yeah, no weird science experiments gone haywire for me...because with my luck I'd probably have like super strength or something, but be allergic to bees, and my arch-nemesis would be a psychotic beekeeper or some shit, and he'd unleash a whole hive upon me on the day I forgot to stick the EpiPen in my codpiece, making my awesome powers for justice and niceness utterly useless. And that would totally ruin my whole outlook on life.

BCF PROMPT: "You’re awoken from your midnight sleep in your favorite chair to your dog barking wildly in the living room. Pulling her aside, you look out the window, only to see a face staring right back at you. Whose is it? Why are they there?"

I'm not crazy about horror stories, because I don't find many things to be all that scary or shocking actually...but I think this would scare the bejesus out of me. There'd have to be some kind of occult-like behavior at play, because there is no good reason for me to be woken up by anything between midnight and, say, 4am. A bomb would have to go off underneath me, and if that were the case I'd probably just perish in the accompanying fire immediately afterwards...what my doctor calls "mild sedatives" that "stay in your system longer than Ambien" will likely do that to a person.

So yeah, there'd already have to be some strange things afoot at the Circle K, especially if I don't even own a dog. I somehow doubt Lassie would make her way toward me to tell me little Timmy is trapped in a well, and if my door happens to be open then chances are the creeper isn't trying to look in my windows...by the time I realized what was going on he'll be on his way to figuring out my bankcard is damn near useless because I'm pretty broke at the moment.

But let's pretend a little more, for the sake of finishing off the prompt. Because I sorta believe in happy endings sometimes, he's not your standard villain waiting in the lurch. He's actually the weird dude from Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, Slugworth  - the guy Charlie runs into after finding his golden ticket. And instead of wanting me to steal an Everlasting Gobstopper, he wants to buy my blog and turn it into a movie, but he'll sell out the character of me in the process, which leads toward a very uncomfortable evening. I mean, first there's a strange dog in my house, and then I'm woken up shortly after falling asleep as the result of a pharmaceutical...do you have an idea how awkward, dizzy, and confused you can be when you're still fresh from the affects of an Ambien or a Doxepin?

I eventually turn him down, because he's Slugworth, and he's a dick. Then I suffer from a series of bad decisions and unfortunate circumstances, which threaten the functionality of my life, and I begin to consider his offer...and just as I'm about to sign the contract and turn my existence over to the dastardly Slugworth, the same dog bursts in from out of nowhere and knocks the pen from my hand, causing me to reconsider. I tell Slugworth to eff off hard with a wiffle ball bat, my romantic love interest suddenly falls head over heels for me because I stuck to my principles, and my blog is turned into a lousy straight-to-dvd movie starring some washed-up child actor whose only goal in life is to make another movie so he can avoid jail time. I even make a cameo at the very end, saying something cheesy like "Dreams really do come true!" and giving a thumbs-up sign while I'm making out with my ridiculously out-of-my-league girlfriend.

Sometimes, dreams really do come true! *Thumbsup*


You have no idea how excited I am that I finally have a chance to use this song in a blog entry in a somewhat meaningful fashion.


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*Magnify* "Write a post in your Blog but three years later in the future. What will happen?"

I'm really bad at predicting the future, because it's kinda like lying in that if you do it often enough you sometimes start to believe the nonsense you're spitting because you want others to believe it also, and you're coming off like you're trying to convince yourself of what you want to happen rather than focusing on what you should be doing (whether it's living life as it comes, or telling the truth, or both). Plus, I don't normally read other people's entries before I write mine, but that's exactly what I did today and I don't think there's any way I can top Lyn 's or Charrr 🌈 's entries (which are "Future Predictions and "WDC Takeover and Mutant Powers if your sole purpose for coming here was to read what I wrote but think you could be tempted into checking out better takes on this prompt).

So, anyway, here's what I'll be writing three years from now.

This one's about flying cars and bad jobs.

Nanu nanu friends! I'm chillin' in my driveway right now...just finished washing my Chevrolet Air Max space pod for the very first time...and it's about damn right we've finally got these flying cars. Wasn't I just bitchin' about that back in 2012 ("This one's about what we should've had years ago.)? For real though. I still see all you people drivin' your current-hogging electric cars, and I think "Geez, that's so bad for the ecosystem". I'm so glad I finally upgraded to this new mode of transportation, which runs on the tears of leprechauns and baby unicorn farts...finally, a sustainable resource we call all believe in. It's further proof that sometimes, our dreams really can come true!

