Your heart freezes. It’s not even a debatable case – the bottle points at you, and its rear points squarely at Samantha. You feel a growing ball of bile in your throat, and your legs – despite sitting – feel weak.
Everyone’s laughing. Aurora cackles, covering her mouth, while the boys are cheering. “Whoa!” “Girl-on-girl action!” “I bet they’re gonna chicken out.”
Samantha grins, lifting her eyebrow. “Well, I never back off a challenge.” She leans towards you, grinning. “Shall we?”
You can’t move. You can’t fight the incoming disaster. All you can see is time slowing as the object of Lauren’s desire approaches her, lips puckered, ready to kiss you. You inwardly hope it’s just a pecker, but as your lips touch, she lunges forward and thrusts her tongue at you.
You wonder what Lauren would do in this situation. Would she follow? Would she resist? Her words strike deep into your heart. God, this isn’t real. Sammie’s kissing me. Sammie’s kissing me!
You feel your hands and arms moving on their own. You grasp Samantha’s jaw, push her back, and dive your tongue so deep inside her throat that you can touch her tonsils. You moan, drunk on her sweet scent, and soon your hands slide downward. You feel hot, your sweat turning into steam, and all you can think is leaping into her legs and make out.
But as soon as it started, it stopped. Samantha leans behind, chuckling. “Whoa. You’re gonna make people think we’re a thing.”
Your eyes snap wide open. No. Sammie doesn’t know. You look at everyone, the world around you collapsing into darkness. They saw me. They’re gonna know. They’re gonna know, they’re gonna tell, they’re gonna judge me...
You push yourself back, scraping the floor. You feel tears running down your cheeks, and you feel your face freezing into a rictus of fear. You feel your jaw unhinge, and you hold it back shut. You shake your head, your guts trying to make a run before your legs can. You turn, and heedless of what’s before you, you dash away.
You stumble upon obstacles you can’t see. You stomp shoes of people you don’t know, nor care about. You seek an exit, but the music feels loud and pounding, and even if it’s early and the venue’s not full, you don’t want others to see you. As soon as you notice the familiar sign of a bathroom, you tackle the door and lock yourself inside one of the booths.
And then, only then, you curl up atop the toilet seat and bawl. It’s painful and disgusting; you choke, and you screech, and you cough and you heave. You tremble, your skin crawling with disgust, and as you feel breathless, you rip off Lauren’s face off yours. And yet, you can’t stop feeling her crushing despair within you – the feeling of betrayal and shame swelling upon you.
You close yourself, shedding foreign tears, until you hear someone at the door. You shudder, fearing the worst, but you find yourself unable to react when you hear Samantha’s voice. “Laurie? Are you here?”
You fiddle with Lauren’s face, taking a deep breath before shoving it into yours. You hear her again, this time very worried. “Laurie? Please tell me you’re here.”
As soon as you feel the seam closing, you whimper. “Sammie? Are you alone?”
“Not really, but...” You hear her pause. “Do you need to?”
“Please...”
“Rory?” you hear her say. “Wait for me outside, alright?” You hear the door close, then a knock on the booths. “Hey. You alright?”
You open the door, lean to check, and as you see her, you shake your head. “No.”
She then hounds you, hissing. “Dude! What the hell was that about?”
“Are you fucking crazy!?’ You grip her shoulders until they glow back into white. “What the hell was that!?”
“Whaddya think?” your friend says, his cocky charm pushing through Samantha’s visage. “You knew this could happen.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Obviously not, but unless you tell me, I can’t read it from your crazy face.”
“Lauren’s a lesbian!” you hiss. “Nobody in school knows this!”
“So what? The only one’s from school are us. No one’s gonna know! Besides – this is a game! Maybe you went too far shoving your tongue like if it was your dick, but--”
“You idiot!” That seems to rattle him. “You don’t get it. Imagine that suddenly everyone knows you’re dressed like a woman.”
“Well, I am because I’m wearing a woman.”
“No, you doofus! Imagine this instead – someone starts spreading that I wear women's clothes because it makes me horny and that I masturbate with them.”
He scoffs. “Well, that’d be crazy but hilarious.”
“Now imagine that same person says I’ve been wearing a specific outfit from Jess, but they don’t say it’s hers – she could only identify it because of their description. How d’you think it’d make me feel?”
