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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Turkey DrumStik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

🦃 intuey Grateful & Blessed

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Turkey DrumStik

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

April 5, 2020 at 11:23am

#980308

Hey, maybe stop telling people how to feel?

Artist: XTC
Song: Dear God
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"JAFBG" Prompt: What well-meaning platitudes are riling you up?

Strap in, buds.

There's a laundry list of things that suck about a pandemic. Can we address the fucking pointless platitudes? Here's a list of things I've heard in the past 3 weeks:

"Don't be upset that your college commencement is cancelled. You should just feel lucky you're not sick."

"Everything is in God's hands, just give yourself over to Him and you'll find peace."

"Everything could be a lot worse, why are kids upset about their prom being cancelled?"

"Everyone is going through something right now. We can't focus on ourselves."

"Of course people can't get care for chronic conditions right now- there's a fucking pandemic!"

"Who cares if they have to spend their birthday alone? It comes around every year."

Just shut the fuck up, man. You're not helping anyone.

People are allowed to be upset. Telling them that they shouldn't feel upset is fucking bullshit. Seniors in high school are allowed to be upset that they're not going to get a prom or graduation. People in my graduating class who worked their dicks off for years are allowed to be upset that they're not going to get a college commencement or graduation celebration. People who have to be alone on their birthday or can't celebrate their loved ones' birthdays are allowed to be upset. People with chronic health conditions are allowed to be stressed out/concerned that they can't get proper treatment for their existing conditions.

And for the love of all that is holy, stop with the fucking religious platitudes. Unless you know that the person you're talking to is just as religious (and of the same religion as you), you're not fucking helping. You're making it worse.

"God will take care of you!"

I don't fucking believe in god. There are millions of us who don't believe in this bullshit. You telling me that your god is taking care of everything is the equivalent of me telling you that my cat is going to take care of everything. Except, you know, my cat actually exists.

It's way too much. Hundreds of thousands of people are going to die from this. How dare people walk around like, "It's God's will for you and the people you love to die right now.

"

Just stop. Do you want me and a bunch of other people walking around telling you to pray to Hygieia, the greek goddess of health, so that the pandemic will stop? Would that be enjoyable for you? Would that make you feel better about everything?

No, it wouldn't. Because it fucking means nothing to you.

Hey, religious people, did you know that you can communicate with others without bringing religion up incessantly? You can actually have conversations where you don't invoke the word of your god. It's possible. You can be religious/spiritual without pushing it onto other people by spinning every fucking conversation to revolve around your faith. You should try it occasionally.

Above all, everyone needs to just let people be upset. Let people be worried, concerned, agitated, frustrated, scared, anxious, disappointed, etc... It actually isn't your job to swoop in with pointless platitudes to tell them that what they're feeling is wrong.

If you're upset because you're not being productive, that's okay.

If you're upset because you can't visit the people you love, that's okay.

If you're upset because you're out of a job or in financial distress, that's okay.

If you're upset because you're missing out on seminal life events, that's okay.

If you're upset because you don't want to be alone on your birthday, that's okay.

If you're upset because you're worried about your pre-existing health conditions, that's okay.

If you're upset because you had a good gym routine before this, that's okay.

If you're upset because you have an "essential" job, that's okay.

If you're upset because you can't get the things you need from the store, that's okay.

If you're upset because you're lonely or getting cabin fever, that's okay.

If you're upset because you want everything to go back to normal, that's okay.

If you're upset because there's a fucking pandemic, THAT'S OKAY.

Don't let anyone tell you that you're being selfish, narcissistic, or otherwise a dick for being upset about your own shit. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to hand over what little control you have left to their religious figurehead because it would make them feel better if you did. Don't let anyone tell you that things could be worse so your feelings are inappropriate.

Your feelings are completely fucking valid.

If you want to inflate a few balloons, make an instant cake, and throw yourself a fucking quarantine pity party - fucking go for it! You deserve the freedom to express that you're having a bad fucking day without being shrugged off with platitudes or turned on to any fucking religion. It's completely normal and rational. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

The Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'll perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in
It's you
Dear God

Comment • View 7 comments

April 5, 2020 at 12:09am

#980274

Quarantine Monopoly

Artist: Bright Eyes
Song: Easy / Lucky / Free
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
#SaferAtHome "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: You get to pick three people- living or dead- to be quarantined with. But...in order to pass time, you have to play Monopoly. Who wins? Who cheats? Who cries? Who flips the table, sending pieces flying everywhere? You choose the players and how they see the game through its finish.

I'm already quarantined with two people and I dunno if we'd make it out of a game of Monopoly right now.

I mean, the plus side is that we might actually have time to finish a game of Monopoly, but it's just not worth it.

I've been essentially quarantined (minus going to the grocery store twice) for over 3 weeks now. Here's what I know for certain... You DON'T want to be quarantined with people you don't know. I can pick any three people, but how do I know that Charles Bukowski doesn't have a bunch of annoying fucking habits that are going to drive me nuts within 2 hours? It's Bukowski, so that's almost a given. Bad choice.

What I'm getting at though is that it would suck to meet someone for the first time in quarantine... and then be stuck with them for the rest of who knows how long.

If I had to pick though, I'd pick a writer, a musician, and a painter.

I could be writing buds with the writer, listen to the musician play, and learn a thing or two from the painter. I think I'd go with Franz Kafka for the writer because I can't even imagine what he could whip up about our current nightmare. Reality is already Kafkaesque so it's not even really a stretch.

For the musician I'd go for Conor Oberst because I think he's ridiculously talented and I also feel like we'd get along okay-ish for some reason. Either that or the combined moodiness would cause the other two to toss us off the balcony.

And then the artist... Dalí? Surrealist af. Everything is surreal already, so again, it just feels appropriate.

This would be such a fucked up mix. I kind of love it.

Now, who would win at Monopoly... That's a good question. Monopoly came out after Kafka died so, I mean, he could probably pick it up pretty easily but I feel like I've already got a leg up on him. I have a feeling that Salvador Dalí could play some mad Monopoly. I have no idea why, but he might just do something confusing to outwit the rest of us. So I'd have to crown Dalí the reigning champion of Quarantine Monopoly.

As for who throws a tantrum, cheats, cries, flips the table...

Obviously - that would be me. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I've got some friends I barely see
But we're all planning to meet
We'll lay in bags as dead as leaves
All together for eternity

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