But yo, that doesn't mean all's well here on planet Earth. Seems like no matter what galaxy you split atoms on, there's still gonna be shitty jobs that no one likes to do. Like, why did I even bother going to college anyway? All these "tech jobs" we were promised back in the day...everybody's got 'em. We're still slavin' away for that minimum-wage buck and strugglin' to keep the rent right. The problems don't go away; they just wear better makeup and scream a little louder when the judge says you should give them more of your paycheck

And then there's that Slugworth mawfugger, who keeps tellin' me all my troubles will be solved if I just sign over the movie and book rights for my life story to his production company. Says my fam will be taken care of and we'll eat good meals in that fancy pillform they got goin' on now, and I won't have to work another day in my life. I think he's full of shit, but what do I know? I only invented a virus-proof web browser and a top-selling mutli-player game app for Apple, like millions of other working-class stiffs out there.

Anyway, I think I better get outta here...I got a buddy who knows someone who says she's got a talking dog, but I'll believe it when I see it. Peace, and may the force be WITH YOU!!

*Thumbsdown* Terrible start to my day: I have a pair of sneakers that, well, to be fair I've owned them for a very long time...I fished them out today because they're one of the few pairs of shoes that'll fit over my ankle splint, and when I'm at work I want to wear my splint because otherwise my ankle has a serious tendency to roll inward. I swear, these shoes were fine the other day when I went over to Capco to talk to my supervisor about coming back. Today, the soles literally disintegrated in my hands, right by the air windows, as I was working them on. Which meant no splint for me, because I didn't want to waste time fiddling with other shoes just so they'd fit over the sumbitchin' splint.

*Dog2* Even worse way to start off the day: totally wasn't paying attention on my walk to work, and I stepped in fresh dog poop. I don't think I've done that in at least twenty years. I thought it was an obsolete occurrence, because damn near every community has enacted laws stating that if you're gonna walk your dog and let it shit on the sidewalk, you're supposed to clean up after it. I may live in the only city in the free world that doesn't recognize this simple act of common courtesy, and I don't know why I'm surprised.

*Drbag* And yeah, by the time I got to PT this afternoon, we (my trainer and I) surmised that either I'm overdoing it at PT, or overdoing the exercises and stretching when I'm at home, because of the lingering pain and swelling issue. It's to the point that I'm now seriously considering a second opinion on my ankle, as my doctor has said I'll have to live with it and there's nothing more he can do with it. I don't wanna go that route yet- I don't know if my insurance will even cover it- but it's so aggravating.

Well, I think I've done enough complaining here for one night. May as well wrap this up before I get anymore crazy ideas and this entry becomes way longer than it needs to be. Peace, please save me from the superpowers that I don't believe in, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 18, 2014 at 2:02pm
June 18, 2014 at 2:02pm
30DBC PROMPT: "Have you ever been a volunteer for an organization? What was the most fulfilling volunteer opportunity you have done? If you haven't really volunteered for anything, what would be your ideal volunteer job?", courtesy of PandaPaws;VETTECH Class of '20 .

Good afternoon, folks! There's a diverse array of prompts today...so much so I can't even begin to try and tie them together. That's ok though...they're interesting enough to merit standing on their own...merits. Let's begin.

I'm good with the idea of volunteering. It's not something I would've considered in the past, mainly because when I was working full-time there wasn't a reason or a cause I could fully get behind that felt worthwhile enough to consider spending my free time at. I'm generally exhausted enough from committing to a workplace environment that when I'm done, I just want to relax and unwind. There's nothing wrong with that.

But a few things have changed since I came out to Cortland. I've got this mental health diagnosis (severe depressive disorder), which has opened up a few opportunities that I might not have known about...especially when you're lost in the shuffle a city like Buffalo tends to create for you. Being laid up and unable to work for extended stretches has also contributed to my current situation...last I checked, nobody hires a guy who can barely walk and looks fine otherwise.

Through a few different programs, I latched on to Capco  , which is the Community Action Program of Cortland County. They provide a bunch of resources for everyone...especially those with low incomes. I work in the Family Essentials department, which is basically a clothes closet for the less fortunate. Besides clothes, we also offer basic toiletries (Cortland is where the Marietta factory is...they make tons of hotel soaps, shampoos and body washes).

While technically I'm a volunteer, the program I go through offers a stipend...$2/a day plus $2/hr., up to $52/month. Not much, considering what it costs just to live even the most bare-bones of existences. And I'll take it, because right now I'm living on Temporary Assistance, which covers my rent and gives me a few dollars each month...but my rent's going up as of July 1st, which means my cash allowance will go down, and this time it's almost by half. Word to the wise: never find yourself in a situation where you'll be homeless, because the quote-unquote bailout from the government is not the lifestyle anyone should live. Why multi-mega corporations get billions of government money when they're failing, yet common people going through hard times and unexpected calamities get next to nothing, is way beyond me. But that's another blog entry for a different day, I guess.

