I don't have a place where I can really just let my thoughts out. They tend to just stay bottled up and away until I forget about them entirely. So I've decided to put them here: thoughts, frustrations, vents, anything. I'm not really sure if this sort of thing is normal here - I honestly don't know much at all about this site despite having posted here before. I understand the resources to learn are blatantly available, and one day I will be hit with the right amount of motivation and resolve which, assuming that I have a way to access this site the moment that happens, will allow me to spend some hours learning everything I need to. But until that day I'm just going to assume this is normal enough to at least go unnoticed.
My mom found out about my more self-destructive habits during a doctors visit sometime last week. Apparently I'm meant to go see a therapist, but while I've desperately wishing for one since like 2019, I doubt it will actually happen. It's no one's fault in particular. Therapy is expensive, my mom's schedule is about as reliable as her employees, and my dad doesn't know - and doesn't get involved in this type of thing anyways.
It's a nice thought though: therapy. Maybe one day.
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