“Like a doofus?” You smack his head – you can’t believe he’s cracking jokes at this moment. (Does he have to play the bimbo?) “Ow! But seriously – I still don’t get how that connects with what happened to you. Is it ‘cos you think it’s gonna destroy their friendship?”
You nod and stare hard at him, waiting until he reaches the realization. “Still nothing?” you question him after almost a minute.
“No, nothing.”
“Remember what you said? That people would think we’re a thing?”
“Well, yeah, ‘cos this chick isn’t lesbian but...” You feel the whole process of realization cathartic. First, his eyes open, her pupils dilating. Her skin grows pale, and his jaw unhinges. He gasps, covering his mouth, then shakes his hand. “No fucking way. Laurie has a crush on her friend!?”
“Exactly! What if this spreads out and--?”
“Wicked!” Your stern look ruins his enjoyment. “Alright, alright – so it’s bad!”
“Bad!?” You shake him. “Dude, stop being such a bimbo! We’re lucky Lauren isn’t awake to see this, or else she’d be devastated! You know how she’d feel to have a bunch of strangers, including Samantha’s cousin, witness how she basically fucked her best friend’s mouth with her tongue? She’s terrified of what she’s thinking!”
“Well, if you ask me, I wish I could’ve seen it from the outside.” Once again, you stare him down, and he finally reconsiders. “Alright, so I gotta figure out what Samantha would say. Give me some time, alright?”
You nod, trying to calm the voice trying to drown you in her sorrow. I wanna kill myself. It’s all over. Sammie’s gonna hate me forever, and all because of this stupid little kissing game--
Hey, you tell her. First of all, it wasn’t your fault. I’m pretty sure your friend Samantha would never kiss you.
Yeah, but what if she got pressured to!? She’d just give me a peck, and she’d realize how much I love her with just a look!
She’d be confused, you confess, but she’d be just as ashamed as you. I’m pretty sure about that.
“Well,” Jimmy finally responds. “Seems that she’d be in shock if she learns about that, but she wouldn’t hold it against Laurie. It’d be more like ‘why didn’t you tell me before?’, but she’d be super supportive.”
You hear? you console the voice in your mind. Your friend won’t hold it against you.
But our friendship won’t be the same. She’ll never trust me as her friend again – not without knowing I have feelings for her.
“Lauren’s afraid her relationship with Samantha won’t be the same again.”
“She thinks so?” He grimaces, then chuckles. “She says she won’t hold it against her – that she’d help her get over her feelings, but that she wouldn’t stop being her friend.”
But I wouldn’t be able to see her as mine again.
You sigh. “She’s blocked, man. I don’t think this’s gonna work, alright? Tell your cousin we’re returning home.”
“Really?” You nod intensely, pouting. “Alright, alright. Man, I fucked this up, didn’t I?”
“Pretty much, but this was fucked up from the get-go.”
“Well, I didn’t see that when you were dancing your ass off.” That just deepens your shame as it makes you deeply confused. “Maybe you feel bad now because of this, but singing and dancing was fun, wasn’t it? I certainly had fun.”
“Maybe, but--”
“I’d ask you to stay a bit more, but I’m not gonna push you. I’m gonna ask Rory to take us back; I’ll work something out.” Your friend hugs you tightly, letting Samantha’s golden hair brush your cheeks and fall upon your chest. “Never say I don’t have your back.”
“Thanks.” You sigh with relief, only to notice his hand creeping dangerously towards your ass. “Hey, what’s the big idea?”
“I gotta squeeze this moment for all it’s worth, man. Believe me – if I was Samantha, I’d also be a lesbian for you. Then again, I’d be a lesbian for her as well.”
“You doofus...” You push him aside, and he cackles. You’re unsure if that hug came from him or if it was what Samantha would do, but you’re no longer as traumatized anymore. You even find the strength to laugh at Jimmy’s silliness.
“Ready to go?” he says as he cocks his head, smiling with Samantha’s radiant face.
“Yeah,” you express with relief. “Let’s go.”
“Then get a move on!” he exclaims as he pinches your ass. “Jeez, that ass’s so tight!” As you stare him down, he flinches. “Alright, I was just joking!”
Before he can turn the doorknob, you stop him. “Remember, you have to be in character.”
With a wink and a taut smile, Jimmy opens the door and you immediately notice the difference. “Sorry about that, Rory – Laurie here’s a little squeamish about playing the bottle game with girls around. Listen – I'd love to stay, but...”
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