The point is...volunteering for a place that has the singular purpose of helping people is really its own reward. Not only does it get me out and active, but it reminds me that there are people that have life way worse than yourself. I'm thankful that places like Capco exist.

BCF PROMPT: "Song Stuck In My Head. I have a song stuck in my head.... Do with this what you want and have fun."

I always have a song stuck in my head. Most often for no good reason; I just wake up that way. I try to go to sleep at night knowing what the writing prompts for the next day are, and sometimes I already have a song picked out that's relevant to said prompts. And other times, it's a damn struggle marrying prompts to music.

Today, for instance...I had no idea what song I might try to associate this entry with. I even left iTunes open and running on my laptop when I went across the street to CVS for a few things. And when I came home, the song playing was immediately stuck in my brain...catchy pop sensibilities reminiscent of old sixties girl-group Top 40 hits, tinged with the nineties alternative vibe. The kind of song that makes you pause for a sec and appreciate, rather than just having to hear it for background noise.

They may not make any "best of" anything lists, and maybe these songs are just an "in joke" with a select group of people, but they remind you of something and/or they're just ridiculously catchy enough that once you hear it, you cannot unhear it for several hours, no matter what you're doing.


May your day not be filled with shitty music stuck unwanted in your head.


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*Bird* "Why is a raven like a writing desk? I love when the Mad Hatter asks this question. There is no right answer. It is just opinion related. One example: Edgar Allan Poe wrote "The Raven". Was there a raven nearby sitting by his window or did it fly in and sit on his desk?"

I don't even know...I almost skipped this today because I don't think I have the skills necessary to invent a palatable theory about something so random. Like, I'm fairly intelligent and stuff, but sometimes things go together for whatever reasons that don't make any sense and defy conventional wisdom.

So what I'mma do is consult the source I usually go to when I come across something that has me stumped. Fivesixipedia states that the raven is a bird, and birds live in trees...a writing desk can be made out of wood; therefore a natural correlation is born.

I realize this doesn't come close to answering the prompt at all. But that's the most I had the patience for best I could do.

*Cat* Even though I'm not a hardcore animal lover, I still possess empathetic sympathies most of the time...but this is a thing? "Special needs"   cats? I have some special needs too, but I don't see anyone willing to throw $50k at me in hopes that they might be fulfilled.

*Gift2* We're at 9,900 and counting! (Re: "Note: So, I have this blog, right? It&...") So get your name in the comments section and maybe win something! Somehow I average between 30-50 views per entry, so 10k will be happening very soon. Unless you don't like prizes. Weirdo.

With that being said, I think I've done enough confounding, confusing, and general misunderstanding for one day. Thanks for letting me have more fun than a guy should have. Peace, I know the dirty beard hangs, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

June 17, 2014 at 2:23pm
June 17, 2014 at 2:23pm
30DBC PROMPT: "Is it ever better to take the low road over the high road? Why or why not?", courtesy of Charrr 🌈 .

Good afternoon y'all! Nice to see all you good people on a lovely Tuesday...we've got some great prompts, so let's tear right into them, shall we?

The low road or the high road...I guess it depends on how well they're paved and what you're travelling in or with. Personally, I like the high road. It's safer and usually leads to better karma. But the low road is always more adventurous, especially when the pot is ripe for shit-stirring and you desperately need to make a point that can lead to the ultimate high road...validation.

There's no greater feeling in certain situations than knowing you're right. It sometimes takes awhile to get there, and you might lose people along the way, but in that moment there isn't a better joy than when you've swayed someone toward your opinion instead of their flawed logic. It's ugly, for sure, and the tires go flat at seemingly the worst times, but the reward is so much more appealing than just coasting along on auto-pilot, pretending there aren't dissenters or disasters.

The key is perseverance. If you let someone else rattle you, you're sunk. Being able to withstand arguments over your position, preferably with a smile or a smirk, is tantamount when going the low road. Sometimes you have to eat the shit you're stirring- it happens- but in order to dish it you have to know how to take it as well.

Politics and religion. Two topics that are often debated, sometimes righteously and often vigorously. You can take the high road and change the subject, but you know deep inside there will always be lingering questions, whether they're about your character or the person you're engaging. There's nothing wrong about standing up for your beliefs, especially when you can back it up with facts. For example: If I learned anything from Pop Diesel when I was younger, there's a healthy dose of hypocrisy in most all organized religions. But twenty-some years later, when he needed a job, the local Catholic church kitty-corner from our house took him on as a handyman. He had to put pride and opinion aside because he had to make a few bucks. Smart move, or sellout? Depends on which way your road is headed.

