%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
A continuation of my original blog, "Surviving Motherhood". |
|
Welcome to my world of middle school, high school, and motherhood. The life of a mom is never easy, especially as children grow, and especially when you have a special needs child. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I am a planner. Ever since Don and I got together, I have been. Before anyone else was in my life, I flew by the seat of my pants, never caring really where I ended up or what I was doing. I was under the belief that something would always turn up. Ahhhh, the life of a young adult whose only concern is herself. Now that my life involves 4 other beings, I find myself trying to plan for as much as possible, for the sake of stability. It helps calm my mind to know that I have something up my sleeve just in case something should happen. It's not always foolproof, but I've found that 8 times out of 10, when something goes down, and I have a back up plan to get us through, I'm a lot more calm and rational. I can keep us afloat and keep moving forward, hardly missing a step. I've made an art out of turning full fledged panic into plans A-Z and thensome. The end of childhood for both of my kids is drawing to a close. One is soon to be 11 and in middle school, the other 14 and entering high school. I have been heartily warned that the last 4 years of his public education will go by quite quickly, which I realize is probably true. This means that Journey's 3 years in middle school will fly by as well, and the next thing I know, I'll be looking at a freshman and a senior. This realization has led me to a lot of panicky, restless nights. It has also brought me to other realizations, such as the fact that Maryland is a very expensive place to live. This particular area is very expensive, and where we are right now at this time is the only place that we can really afford here. Truth be told, it was never our intention to be here forever, and if we did stay, we'd literally have to stay in this apartment for the rest of our time. There's really nowhere else to go within this area that we can afford, even if I did get a job, at say, Food Lion or something of the sort. Don and I have talked in semi-deep discussions about making a return to Colorado, after all is said and done. I've cried many times though, thinking that we would be leaving the kids behind, or leaving the kid's only known home behind. I know that the kids are just as sentimental as I am, and I don't want to hurt or crush them. However, we would love to return to where this all began. Last night, the kids and I talked about it all. I know that after Ryan finishes high school, he would like to look into college, like a 4 year university college. He asked if it was possible to go to one in another state, which I explained is completely possible. I did want him to know though, that if he chose a school close to here, we wouldn't leave him here to fend for himself while we moved cross country. Likewise, Journey has told me that she does NOT want to attend a university. She cannot bear the thought of leaving out of our house to attend school in a completely different area. I explained that it's quite simple to take community college courses while staying at home with us, which she was over the moon about. While I am buoyed by the fact that my children are looking to further their educations, I really don't want to leave them behind here. So, we started talking. Ryan said that if he does attend a university in the area, he would be willing to make the move to Colorado with us, if we would let him finish out his fourth year of university to do so. I explained that that wouldn't really be too much to ask, and also told him that if need be, all accredited colleges transfer many credits over, so if we did make that move, he could also attend another university somewhere else as well. We'll see how that all plays out a bit later though. As for Journey, she told me that she'd be willing to wait with us for Ryan to finish out, and that she would like to attend a community college after we've moved. I am quite pleased with this idea, and I love the fact that she's willing to make the move with us. I'll be sad that the kids will be moving away from most of their childhood friends, and I'll be sad that I'm moving away from my girls, but the time is coming, and we must start planning for it now. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger and brighter by the minute, and I want us all to be prepared for what may come. My heart is so full, knowing that the kids would like to make the move with us. We are such a tight knit family, so close together, and always wanting to be close. I don't want to be far away from my kids. I want them to be at least a state over where I can easily visit them, and help take care of their little ones when it's time, etc. The talk last night helped bring some peace to me, both in the present, and for the future. Instead of fearing what's going to happen to us, I'm more willing to look forward to these next 7 years without as much hesitation. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
