%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 06:36 I'm writing from my phone today, so the entry probably won't be very long. My computer is updating and it's been a couple minutes already but it's still at 0% so...yeah. That's the second thing that has not gone according to plan. The first thing is that my son is already awake. I would have liked at least an hour to myself, to do some writing and work on my assignment a little bit, but he's wide awake so I'll have to do the best I can. I don't understand why he's up so early. He went to sleep at half seven last night and didn't nap in the daytime so I thought he'd sleep at least 12 hours. Argh! We have a pretty busy day ahead. My friend is coming over with her kids later this morning and they're going to spend the night. I'm so excited! I've only ever had like two sleepovers with friends in my entire life! I'll leave it there for today. It's not been ten minutes but oh well. I have no idea what else to write about. 06:43 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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