Me? I defer to the high road at all times possible now. I have no need for drama or misguided (and often unnecessary) anger. But fuck with me the wrong way, and I'll have no problem runnin' with you through the mud...no matter how low your road goes, I know where the way up is.

BCF PROMPT: "Have commenters about your blog post ever made you change your mind or helped you make a decision? Tell us about that time."

I'd like to think not, as I'm pretty solid in my beliefs and I trust in what I write, even when I'm lacking in self-confidence. It takes a lot these days to sway my thinking. My ways are set. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my first attempt at blogging, over at "I'm Studying You. I'd detailed my experiences courting a beautiful woman; one I'd end up dating for three and a half years. Were it not for WDC members like Noe, Lisa, Hailey, Kare, Gaby, Ashley, Julie, Zack, and others, I might not have had the confidence to push my desires into action. That's proof positive that readers can make a difference in your life...if you let them.

I think now we're in a sort of lull...anyone can write a couple of sentences and call it a "blog", and suddenly it's the greatest thing ev-arhh. The talent pool is being diluted. Great writing isn't just the expression of opinions; the concrete standard of why plus the back-and-forth that comes with it should be the norm in a still-burgeoning artform.

Sharing and engaging is a very important thing. Writers write because (I believe) it's a safe way of getting attention. It's control when we lack other ways of attaining it. We're free and able to express ourselves, and we decide what we want to address.

A comment like "Nice entry!" doesn't change my mind about anything. But show me you're interested in a topic I broached...then I'll be more than happy to engage you. I try to do that and keep it in mind when I'm reading blogs and making comments.

But back to the matter at hand...today? No. I'm not so sure that someone's gonna come along having read this entry and will say something that will change my mind, my life, or anything else. As open as I am to all sorts of entanglements, I'm still very set in certain ways. Shock me and prove me wrong.


I know I've shared this video a gang of times, but it's relevant and for some reason the song's been lodged in my head since I woke up this morning.

Real blogging, seated in reality,
is like driving a burning clown car.


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*Flowery* "Today is 'National Eat Your Vegetables Day' in the United States, but everyone can play. What is your favorite veggie and your least favorite veggie?"

I did manage this morning to make my way down to the local farmer's market in town, where I purchased a bag of locally-grown lettuce for $2. And that's a big deal because I can go to the big chain monolith and buy a head of lettuce for the same price and watch half of it rot in my fridge. I'll take a ziplock bag full of locally-grown, pre-torn lettuce leaves any day over the alternatives.

I've been on a kick lately where I've been making wraps...deli meat (Sahlen's turkey, ham, and chicken  ) with Cooper cheese  , and canned diced tomatoes with green chiles drizzled with horseradish mayo. It's been fantastic on the taste buds and forgiving on my ever-widening hips. But I'm having a hard time with the spinach tortillas...how do you know when they're "bad" (as in "not consumable")? They're green from the start, with flecks of greener green. I know what moldy looks like, but them wraps caused me a double-take before I went with "Fuck it, I'm hungry." So much better than canned pseudo-happiness food.

Can't lie though...beets were a thing when we went to Sunday dinner at my grandmother's house. Canned. In a purple sauce. I might've liked them, but I also might've only been playing nice and respectable toward hot food. I can't imagine ever buying canned beets for myself on a whim.

Mashed turnips were another staple of Gramma's cooking. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without that.

But yo...brussel sprouts are the jam. Boil 'em, and fry them up with butter and bread crumbs. Same with cauliflower. That's the joint right there. When a veggie doesn't need a condiment, that's real. There you go.

*Ribbonv* So I did this last night: "Note: So, I have this blog, right? It&...", and it's a real thing. I want to reward the kind folks who read me. I was at 9825 (views) yesterday, and from there on out I'm offering a chance at a prize package bonanza fiesta to those who comment on my entries going forward. Make a comment-like noise and you'll be entered in the virtual dice sweepstakes. I'm big-smiley proud to thank Elle , Cobe , and Charrr 🌈 , who've made it possible for me to grand prize you with a Major Shower from "Showering Acts of Joy Group. Got all that? Liking me is optional...wanting to win cool virtual stuff should be mandatory.

And that's all I have to say. My laptop is screwfacin' me for being on it way too long, and I'm probably due for a nap...so peace, why don't you tell us like it always is, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

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